Annie brings out a whole array of home cooked Thai food; it looks and smells absolutely divine and we all waste no time at all tucking in.
“Annie this is sensational, thank you” Pippa seems blown away by the tastes on offer,
“You’re welcome” Annie smiles, she is clearly eager to be the perfect hostess and I think Pippa’s compliment has made her night.
The drinks continue to flow and it’s not long before I’m a little light headed, I get the impression that Steve maybe used to drink more that he does now as he’s trying to keep up with Jackson but just getting more wasted with each bottle.
“JJ, I’m chuffed to bits mate. Seeing you and Rosie together, it warms my soul!” here we go again, I’ve seen Steve drunk twice now and all he seems to want to discuss is Jackson and I, “I mean it, she’s a star and well, I never thought I’d see the day where one woman was enough for you, but I was wrong” I shift uncomfortably, Jackson is not yet certain that he can commit and I don’t want Steve to scare him off,
“Stevo, come on mate, that’s enough” Jackson pleads with his friend,
“No man, I’m sick of this shit with you JJ. You’re in love with Rosie; I can see it in your eyes mate. Just admit it and be happy” Jackson stares blankly at Steve and there’s a mix of anger and fear in his eyes, Steve doesn’t appear to see it, “Jackson, she’s the one mate, look at her”
“Alright Steve, enough about my love life. When is the wedding?” Jackson acknowledges my change of subject with a brief glance at me, and Annie takes over the conversation.
Annie fills us in on the plans for their Thai wedding here in Ao Nang and their English wedding in Devon, both are due to take place in January and Pippa and I are now officially invited. By the time Annie is finished talking, both men have gone inside the house, I decide to go looking for them, and for the bathroom.
“Steve, you need to back off, you know me” I hear Jackson talking to Steve, his tone is harsh, he means business. I stand, hidden outside of the room that they’re in,
“JJ, I’m sorry mate, my mouth runs away with me. But come on, you’ve spent the last week with the girl, you light up in her company, and you haven’t shagged anyone else since you’ve known her, have you?” my heart stops, please Jackson, don’t say that you have,
“No, but that’s not the point Steve, we’re going slow with this, don’t push it” I breathe a sigh of relief at Jackson’s response, if I’d heard him say there had been anyone else, I think I would have passed out there and then “Just because I like the girl does not mean I’m going to get serious with her Stevo, don’t give her false hope”
I feel sick and head for the bathroom, Jackson must have heard me in the hallway as he follows me there and knocks at the door,
“Rosie is that you? You ok sweetie?” he sounds sheepish, obviously worried about what I may have heard. I decide not to say anything and enjoy my night with him, what will be will be as they say, but as I look in the mirror and call out my response I fight to hold back the tears that are waiting to fall,
“Yep, I’m good just a bit tipsy. I’ll be out in two minutes”
“Ok, well if you need me I’m just here” oh Jackson if only that were true.
My walk back to the garden gives me time to fix my mask. I paint on the same happy look that I arrived with. I know that Jackson’s feelings for me are deeper that he cares to admit and I’m not going to shy away and let him forget that. We’re going to have a great night tonight and tomorrow and then I’ll head to Phi Phi, as the saying goes, absence makes the heart grow fonder.
As two am rolls around I look up at Pippa who is fully clothed and about to dive bomb into Steve’s pool and I realise that I haven’t seen Jackson in about half an hour.
“Steve, have you seen Jackson?” I ask as Steve takes a seat with me at the table, Annie is getting ready for her own jump into the water,
“He’s gone honey, did he not say goodnight? He said he had an early start” Steve has now sobered up and looks at me with pity, my expression must have given my feelings away “Sorry Rosie”.
“Oh, ok. Not to worry” I think I’m in shock, “could you possibly call us a taxi Steve?” how could he just leave like that? no goodbye or anything,
“Yeah course babe” he leaves to make the call and the tears find their release. Pippa and Annie notice and leave the pool to check on me, I feel such an idiot.
“He’s just gone, without a goodbye or anything” I look at Pippa for some pearls of wisdom,
“Rosie are you sure you just didn’t hear him?” Pip asks as I hear Steve coming back and quickly wipe away the tears,
“All booked up?” I ask cheerfully,
“yeah, it’ll be about five minutes gorgeous, I’ll get you girls some towels”
In the taxi back to the hotel I decide to text Jackson,
‘Why didn’t you say goodbye? Don’t be a dick Jackson, just be straight with me. Night x’ I didn’t expect a text back so was surprised when my phone buzzed in my hand,
‘I’m sorry. I’ll call you tomorrow. Night x’ my stomach flips over in response to his reply but I know I need to be careful, his behaviour tonight only reiterates what he has been saying all along, he’s just not the settling down type.
Chapter Twenty Five
“Rosie, wake up babe, it’s nearly eleven” I wake to a bikini clad Pippa shaking me gently and handing me a bottle of water, “You ok, it’s not like you to sleep in?” she’s obviously already spent an hour or two by the pool by the smell of sun oil radiating from her,
“I’m fine Pip, just tired I guess. I’ll get up now” I reach for my phone; there’s nothing on there, no calls or texts. If Jackson did have an early start this morning, he obviously didn’t see the need to get in touch.
After a couple of hours by the pool, Pippa and I are starving and decide to head out for some lunch, I check my phone again and there’s still nothing so I decide to text him,
‘Are you ok? I thought I might have heard from you by now x’ I click send and feel a pang of concern, if he doesn’t respond what exactly does that mean?
We eat at a small Thai café and agree that we should probably go and pack up our things ready for the move to Phi Phi tomorrow. Before we leave the café I check my phone again, but there is no response, Pippa takes my phone from my hand,
“Rosie, give him dead air. He’ll soon come running” she smiles at me, not her usual grin but the shy reassuring hopeful smile of a concerned best friend.
I decide that I will do exactly as she says and turn my phone off. I don’t know why he won’t respond and it’s hard to not hear from him after last night but I know I have to leave him to it. It’s my last day here and I want to go crazy with my best friend before a week of nothing but lying on a beach.
“Come on you, packing first then we’re going out. I need a drink and a dance” I paint on a brave face and Pippa smiles enthusiastically; she knows that I’m breaking inside but she won’t let me see her concern, she throws an arm around my shoulder and we walk back towards the hotel.
Packing doesn’t take long; it’s probably helped along by the two bottles of wine we bought on our way back to the hotel. Once we have rolled up all but our clothes for tonight and tomorrow and shoved everything into our cases it’s time to get ready to go out.
Pippa decides she wants music on but her iPod doesn’t fit the dock in the room so she asks for my phone. I hadn’t thought about my phone in a few hours, the wine and packing being a welcome distraction, but now I felt panicked at the prospect of switching it on. If Jackson has been in touch he may be angry that I’ve ignored him, or he may have text to say he never wants to see me again, the truth is worse, he hasn’t tried to contact me at all. After a moment I pass my phone to Pippa and I can’t stop the tears that fall, I tried so hard to not get involved, not fall for him. I knew that I would get hurt, but I didn’t think that he would just cut me off like this.
Pippa sits down on the bed next to me a
nd hugs me close, “I’m sorry RoRo” there is no more to say and the floodgates are open.
After a few minutes the tears stop, I sit back and look at Pippa, a reassuring glance from her brings me to my senses, “Enough of this shit Pip, put the music on, I need to shake it off”
Pippa has a knack for cheering me up and after about an hour of dancing around the room whilst getting ready, we head out for the nearest cocktail bar. It’s the first time that Pippa has been out since Mr Germany but she’s not fazed and heads straight for the bar.
“The thing is Pip, he is a great shag, and I mean great” I’m fully aware that I am slurring but don’t seem to be able to stop it “that’s a shame, I’ll miss that”
“Oh baby, let’s be honest after Michael it wouldn’t take much to make you come” I am shocked but it’s true and I can’t argue so just raise my glass in agreement.
Pippa and I move on to a bar where we can have a dance, the music is a little cheesy but just what the doctor ordered, we dance for a while before heading to the bar.
“I’m so angry Philippa! Who does he think he is ignoring me like this? I’m going to text him” I take out my phone unsure in my drunken state what to say or if I would even be able to type it, but before I can, I notice one unread message, it’s from Jackson, ‘I’m sorry Rosie x’ I am livid and show it to Pippa with a shocked expression
“WHAT THE FUCK!” I call above the music “he’s fucking sorry, no explanation? What does that even mean?” Pippa takes my phone and threatens to call him “No Pip, let him stew” I put my phone back into my bag and head back to the dance floor, I’m hurting and don’t know why he is pushing me away all of a sudden but I’m not giving in to him just yet.
It’s not very late but we’re already quite drunk and agree to go and get some food to try and sober up a little, we shamefully head for McDonalds and after ordering Pippa makes her dash for the bathroom. I take out my phone and type out a text,
‘Sorry for what Jackson? Leaving me alone in your friend’s house or ignoring me all day today? I thought there was a connection between us but I guess I was wrong’ I hit send and immediately regret it, there’s no reply and I feel stupid once again. When Pippa returns to the table she can tell that my mood has shifted,
“What’s happened?” she asks in a concerned tone,
“I texted him” Pippa tilts her head and looks at me, disappointed “he didn’t reply” she reaches across the table and holds my hand,
“Rosetta, fuck him!”
We head into a bar that is playing a mixture of eighties and nineties pop and as Pippa goes to get us some drinks I feel a familiar vibration coming from my handbag,
‘You weren’t wrong Rosie. I’m sorry for a lot of things x’ I’ve had enough of this, it needs sorting.
“Pippa, are you ok to get back to the hotel? I have to see him” my tone is very matter of fact, I need to get this out of the way tonight,
“Rosie, are you sure that’s a good idea?” she is worried I can see that, but I can’t go on like this
“Yeah, I have to. Even if it’s just to say goodbye” I smile at her to let her know I’m ok and she smiles back and heads out of the bar with me. We share a tuk tuk and drop her back to our hotel before I head off towards Jacksons, unsure what I am going to say and anxious about what he might.
In the elevator ride up to the top floor I decide to just be myself, I won’t be defensive or confrontational, I’ll just go and have a drink and hopefully he’ll open up when he sees me. I walk towards his door and feel nervous to see him after the last twenty four hours, it takes me a moment to compose myself but I soon reach my hand up and knock the door. I wait for a minute or so and am just about to knock again when the door opens,
“Hi” I am silenced when the door is opened by a woman, the blonde woman from Presley’s I think, she is here in Jackson’s room wearing just his shirt, and I can’t speak.
I just step backward in shock.
Chapter Twenty Six
“Jackson, I think it’s for you” Ella calls into the suite and I walk to the door, I’m wearing nothing but some loose fitting trousers but figure room service have probably seen worse. I stop dead in my tracks when I see her, and feel the colour drain from my face
“Rosie, oh god I’m sorry. I didn’t… I mean. Oh god!” I step out into the hallway, “Ella, give us a minute please” she obliges and I closes the door of the suite, “Rosie, I…”
“No don’t! You warned me” she interrupts, her voice is high and fast “I’m so stupid” she says under her breath as she turns to leave,
“Rosie, I’m sorry, I don’t know what to say” I feel sick when I see the tears in her eyes as she turns back to me to respond
“Jackson, enjoy your evening” She walks back down the corridor toward the elevator and I wonder if I should follow. How do I manage to screw everything up? I’m going after her.
“Rosie, wait” I call after her as she presses the button to call the elevator
“Jackson, please don’t. You don’t do commitment, you told me that. I just thought what we had was more than it was. That’s my mistake not yours. Just go back to whoever that is. I should have listened to you” she can’t even look at me, I feel so lost. I want to turn back time to yesterday and do it all differently,
“You don’t understand Rosie, I just…”
She interrupts again “Don’t Jackson. I have to go” The elevator arrives and she steps in. I don’t know what I’m supposed to do; I just step backwards against the wall and watch the tears fall from her eyes as the doors close. I have just lost possibly the best thing that will ever happen to me.
I feel lost, I need to get rid of Ella and get out, and I need to explain to Rosie.
“Ella sweetheart I’m sorry but you have to leave” I’m embarrassed but there’s no point in beating around the bush,
“Was that your girlfriend Jackson?” she’s already put her clothes back on and is getting ready to go,
“No, look I’m really sorry, I never should have invited you round” she smiles and picks up her bag, she walks toward the door,
“Jackson, if you used me to mess with that girl, you’re a prick. I saw the hurt in her eyes and nobody deserves to feel like that” she leaves and I sink into the sofa, what have I done?
I try calling Rosie but not surprisingly her phone is off, I have to see her, I have to explain and apologise, I’ve never been close to a woman in the way I have been to her, it’s scary but the thought of hurting her kills me. I’m going to see her.
I dress quickly and head down to the lobby, my moped is parked up out front and I start it up, I don’t know what I’m going to say when I see her but I set off toward her hotel.
The night receptionist welcomes me as he has every other time that I’ve been here; he doesn’t bat an eyelid as I head into the hotel and toward the elevators. My stomach is in knots and there is a pain in my throat that I’ve never felt before, I step out of the elevator and walk down the corridor toward Rosie’s room and am shocked when the door opens before I’ve knocked, Pippa steps out into the corridor,
“No Jackson, you need to go” she was expecting me and she has no intention of letting me see Rosie “leave!”
“Pippa please, I just want to explain” I plead with her to let me in,
“Explain what Jackson, how you blanked her all day and then fucked someone else? Good fucking luck, I warned you James, I fucking warned you!” Pippa is pacing in front of me like she is trying to control her anger toward me “Rosie isn’t like you and I Jackson, she is good, she believes in romance and love and despite having her heart ripped out and stomped on more than once, she still hopes. You knew that and you fucked her over anyway” the reality of what she is saying takes my breath away and I have to lean against the wall for support,
“Pippa, I don’t know what I can even say, but I can’t just let her go, please” I’m leaning forward with my hands on my knees and looking up toward Pippa, who is no
w leaning against the opposite wall,
“That’s exactly what you will do Jackson. My best friend has just cried her heart out until she passed out from exhaustion and it’s not the first time I’ve seen her do that, I won’t see it again. So you need to leave, and you need to leave her alone. You blew it” she heads back into the room and closes the door and I know knocking again is pointless, she’s right, reluctantly, I leave.
Unable to face the night ahead, I find myself at Presley’s, Steve spots me heads over toward me as soon as I walk into the bar, he knows by the look on my face what’s happened,
“I warned you Jacko” he knew id fuck it up “come on mate, let me get you a beer”
Chapter Twenty Seven
As the speedboat to Phi Phi pulls away from the pier there’s a sadness in me that I can’t hide. I thought I had found a connection with Jackson that I never expected to find in anyone, but now, as I leave him behind I realise that I’m probably never going to have the kind of love that I so long for. Pippa wraps her arms around me, offering the comfort that only a best friend can and we watch as Ao Nang fades into the distance.
“It’s alright baby girl, you’ll be ok” Pippa is her usual caring self and it soothes me more than she knows.
As we travel towards Phi Phi the warm sea air in my face brightens my mood, I feel relieved to be away from Jackson, and to be able to devote nine days to Pippa, with no distractions. As we approach Phi Phi don the speed boat driver points out long beach to us, we have to go to the main pier and take a long tail boat from there. It looks perfect, white sand, turquoise sea and a spattering of beach huts, the beach isn’t crowded and my stomach flutters at the beauty of the place and the excitement of spending time there, doing nothing.
The main pier is crowded with boats and tourists all over, the majority of people that I sea look like typical gap year students bustling around looking for the nearest bar. Our speedboat driver directs us to a long tail boat and asks the driver to take us to long beach; we thank him and climb into the boat. It’s certainly an experience as it bounces and bangs along on top of the waves.
Meeting Mr Write Page 10