Ravaged (Vampire Awakenings, Book 7)

by Brenda K. Davies

  “I don’t know, but I know someone I can ask if you want me to?”

  Maggie bit her lip and turned to gaze out the window. She’d love nothing more than to remain in blissful ignorance of everything, but unless she asked Aiden to wipe her memory, she couldn’t stick her head in the sand.

  “Yes,” she said. “I want to know.”

  “I’ll call as soon as we’re settled.”

  “Okay.”

  She realized he’d pulled over near Fenway. From where she sat, she could see the Citgo gas sign. The streets here were busier with people wandering the stores and bars.

  “Baseball season starts soon,” she murmured as she watched a woman hustling her child across the street toward a deli. “A.J. and I came to Fenway every opening day from the time we were twelve on. If we couldn’t get tickets for the game, we’d hang out and soak up the atmosphere. There’s nothing better than the smell of hot dogs cooking, the crack of a bat on the ball, and the cheers of the crowd. When we got older, we would sit in the bars and celebrate with everyone else. A.J. could always get the best fake ID’s.”

  Maggie dragged a hand through her hair as she pulled herself from her strange reverie. When she focused on Aiden again, she noted the clench of his jaw, but his hand remained gentle on her thigh.

  “What happened to A.J.?” he asked.

  Maggie glanced at Blue. She hadn’t wanted to tell him anything about her when he was so unwilling to talk about himself, but now that she’d opened this box of memories, much like Pandora, she couldn’t close it again.

  “He made the mistake of getting in his car and driving at the same time a stupid kid decided planning his seventeenth birthday, via text, was more important than not killing someone.” Maggie had worked through most of her grief, but the lump in her throat made talking difficult. “The kid survived; A.J. died on his way to the hospital. At one time, that knowledge infuriated me. I wanted to kill the boy myself, but I’ve mostly gotten past that.”

  She said this, but she heard the bitterness in her voice as she revealed this to Aiden. “I’ve stopped wishing it had been the other way around and A.J. survived, but occasionally I wonder what would have happened if the kid had been smart enough not to use his phone or to at least look up a few seconds before the crash.” She didn’t doubt A.J. would have a child by now, and she would have been a kick-ass aunt.

  “However, the lack of skid marks on the teen’s side of the road revealed he never realized he’d switched lanes and was driving head-on at someone. A.J. saw because he’d braked and jerked the wheel. The kid didn’t know his life was about to change forever; A.J. watched his death coming at him.”

  “I’m sorry for your loss,” Aiden said. Jealousy seethed within him when she spoke of A.J., her love for the man was obvious, and he could never compete with a ghost. However, her sorrow tore at him, and he would give anything to take it from her.

  “I once heard someone say, ‘Life sucks get a helmet.’ It’s something I tell myself every time something bad happens. I strapped my helmet on really young. It’s dented, scratched, and it’s almost broken a few times, but it’s kept me going. Things can always be worse. I know, they’ve been worse for me. They’ve also been better, but every day I take a moment to find something good in all the bad.”

  Of course, she’d never expected to have vamp DNA tossed into her mixing bowl of lemons, but it might also explain some other facets of her life. Facets she’d never realized required explaining.

  Aiden released her knee and brushed back a strand of her silken hair. His finger lingered on her cheek until her charcoal eyes lifted to his. He didn’t see bitterness in her gaze, only a steely resolve to face every day with a determination many didn’t possess.

  From what he’d learned about her life, some would have been broken by it, others would have become bitter, but Maggie had chosen to be strengthened by it. Drawing her closer, he kissed her forehead. Now was not the time for anything more than the briefest of kisses, but he needed to connect with her.

  “Is what happened to A.J. the reason you became a paramedic?” he inquired when he sat back again. He lowered his hand to cup her nape and leisurely ran his thumb over her silken skin.

  “I became a paramedic because I can handle the sight of blood and gore better than most people. I saved a woman’s life one day, and Roger happened to be working on the ambulance called to the scene. When Roger saw how I handled the woman, he took me under his wing and helped me get through my EMT and paramedic training. I enjoy helping people, but no, I didn’t look to this field because of A.J. I was already four months into my training when A.J. died.”

  “Were you still dating A.J. when he died?”

  “No.” Maggie glanced out the window again. “He was my first everything from kiss to sex, but more than that, he was my first best friend. For years, he was my only friend, and I was the same for him. I think we only started dating because we had no one else and because we did love each other so very much.”

  She focused on Aiden again. “Being together seemed like the next logical step when we were all we had. Growing up, we were both bounced through numerous foster homes, group homes, and anywhere the state could find a place for us. We’d be split up, only to rejoin two weeks or months later. From the time we were sixteen on, we lived in the same group home while we waited to turn eighteen.

  “I think we both worried we’d lose the other if we didn’t progress into a dating relationship, or at least I know I feared losing him. We started dating when we were seventeen, but by the time we were eighteen, we realized it wasn’t us. We were better friends than lovers. There was no big breakup, no tears, we simply went back to the way things were supposed to be for us, and we were happy with it.

  “After we turned eighteen, we lived together for a while as roomies. When A.J. died, he’d been preparing to ask his girlfriend to marry him. I went with him two days before the accident to pick out the ring, and I hid it away until he was ready to propose. I gave her the ring after his funeral.”

  A single tear streaked down her cheek, and she wiped it away. “I dated a few guys after we broke up, but nothing serious. I’ve always been a bit of a loner and fine with being single. Once I started EMT school, I became focused on my studies and getting through my training.”

  Aiden drew her closer to hold her against his chest. When she turned her face into his neck, her warm breath tickled his throat as she leaned into him. He had no idea what he’d done to be rewarded with a mate like her. It certainly hadn’t been anything good as he’d been on a one-way, self-destruct mission for years, but whatever it was, he vowed to become worthy of her if she joined him. There would be no more dented helmets for Maggie; there would only be love and security.

  “I will keep you safe,” he vowed.

  “Why?” she asked, pulling back to look at him. “Why do you care what happens to me? Why don’t you change my memories and move on from me? You said you’re going to protect me because you got me into this, but I’m sure you could figure out some way to make me forget everything I’ve learned and still protect me. You and your friends managed a pretty big cover-up last night.”

  He didn’t know how to answer her. He had a feeling she’d bolt if he started talking about eternity and vampirism, but he couldn’t lie to her either. A hand thumped down on the hood of the car, causing Maggie to jump.

  Aiden turned to find a young man standing in front of the car with his hand resting on the hood. The man grinned and waved to Maggie. “Heeeyyy beautiful,” the kid slurred and flexed his biceps.

  When Aiden glowered at him, the kid was sober enough his smile faded, and he stepped away from the car. A few of the kid’s friends ran up, laughing as they rushed past the front of the car. They all wore the same emblem on their sweaters.

  “College kids,” Maggie muttered and shook her head. “Probably still drunk from last night and continuing the party. You’d think they’d be smarter and do some sobering up before going out in publi
c.”

  Aiden’s gaze following them as they jumped on each other and high-fived. Theirs was a life he’d once enjoyed with his high school friends and during his brief college time. It felt like it had been years ago and the life of a different man.

  Shifting the car into drive, he pulled away from the curb and onto the busy street. Thankfully, Maggie seemed to have forgotten her question as she gazed out the window.

  CHAPTER 24

  Aiden hung up the phone and looked over to where Maggie was carefully pouring some bottled water into the fishbowl. The blue fish flitted happily to the top before settling against the white rocks at the bottom with a swish of his tail.

  Maggie recapped the bottle and set it on the hotel dresser. He’d taken her to a hotel in Quincy near the ocean. They were far enough away from Maggie’s apartment and Carha’s place, no one would think to look for them here. But they weren’t so far he couldn’t return to help the others if it became necessary.

  Taking a deep breath, Maggie turned to face him. She didn’t speak as she waited for him to tell her what else he’d learned during his call to Ronan.

  “I didn’t reveal it was about you when I asked him, but Ronan confirmed there have been children of vampires and humans before,” he told her.

  “I’m sure he’s already figured out why you asked him,” she murmured.

  “Most likely.”

  “What were those children like?”

  “According to Ronan, the combination of a human and a vampire doesn’t happen often. Most of these children live normal, human lives while others differ in certain ways. They may be stronger and faster, or healthier than other people. I can testify you’re damn fast.”

  Her mouth pursed, and Aiden sensed his words had struck a nerve, but when she didn’t speak, he continued. “Ronan also said some of those children choose to be turned later in life. I’m assuming the ones who decided to change were aware of their heritage. Once turned, those half children can be stronger than an average turned vamp, but not as strong as a purebred vampire.”

  “I see,” she murmured, and her gaze went past him to the curtained window. He didn’t understand the pensive expression on her face, but he had a feeling she was sorting through something in her mind.

  His gaze fell on the slender column of her throat before darting away. His fingers dug into his thighs as he fought the impulse to take her and claim her as his mate, but he remained where he was. She’d been through enough without him heaping the mate thing on her today. He would tell her eventually, but he would wait until she was ready.

  He dug his fingers deeper into his flesh when his skin prickled with the compulsion to feel pain and his fangs throbbed for blood. Whereas before these impulses had nearly sent him over the edge, now they were mild cravings he could handle with Maggie near him.

  You will control this! She is more important than you.

  He’d seen his parents’ relationship, his siblings with their mates, and David with his. He’d always known what a mate did for and to a vampire, but now, experiencing it, he’d never truly realized how much his mate would mean to him. It was more than Maggie being able to calm him in ways pain, blood, death, and sex never had; it was also that he liked and admired her. She’d weathered much in her life, and in the past day, but she hadn’t allowed it to destroy her.

  His parents, siblings, and David were all deeply in love with their mates. He’d hoped to find the same, but there was no guarantee love would come with the bond. He didn’t love Maggie, but he knew it would be easy to fall in love with her.

  “When I was a baby, I was very sickly,” she said, and her eyes came back to his. “I was placed with a family as soon as I was born. They were going to adopt me. They were so excited to have a baby they were willing to overlook the possible insanity lurking in my genes.”

  A sickly child seemed against what Ronan had told him, but no one knew everything for sure, not even Ronan the oldest vampire in existence. “What happened to them?” he inquired.

  “I don’t know. Their names weren’t listed in my records, only the history of my time spent with them. They were willing to overlook the possibility I might one day stab and kill someone, but they hadn’t signed up for a sick child. They kept me for three months, but after numerous doctor appointments where no one could figure out what was wrong with me, they wiped their hands of me and gave me back to the state. I do know they named me Coraline while they had me, but when they gave me back, my name reverted to the name my mother gave me, Magdalene.”

  “Your mother named you?”

  “Yes. Apparently, she had a few minutes of lucidity after my birth. She told the social worker to call me Magdalene because I was a blessing who came from the worst of sins. She also hoped one day my soul could be redeemed instead of remaining pure evil. You know, because being a baby and all, I was more evil than a killer clown on acid playing the bagpipes.”

  “That is pretty evil.”

  “It’s worse than the devil. Anyway, my mother didn’t want to name me Mary Magdalene because Jesus’s mother was Mary and she was pure while I was evil incarnate, but Magdalene was good enough for her daughter. The social worker documented this conversation in detail. I don’t know why; maybe they were trying to understand her or something.”

  “Your mother was wrong. No child has to be redeemed, and no baby is evil.”

  “I know, but vampire or not, my father was a vicious rapist. That DNA is in me. If I could cut it out of me, I would, but it’s as much a tapestry of my life as all those foster homes, A.J., Roger, and my mother.”

  Aiden didn’t know what to say. He’d never been good with words. Maybe Ian, with all his smooth ways, would know how to respond. Jack would sniff and say fuck that, Vicky would get her drunk, and his mother, Isabelle, and Abby would offer comfort, but he had nothing to give her other than the truth.

  “From what I’ve seen of you, Magdalene, your father is a tiny piece of the tapestry. His actions helped to create you, but you’ve forged yourself into someone who doesn’t take joy in being cruel to others. You’ve used the circumstances of your life to make you stronger rather than weaker. Many wouldn't have done the same. Your father gave you the beginnings of life, but nothing else of himself.”

  Tears pricked her eyes at his words. After a few deep breaths, she felt capable of speaking again.

  “Since my mother has never revealed her name, she’s always been known as Jane Doe. I became Magdalene Doe when I returned to the state. Over the years, I saw numerous doctors, but none of them could pinpoint why I had such a difficult time gaining weight, growing, cried often, was extremely pale, and anemic. I think they believed I would die, but I’ve never seen any documentation of that.

  “When I was three, I started getting a little better. The state tried adopting me out again when I was four, but I wasn’t healthy enough. There were still too many doctors involved, so they sent me back. I went through some foster homes, but most foster parents don’t want to deal with a sick kid either. When I was nine, I started feeling a lot better.”

  “What caused the change?”

  Maggie fiddled with the edge of her shirt as she recalled events she’d always preferred to forget. “I went to a foster home with a woman who was incredibly sweet, but she had this nasty, drunk bastard for a husband. I know some people have these atrocious stories of foster homes, but out of the many I lived in, this was my only really awful experience with one.”

  Aiden’s teeth ground together. “What happened?”

  “His favorite pastime was using her as a punching bag when he was drunk. He never touched the kids in their care, that could lead to a mess he was too cowardly to wade into, and he needed the money we brought, but he would beat her until she couldn’t scream for him to stop. I think her screams were what excited him.

  “Often, I would hide under my bed with some of the other foster kids. I was the eldest out of them, the one they looked to for protection. I had no idea what I would do if he
ever came at one of us. He was two hundred fifty pounds of pissed off, alcohol-fueled rage, but I vowed I’d do whatever it took to keep him from hitting one of them.”

  “Did he come after you?” He didn’t kill humans. It would start the stench of rot on him as it did with the Savages, but he’d make an exception if this man were still alive.

  “No, not really,” Maggie said. “He beat her so bad once she couldn’t get out of bed for a week. During that time, he informed me I would be making the meals. I’d never cooked a day in my life, but I’d watched others do it enough to know at least a little. I made simple meals, sandwiches, cereal, spaghetti, mac and cheese before he demanded steak. So, I cooked us all steak. Except, I didn’t cook it enough.

  “Infuriated with my inability to cook it properly, and screaming about wasting his money, he forced me to eat one of the raw steaks with all the blood seeping out of it. The steaks weren’t ruined, I could have cooked them longer, but without his wife to abuse, he started to turn on me.”

  Aiden sat up straighter on the bed as he recalled the steak she’d devoured last night. He’d never seen a human eat a steak so rare before.

  “What happened?” he asked.

  “At first, I cried. I couldn’t help it. It was so gross with all the blood and so red. I didn’t know how to cook steak, but I knew it shouldn’t look like that. I was afraid I’d get some parasite or disease or something; I was more terrified of him and what he would do to me if I didn’t eat it. With him standing over my shoulder, breathing down my neck and grinning at me while he smoked a cigarette and chugged his vodka, I started eating.

  “I choked down the first five bites before realizing I liked it. My reaction wasn’t normal, but I didn’t care. Before I was halfway through the steak, I tossed aside my silverware and started using my hands. When I finished, I began to eat one of the other steaks with the same enthusiasm. I felt consumed by this insatiable, animalistic hunger for more.

  “My foster siblings looked on in revulsion, as did the man. When I lifted the plate to my mouth to drink the blood off it, he tore it away from me, slapped me across the face, and sent me to my room with the perfect imprint of his hand already bruising my cheek.”