by J. M. Colail
As he stepped inside, Jack was washing his hands.
“Now can you tell me why you’re avoiding me?”
Jack looked up, giving the young man a stern look. He took a paper towel, dried his hands and then proceeded to open all the stall doors to check if anyone was inside. Luckily they were all empty. Lucas understood he had been careless, and his shoulders slumped.
“I’m sorry….”
“No, you’re not,” Jack answered, with clear amusement in his voice.
When Lucas looked at the older man he saw Jack was smiling. “Why do I feel like we’ve had this conversation before?”
“Well, if you stop apologizing for things you’re clearly not sorry for, then we can stop having this conversation.”
Lucas took a step closer to the American. Come on, you’re both adults, can’t you have an adult conversation about this? “I tried to contact you, talk about…” Lucas’s voice was unsteady all of a sudden. “…things.”
“I’ve had a very busy week, Lucas. First time I was at the office for longer than it took me to change my jacket was this afternoon. I….”
“You had my cell phone number. Gertje did give it to you?”
Jack nodded, but since Lucas was still looking at the wall over his shoulder rather than at him, he added, “Yes, but not until a few hours ago. I was going to….”
“You were going to call me on Monday, right?” Lucas sighed and then looked defiantly straight into Jack’s eyes. “You probably figured this was business?”
Jack shook his head, taken aback a bit by Lucas’s aggressive tone.
“Fine, let’s treat this as a negotiation. Negotiations always work best when both parties are open and honest toward each other. So why don’t we call a spade a spade, then. Why don’t you explain to me what happened in your kitchen?”
Jack shushed him “Keep your voice down, we are in a public place.”
“Is this what you and Maria get off on?” Lucas answered now in a much lower tone. “You seduce young men in front of her and then she needs to win you back?”
“I wasn’t seducing you!” Jack rebutted, also trying not to talk too loud. He pointed at Lucas, “You put your hand on my hand. You made the first move.” The American stepped back and leaned against the partition between two stalls.
Lucas, having regained a bit of his composure, was a lot calmer now. “I couldn’t help myself. I wanted to show you that you mean a lot to me.” He averted his eyes and slightly shook his head. “I wanted to tell you that I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I didn’t have any hope that you would return the feelings. I mean you being married and all…. But then you didn’t take your hand away and you looked at me with those eyes of yours and….”
Lucas looked up at Jack, who was now looking at him, his face soft and his eyes wide, his hand reaching out. He took a tentative step forward and then slowly lifted his hand to touch Jack’s.
Jack cleared his throat. “When you were finishing the dessert, I couldn’t help but touch you. You were so close to me, smelling of peppermint and wine and…. I was glad there was a counter in front of us, because I would have given away some things our women wouldn’t have understood. It wasn’t until later that I realized that if you had reacted to my touch, we would both have been in a lot of trouble.”
Lucas could feel Jack’s hand pulling him closer. Instead he turned into the cubicle and pulled Jack along with him, pushing the older man with his back against the partition. With his free hand, he snapped the latch on the door, giving them a semblance of privacy. He then leaned forward to whisper, “I was glad for the counter too, because what you were doing to my back with that hand of yours….” He lightly kissed Jack’s temple then leaned his head against the older man, pressing his body against him as well. He could feel Jack’s free hand tentatively moving across his back, just like that first time in the kitchen, and Lucas almost moaned when that hand retraced their first real touch.
Lucas’s right hand and Jack’s left hadn’t parted since their first contact here in the men’s room, but now Lucas could feel Jack moving his hand to gently cradle his head. Their lips were almost touching. He could feel Jack’s heat radiating off him and his breath ghosting across his face. There was a moment’s hesitance when they looked into each other’s eyes, and then Lucas felt himself being pulled into a kiss. Chaste at first, just their lips touching, he could feel Jack open up to him slowly but surely. He could feel the hunger rising in the older man and responded by eagerly sucking on the American’s lower lip.
At that moment, Jack pulled away as much as he could, pinned between Lucas and the partition, panting.
Lucas, feeling confused, somewhere between rejection and awkwardness, tried to give him a bit more space, but Jack wrapped his arms around his lean frame and pulled him close to his chest. “Oh God, Lucas, I didn’t mean to push you away. I’m just…. Please tell I’m not making a huge mistake here, that what I feel is real and not some delusion.”
The Brit ground his body against Jack’s. “Does this feel real enough to you?” He felt some of the tension flood away under Jack’s tight grip so he pulled his head back and smiled. “Ever since that night at the embassy… I just never figured you….”
Jack pulled him into a desperate kiss again, this time hungry and unbridled. Lucas could feel the American’s tongue in his mouth and gave into him completely, pulling away after what seemed like forever, partly to catch his breath but also because he felt his body reacting to the other man’s growing arousal. “If we don’t stop now, I don’t think I could stop before….”
Jack let go of the Brit, chuckling. “Yeah, I know….”
They were standing, leaning against opposite walls of the cubicle, still holding hands, almost afraid to let go, but eventually they ended up moving away from the wall together to step outside.
“I’ll go first,” Lucas offered, “See if the coast is clear.”
“Yeah…,” Jack said softly, close to him. “I hope no one walked in here, because I don’t know how quiet we were.”
First Lucas and then Jack stepped out of the cramped stall and checked their appearance in the mirrors on the opposite side of the men’s room.
Lucas looked over at Jack. “Hang on….” He moved behind the American and pulled at the bottom of his jacket, then wiped his hands across Jack’s shoulders.
“Thanks, Maria….” Jack’s quip startled Lucas. “She always does that too, I’m sorry….”
“No, you’re not,” Lucas answered, now smiling lopsidedly as he straightened his tie and tucked down his own jacket.
Both men smiled as they walked out into the outside world again.
“OH, AND I thought it was just us ladies who couldn’t go to the little girl’s room alone.”
The two men turned upon hearing Maria’s mocking tone and saw the women standing against the outside wall of the men’s room.
“Lucy saw you two disappear in there and so we decided to wait here to tell you the news.”
“Yeah, and you two took forever,” Lucy added, rolling her eyes.
“So what’s the news?” Jack asked.
“Lucy and I are going to spend next weekend in Amsterdam. It’s about time she saw a bit of Europe. She’s been here almost a year, and I can’t believe, Lucas, that you haven’t taken her anywhere.”
Lucas felt his heart leap out of his chest. A weekend alone with Jack. He looked over at Jack who was staring back at him, giving him one of his poker faces.
Maria slid her arms underneath her husband’s. “Don’t look so worried, dear, I won’t max out my credit card.” She stretched her arm out to Lucy who came closer as well, in turn taking Lucas’s hand. “And I promise I’ll keep Lucy away from temptation as well. Besides I’m sure you two have some guy things to do which, now, what was it you said the other night? ‘Which us girls would find boring.’” She was feigning innocence but Jack knew the comment was anything but that.
Lucas saw a smile break on Jack’
s face. “Yeah, I’m sure we can keep each other occupied.”
Chapter Eight
WITH THE President declaring they were no longer at war, the work for the Embassy in Belgium was really only just starting. The Belgian government had always been rather vocal in their opposition to the war, and now that a peace-keeping mission was being assembled to help rebuild the ravaged country, this stance was by no means toned down. Together with France and Germany, they blatantly refused to add troops to the International Armed Forces, and Jack almost felt like he was constantly meeting with the Prime Minister and the Defense Minister on this matter. The whole situation didn’t look good, since NATO headquarters were situated in this country, and Jack had been given precise orders: make them take America’s side in this conflict.
The fact that Jack didn’t agree with his government’s point of view didn’t help. It wasn’t the first time this had happened, and he knew very well that his own feelings on the matter were completely unimportant.
There was one upside to this, though. The British Prime Minister had stuck his nose in and had promised British help. Normally this would fall on the shoulders of the British Ambassador, but since he had been given an extended vacation, his Deputy Head of Mission was in charge. As taking on both jobs was a little much even for a competent man like Sean Gallagher, Jack hoped he could ask for Lucas’s help on this.
In the car on his way from SHAPE, the Supreme Headquarters Allied Powers Europe, going back to the Embassy, Jack couldn’t keep his mind on the papers he wanted to review. The crisis at the European Union over the war had kept him busy all weekend, but now for some reason, his mind kept wandering to what had happened at the exhibition opening on Friday. Kissing and touching Lucas had felt good, for sure. But was it the right thing to do? The young Brit clearly had less apprehension about the encounter then he did. Lucas was probably more experienced or felt less guilty about being unfaithful to his girl.
Jack kicked himself for thinking too much, but was it right for him to lust after a man? He had denied these feelings in himself for most of his adult life, so why was it so hard now?
Maria loved him, in her own no-nonsense, no-frills way. He didn’t doubt that for even a moment. She was a wonderful wife, the kind of strong woman that he needed, someone who took care of all the decisions in the relationship when Jack was tired from all the choices he had to make every minute of his working life. It was nice to come home to a warm house, to a partner who had her own life, who never nagged him for working late or forgetting to make time for her, but who was somehow always there for him.
The only thing missing was passion. She never made his blood run faster, never made his heart skip a beat. In fact, he could probably do without sleeping with her, and if it wasn’t for her seducing him from time to time, they would probably have a nonexistent sex life.
Then Lucas walked into his life and he was smitten. From the first moment he laid eyes on the beautiful young Brit, something had happened inside him that he couldn’t explain. He clearly remembered Lucas’s firm handshake, the bright look in his eyes, and the overt confidence that could so easily be mistaken for arrogance if it wasn’t for the disarming smile and boyish nonchalance.
Somehow he couldn’t keep his hands off the man, and even though they had only kissed—and what a kiss!—he truly lusted after Lucas. Even before that exciting first contact, Jack had imagined what it would feel like to have him in his arms, to feel their naked skin touch, to make love to him….
Jack asked his driver to close the partition between them. He wanted to call Lucas on his cell phone and that clearly required a little privacy.
It took a few rings for the call to be picked up.
“Hey there. Can you talk?” Jack asked in a subdued voice.
Lucas’s voice sounded bright, but a little strange. “Mr. Ambassador, how nice of you to call!”
“Lucas?” Jack asked a little taken aback. “Listen, I’ll call back if….”
“Oh no, sir, we were just talking about how close our embassies would have to work together on the European situation and….”
Jack smiled. There was clearly someone in the room with Lucas who had to be made aware of what a good job he was doing liaising with the Americans. In all likelihood, it would be Gallagher. This made him smile wider, since he knew the British second-in-command quite well from a rather traumatic year when they’d both worked for their respective Embassies in Beirut. Now Jack wanted to know how well Lucas could think on his feet.
“Well, I was thinking about our plans for the weekend…,” Jack tried, his voice soft.
“Yes, of course sir, I was thinking about the very same thing.” He could almost see Lucas nod at his boss and fidget in his chair.
“Were you thinking about what you were going to do to me on the two nights our women will be gone?”
Silence. Talk to me, Lucas. I want to hear your voice. Jack’s voice was soft and seductive. “Come on, Luke, show me what you’re made of. Can’t tell me what you want to say, eh?”
“I would if I could… sir,” Lucas answered in a strong voice, “but it’s not British policy.”
“Not British policy to talk about sex or not British policy to tell your boss, who’s obviously in the room with you, that you’ve gone a bit overboard liaising with the Americans?”
Again a short silence, before, “I’m afraid, sir, I will have to discuss this with my superior before I can give you a conclusive answer on that.”
Jack could almost hear Lucas smile and was glad he hadn’t taken his last comment too seriously.
“I didn’t think we went too far on Friday, Lucas, I hope….”
“No, sir, I agree we didn’t overdo it. I think the other party showed the appropriate response to my overture.”
“So how do you want to play this weekend?” Jack asked, amused at how professional Lucas sounded.
“I think we should up the stakes, sir. Test the waters a bit first, of course, see how the opposing faction reacts. Small steps at first, until they bite, and then I’ll reel them in. How does that sound… sir?”
Oh dear, Lucas was truly good at this. Jack never realized he could get turned on by a young man calling him sir and by talk of negotiations, even though he knew that wasn’t really what the Brit was saying.
“Why don’t you drop by the office this afternoon? With a little luck I’ll be there for the rest of the day,” Jack asked hesitantly.
“Yes sir, I agree we should talk strategy as soon as possible. I will join you this afternoon.”
LUCAS CLOSED his cell phone and looked at the stern fair-haired man at the opposite side of the desk.
“Christensen?” Gallagher asked, looking at Lucas over the top of his rimless glasses.
“Yes, sir,” Lucas answered, hopeless at hiding his smile.
“Competent chap,” the consul-general admitted, “but remember your place, Carlton. We Brits are there to lend support, if necessary guide the Americans, but not dominate them. You are by all means his subordinate and you should act accordingly. He is a much more experienced player in this game and there’s a lot you could learn from him.”
I’m sure the feeling is mutual, Lucas thought.
A smile appeared on the more seasoned diplomat’s face. “We go way back, Christensen and I. Got bombed out of the hotel we were running negotiations from in Beirut. Was a close call, that.” Sean Gallagher was obviously remembering those times with some fondness. “Now, back to business. Carlton, even if these negotiations with the Belgians about the war fail, don’t forget that although it may be a small country, we have important trade relations with them and we can’t afford to lose those, so make sure you leave the table as friends, okay?”
Lucas nodded, his thoughts about a ten minute walk away.
ABOUT AN hour later Lucas walked past the American security guard and up to the Ambassador’s office.
“He’s been expecting you,” Gertje told him with a wink as she walked around her desk to
open the door for him. “Tell him I’ll hold his calls.”
Lucas kissed her hand, which made her blush terribly, and entered the office.
Jack sat behind his desk, papers literally everywhere. There were deep lines on his forehead and he was frowning incessantly. “This is an asinine country. They’re one of the world’s biggest small arms dealers, but they’re against going to war.”
Lucas moved a stack of papers and leaned against Jack’s desk. “Yes, makes it interesting, doesn’t it?”
Jack couldn’t help but smile. It never ceased to amaze him how calm and collected the young man could be, unless of course, Lucas felt he was being watched. Then he could turn into this fidgety, stammering teenager who didn’t know where to put his hands. Not now though. While they were alone, in the privacy of the office, Lucas was effortlessly calm and this rubbed off on Jack. He gently placed his hand on the young man’s thigh.
“I missed you this weekend. I’m glad you could come by.”
Lucas smiled as he looked out of the window behind Jack. “Well, I had the perfect excuse. Sean thinks we should plan strategy, and who am I to argue with my boss?”
Jack loved how the summer light played with his lover’s olive skin and chestnut curls. Was this real? Was this young man becoming his lover? Or was the kiss just a tease, a trial thing that wasn’t to be repeated? He hoped not, so he got up from his comfortable chair and moved in between Lucas and the light. “I’m still glad you could come by, excuse or not. I played our kiss back over and over again in my mind.”
Lucas simply smiled, uncrossed his ankles and spread his knees, inviting Jack to move closer to him. Just as Lucas moved his arm around Jack and touched his lower back to pull him closer, a short double knock on the door made Jack step back and away from Lucas.