by J. M. Colail
Gertje walked in, her eyes on the contents of a folder she was carrying. “I found another bit of information from your predecessor, Mr. Christensen. Memos and minutes from meetings he had with the French Ambassador and with our Ambassador to France about arms dealing to the Middle East.”
Jack walked over to her and accepted the folder, nodding to her, “Thank you, Mrs. Claessens,” and then, hoping she would take the hint, “You are holding my calls, yes?”
“Of course, sir,” she answered, smiling enigmatically as she exited his office.
Jack walked back over to where Lucas was still sitting patiently on the edge of the desk. “Now, where were we?”
Lucas grabbed him again and pulled him closer, this time a little more forcefully. There was nothing hesitant about how their lips locked now. Jack could feel his heartbeat speed up as he was turned on by the determination of the man he was kissing. Lucas’s hands pulled their bodies close together, and he could feel the other man’s arousal grind against his own growing bulge. He knew they would have to stop; that they couldn’t do this in the office where it would be just a matter of time before they got caught, but it felt so good he didn’t want to let go. It was finally Lucas who pulled away. His eyes were dark and his hair was tousled to Jack’s surprise, as this could only have been his doing. He pulled his fingers away from the soft curls that twined so eagerly around them and took a deep breath, still looking into Lucas’s dark brown eyes as he rested his forehead against the younger man’s. They both chuckled softly.
Just at that moment, there was another knock on the door. Jack turned a little and dropped into his chair, then quickly turned and tucked his legs under his desk as Gertje walked in with a tray. Lucas tried to look careless as he picked up a piece of paper next to him.
“I figured since you two men don’t know how to take care of yourselves, I would have to do it for you, so I brought coffee, tea and cake. Makes working all the more pleasant, don’t you think?”
“Thank you,” both men answered simultaneously. They had the hardest time not breaking out in laughter until she placed the tray on the small side table and left. As soon as she was gone they let it out.
“We are playing with fire, man,” Lucas started, his hand in front of his mouth. “You’re all flushed and your lips…” He bent down and loosely placed a kiss on Jack’s lips. “…look recently kissed too.”
“Well, it’s not like you could stand up and turn around without looking…” Jack gazed at Lucas’s crotch area. “…like you were standing at attention.”
Lucas’s face turned a little more serious as he placed his hand on Jack’s. “So why don’t I get us a hotel room on Friday? You think you can get away from the Secret Service?”
Jack stopped laughing too. “Yeah, I’m sure I can. It’s not like I’m the President. I can go to the bathroom without them checking the men’s room first.”
“Four more days,” Lucas sighed.
“Yeah, ehm, Lucas….” How was he going to tell the young man?
“What? You want to back out of this?” Lucas asked a little apprehensively.
“No!” Jack was quick to answer. “No, it’s not that, I…. Never mind. It’ll all work itself out in the end.”
Lucas got up and bent down to kiss Jack again. “Yeah, lover. I’m sure it will.”
Jack was reluctant to let go of the beautiful Brit. “You have to go, right?”
“Yeah,” Lucas answered, “since it’s clear we’re not going to get any work done here.”
Jack watched him walk toward the small table, pick up the two cups, and walk back to bring Jack his coffee. He then drank the now lukewarm tea in one swig, put the cup down and winked as he turned around to grab the door handle. He playfully threw Jack a kiss before he walked out.
Four more days.
Chapter Nine
“SO ARE you all packed to go?” Jack inquired over morning coffee in his kitchen.
Maria was reading the New York Times. “Mmh, most of it.”
“When’s the train leave?” Jack tried to ask casually, sipping from his mug of coffee, hoping he didn’t sound too eager.
“Around eleven thirty. Driver’s picking me up after he drops you off and picks up Lucy,” Maria answered while flicking the pages.
“When will you be back then? Sunday, right?” Jack again tried to sound casual, more like he was going to miss her than like he wanted to be home… alone… and showered… when she came in.
“Sometime in the afternoon. I think the train arrives at the Midi around three-thirty. Driver will pick me up again.”
Jack made a mental note of the arrival time and tried to look at her over the rim of his mug in such a way she wouldn’t notice. Tonight he was meeting Lucas in some hotel room in Antwerp, and he felt a pang of guilt. What was he doing? Maria was the best wife a diplomat could have. Undemanding but independent, smart, beautiful, loyal. Loyal… not like him. He couldn’t even contemplate what would happen if she found out. If she found out he was not working with Lucas this weekend, but screwing Lucas. How could he ever explain to her that Lucas did things to him that she had never been able to do, and he hadn’t even slept with him?
“Hey sleepy head. Snap out of it. Jack?”
As he looked up Maria was standing in front of him. He had clearly been deep in thought. “Sorry.”
Maria walked off toward the hallway and Jack could hear her mutter, “I swear sometimes that man is so far out of it….”
As he realized it was almost time to leave, he jumped up and followed her. “Maire!”
Catching up with her in the hallway, he gave her a hug from behind and a kiss on the neck. “Have a great time in Amsterdam.”
She turned around and gave him a quick kiss on the lips. “Don’t work too hard this weekend. I know you’re both workaholics, but try to make sure you see a bed from time to time, okay?”
As he saw the genuine concern in her eyes, it hit him again. After this weekend, he would know if it was worthwhile to cheat on her.
It wasn’t until she was out of the hallway and up to the bedroom that her words hit him. Try to make sure you see a bed from time to time….
ALL DAY long Jack had a hard time focusing. He had arranged with Lucas that the Brit would book the hotel rooms. One fancy hotel suite in Jack’s name, where they could set up “an office,” and a smaller hotel room as Lucas’s cover. Jack had been tempted to call Lucas all day, just to hear his voice, to see if he was excited, to check if they were still on. Then he got a text message, “Antwerp Hilton old city centre exec suite your name be there B4 6pm.”
This was really going to happen.
THE KNOCK on the door was so quiet, Lucas wasn’t even sure it had happened, so he waited.
There it was again. A single, shy, almost hesitant knock.
Lucas was on the other side of the door waiting, so when he abruptly opened it, Jack’s hand was still in midair. He looked more vulnerable, smaller than Lucas remembered him. There was very little evidence that this was a powerful, decisive man. Even the suit that always looked tailor made seemed to fit him less than perfectly. The porter had brought his bags up a few minutes earlier, and Lucas, posing as the perfect assistant, had told the man where he wanted them and tipped him generously.
They stood there for a moment, neither of them sure what to do next, until Lucas stepped aside to let Jack into the hotel room. He brushed his hand against Jack’s when he passed, but the older man walked on toward the window without acknowledging the contact.
“I’m glad you found it. I was worried you might not…”
“Your directions were very good,” Jack interrupted flatly.
“…come,” Lucas concluded, lowering his head, his hand still on the open door.
“Maybe you should shut the door.”
“Yeah, right,” Lucas responded as if he was suddenly awakened to the fact that this was a pretty ridiculous situation. They had arranged to meet at this hotel to cheat on their partn
ers. The least he could do was make sure no one could see them. After quietly closing the door, he walked over to the window and stood silently next to Jack.
The American looked sad and maybe a little afraid. Lucas knew that his calm exterior was just that, a front, to cover up his nervousness. Suddenly Jack turned around and faced him as though he had come to a decision.
Jack’s eyes were moist as he reached to cup Lucas’s head with his hand and kiss him hungrily. Lucas gladly accepted the kiss and responded by letting his tongue touch Jack’s lips lightly, carefully asking for access. He could feel the American opening up for him, until he felt himself being pushed away, then pulled back again, this time held in a tight hug. They were both catching their breath, and Lucas didn’t know what to say, all he could feel was Jack’s heart trying to beat its way out of his chest.
“I didn’t mean to push you away, I’m sorry,” Jack let his forehead rest against Lucas’s. “Why do I keep doing this? I just….” He sighed deeply, searching for the right words. “It’s not like I don’t want to, Lucas….”
The young man felt his lover distance himself from him. “But you feel like you can’t, and I should just leave you alone,” Lucas ended Jack’s sentence.
“Yes…. No!” Jack let himself drop to sit on the bed, his eyes closing briefly as he exhaled loudly. He gently took Lucas’s hand. “Please, just sit down for a moment. I’ll try to explain.”
Lucas swallowed, but didn’t move. “It’s okay, Jack, I understand. You have your career to think of and your wife. I should never have thought that this… us… was possible.”
The American pulled on his arm, so Lucas finally sat down next to him, hunched over, staring at the floor.
“It’s not like that, Lucas, please…. I don’t know how to act in this situation.” Jack’s hand was resting on Lucas’s knee. “Because I’ve never been in this situation before.”
Lucas straightened his back and slowly turned toward Jack, his mouth slightly open in amazement as it dawned on him. “Are you saying….”
Jack nodded, an apologetic smile on his face.
“You’ve never had a male lover?”
“Well, thanks for getting that sorted out,” Jack snorted, looking away from Lucas, his hand still on the young man’s knee.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Lucas asked, putting his hand over Jack’s.
“Well, it’s not the type of thing you can casually add to a conversation, Lucas.”
“So I’m the first man you’ve been attracted to?” Lucas wanted to understand this. He moved his hand to cup Jack’s chin and lifted it to make the American look up.
“God, no,” Jack sighed as he shook his head. “I’ve always known I was attracted to men, ever since I fell in love with my best friend in high school. But even then I knew not to pursue it.”
“So you’ve always known, just never did anything about it?”
“Why is that so hard to believe? I grew up in this world, where everything is about how people perceive you, and the last thing they want in their world is a queer diplomat!” Jack was clearly getting worked up about it, so Lucas squeezed his hand for comfort.
“I grew up in this world too, Jack.”
This seemed to calm Jack down. “I know. You were just a little more adventurous than me, that’s all.”
Lucas rubbed his thumb over the side of Jack’s hand. “We can take it slow, no need to rush.” He picked up the older man’s hand, turned it over and kissed his palm. “Are you hungry?”
Jack shrugged, and then smiled. “I think I’m too nervous to eat,” he admitted.
“Well, we’ll have to do something about that then,” Lucas answered as he got up from the bed and took Jack’s hand. He moved away, coaxing Jack to his feet and walked over to the large floor-to-ceiling windows. After he opened them, he walked outside onto the terrace.
“What are you doing?” Jack asked, reluctant to follow Lucas outside.
Lucas turned around and beckoned Jack. “Come here and I’ll show you.” He continued to walk backward, making it impossible for Jack not to follow the enticing form. “This is the executive terrace. Private for five business suites, of which we occupy one. Now since it’s the weekend, the other four are empty, and aren’t booked until Monday.”
Jack laughed and shook his head. This was his Lucas. He could see him charming the receptionist into giving him that information. “Exactly what sort of nonsense did you feed the hotel staff to assure us this much privacy?”
Lucas looked coy. “Not much. I just told the girl at the check in that my boss liked to go outside in the buff.”
Jack threw his head back and chuckled. “You’re crazy! For all we know that will ensure us an audience!”
Lucas laughed too. “She did seem thrilled you were a naturalist. No, seriously, they hear ‘boss’ and ‘businessman’ and they think ‘portly,’ ‘middle-aged,’ and ‘saggy,’ so I think they will give it a miss.”
They stood on the edge of the terrace, and it seemed natural for Jack to take a step closer to Lucas, putting his arms around his waist and his chin on his shoulder “It’s nice out here. Very peaceful, you wouldn’t know you were in the city center.”
“Well, we are about five floors up and the square is car free, so that helps,” Lucas answered, turning a little to look at Jack.
Jack pointed at the highest point in their vista, “That’s a church?”
“The Cathedral of Our Lady,” Lucas corrected. “Should have had two towers, but the second one was cut short because they ran out of money.”
“You’re quite the tour guide.” Jack rested his cheek against Lucas’s hair.
Lucas matched Jack’s soft tone of voice. “It’s not my first time in Antwerp, and I like to read up on the cities I go to. It’s in all the tourist guides.” He could feel Jack tighten his hold and they stood rocking back and forth for a while. “This is nice, but let’s go back in, okay?”
Lucas led Jack back to their room, never letting go of his hand. Once inside he turned to close the drapes and felt Jack enfold him in his arms again. Lucas started fiddling with his tie in an attempt to get rid of some clothes. They were both accustomed to dressing professionally, but Lucas was starting to feel constricted in his shirt-tie-jacket attire. He felt Jack’s breath on his neck, which was a very sensual feeling, but they needed to get a little more comfortable. Jack detected Lucas’s fidgeting and loosened his grip, giving the other man the freedom to turn around. Lucas took Jack’s face in his hands and looked into the grey-blue eyes. There was certainly some confusion in there and a touch of fear. “Tell me you’re sure of this. Tell me you want this as much as I do.” Lucas thought Jack needed to hear himself say it as much as Lucas needed to hear it and he wanted to be sure he wasn’t pushing Jack to do something he didn’t really want.
Jack nodded.
“I want to hear it from you, Jack. I want to hear you say what you want.”
“I want you. All of you,” Jack whispered.
Lucas slowly let his lips touch Jack’s and allowed his hands to slip from his cheeks to his jaw, down his neck to the top of his shirt. He gently tugged the knot of the American’s tie open. His movements were slow and deliberate, as if he was expecting Jack to lose his nerve and push him away again. Instead the American returned the gesture, slowly pulling the two ends of Lucas’s black silk tie apart until they came away from each other. Lucas felt Jack smiling into the kiss they still hadn’t broken, as four hands were fighting for maneuvering room in the small space.
“Maybe we should do this one at a time,” Jack suggested, their lips only just touching.
“Or we could stop kissing?” Lucas offered.
“Hell, no!” Jack rebutted a little more loudly, as he pushed his body closer to Lucas’s again and covered his mouth with a flurry of little kisses.
Lucas was smiling under his lover’s bombardment and trying to get out of his jacket at the same time. He attempted to throw it onto one of the chairs but
missed.
Jack chuckled as he saw the jacket fly across the room from the corner of his eye. He didn’t care where their clothes ended up and sort of liked the idea they would be together in a heap. As Lucas was pushing his jacket off his shoulders, Jack let go of the young man’s face one hand at a time to shrug off the garment.
When Lucas started unbuttoning Jack’s shirt, the American wanted to help with that, too.
“Please let me do it?” Lucas asked, their faces still close together. “I want to peel the layers off slowly. Is that okay with you?”
Jack nodded and unbuttoned his shirtsleeves instead, letting Lucas take care of the other buttons. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he felt his patience being tested, but he saw the almost childlike innocence with which the young man was exploring his body and didn’t want to break the spell. Lucas had, after all, asked nicely, and for some reason, this made Jack feel it was okay to surrender completely to Lucas’s lead.
The Brit wrapped his arm around Jack’s chest underneath the shirt and let his mouth trail down to his neck and collarbone.
“God, you taste heavenly,” Lucas said to no one in particular as he continued licking a trail to Jack’s nipple.
“I want to feel your skin, too,” Jack answered, trying not to put too much urgency in his tone. He wrapped his arms around Lucas’s lean frame and gently pulled the shirt up, releasing it from his trousers and giving him free access to Lucas’s back. He could feel the tight muscles rippling under his hands every time Lucas shifted a little. He had been semi hard ever since they started kissing, but Lucas’s hot mouth on his nipples and the soft skin underneath his hands had the blood rushing to his groin.
As if he was reading the older man’s mind, Lucas raised himself upright again and rasped, “I’ve been teasing you, haven’t I?”
“No,” Jack answered, feeling like he needed to clear his throat too. Lucas stepped back a bit as he opened the top button of his shirt and quickly lifted it over his head, pulling at the sleeves when he couldn’t get his hands free right away, only to reattach himself to Jack’s mouth immediately after discarding the garment.