by J. M. Colail
“Luce, please, you have to believe me. Jack has nothing to do with this.” His voice was quiet, strained in an effort to keep himself calm.
“Well, you would cover up for him, wouldn’t you? Your precious American Ambassador. I wonder what his perfect wife would think about this. I wonder what would happen if I told Maria what her husband had been up to all weekend.”
Lucas regained his composure. If she thought she was going to blackmail him, she had another thing coming. “I don’t believe you, Lucy. I must congratulate you on your imagination though. You find some condoms and you immediately assume I’m screwing Jack. Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? You might as well jump to the conclusion that I’m screwing his perfect wife. That’s just as likely, Lucy!”
Lucas looked at her, hoping he would see doubt in her face. His breathing steadied as he saw her calm down.
“I was looking for change, for the pizza guy,” she said. “He couldn’t change a fifty Euro bill… and there they were, Lucas, right next to your wallet. Why would you have them in your pocket? Why would you buy condoms if you didn’t intend to use them?”
He put his hand on her arm, but she pulled away.
“It was late and I was tired. I missed you, and, ok, I admit it, I went cruising. But nothing happened, Lucy, I chickened out.” He hated lying, but then again, he had been lying for a long time. Not as blatantly as this, but still….
“But you wanted a man again,” she sighed and closed her eyes for a moment. “Why, Lucas? Why was I not good enough for you anymore? Why now?”
She brushed passed Lucas on her way out of the kitchen. He could hear her opening drawers and doors in their bedroom, so he followed her.
“Lucy? What are you doing?”
She closed the bag she was stuffing and tried to get past Lucas, but he blocked her way. “If you believe for one second I’m sharing a bed with you ever again. Now please step aside.”
“Luce….”
“You’re… you’re disgusting, my father was right all along. Just stay away from me, you make me sick!”
Lucas took a step back, letting her pass.
“I’ll collect the rest of my things tomorrow when you’re at work.”
“Where are you going, Lucy?” Lucas asked, surprisingly calm.
Lucy narrowed her eyes as she looked at him. “As if you care.”
He heard the front door slam shut and let himself drop to the bed. He ran his hands through his hair and recalled each word she had said. He knew she wasn’t coming back. She looked timid, but he knew she was one determined woman, something she had proven at the beginning of their relationship by accompanying him here.
So much bad could come from this, but he was really only afraid of one thing. That Lucy would call her new friend Maria.
He had to get in touch with Jack, at least give him some advance warning.
Chapter Thirteen
“SHE KNOWS, Jack.”
Shit.
Jack heard Lucas sigh on the other end of the telephone line.
“Are you okay?” Jack didn’t know how to react. “Is she still there?”
“She just left, doors slamming and everything. You can imagine, she was pretty pissed off.”
“How…?” Jack was testing the water, to see how Lucas was really feeling about this.
“She found the condoms. I didn’t tell her anything, Jack… but she came up with your name pretty quickly, and I’m afraid she’ll tell Maria.” Lucas sounded calm but also uneasy, a little scared and worried, nothing like the confident young man Jack had always seen.
Now it was Jack’s turn to sigh. “How exactly did my name come up? I mean, she was guessing, right?” He remembered Lucas’s remark that people couldn’t tell they were together just from looking at them. Maybe Lucy was smarter than he gave her credit for.
“She knows me, Jack. She knew I’d had male lovers before she came along. I didn’t get the chance to ask for details, because I denied it.”
“Good,” Jack was quick to answer. Too quick. He frowned, mentally kicking himself. “I didn’t mean that. I mean… maybe she believed you and she won’t say anything to Maria.”
Lucas stayed surprisingly calm, clearly recovering his usual form. “Yeah, that’s what I thought. I just wanted you to be prepared in case she does go crying on your wife’s shoulder.” And then after a bit of silence, “I’m sorry, Jack.”
This was a complication Jack didn’t care for, but he couldn’t say that. He spoke again. “Don’t be. Who knows? Lucy might be back tomorrow, once she’s calmed down and realizes just how irresistible you are.”
“That’s not funny, Jack.”
“Well, she might. You said you thought she believed you, so there’s hope.”
“Hope for what, Jack? You sound like you actually want me to continue this charade with Lucy. Besides, I know her, she doesn’t back out of a decision. In fact, that’s what I liked about her. She’s gone, Jack, I just… I just wanted you to know. Be prepared.”
If Lucy was really determined to leave Lucas, the chance that she would tell Maria was considerable and that worried Jack. That stupid little girl could ruin not only his marriage, but also his career. As soon as the thought crossed his mind, he knew it was unfair to blame Lucy for his decisions; but he had to do something. He wasn’t the type of man to sit and wait.
“Listen, I think I can get away, why don’t I drop by your apartment tonight? We need to talk and that’s easier done face to face.”
“No,” Lucas answered decidedly. “I don’t know where Lucy went. Just in case she does call Maria for some reason, it will look suspicious if you suddenly have something urgent to attend to after my girlfriend leaves me. I’m fine, really. We’ll talk tomorrow, okay?”
Jack heard the click on the other side of the line and put the phone down. He was sitting in his home office, where he had retreated after hearing Lucas’s voice. Lucy leaving complicated things considerably. Rumors spread quickly through the diplomatic community. They would have to be even more careful than before.
He rested his face in his hands.
As he saw it, there were a couple of things Lucy could do and he didn’t like either of them. The most likely course of action was for her to call Maria and ask her for advice. The women had become close friends, so that would be a logical step. He knew women, there would be tears and eventually Lucy would let spill that she suspected Lucas was having an affair and that the other woman was actually a man. Maria’s man.
The other thing Lucy could do was expose them.
Starting a rumor was easy. It would just take one well-placed comment to certain people that she had left Lucas because he was more than chummy with the US Ambassador. Jack knew denying the rumor would only make it worse, and he would need Maria by his side to show people it was all a hoax. Knowing Maria, he would have to convince her it was all a lie or she might not be prepared to show her support.
Jack realized he didn’t know how his wife would react, though. Maria wasn’t the emotional kind, but she might feel hurt, and she could be fairly ruthless, so revenge would be sweet, at least for her.
Damn. Was it all worth it? He loved his job; he wasn’t prepared to lose it over a fling. What did he feel for Lucas? Did he love him? Or was it just lust? Comparing what he felt for Lucas to what he felt for Maria was like comparing apples and oranges. It was love in both cases, but for Lucas, it was all consuming, passionate and mind-boggling, while his love for Maria was comfortable, reliable and calculated. Which type of love would still be there in ten years’ time? Did he see himself still loving Lucas then? Would their love survive two wasted careers? What if this caused his professional downfall? Would he hold it against Lucas?
Jack scratched his head with both hands, trying to get his mind in order. Lucas didn’t want to see him. Maybe it was for the best. Maybe they should lay low for a while. It would certainly help him to get his mind in order.
THE REST of the week was spent at the usual
frenzied pace, running from one meeting to the next, showing his face at various trade conferences, International Schools, and in the committee that was preparing the gay marriage bill. Jack was glad he had so much to occupy his mind. Usually he didn’t go to these meetings alone; there was always someone from his Embassy staff accompanying him, if not to brief him on the way, then to introduce him to their negotiating partners.
Nights were another thing, though. Even though he was trying hard not to think about Lucas, he found himself avoiding Maria. They had never had the most prolific sex life, but now he was making excuses not to be in the bedroom with her when she was going to bed. If he couldn’t avoid her, he pretended to be asleep. He kept telling himself to just get it over with and screw her again, dispel any doubts she might have. As it was now, if she knew or even suspected something, this avoidance would make him look even more guilty.
Only he couldn’t. He would sometimes look at her when she had her back to him, in moments when he knew she wouldn’t notice but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t conjure up any feelings of lust. When he was alone, it was easy, his mind would naturally drift to Lucas and he would feel himself grow hard. He just had to picture Lucas’s lust soaked eyes and how dark they would grow when gazing into his and he would have a hard time not touching himself.
By Thursday, he couldn’t hold back anymore. They hadn’t spoken since Sunday night and Jack hated leaving things hanging, so he picked up the phone to call. In the middle of dialing Lucas’s work number, he stopped. They couldn’t talk about this on the phone; this was about them, their relationship. This was about the decision whether what they had was worth being called a relationship or whether it was just a good fuck. Instead of calling, Jack decided that he would pay Lucas a visit that evening after work.
It took him some persuasion to make Mark, his ever conscientious Secret Service man, understand that Jack could drive home without surveillance and that there was no need to call the men at the house to give them an ETA. He couldn’t go into details, of course, but finally agreed that he would call in to say he was okay.
He had dropped Lucas off on Sunday, but hadn’t actually been inside the apartment. He found his way there and ran up the three flights of stairs, pausing in front of the door, more than slightly out of breath. As he reached for the doorbell, he could see the names on the sticker above it—Lucas Carlton/Lucy Marsh—and smiled. That answered his first question.
He wasn’t sure how Lucas was going to react, though. What if Lucas was angry with him? Jack had left him to his own devices for four days and anything might have happened, including Lucas deciding it just wasn’t worth it.
Jack turned around, chickening out, scared of what was behind the door. He paced the small hallway trying to make up his mind and had his back to the door when it opened.
“Will you stop wearing out the tiles and come inside?” Lucas was keeping his voice down and Jack thought he looked amazing in his faded red T-shirt and camel cargo pants.
Jack tried to read his face, to see if he was in a bad mood or if he was mad at him, but Lucas’s eyes were warm and inviting and a small smile was playing on his lips.
“Come in before the neighbors start talking. It’s bad enough that they keep asking me where Lucy is.” Lucas reached out and grabbed his arm, pulling him inside and closing the door behind him.
“Why are you here?” Lucas asked, his voice soft, free from any hint of accusation.
“How did you know I was out there in the hall?” Jack asked, eyeing Lucas suspiciously.
The young Brit smiled, alternately looking at Jack and checking out a spot on the floor behind him. “The door has one of those…” He waved his finger at the door. “…spy holes? And I heard footsteps, so….”
“We need to talk, Luke.”
“Yeah, I guess we do.”
“Has Lucy really gone?”
“She’s gone.”
Lucas looked Jack straight in the eye.
“Did she say anything about telling Maria?”
“I don’t think so.”
They stood there, looking at one another, both of them wondering how the other was feeling, searching for a clue in one another’s eyes, but it was Jack who made the first move, suddenly stepping toward Lucas, seizing the young man’s head in his hands and kissing him passionately.
Lucas gasped with surprise even as he eagerly answered the kiss, opening his mouth to invite Jack in, hungrily sucking and biting the American’s lips.
It felt wonderful to have his lover’s arms wrapped around him and Jack turned with Lucas in his arms and pushed him against the door, kissing him with even more determination now he had a firm surface to press against. He needed to come up for air, but he didn’t want to lose the contact that sent shivers of desire running through his body, so he let his mouth trail along the young man’s jaw and neck.
Lucas tried to get Jack out of his coat, smiling at the hunger in Jack’s seduction.
After shedding the jacket, Jack ripped his tie off, letting it land wherever gravity took it, and placed his hands against the door on either side of Lucas’s head. He pushed against Lucas, grinding into him with his whole body until the Brit moaned against his mouth. They had only been apart for four days, but it already felt like coming home after years apart. How he could ever have imagined giving this up was beyond him.
Lucas pulled Jack’s shirt up, running soft firm hands over Jack’s skin. Jack squeezed his hand between their already close bodies, popping the button on his trousers. As Lucas’s hands trailed down his back to cup his ass underneath his clothes, he knew exactly what he wanted.
Jack raised his head slightly.
“I want…”
He nipped at Lucas’s bottom lip,
“To feel you…”
He pulled the swollen lip with his teeth making Lucas moan.
“Inside me.”
Jack’s voice was husky and as he pushed away from his young lover, he saw Lucas’s smile, those swollen lips and delicious dark eyes and he knew he would get what he wanted.
“It’s about time,” Lucas answered quietly, squeezing Jack’s cheeks to pull his crotch closer.
“Bedroom?”
Lucas shook his head slowly. “That’s not a good room.” He pushed himself away from the door, driving Jack backward, and turned away to escape Jack’s groping hands.
“Where are you going?” Jack asked, not letting him get away that easily, “Don’t go.”
Lucas kissed him again and moaned as he pulled away “So needy…. Hold that thought.”
He disappeared into the bedroom and returned almost immediately. “Now I’m all yours, for as long as you want me.”
“What,” Jack murmured, but was cut off when Lucas attacked his mouth again. He was guided toward the couch and realized what Lucas’s little excursion to the bedroom had been about when he heard the crisp sound of a condom wrapper. They tripped over each other and the furniture, almost falling on the way there, because they were trying to get each other out of their clothes without stopping the touching and kissing.
Lucas pushed Jack down onto the couch and stripped him of his trousers and boxers all in one go. As Lucas raised himself again, he let his cargo pants drop, revealing himself to Jack in all his glory. The American couldn’t stop himself from leaning forward to capture Lucas’s proud erection in his mouth, but Lucas stopped him, dropping to his knees. “Don’t,” he said softly. “There’s only one place I want to come tonight and that’s deep inside of you.” He kissed Jack tenderly, “Let me take my time and do this properly.” Lucas took Jack by the shoulders and gently pushed him back against the cushions. “Just lie back and relax, because you’ll be seeing stars by the time I’m finished with you.”
Both men caught their breath, looking in each other’s eyes as Lucas gripped the back of Jack’s knees and pulled him into a slump on the couch. The American panted with anticipation, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment, afraid that looking at Lucas
’s hungry eyes and wicked smile would make him come right there and then. He had just managed to get control of himself when he felt the heat of his lover’s body over his, their leaking cocks rubbing up against one another.
“I need you to relax, Jack,” Lucas whispered in his ear. “Breathe through your mouth. Close your eyes. Just let the sensations take you wherever they will. Don’t think, just feel. I won’t hurt you, I promise.”
Jack could only nod as Lucas moved back and squeezed the lube over his fingers. He wanted this so much, he felt like he was going to burst. Lucas had told him to close his eyes, but he wanted to see this. He remembered Lucas’s face of utter bliss the first time he had prepared him and he wanted the full sensation.
Jack gasped when his lover took his cock in his mouth, slicking it up with his saliva. He widened his eyes and hoped Lucas would understand this was not helping him to last. Speaking at this time was not an option either, as Lucas released Jack’s cock and let a cold slick finger circle his puckered hole.
He reached out his hand, but Lucas pushed it away.
“Don’t tease, Luke, please, I need you….”
Lucas eased his finger into the unbreached muscle, stopping at the first knuckle. He was taking his time, not to tease, but to allow Jack to adjust as he slowly opened the ring of muscle and pushed his finger deeper.
“Relax, Jack, you’re very tight.”
Jack’s blurred vision clearly registered the Brit’s appreciative smile and he opened his mouth wider, as he felt another finger join the first. It burned a little, but since Lucas was not moving his fingers now, Jack willed himself to relax even more.
“Deeper,” he panted, looking straight at Lucas.
The young man chuckled, “If you can still talk, I’m clearly not trying hard enough.” He scissored his fingers a little and brushed past a smooth patch inside of Jack, making the American cry out and clamp down his muscles. Lucas leaned forward, not moving his fingers. “Easy, relax, I won’t do it again.”