by J. M. Colail
He smiled and walked over to me, giving me a brief, platonic hug. He laughed and whispered in my ear, “Finally, the end of the oppressive education machine.” Then, he leaned a little closer. “You look really cute today.”
I smiled and patted his back the way a friend would, then greeted Mr. and Mrs. Carroll. Wesley introduced his parents to Mom and Alycia and then he introduced his brother, who drove in from Pennsylvania just to surprise him. I was excited to meet him; Wesley mentioned that he had a brother, but he didn’t talk about his family much.
Scott was taller than Wesley was and thicker with muscle; he had a football player’s physique and a cute, boyish face. He looked every bit the three years older than Wesley that he was, but I may have mistaken that for maturity. He seemed genuinely excited to see his brother, but Wesley seemed rather indifferent.
Mom pushed me next to Wesley and pulled out her camera again. She made us put our caps and gowns back on and then took another dozen pictures. Wesley put his arm around my shoulders and when his parents weren’t looking, he slid his hand around my waist.
“Oh! We’re going out for dinner to celebrate. Wanna come with us?” Alycia asked giddily. She tried to make it sound like she just thought of it, but I could tell by her smile that she had planned on asking.
Mom didn’t miss a beat either. “Oh, what a good idea! Yes, we’d love if you’d join us,” she chimed in, smiling broadly.
“That sounds like fun,” Mrs. Carroll answered, clapping her hands together. “Sure, we’d love to!” She looked at Mr. Carroll, who remained solemn but agreed.
While our parents were discussing restaurant options, Jen and Olivia ran toward us, calling Wesley’s name. Jen bumped into me as she put her arm around Wesley. She glared at me briefly then whispered “sorry” with an edge of sarcasm. I stepped to the side as Olivia focused her camera on Wesley and Jen. Wesley glanced over at me and rolled his eyes and I felt a pang of jealousy as Jen wound her arm around Wesley’s waist.
Alycia nudged me with her elbow, then crossed her arms and furrowed her brows. “Just who the hell does she think she is?” She tossed me a look from the corner of her eye and I couldn’t help but smile at her vicarious jealousy. “Hey, Wes! We’re leaving for dinner now!” Alycia called, staring directly at Jen.
Wesley smiled and with a flick of his hand dismissed Jen and Olivia. Jen called out after him, telling him that they should get together soon. Wesley waved over his shoulder without looking back. Alycia pushed me into Wesley and he laid his hand on my shoulder. Alycia grinned at Jen and, with a sense of satisfaction, we left for dinner.
The restaurant was a fancy, Italian place with real cloth napkins, water goblets, and tons of silverware. Two tables were pushed together to accommodate the seven of us and Wesley sat next to me. He took my hand under the table and I couldn’t pull away without everyone noticing, so I accepted it and rested our hands in my lap. Mom and Alycia sat next to Wesley and me and Mr. and Mrs. Carroll and Scott sat across the table. Mrs. Carroll ordered an appetizer for all of us and we chatted awkwardly while waiting for our food. Fortunately, Mom and Alycia realized that Wesley’s parents didn’t know about us and so were on their best behavior.
“So, Toren, where are you gonna go to school?” Mrs. Carroll asked, breaking a long silence.
“I’ve been accepted at the University,” I answered quietly. Wesley squeezed my hand proudly under the table.
“Good for you! Have you thought about a major then?” she followed up.
“I… I’m thinking about History. Or education. I’d like to be a History teacher,” I said.
“That sounds interesting. You know, the project the two of you worked on for History class was really good. It was pretty interesting,” she complimented, glancing and smiling at Mom who nodded appreciatively. “Now that I think about it, Wes’s grades have gotten better since you became friends. If only you’d met as freshmen!” she said, lighting one of her ultra-slim cigarettes. Wesley’s hand tightened around mine and I looked down self-consciously. “I saw that you graduated with honors. That means you had at least a 3.5 GPA, right?”
I nodded my head, but Mom piped up proudly. “3.6, right?” she asked, looking at me. I nodded again.
“You know, Scott graduated with a 3.8 and now he’s in a big engineering program at a university in Pennsylvania. He tried for lots of scholarships and grants and won a few of them. His education is basically paid for. If you want, I’m sure he’ll help you find scholarships and stuff. Right, Scott? We tried with Wes, but with a 2.5, there’s only so much open.”
“2.8. Not that it matters,” Wesley interrupted quietly, looking down at his lap.
“What?”
“I have a 2.8, not a 2.5,” he said. His grip on my hand slackened and he stared into his lap. I squeezed his hand and he looked up at me.
“Well, anyway, Scott, you should write down some of the scholarships for Toren, and then he can look them up.”
The rest of the dinner passed slowly. The food was good but I didn’t really taste it. I was concerned about Wesley; he didn’t say much for the rest of the meal. Mrs. Carroll extolled Scott’s achievements proudly and Scott modestly brushed it off as no big deal.
After the bill was paid, we said good night and went our separate ways. Wesley told me that he’d come over after he changed his clothes.
“Boy, that Cindy Carroll is kind of a handful,” Mom commented on the way home.
“Yeah, what was her deal? She kept harping on Wes about everything,” Alycia agreed, turning around in the front seat to look at me in the back.
I felt a little better, hearing Mom and Alycia, because I realized that I wasn’t just being oversensitive about Wesley. I stared out the window, watching the old, blue Taurus’s fleeting reflections in storefront windows. I didn’t really like Mr. Carroll, but I thought Mrs. Carroll was nice. Now my opinion was changing and I didn’t like it. Was this what Wesley always went through at home?
“If I ever compare the two of you like that, tell me right away,” Mom demanded.
WESLEY CAME over at a little past eight. When I ran to the car, I saw Scott sitting in the front seat. I was kind of excited; I wanted to talk to him. Like Wesley, he seemed reserved in front of his parents. But I was also a little disappointed; it meant I wouldn’t be able to kiss Wesley tonight.
“Hey, Toren. Congrats on graduating. I figured that since I’m the only one old enough to buy beer, I should come along. Hope you don’t mind,” Scott said casually. I smiled; he just said more than he had all during dinner.
“No, that’s okay,” I answered. Wesley glanced back at me from the driver’s seat.
We decided to go to Cue again because there wasn’t much else to do. Scott walked in the front door and whistled.
“Man, same shithole I remember from when I was in high school,” he said with a laugh. “You go get a table and I’ll get us a pitcher,” he said, walking toward the bar.
As expected, Kate and Lissa called to us and we went over to say hi. They congratulated us on graduating and complained that they still had a year to go. A moment later, Scott came up with a pitcher and three glasses.
“No way! Are you tryin’ for a three-way?” Kate asked with a loud laugh. Scott looked at Wesley with a raised eyebrow and grinned. Kate smiled and introduced Lissa and herself to Scott. “Hey, you didn’t bring enough glasses for us!” she whined.
“Well, there’s nothing I like better than buying drinks for underage girls, but… I’ll let you share with me,” Scott compromised flirtatiously. I realized then just how similar Scott and Wesley were.
“You’re barkin’ up the wrong tree there, chief,” Wesley said nonchalantly, leaning over the table and lining up his break.
Scott smiled and laughed, raising his hands up in an “I surrender” motion and stepped back. “Sorry, man. Didn’t know I was stepping on your toes.”
Lissa stepped forward and I grinned. “Actually, it’s my toes that you’re stepping on,”
she said with a smile, sliding her hand around Kate’s waist.
Kate grinned and actually blushed a little. “Yeah, I’m spoken for.”
“Oh. Oh,” Scott said laughing, turning his beer around in his hands.
“Don’t you have a girlfriend anyway?” Wesley asked.
Scott nodded happily. He looked puzzled and leaned toward Wesley with his hand shielding his mouth. “Then, what’d she mean by the three-way thing?”
Wesley looked at Scott with a serious expression. My stomach tightened. “She meant us,” he said, nodding his head toward me. “Toren’s my boyfriend.”
“Wh-what?” Scott stuttered, his eyes wide. Then his face broke into a smile. “You gotta be kidding. You’ve got one weird sense of humor, man.”
“I’m not joking,” Wesley said, his expression still serious. He twirled the pool cue in his hand. “We’re gay. He’s my boyfriend.”
Scott looked at me and my face was bright red. I couldn’t discern the look on his face. I said Wesley’s name quietly and felt my heart thumping fiercely.
“Oh, come on! Your sister knows, so I should be able to tell my brother,” Wesley said comically, trying to calm my nervousness.
Scott stared at us and I wasn’t sure if I felt like running away or going up and kissing Wesley just to prove it. Scott crossed his arms and smiled triumphantly. “All right. Then, kiss him.”
I stared at Scott blankly. Wesley grinned. Scott waited. I shook my head.
Wesley laughed defeatedly and closed his eyes. “Toren’s not exactly out yet, so how about later?”
“Yeah, whatever,” Scott said, pouring another glass of beer. “Let’s just shoot some pool.”
We played a couple of games and Scott drank nearly two pitchers by himself, with a little help from Kate and Wesley. When he couldn’t line up a shot anymore, Wesley decided it was time to call it quits. Scott finished off the pitcher and Lissa and Kate walked us out.
When we got to the car, Wesley spun around, pulled me into his arms, and kissed me so hard I felt it in my toes. He held me steady and grinned at Scott who stared at us with wide eyes.
“Shit. You really weren’t kidding,” he slurred, opening the side door and dropping into the passenger seat.
Wesley smiled at me and kissed me again, gently, before opening the door for me.
“Wow. That was kinda hot,” Kate whispered, loudly enough for us to hear. Lissa nodded in agreement. I guess that was the first time they actually saw us kiss. I smiled lightly; it felt like another milestone in our relationship. At least a half-milestone.
We started out for home, but somewhere along the way, Scott complained that he was hungry and needed coffee. We ended up at a 24-hour restaurant, sitting in the smoking section, and being stared at by Scott who sat across the table from us.
“You know, seriously, I half-expected to come home and find out that you knocked up some poor chick. I really wasn’t expecting this,” Scott said, sipping his coffee and eating french fries by the handful. “But, hey, at least you don’t have to worry about that!” he added, staring at me. He leaned in close and lowered his voice. “I’m assuming that you’re the “girl,” right?”
My whole body blushed and I couldn’t think of anything to say. Wesley shook his head. “That’s enough, Scott. But, yeah, and he’s great in bed,” Wesley said, looking at me sideways with a devilish grin.
“Wesley!” I shouted, holding my chin in my palm and looking away from the table. They laughed the same way, and I thought, They really are brothers.
“I take it that Mom and Dad don’t know?” Scott asked, suddenly serious.
Wesley shook his head. “Nah. It doesn’t matter though. Like anything I do will ever be good enough.”
Scott looked sad and stared into his cup of coffee. He rested his chin in his palm and stared at Wesley, who was tapping his fork on the table. “I’m really sorry about what happened at dinner. I didn’t think Mom would still be riding you like that once I was gone.” Scott stared at the table again and Wesley shrugged his shoulders before looking out the window. It was an awkward, yet intimate, silence. “Seriously, Wes, I’m really sorry. I wish there was something I could do.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Wesley snapped. Then his face softened a bit. “It’s not like it’s your fault. I don’t expect you to go out and fail just so I rise a little in rank in Mom’s eyes. I just gotta be patient. When I move out, I won’t have to worry about it anymore.”
I listened quietly. This was the most I’d heard Wesley say about his family. He was sad and angry and treated unfairly, but he didn’t let it get the best of him. I didn’t feel pity for him; maybe some sympathy, but he was strong. He could handle anything.
“This is exactly what I admire about you,” Scott said quietly. “You don’t let anyone get you down. You’re happy no matter what you do and it doesn’t matter what other people think. I mean, you got a good job doing what you love, a cute boyfriend that makes you happy. You’ve got it all.”
“What the hell are you talking about? You’re the one that has a great job and goes to some prestigious university. You’ve got the ideal life!” Wesley countered, perhaps a little jealously. Scott stared at his younger brother, basking in his admiration, but he shook his head.
“You got it wrong. Yeah, I look like I’m successful, but it doesn’t mean I’m happy. I’m doing this stuff to make Mom and Dad happy, not for myself. The truth is, you’ve got the balls to stand up to them. And your relationship with Toren is just another example. You know Dad’s gonna flip, but you’re all like ‘what the fuck do I care? I’m happy.’”
Wesley looked up and laughed. He had a slight grin on his face and he turned and looked at me. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I am happy.”
“See what I mean?” Scott said, finishing his coffee. He looked at me but pointed at Wesley. “He’s been like this since he was a kid too. If he liked something, he went after it. If he didn’t like it, he didn’t bother. Even with school, he hated school, even in, like, first grade. He just did what he wanted to. Like math: he liked math. But, I don’t know, spelling? He doesn’t know shit—hell, he probably can’t even spell ‘shit’! He just wasn’t interested. And he’s still like that! Am I right?” Scott asked me, looking for support.
I laughed in spite of myself and nodded. It was true. I ran into that problem when we were studying for final exams. Wesley laughed too, probably because Scott’s characterization was so accurate.
The tension between the brothers seemed to disintegrate and we left a little while thereafter. Scott gave me shotgun on the way home and Wesley kissed me good night. I waved from the third floor of my building and watched them drive away. I was glad that Scott came out with us. I felt like I knew Wesley a little better than I did before. And, I still got to kiss him before the night was over.
Chapter 17
“I NEED to find a job,” I said, holding my chin in my palm and taking a french fry from Wesley’s tray. “Do you know of any places that are hiring?”
“Not off the top of my head,” he answered and took a bite of his quarter-pounder with cheese.
“I just want something where I can work close to full-time now, and then work part-time when school starts,” I explained, taking another fry.
“I told you to get something and you said you weren’t hungry, but you’re eating all my fries,” Wesley complained with a smirk.
I hadn’t even realized I was taking his french fries. I looked around; it had been a long time since I was actually inside a McDonald’s. There was a deluxe play area that was twice the size of the seating area. I remembered a plastic, talking tree and tables with mushroom stools from when I was little. Kids sure had it nice these days.
“So you wanna do retail? You could try the bookstore or a coffee shop or something like that. Or maybe that World Store place. You could do stock or work as a cashier.”
“Yeah,” I agreed, smiling sheepishly and taking another fry.
“
Just remember, if you suddenly get hired, you can’t work this weekend. ’Cause it’s the Fourth of July. Okay?”
“I doubt I’d get hired that fast.”
“Just promise me,” Wesley urged, shoving the last piece of hamburger in his mouth. I nodded and he slurped his soda. He took a few fries and pushed the tray toward me. “You can finish those.”
“No, it’s okay. I told you; I’m not hungry,” I answered, pushing the tray back. Wesley laughed and rolled his eyes at me.
“Thanks for meeting me for lunch. But next time, I want something home-cooked and made with love,” he said, finishing off the fries and picking up the tray. “I gotta get back to work.”
I nodded and watched him empty the tray into the garbage. He was wearing a navy work shirt that actually had his name embroidered on it. I smiled to myself; I thought that was pretty cool. He wore matching navy pants, streaked with grease. Even though he washed his hands thoroughly, they were still dirty, especially around his fingernails. There was always something about his hands that I liked; they were big and rough, but they always held me so gently.
Wesley waited for me and we left together. He looked around and then rumpled my hair with his hand. I could tell he wanted a kiss, but there were too many people around. He said that he’d call or come over after work and we went our separate ways.
I stopped at a couple different stores on my way home and filled out applications. I went to the World Store place, like Wesley suggested, and looked around a bit. They sold furniture, home décor, food, spices, beer, wine—a little bit of everything. I filled out an application and turned it in to the manager. I went home with a little hope that maybe I could work there.
On Wednesday, the manager from World Store called and we scheduled an interview for Friday morning. Mom helped me prepare for the interview and we picked out an outfit to wear. I was glad that she didn’t think I needed to wear a tie. I felt pretty confident and when Friday morning came, I went to the interview full of hope. After an hour, I came home with a job.