by J. M. Colail
I looked at Wesley and then sat down next to Alycia. It was surprising; Mike never acted strange around me or avoided me before.
“The thing is, he never said a word about it before today! And, I mean, I talked to him about you guys all the time and he never said anything! Let alone how it must make you guys feel, he…. It was like he didn’t care how I felt either. Did he really think that I’d just say okay? That it wouldn’t bother me? I mean, if he doesn’t think it’s right, does he think there’s something wrong with me because I do? And he never said anything before! I had no idea he felt that way!”
“Alycia,” I said softly, touching her arm.
“I’m sorry, Tor.”
“It’s okay, it’s not your fault.”
“It’s just that he never told me. And what am I supposed to do? I don’t wanna be with a person who thinks that way. If he wants me, he has to accept all of me, including my family. If I stay with him, is he going to avoid you guys? I don’t want that. My family is more important to me, and if he rejects them, then he’s rejecting me too.”
My stomach twisted and my chest tightened. I rubbed Alycia’s back and stared at the floor. I couldn’t look at Wesley.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to just dump all this on you,” she said quietly, her brows furrowed. “I just didn’t know what to do.”
“I’m sorry too.” I didn’t know what else to say. She had been with Mike for over a year.
“What should I do, Tor? I love him. I mean, I really do love him. But… this is just too much.” Alycia sniffled and wiped away the tears in her eyes.
I patted her back and glanced at Wesley. “Could you take the lasagna out of the oven?” I asked quietly. Wesley nodded and stood up.
“You made lasagna?” Alycia asked, her face perking up and her eyes hopeful. She blinked quickly, trying to dissipate her tears and smiled childishly.
“Yeah, using Mom’s recipe with a few changes,” I answered, returning her smile with a slight laugh. Her stomach never ceased to amaze me. She was small, petite really, and looked delicate and fragile, but she had a stomach made of steel. It was like there was a switch in her brain that put her in “food mode.”
“Ooh, I can’t wait! I haven’t eaten for two days waiting for dinner tonight. I just hope you made enough ’cause I’m starving!”
“Well, dinner’s ready, if you wanna eat now,” I said, but she was already up and heading toward the kitchen.
Alycia set the table while I tossed the salad and Wesley cut up the lasagna. We sat down to eat and Alycia and Wesley battled to see who could eat the most.
“Hey, can I have a beer?” Alycia asked after dinner. She was hunched over in front of the refrigerator and glanced back at me with a grin.
“Sure, grab one for me too,” Wesley said, heading into the living room.
“Hey!” I objected, but was ignored. Alycia passed me with two beers in her hands and I followed her into the living room. “She’s my little sister!” I protested halfheartedly. “Oh, forget it.” I gave up, without hearing a single word of opposition.
“C’mon, Tor. Have one too,” Alycia urged, pulling her legs under her on the sofa.
“Nah, he doesn’t like beer,” Wesley said and took a long drink. Then he stood up quickly. “Oh, but I got something he does like!”
Wesley ran into the bedroom and Alycia and I exchanged glances. I didn’t know what he was getting; I just prayed it wasn’t something embarrassing. He came back with a joint between his thumb and index finger and my stomach dropped.
“Tor… ren!” Alycia scolded. “Shame on you!”
“We can’t smoke it on the balcony, so can we do it in here? Or do we have to go to my car?” Wesley asked. He didn’t smoke in the apartment, but it wasn’t because I wouldn’t let him; he decided to smoke outside of his own accord. “Oh, have you smoked before?” he asked Alycia.
“Just once,” Alycia said. “Me and a friend decided to give it a try, but I don’t think I got high or anything. It kinda sucked. Honestly, I was a little disappointed.”
I didn’t know she had ever tried it. I looked at her blankly and she smiled sheepishly at me. I guessed I shouldn’t have been surprised though.
“Well, if you’re anything like your brother, you will this time.”
“Yeah, in here is fine,” I said, resigning myself to the fact that my little sister wasn’t little anymore and knew more about the world than I did. I deflated with a sigh, snatching the joint from Wesley and falling back on the sofa next to Alycia. “Lighter?”
Wesley tossed me an orange lighter and sat down on the sofa next to me. I lit one end and inhaled. Wesley watched me with a smile on his lips. He seemed impressed that I could get a good burn, but I had watched him enough times to know. I handed it to Alycia and she was cute, bringing her lips out to the joint rather than bringing the joint to her lips. She closed her eyes and inhaled, holding her breath with her cheeks puffed out. Wesley and I giggled, then he took it and we passed it back and forth until it was a tiny roach. Then Wesley got his bowl and we smoked that too, although it wasn’t really necessary.
“Fuck!” Alycia shouted, surprising Wesley and me. She looked at us with a loopy grin on her face. “I definitely didn’t get high before. What a rip-off!”
Wesley and I started laughing and we turned on the TV with the volume low, barely audible. We sat three abreast on the couch with silly grins plastered on our faces.
“I’m thirsty,” Alycia said, smacking her lips.
I got up to get her a soda and both Alycia and Wesley followed me into the kitchen. I poured a soda for Alycia, but ended up drinking it myself because she opted to have another beer with Wesley. I took out the carton of mint chocolate chip ice cream, Wesley took the entire pan of lasagna, and Alycia grabbed the rest of the garlic bread, and we sat down at the table, sharing a very unusual post-dinner snack.
“God. What a fucking idiot,” Alycia stated with a mouthful of ice cream.
“What?” I asked, taking the carton back.
“Mike. He’s such an asshole! I mean, really…. What did he think was gonna happen?”
“I dunno. Maybe he thought we were gonna start boning in the middle of dinner?” Wesley suggested, taking the ice cream carton away from me.
“Wesley!” I shouted, because of what he said and because he stole the ice cream.
“I mean, if that’s what he was expecting, then we wouldn’t wanna let him down,” he continued, blocking the ice cream from me.
Alycia laughed, leaning back in her chair. “Oh, ew! Please, just not in front of me. As far as I’m concerned, Toren’s asexual and….”
“Oh no, you’ve got it so wrong. Toren’s very sexual and very, um… passionate,” Wesley said, with a grin at the corner of his mouth and a lascivious look in my direction.
“Oh, my God! Look at how red you are! Toren, you look like a tomato!” Alycia squealed.
I knew I was bright red, but I couldn’t help myself. Wesley laughed and pushed the ice cream toward me.
“Will you guys shut up?” I said, hiding my face behind my hands.
“Aw, you’re so cute!” Alycia teased, poking my arm.
I finally got them settled down and we watched TV in the living room until about one in the morning. Alycia left a message for Mom that she was staying the night and I hoped that Mom wouldn’t be able to tell she was stoned by her message. I brought out a blanket and a pillow for Alycia and set them down on the sofa. We said good night, but Alycia stopped us. She came up to me and kissed my cheek.
“Thanks for dinner. And for listening. You guys are the best.”
Chapter 27
“HEY! WELCOME home! How was your first day of school?”
“It was good,” I answered, dropping my book bag at the door. Wesley was wearing my apron and he looked so cute. “What are you doing?” I asked, giving him a kiss and glancing into the kitchen.
“No! Don’t go in. I’m making dinner and it’s a surprise,”
he said, pushing me into the living room. I peeked as I was pushed past the kitchen and it looked like it exploded. “Dinner’ll be ready soon, so just sit down and be a good boy.”
“You look good in an apron,” I said and grinned. I sat down on the sofa and Wesley shook his ass before returning to the kitchen. I laughed and thought he would look better if he were wearing only the apron. I sighed with a grin; Wesley’s fantasies were starting to affect my own.
I turned on the TV and waited. There was a loud crash followed by a string of cuss words. I got up and asked if he needed help, but he adamantly denied it. A couple minutes later, Wesley made his appearance with two plates, two forks, and a large, proud grin.
“I know it’s not much, but I can’t really make anything better, unless I had meat and a grill,” he prefaced and handed me a plate and a fork before sitting down beside me.
There was a stack of pancakes on the plate and on the top one, “LOVE YOU” was spelled out with chocolate chips. I smiled and looked at Wesley. He blushed and watched me eagerly.
“This is so sweet!” I said, leaning over and pecking Wesley’s cheek. He smiled proudly and waited for me to take the first bite. “Yummy!”
We finished dinner and flipped through channels on the TV. I stretched my legs out and leaned into Wesley. He put his arm around my shoulders and I felt so happy that I could burst.
“I guess Alycia really broke up with Mike,” I said, looking down at my lap. “I talked to my mom this morning. I still can’t quite believe it. They were together more than a year. Since Alycia was a sophomore,” I said, wringing my hands.
“That’s too bad,” Wesley answered. Then he laughed, “Well, at least Jeremy’ll be happy to hear it. He’s crushing on your sister pretty bad.”
“Still, I can’t believe they broke up. I can’t help but feel bad about it.”
Wesley stared at me a moment. “You’re not feeling guilty, are you? ’Cause it’s not your fault. Even if we weren’t gay, your sister’s not the type who would want to be with someone who thought that way. It was probably gonna happen sooner or later, so it’s better she found out sooner rather than later.” He put the remote down in his lap and tapped my leg. “Okay?”
“Yeah, I know. But, still, I can’t help but feel a little bit guilty.”
“Well, don’t. It’s not your fault and I’m sure Alycia put a lot of thought into it. So, don’t worry about it, okay?”
I sighed and nodded. “Okay.” Wesley always made me feel better, but did I do the same for him? I fidgeted my hands in my lap and swallowed hard. “Um, have you talked to your parents since you moved out?”
“No. Why should I? My mom’ll start in on me about ‘how could I do this to them?’ and that they didn’t ‘raise me to be like this’ and my dad’ll just say that he doesn’t want a fag for a son. So, no. I don’t wanna hear it,” he said, making my stomach drop. He flipped the channel on the TV.
“But, you don’t know that for sure,” I said. “You should talk to them, just to let them know you’re all right.”
“Forget it. I left my phone number and address when I moved out. If they wanna talk, they can call me.”
I sighed and Wesley rubbed my shoulder. He looked at me with furrowed brows. “You’re not saying this because of what happened with Alycia, are you?”
“No.” He could read me so well; it was pointless to lie. “Well, maybe. I just…. I don’t wanna be a burden to you. Family is important and I don’t wanna be the cause of any stress.” I didn’t know what I’d do without Mom and Alycia. I’m not strong enough to make that kind of choice. But I knew what I wanted Wesley to say.
“Tor, listen to me. I chose you. I don’t regret it and I never will. I feel bad that my parents can’t be happy for me, but oh well. I chose you and I would again, every time. Besides, I got you, but I also feel like I gained a mom and a sister. So don’t ever think like that. Okay?”
I felt better. I felt relief. I would always feel a little guilty over what happened with Wesley’s parents, but as long as he loved me, it was a guilt I could easily live with. I turned to Wesley and kissed his lips. He tasted sweet, like syrup, and I licked him tenderly.
“I love you,” I said.
“I love you too. Didn’t the pancake tell you that?”
I laughed and picked up the plate from the coffee table, but Wesley took it from me.
“Sit down. I’ll do the dishes. Besides, you might kick my ass for what I did to the kitchen.”
Wesley went to the kitchen and I watched TV, but soon went to the bedroom to change clothes. On my side of the bed, a dozen red roses were propped up against the pillow. My stomach filled with butterfly wings and my cheeks felt hot. I ran to the kitchen, spun Wesley around, and kissed him hard on the mouth.
“I can’t believe you bought me flowers!”
“Well, damn. If I knew I was gonna get that kind of reaction, I would’ve bought you a car.”
I turned off the water in the sink and took Wesley’s hand. I led him back to the bedroom and wrapped my arms around his neck. I sucked his tongue and licked his lips, then pushed my hands beneath his T-shirt. I circled his nipples with my fingertips until they were hard and then bent my head down and sucked on each in turn. I pulled his shirt over his head and kissed him lightly while I unbuttoned and unzipped his pants.
“Wait. Not yet,” I whispered, pulling his hands away from my blue jeans.
I took his pants down to his ankles and drew in my breath sharply. He was wearing boxer-briefs and they looked so sexy on him. He was hard and pushing against the stretchy cotton as I pulled those down too. I felt myself stiffen as I looked him over and my heart began to flutter. He stepped out of his shorts on the floor as I led him to the bed. I got down on my knees and licked my lips. Wesley sat on the edge of the bed and I slid my hands up over his knees to the tops of his thighs and grasped him with both hands. I lapped at the florid tip, guided my tongue along the smooth, rigid shaft, then under his balls until I reached the place where his thighs met. He was warm, hot even, and he leaked pre-cum onto my sensitive tongue. His balls tightened when I dropped my mouth around him and his legs trembled on either side of my shoulders. He moaned quietly and I was enchanted by his voice. I sucked and slurped harder, feeling his orgasm draw near, and then I drank down every drop he had to offer.
Wesley panted above me and I stood up, letting my hands linger, and kissed him until I felt him harden again. I stepped back and slipped my shirt off. I took my jeans down and my boxers were sticky from anticipation. Wesley watched me closely, his eyes exploring my body wantonly as I crawled atop him, finally allowing him to touch me. I almost came from the mere sensation of his warm, hard hands. I leaned back, holding Wesley as I gently lowered myself onto him. It was a little tight without lotion, but Wesley was slick with my saliva. I accepted him gradually, feeling him swell within me and I kissed his lips and neck as if it was the only thing keeping me alive. We moved together as though every thrust was choreographed and I clung to him as my climax came early. Wesley rocked me back and forth, smearing the cum on his stomach against mine, and as he pumped, I felt my heart racing and my pulse thumping. I was hard again and as I gasped for air, I came a second time. Wesley exploded inside me and I collapsed in his arms, the strength drained from my body. I heaved in breath as if I had been underwater and my body was still trembling.
“You’re the best boyfriend ever,” I sighed.
Chapter 28
IT WAS Wesley’s day off and somehow, he talked me into skipping my first class. We relaxed and fooled around, but I got ready to go around two. I couldn’t miss any labs and Wesley reluctantly let me go. I got to school early and settled down in the empty bio lab and read my psychology text waiting for class to begin.
“Hey, Toren. What’s going on?”
I looked up from my psychology book and Josh was smiling at me. He was a junior, kinda cute, and my lab partner for biology.
“Not much. How are you?” I said.
“Pretty good,” he answered, sitting down on the stool next to me.
Josh had a handsome smile, dark brown eyes, and earrings in both ears. Friendly, outgoing, and confident, he reminded me of Wesley in some ways. On the first day of class, when we were picking our lab partners, he turned around and asked me to be his partner. I didn’t know anyone in class and I accepted with a smile. I thought I was going to have to wait until the professor asked if there was anyone without a partner, the way it had always happened in high school.
“So, what are you working on?” he asked.
“Oh, um, just reading for Psych.”
“Oh yeah? That’s my major. It’s Intro, right? Who do you have?”
“McFarlain.”
“She’s good. She’s really good. But don’t ever take Davis. That guy’s a total prick. But I guess it doesn’t matter for you. You’re a History major, right?”
I looked up and nodded. I was surprised that he remembered. Classes started just three weeks ago and I had already failed my first math test. I really needed Wesley’s help.
“So what do you wanna do with it?”
“I think I’d like to teach.” I wasn’t sure why, but I felt bashful all of a sudden.
“Cool. I think you’d be really good at that,” he said, smiling again.
We sat and talked in the biology lab until class was about to start. I packed up my book and highlighter and took out my bio notebook and folder.
The professor started class and handed out the observation sheets along with a box of cotton swabs so we could compare plant and animal cells under the microscope.