by Jaycee Ford
• • •
Cowboy boots echoed through my loft as I left the sanctuary of my bedroom in search of liquid bravery. After checking the clock on the microwave, I knew I didn’t have enough time for a beer. A shot of whiskey would have to do. I opened the cabinet next to my fridge, and pulled down the bottle filled with amber liquid and a clear shot glass. I unscrewed the top covered in red wax and poured a bit of whiskey in the stout glass. As I held it close to my lips, I exhaled an anxious breath and shot down the searing relief. My cheeks tingled from the burn and my nerves calmed for the moment.
A buzz from my back door alerted me that my date had arrived. I took a deep breath as I placed the empty shot glass in the sink. I pushed the bottle of Mark to the corner of my counter, and I walked across the living room and headed downstairs. As I took the last few steps, I breathed out to calm my nerves, and then pulled open the door.
A dark cowboy hat bowed down in front of me, hiding his face. He shifted his head up and his eyes met mine. My heart fluttered as I gazed upon the sexiest man I had ever seen. He glanced down my body, caressing my curves. He blinked, holding his eyes closed for a moment, and then opened them back to mine. A genuine smile graced his beautiful face, and he pulled around his arm that was hidden behind his back. A bundle of wildflowers was nestled in his grasp. My shoulders sagged as I melted. I reached out to take the bouquet, but he grabbed my hand instead, pulling me toward him. I gazed into his eyes as he dipped down and pressed his lips to mine with ease, and when he broke our kiss, the silence echoed between us.
“I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too.”
“I think I’ve missed the sound of your voice more,” he whispered, and then pressed his lips to mine again.
My arms wrapped around his neck out of pure need. My body became flush with his as he leaned over me, deepening the kiss. The flowers fell to the ground as his hands roamed down my back. My leg hitched out of instinct when his tongue sought mine. The heat from his touch scorched down my side as he wrapped his hand around my knee, hooking my leg around his hip. Not a second passed and he pressed me up against the brick wall. I clawed at his back, wanting to get closer, wanting him to go deeper. He kissed down my neck, and just as his lips grazed my chest, he pulled away, leaving me panting for more. He eased me down his body, and as my feet found the ground, he pressed his hands against the wall on either side of me, shaking his head in disappointment.
“I told myself I wouldn’t do that. I told myself this would be a real date. I see you and I can’t keep my hands off you.” He grabbed my hand and placed it over his pounding heart, and with a whisper, he continued, “Do you see what you do to me?”
Do you see what you do to me? I reached my other hand up and cupped his cheek. His eyes closed as he leaned into my touch. He turned his head and kissed my palm, and while still leaning into my touch, he gazed at me with a content smile.
“Let’s go on that date.”
I smiled and nodded at his request, and as he wrapped his hand around mine, I took a step and landed on the stems of the flowers. I moved my foot back, and Paul scooped them up and handed them to me.
“Sorry, baby.”
I shook my head with the biggest smile on my face.
• • •
“Where are you taking me?”
The mountain roads curved to an almost unsettling path. The sun had fallen behind the peaks and the stars were as clear as day; however, we would be making a detour soon if my stomach didn’t ease up. Even after four years of living near the mountains throughout high school, my stomach never cared for the curvy roads that lined them.
“We’ll be there in a minute.” He drove his truck onto a gravel road. The trees lining either side made the makeshift road dark and a little creepy.
“Paul?”
He chuckled at my unease. He laced his fingers through mine and brought my hand up to his lips. His kiss sent a spark to my heart. He pulled the truck off the gravel road, came to a stop, and squeezed my hand before letting it go. The raise of his finger told me to wait, so I rested my hands on my lap and waited in the darkness for his return. He opened the back of the truck and pulled out something—I could hear it slide against the bed liner—and then he slammed the tailgate shut. My stomach contorted into a bundle of nerves. I just wanted this to work out so badly. I almost made myself sick.
The door opened and my cowboy appeared with his hand extended to me. The nerves wreaking havoc in my stomach vanished as soon as my eyes met Paul’s. His gentle smile warmed my heart, and having gone through the emotional roller coaster for so many months—so many years—I was happy to at least have a little of him. This little bit of him made me happy enough to make everything bearable.
Our hands linked as our two pairs of cowboy boots crunched over the gravel and then onto a dirt path. The trees thinned out, leaving tall grass surrounding us. Tiny lights fluttered about us as the fireflies made their presence known. I grazed my fingers over the blades of grass, the softness tickling my fingertips. Paul shifted a bag on his shoulder, and he held another within his grasp. I let go of his hand and turned my head toward him.
“Do you need help?”
He grabbed my hand again, holding it tight, and brought it to his lips, kissing gently. His eyes found mine. “Nope.”
I smiled at him and the trees vanished behind us. The night sky lit up with thousands of stars. I hadn’t seen that many in so long. My feet stopped as a gasp escaped me.
“I figured it had been a while,” he said as he kissed my cheek.
I nodded at his assessment. The stars remained in sight as he shifted the bag off his shoulder and laid them both to the ground. His arms wrapped around my waist, and he pulled me toward him. I laid my head against his chest as his lips found that one spot in the crook of my neck. That spot made my knees weak every time, but I couldn’t get enough of it. He released me, leaving me to star gaze, and setup whatever he had hauled with us.
“Ellie.”
I turned toward his voice. He stood in front of a blanket laid on top of the grass, creating a billowing affect underneath, and a basket placed on top. A few candles lit the area.
“Paul, you didn’t have to do this.”
He stepped toward me, grabbing both of my hands with his.
“Yes, I did. I need you to know … It’s just … It’s not all about sex. It’s more than that for me.”
His face softened as I traced my fingers across his cheek. I rose on my toes and his lips met mine halfway. Before it deepened, he pulled away, ensuring that this date was not about sex, and as much as I wanted him, this date couldn’t be more perfect.
He walked me onto the blanket and we sat down on the covered grass. I settled as he dug in the basket and pulled out a plastic container. I looked at his offering.
“Pizza! Is this New York-style pizza?”
He chuckled as he pulled out two plates, napkins, and two bottles of beer.
“The restaurant said New York style, but from the looks of it, I don’t think so.” He offered me a slice on a plate. I took a bite with exaggerated caution, staring at it with a perplexed face to match. His hand rubbed my knee during the examination. He opened up a beer for me, placing it down next to me, and he asked, “How is it?”
“It’s not New York, but it’ll do.” I reached for the beer, and as I took a sip, his eyes lingered on me for a second, and then forced them away, serving himself some pizza. He really would restrain himself tonight. He was making a point; a point that I could understand.
“So, our friends seemed to have gone on a coffee date,” he said, and then bit into his pizza.
I swallowed in shock. “Tom actually elaborated on a girl?” I asked. When he nodded with a chuckle, I added, “Huh … that’s … odd.”
“Tell me about it. He’s never said a damn word about a girl ever, and now he can’t shut up about this one.” He inhaled the rest of his slice in one bite. After chewing, he added, “Did you know t
hat Jordan was his teacher?”
“I kind of wondered if she would be.” I took a swig of beer and pondered if Paul was as upfront with Tom regarding us. “Does he know about us?”
He bit the inside of his lip as he looked over at me and shrugged his shoulders. “I think he knows a little bit, but I don’t think he knows enough.”
I nodded and added, “It might be best to wait awhile anyway. Just until we know what’s going on. Ya know?”
“I don’t plan on screwing anything up, Ellie. I mean that.”
My heart clenched. It was so easy to believe him, but after this past year, my heart needed to heal. He grabbed the empty plate from my lap, setting it aside, and slid me onto his lap. His arms wrapped around my waist as he nuzzled against me.
“I know that the past few months have been hard, Ellie, but can I please try to earn back your trust?”
“I never stopped trusting you. You’ve got to know that. I just couldn’t do anything from New York without bringing other people into it, and I couldn’t do that. I could have called The Inn and got your new number. You don’t know how many times I almost did, but then I was afraid of certain people finding out. I didn’t know if there was anything to tell anymore. I really thought we were over.”
“But you still came back.”
My shoulders sagged with the memory of my first night back here. “I was planning on getting you back the night I moved here, but you were with Angela.”
“I just gave her a ride.”
I pushed away to face him. “Holding her hand?”
He sighed, gripping his arms around me, and said, “She’s clumsy on the sidewalk. I don’t want her like that. I swear on all that’s holy.”
I stared into his big blue eyes, believing that I could see nothing but honesty. I exhaled and pulled him into a hug. “I believe you, baby.”
He cupped my cheek and grazed his lips across mine. There was nothing sexual about the kiss, but I did feel something.
It felt a lot like love.
CHIRPS ECHOED IN the distance. Orange swirled beyond my closed lids. A drum thumped a steady beat in my ear. Arms pulled me tighter and my body hummed in contentment. Sleep pulled me back under. A firm hand rubbed up and down my spine, beckoning me to awaken. My eyes flickered open to a surrounding field of grass. A fluttering of wings landed on a single blade. My eyes focused on the most brilliant orange dragonfly, mimicking the likeness of the sunrise illuminating the sky. I stared in wonder as it sat motionless, protecting its field and watching over me and the man whose arms surrounded me.
The dragonfly flew up, blending in with the bright orange and yellow as day shone upon us. I lifted my head up, watching it flutter away. Arms tightened around me, and I tilted my chin up, resting it on his chest. His eyes found mine as if he had been watching me this whole time. A smile eased up his cheeks and my heart melted at the sight.
“Good morning, beautiful.”
I buried my head in his chest. He unwrapped his arm from around me, coddled my face, and then lifted my chin up as he whispered, “If every morning for the rest of my life your smile was the first thing I could see, it still wouldn’t be enough.”
He pressed his lips against mine and I couldn’t get enough of him. His hand grazed down my side, pulling my leg across him. My knees anchored on either side of his waist as he pulsed underneath me. I willed myself not to move, but he felt so good pressed against me. My hips bucked forward, his bulge hindered by his jeans. He moaned against my lips.
“Baby, I promised we wouldn’t do anything.”
His hands held my hips, egging me on. I sat up on him, locking my stare with his, and peeled my shirt over my head. He stared at my chest. He fought not to move, but I believed I would win.
“You might have promised, but I didn’t promise anything.”
He shot up, meeting my lips, and while our hands removed his shirt, he tried to flip us over to lay me down. I pulled out of the kiss, lifting up onto my knees, and whispered, “It’s my turn.”
His face awed when my fingers undid his belt buckle. After unsnapping his jeans, I unzipped them and wrapped my hands around his hard length. He sucked in air through his clenched teeth as his eyes closed.
“Look at me,” I ordered, and his eyes flickered open to mine.
The powerful fulfillment that consumed me was like nothing else before. Paul submitted to me. I could do this for him. I could make him feel good. I released my hold of him and stood, my feet straddling either side of him. I reached behind me and unclasped my bra. His eyes feasted on my chest until I unbuttoned my skirt. My hips swayed to the silent drum of his heart. His hands glided up my legs, pulling the skirt down my hips and leaving me wearing only a patch of lace and pair of cowboy boots. Stepping out of my skirt, his fingers tugged at the waistband of my panties, exposing me to the world.
Not giving him any time to allow his hands to roam, I knelt down, straddling him again. As I wrapped my fingers around his girth, he released a slight moan. I pumped him slowly as his mouth latched onto my nipple. I wanted to succumb to the feeling, but the exuberance of dominance felt so much better. I pulled my chest back, forcing him to unlatch, and twisted a little, offering my other nipple. He tugged so hard, sucking as if his life depended on it. My core pulsed with need. I shifted above him, and while my eyes spoke of the love that my lips could not say, I eased him inside of me. My breath vanished as I stretched to accommodate all of him. I laid my hands on the ripples of his abs as I moved on top of him. A new rhythm ensued as he thrust into me, and I bounced up and down on him. My head fell back, relishing in the sensations that pulsed through me. His fingers threaded through my hair as he sat up against me. I continued to ride him, but slowly forfeited dominance, allowing the fire to scorch through me. His lips pressed against my neck, traveling up to my ear.
“Do you want to come?”
I looked into his eyes and nodded fervently. “Yes. Please. Make me come.”
Without a second to spare, I was on my back. His hands raised my hips as he pounded me over and over, hitting that one spot that would make me come undone. The eruption began deep within me, and my emotions were threatening to be exposed.
“Paul, I love …”
“Ellie …”
His lips covered mine, sealing my declaration of love. My nails dug into his back as I became weightless. He pulled out of our kiss and poured into me as our eyes never blinked away. He stayed buried deep, and twitched each time my core clamped around him. He shifted slightly, holding himself up by his elbows on either side of me. He pressed his lips to mine and pulled back. His brow wrinkled as he bit the inside of his lip, deep in thought. I traced my fingertips down his face, absorbing this moment of peace. He kissed my thumb and sought my eyes.
“Ellie, I know I shouldn’t, but I’m too far gone to stop it now.”
“Stop what?” I asked. My heart sped up with excitement, but I bit my lip to hold in my nerves.
He exhaled, gaining some sort of confidence. He tore away his gaze from mine and pressed his lips to my cheek. He whispered, “I don’t want to be friends anymore.”
I pulled away as much as I could, which wasn’t far. How could he do this to me again? Did he use me again? “Do what?”
“Shh … baby …” He shook his head. My breathing slowed upon his calm reaction. “I don’t want to be just friends anymore.” He kissed me with ease and I smiled against his lips. He pulled away with barely a breath between us.
“What do you want to be, then?” I asked.
He smirked, emitting a bit of sexiness and shyness. “I want you to be my girlfriend.”
I bit my lip again, but this time, it was to hold in the biggest grin. It was no use though. I released my bite and while a smile spread across my face, I said, “Oh, do you, now?”
His eyes filled with lust as he stared at my lips. He thickened inside of me. My core gripped him, and as he slowly thrust forward, he groaned with a whisper, “Yes.”
My eyes
closed from the sensations coursing through me. With a breathless moan, I asked, “Did you ask me to be?”
He stopped moving and brushed his thumb down my cheek. I opened my eyes, melting into his.
“Ellie, please be my girl.”
I nodded my answer as my vision glazed over with silly tears. He brought his lips back to mine as he pushed me over the edge again.
• • •
Paul parked his truck behind my boutique with the morning sun rising in the sky. I turned my head, staring at my boyfriend, and his return smile melted my heart. He finally wanted to be with me. I leaned across the center console and he met me halfway.
“Thank you for the date. I had a lovely time,” I said, implying more innocence than I could handle.
He chuckled at my antics and asked, “How about we do it again sometime?”
I leaned closer. “We better.” I sucked his bottom lip between mine.
He breathed a moan. “You better get in that apartment before I pull you on my lap.”
I winked and kissed him again. Clutching my purse, I grabbed the handle for the door, and just as I was about to pull it up to open, his door slammed shut. My eyes shot up. He watched me while he walked around the front of the truck. He reached my side and proceeded to open the door, offering a hand for the jump down. He wrapped his arms around my waist, squeezing me tight. I wanted to enjoy everything that I had in my arms, but one thing kept nagging me.
“When are you going to tell Lance?”
He pulled away, placing a gentle kiss on my cheek.
“I think we need to get used to us first before we expect Lance to. Let’s give it a little while, okay?”
My heart broke a little. I agreed with him, but how long would it take? I didn’t mind though, keeping him to myself for a while. It was okay … for now.
I nodded in reply.
He kissed my forehead, and asked, “Want some dinner tonight? I can pick it up and bring it here. Maybe a movie?”
“Do I get to pick the movie?”
“Is it gonna be one of those old timey British guy movies like you always used to watch?”