Spilt Secrets (A Talnarin Novel Book 2)

by D. E. Chapman

His expression is guarded. “Yes.”

  I wait for Malik to say more. When it becomes obvious his lips are sealed on the matter, I try another angle. “You know a lot about the affinities. Why is that?” I widen my eyes innocently.

  Malik’s eyes narrow in response. “Because the talnarins I work with daily represent all four affinities. Of course, I know about them. It’s my job to know about them.”

  Right. “But that doesn’t explain why you are able to intimately instruct me on them. You seem to know how they all connect, how they all feel. That’s not something you learn from watching.”

  “It’s not?” His eyebrows raise, challenging me.

  The intensity of the look throws me off. Suddenly I’m not so sure. “I don’t know. It just seems odd to me.” My reply is weak, uncertain.

  I hate second guessing myself.

  The corners of his lips turn up slightly in the corner. Lost yet again. One of these days I’ll win. “You’re getting off topic again. That’s a bad habit you have, Alanna.”

  Did he just say my name? I don’t know if he’s ever said my name before now. It’s always girl, like I’m some adolescent teenager in my rebellious phase. Is the world ending?

  I scoff. “Well, I have a lot of questions. There’s still a lot I don’t know, and a lot you won’t tell me.”

  “And it takes time to learn everything. Have patience, otherwise you’ll burn yourself out learning too much at once.”

  Fair enough I suppose. “Fine. So Mindula. How do I call it?”

  “Do you remember what I said about the difference between the energy signatures for Firvo and Elestal? It’s the same for Mindula. This time, it’s up to you to determine another energy signature for this affinity that’s different from the other two.”

  I rub my eyes, feeling weary. “So, I just call my energy while thinking of the new pattern?”

  “Yes.”

  “It’s just that simple?” Dubious. My expression says it all.

  Malik raises his eyebrows at me. “Yes. Don’t overthink it.” He gives me a knowing look. So yes, I tend to overthink some things. Most things. “Your instincts took over and separated Elestal and Firvo for you. Now it’s time for you to learn how to do that consciously. But, don’t expect it to happen right away.”

  I still don’t get it. “But how do I differentiate them?”

  “Think about how the energy felt in your mind when I invaded it. What was your fist reaction to the flow of energy?”

  “I didn’t feel it. Not really. It was a whisper, a soft touch in my head.” It’s so hard to describe, it’s frustrating.

  “Then use that.” Malik points to his head, eyes on me. “Picture that feeling when you’re calling for it. But don’t push the energy my way. Not yet. First, you need to feel it build up in your core and familiarize yourself with the change in energy.”

  Feeling slightly ridiculous, I close my eyes and search for the energy. Again, only hollowness greets me until I look further down in my soul. Finally, a little flickering of energy appears in my mind. It’s a soft touch, gentle and warm. Once I greet the energy back, the power floods out.

  I feel it burn as it builds up inside me. But it feels like it usually does. I don’t understand. Do I call for the energy thinking about the affinity? Or do I reach for it like I normally would then think of the affinity? Will it then morph into the energy I want?

  How did I call the Elestal affinity? I can’t remember how I called for it, I had so little practice. I wrack my brain trying to remember any small details that can help.

  Growing frustrated, I let the energy return to my core. Once it’s all been contained. I think about the differences between the energies. I think about how they feel as they travel through me. Firvo and Elestal are the easier ones, ones that’s I’ve felt and experienced before. But Mindula… I’ve never achieved this one, I don’t even know if it’s possible.

  But I want it to be possible. I want to be able to influence a person’s thoughts, emotions, and actions. Something about that is so tempting. So forbidden and wrong and yet perfect all at once.

  When Malik entered my mind, it was soft and subtle. Like a soft whisper of wind dancing along my skin. I imagine a soft flow of energy, a small wisp is all, dancing under my skin. Like wisps of smoke floating to the heavens on a breezeless day. A lazy trail, a languid trail.

  Trying again, I slowly stretch my mind down into my soul, to the deepest part of me. I stretch for the energy I know is buried beneath. When the flicker appears in my mind’s eye, I don’t beckon it, instead I move closer. I wait until the wisps of energy caress my mind before slowly retreating. It follows like a loyal companion. Faint trails of energy follow behind my mind’s eye.

  There is no rush of energy flooding through me; it’s subtle and soft. I spend time acquainting myself with this feeling, understanding it, welcoming it.

  It’s a bizarre thing to do, one thing I’m still not accustomed to doing with my energy. Getting to know the energy inside me is unusual to say the least.

  Without much thought, I send the energy out of my body. I envision it floating to the body of the person at the foot of the bed. Like smoke it disappears, saturating through Malik’s skin. It works its way to his head and there, I feel a presence.

  I send my energy further and grind to a halt. I feel stirrings of emotions in my own head, but they don’t belong to me. Somehow, I know this without fully understanding what that means. The emotions are separate from me and yet still a part of me. Instinctively, I know I’ve seen Malik’s emotions.

  I gently pull back.

  There’s a slight resistant, a part of me wanting to stay in his mind and search deeper. To pull secrets from his mind and determine why he feels what he feels. But I resist. I pull my energy with me as I retreat. Like before, it trails after me and retreats to my core, fading from view and leaving me hollow once more. A feeling I am growing accustomed to, despite the discomfort it still causes.

  I snap open my eyes and whip my head around. Malik sits there calmly watching my expression.

  Does he know what I did?

  Of course he does. This is Malik. He seems to know everything, to always be one step ahead, to my great frustration. I open and close my mouth, uncertain on what to say in my defense. I’m not entirely sure I can defend myself from his ire. After all, I directly disobeyed his order.

  How do I tell him what I just did? I could have hurt him, damaged him like he warned. But I did it anyway. Like a Rayn drawn to the light. Addicted. Some part of me urged me forward and I listened to the voice without a second thought.

  Then, it clicks.

  It was him. Malik was in my head. It’s the only thing that makes sense. I didn’t subconsciously decide to enter his mind. Especially not after he warned me what could happen if I foolishly did it without training.

  My eyes widen as the dots connect.

  Malik sits patiently, waiting for me to come to my own conclusion, whatever it may be.

  Maybe I’m wrong and it was me all along. It all happened so fast. Maybe the temptation was so great and I couldn’t resist. Maybe Malik had nothing to do with it after all.

  I don’t know. The silence is heavy and it’s making me second guess myself.

  Finally, I manage to ask the question burning within me. “That was you?”

  He studies me briefly, the silence growing more unnerving as seconds tick by. Why won’t he say anything?

  Come on Malik just say something.

  Finally, he says, “It was.” I heave a huge sigh of relief. Thank gods. He leans forward, elbows on knees. Malik is still starring with an intensity that borders on frightening. “Do you know which part of that was me?”

  “All of it?” Doubt creeps into my tone.

  “No. You reached for it and called it all on your own. I simply planted the suggestion to enter my mind and you did I suggested you do it gently. You did.” He gives me an intense look, one filled with unnamed things. “I suggested you di
g deeper. You didn’t.”

  My eyes widen. What does that mean?

  “Why didn’t you dig deeper, Alanna?” His tone demands an answer, yet curiosity softens his voice.

  I pursue my lips, my stomach in knots. “I don’t know. It didn’t feel right. It wasn’t right.” I flick my hand out. “It felt invasive, wrong.” I hope that was the right answer, whatever the right answer is. My foot taps nervously and my heart thumps loudly in my chest.

  “Because it was wrong.” Malik sits up straight and crosses his arms.

  My brows furrow. “Then why suggest it?”

  “To test you.” Of fucking course. It’s always a test with him. Well let’s hear his excuse this time. “I needed to see how far you’d go, how far you’d want to go. Especially towards a person you still don’t quite like.” His lips turn up into a devastating smirk.

  My heart skips and my own lips turn down in response.

  What in the Hellvian was that?

  “What’s the point though? Why test me?”

  Malik’s expression turns serious. “This affinity can be dangerous. They all can, but meddling in the minds of another is on a different level. The temptation to draw the secrets from people can be overwhelming. I needed to see if you could resist that. I needed to see if you could do the right thing even with that temptation beckoning your further.”

  Oh. “And I resisted.” After a brief pause, voice uncertain, “Right?”

  “Yes. Yes, you did.”

  Relief is instantaneous and overwhelming. “But if I did listen to it, what then?” I ask as the thought hits. “How could you have stopped me? You taught me an affinity I could use when you’re not around. So, what then? What good would this lesson be if I listened to the temptation?”

  Malik’s golden eyes go steely. “Make no mistakes, Alanna, I could stop you. I would stop you. You have had but a mere glimpse of what I am capable of.” A chill runs through me. “If I thought for one second you would abuse Mindula, I would strip the power from you in a heartbeat. Don’t ever forget that.”

  I gulp. Dully noted.

  Chapter 16

  I lay on my side, careful not to crush my wings, brewing over everything. What Malik said this morning still circles around on repeat in my head.

  Make no mistakes Alanna, I could stop you. I would stop you. You have had but a mere glimpse of what I am capable of. If I thought for one second you would abuse Mindula, I would strip the power from you in a heartbeat. Don’t ever forget that.

  The threat was clear as day and just as frightening as the first time I met him. It was chilling how cold his voice had gone. It reminded me that no matter how much Malik has changed, if I’m a threat to the people he cares about, he’ll take care of me.

  One way or another.

  But how could someone strip an affinity from another? Was that just a threat to scare me into doing the right thing? Or, can you really remove the power from a person? I suppose that with Malik, anything is possible. I know next to nothing about him and what he can do. I know he can manipulate Mindula. That much is obvious from practice.

  Then, there’s Malik’s wings.

  If what Malik said is true, then wings are for the talnarins that possess the ability to manipulate more than one affinity. But honestly, I don’t know what purpose Malik would have for lying about the wings in the first place.

  What is Malik’s other affinity? He’s mentioned his ability to conserve his body heat; is he a Firvo user?

  His eyes are a complete mystery too. I’ve yet to come across gold eyes in my studies.

  Gold and silver, that is.

  I’d always assumed that my silver eyes were a side effect of the experiments; even Abel had said my eye color is unusual. But… Malik, Abel, and Him all have golden eyes. What does it mean? Why can’t I find anything about gold eyes in the library? It obviously common enough, or at least not completely rare. Does it have anything to do with the multiple affinities?

  I’m pulling at straws here and I don’t like it.

  So many questions and not enough answers. It seems that every time one is answered, three more pop up in its place. And it’s hard to get straight answers too. It’s maddening.

  He’s maddening.

  I was so shocked by Malik’s threat that I didn’t acknowledge today’s discovery until after he left. I can actually manipulate three affinities. I had some help, but it was still me. I manipulated yet another affinity.

  Three affinities.

  Three.

  What in the Hellvian does that mean? Can I manipulate Flokil, too? The biggest question still remains. What am I?

  For more external energy storage, am I going to grow horns next? And maybe a spiked tail, too? Soon everyone will be calling me Alanna the Three Horned Beezle.

  I turn my face into my pillow and fight the frustrated scream climbing up my throat. Part of me wants to punch something. The other part of me wants to scream until my throat bleeds.

  Just when I come to terms with what I’ve become, I get thrown face first into this shit.

  Growing up, all I wanted to be was different. I wanted to be unique. I wanted to stand apart from the crowd. Normal, everyday life wasn’t enough for me. There was always that lack of satisfaction in my life that there was something I was missing. It always felt like my time would come, like something grand was on the way.

  And it came.

  Just not how I expected it to, just like my adventures. Some might say that I’m on the biggest adventure of my life. But it’s an adventure I don’t even want. Yet here I am. Doing my best to cope with the rapid changes in my life. I was doing well and now I have even more on my plate to adjust to.

  But I’m strong.

  Stronger than before. I can do it. I can survive this.

  I push my thoughts away. It doesn’t matter right now. I can’t think about it. There’s to many other important details to focus on.

  Right after Malik dropped his threat, he ended our practice session. He told me to rest and that we’ll resume practice tomorrow. Of course, he made sure to stress that under no circumstances am I to practice any of my affinities without him present. He claimed he didn’t want any ‘incidents.’ I wasn’t going to argue with that logic. Especially after my previous… incidents with the bomb.

  Maybe I could use this time to learn more. I could request some books to be brought in so I can give myself an outlet for my constantly running brain. If I look through more books, perhaps I’ll find something on Malik and Abel. Maybe it’s just a matter of not looking deep enough.

  With that in mind, I get to my feet, my balance still unsteady from the additional weight on my back. I make my way to the door, debating whether to knock or just open it and ask.

  For some inexplicable reason, I’m nervous. I don’t know who’s out there, but I do know I don’t want my wings seen. Freya and Malik seeing them is already more than enough. Having my wings on display feels intimate, private.

  After standing in front of the door for what feels like hours, I turn tail and move away. My nerves win and I decide to pass on asking for more reading materials. I don’t want something to occupy my time that much that I’m willing to make myself uncomfortable.

  As I pass the desk on my way back to the bed, I spot two books sitting there. Pulling to a stop, I glide my hand gently over the covers. Reading the titles Energy at Its Finest and The History of Our People, I settle on the former. I plop back down onto the bed, careful not to crush the fragile appendages.

  I skim the book for information I don’t already know, and find a section on affinities within a family unit. The affinities are not assigned based on blood relations, but are randomly distributed to talnarins. A family of four will never have repeated affinities. And though the exact cause is unknown, the book’s author theorizes it’s for diversity and to reduce competition among blood siblings. After all, you can’t fairly measure the strength of Firvo against Mindula.

  As fascinating as this is, I wish
I knew more about my own hybrid species.

  I uncross my legs, feeling them prickle, before leafing through more pages. The book goes on to talk about a lot of information I’ve already read or learned from Benjamin. Though there are some bits that are new that aren’t nearly as interesting.

  Eyes growing weary and brain exhausted, I lay back down and daydream. I daydream about a life I could have had.

  I daydream about the life I would have had, had it not spiraled out of control.

  *******

  I crack my eyes open, feeling a presence nearby. Hovering, watching, waiting. What it’s waiting for, I don’t know, and I’m not sure I want to know.

  Knowing you’re being watched is a strange sensation. Only, this feels more intense than just being observed. Not hostile, but…

  I remain perfectly still. I keep my breathing slow and deep, attempting to appear asleep and unaware. My back is to whoever, or whatever, is in the room. In the night, I had turned and faced the wall, and now that puts me at a disadvantage. Somehow, I feel paralyzed under the gaze.

  It’s terrifying.

  I suppress the shudder, afraid the action would be noticeable in the darkness. I bat the steadily rising fear down, needed to keep a clear head. The panic is bubbling just below the surface and a scream itches in my throat. I am tempted to scream for help, but I have no idea who is behind me, let alone what they want. For all I know, they could be sleepwalking.

  Or sleepstalking.

  I lay and wait to see what happens. Time creeps by slowly, extending the torture. It’s a long and exhausting battle fighting the welling feelings inside me. The heavy silence is deafening. The blood rushing in my ears too loud. My heart thumps painfully in my chest and I pray to the gods that the thing in the room can’t hear it. Sweat beads down my body, eyes wide.

  Not soon enough the feeling of being watched disappears. Still, I remain silent and unmoving, afraid that they’re still there, hiding in the darkness. Time continues to tick by, and still I remain paralyzed.

  I can’t take it anymore.

  In a flurry of movement, I sit up and whip around. Holding my breath, I glance this way and that, attempting to peer into every darkened corner of the room.