Spilt Secrets (A Talnarin Novel Book 2)

by D. E. Chapman

Exhilaration grips me and a smile stretches across my face. Who knew such a jump would be exciting? I gently kick my heels into Ivora’s flank. She heeds my instructions and moves faster, catching up to Malik and his beast. Before long, Malik levels out and I am right behind him.

  We soar above Bylir, the buzz of the wind drowning out everything.

  Chapter 20

  Legs still a little wobbly, I meander to the kitchen for some dinner. After today’s flurry of activity, I’m exhausted. As I walk through the door, I notice Elaine sitting at the small table in the corner. When she spots me, she grins. “How was training?” Her eyes are laughing, like she knows something I don’t.

  I rummage around for food as I say, “It was fine, if you discount the mishap with flying that is.” I whip around when Elaine sniggers, eyes narrowing in her direction. She’s covering her mouth with her hand, trying to contain her laughter. “You know,” I shout accusingly.

  It’s not a question, but she answers anyway. “I’m sorry! I don’t mean to laugh but… when Zeke told me…” Elaine’s giggles take over, and she can’t finish her sentence.

  I should have known it was him who squealed to Elaine. Zeke would never miss the opportunity to humiliate me.

  He’s a terror.

  I shake my head and move towards the table. Apparently, I misjudged how much room my wings need, because I wince as they hit the back of the chair. How could I forget they’re there? I sigh and heave forward, relieving the pressure from my fragile wings. They ruffle in response, seemingly thanking me for the extra space.

  I’m about to take a bite of my alpoh when I notice the uncomfortable silence; Elaine’s stopped laughing. I glance up and find Elaine looking at me with compassion. Uncomfortable with the eye contact, I glance back down and pick at the skin of the fruit.

  “Do you want to talk about it?” Her voice is soft, understanding. I shake my head as my eyes click down. “It might help. It’s not good to keep everything in like this, Alanna.”

  Her words resonate deep inside my soul. She’s right, bottling everything up is unhealthy. A part of me does want to talk to someone about it all. I’m just worried that once I start, a flood of words will escape and I won’t be able to stop. But will that really be all that bad? Elaine did offer to listen, after all.

  I pursue my lips, debating the pros and cons in my head. “It’s frustrating.” I start, deciding the good outweighs the bad.

  “Just when I think I’m on top of these changes, something else happens, throwing me for a loop.” I squeeze the fruit my hand, frustration coating my tone. Elaine stays quiet, allowing me to speak at my own pace. “Just when I think I know what I am, I’m back at the start again. I have so many questions and yet it seems nobody can answer them… or that they won’t answer them. I feel like I’m missing something, that there’s something I need to know. But it doesn’t matter how much I search for it. It’s always out of reach.”

  I huff out a breath. “And I feel the stronger I become, the further I get from my revenge. The more I remain here killing time, the further He can get from me. It’s the one thing in my life I can’t give up. It’s the one thing I have left that’s mine. Some days I think it’s the only thing keeping me sane.” I look up to find Elaine’s sad violet eyes on me. “Despite having been promised that none of you will interfere in my revenge, I’m not reassured. Something tells me that when the time comes, someone will steal that from me. The longer I sit here, the further I feel from my mission. I’m running out of time and it’s killing me. Don’t take this from me.”

  By the end on my speech, my breathing is ragged, and tears well in my silver eyes. My chest is heaving, and I’m so close to breaking down.

  Elaine looks down at her hands in her lap, but her gentle eyes flick up to meet mine when she speaks. “I promise you,” she begins, her eyes confident, “We won’t take this from you. And every day, we get closer to finding them. Have faith that you’ll get Him, it just takes time. They don’t want to be found, but we will get them. And that bastard will be yours to kill.” Tears well in her own eyes. “I won’t let anyone take that from you. I know what it means to you because at one point it meant the same to me.”

  My eyes widen at the admission. There are no words I can say that will ease the pain reflecting in her eyes, I know that perfectly well. No matter what I say, they will just sound like empty words. I offer all I can, my compassion and support, and can only hope that she senses it rolling off of me in waves.

  She straightens, any remaining echoes of pain wiped clean from her face. “You’re still you, despite the physical changes. Look at it this way: the more you learn and discover about yourself, the closer you come to accepting everything that makes you, you, and the closer you get to harnessing your powers. No one ever knows who they are completely. Things change, people change, and who we are as individuals change, too.”

  She leans forward in her chair. “But at the core of who you are, you are still the same person who woke up this morning or who woke up three weeks ago.” A grin stretches her lips. “Embrace the changes. Harness the changes. Use them to your advantage and kick ass.”

  A small smile makes it to my face. I feel content. No, that’s not quite right. I feel reassured. It’s like a small pressure has left my chest and my thoughts are clearer. And to think that I didn’t even share everything.

  There’s an itch in my head urging me to spill it all, but I refrain. I have time. There’s no need to lay it all on her now. By the end of it, she’ll probably beg me to shut up and keep it to myself anyway.

  “Now eat, it’s been a long day. You need sleep.” She encourages as she leans back in her chair.

  “Thanks.” Ducking my head, I take a bite of the now soft fruit. Despite me squishing it, it’s still juicy and delicious.

  “You’re welcome. You can talk to me anytime. And I mean it.” I glance up as I chew; she’s grinning at me and nearly bouncing in her seat. “But no more dark thoughts tonight. Instead, let’s talk about the festival. I’ve been meaning to ask you, are you going to Wilvidar with us?”

  My blank look is enough to illustrate just how knowledgeable I am on that subject. What in the Hellvian is Wilvidar?

  Elaine leans forward, eagerness rushing her words. “The Wilvidar is the second largest festival of the year. The largest is, of course, Spovidar.”

  I roll my eyes. “Yeah, of course.”

  She huffs a breath, the only outwardly sign she heard me. She plows on, “Wilvidar is the yearly festival celebrating the arrival of winter. It celebrates the coming of death and rebirth. It represents the start of a new beginning. It’s like the reset of life, a new chapter in our lives.”

  My brows furrow. “Isn’t that spring, not winter?”

  Her smile widens. “The two are very similar, yes. But winter, for us talnarins at least, celebrates death and rebirth. Spring, on the other hand, celebrates life and growth. Spovidar celebrates the coming of spring, the coming of life and growth.

  “All things in life follow a cycle of life, death, and rebirth.” As Elaine continues to explain talnarin traditions to me, her hands flurry about excitedly. “The seasons of this world strongly depict these aspects of life. We chose to celebrate only two, winter and spring. Fall and summer are the transitional seasons in our eyes. Fall is the season preparing for death and rebirth, while summer is the season adjusting to the changes of life and growth.

  “Death is the beginning for all new things. When a life dies, something grows to replace it. That is why forest fires can be beneficial. The burning of the old can make way for the new. The burning of the dead can make way for the birth of seeds. That is why we have the pyre light for the entire week of festivities at Wilvidar.” Her smile stretches wide, her eyes lit with excitement.

  “It’s a week long?” I’ve never heard of a festival ongoing for longer than two days. The idea is crazy and brilliant all in one. That sounds like so much fun, a week of nothing but playing around.

  “Y
es, it’s a week long. Each day represents an aspect of life. On day one of the festival, we celebrate the birth of all living things. Day two celebrates the life of all creatures. The third day honors death and the deceased.” She starts ticking down the days on her fingers. “The fourth day celebrates rebirth, and day five celebrates the second life of living creatures. The sixth day honors the second death and the dead once again. The last day represents the full circle, where all aspects of life are celebrated.”

  “Why do you celebrate two births, deaths, and lives?”

  “To celebrate our cores reincarnation cycle, of course.” She gives me a look that says I should have known that.

  “Right.” I nod, side-eyeing my friend. “So, are there certain events for each day or is it all the same festivities all week long?”

  She shakes her head. “Each day holds different events and rules. For example, on the days of death, the dead are mourned and honored. All those who still live host ceremonies for the dead, such as reading their rights of passage and sending well wishes into the afterlife.” A brief flash of sadness overcomes her features and is gone the next second.

  “On the days of birth, all children under the age of seven are celebrated. Well, to be exact, all children without a tied core are celebrated. The day is full of events for children, like plays and games.” My brows furrow at the word plays. I’ll have to ask what that is later.

  “On the day of life, we celebrate any over seven or those with tied cores. The day is gifted to those with a completed self. The events hosted on this day are centered on competitions and arena battles.” Her eyes light up with something dangerous. “The last day, the day of full circle, is where everything comes together. Everyone is celebrated, all aspects of life are celebrated. From the dead to the young to the adults. This is a day for every event imaginable.”

  Excitement threatens to overtake me, and I nearly fall out of my chair I’m leaning so far forward. Our festivals back home were never so elaborate, so joyful. “That’s sounds amazing. What about Spovidar? How long does that festival last and what do the days represent?”

  She smirks, like my enthusiasm is amusing. “Spovidar is ten days long. That’s why it’s the biggest event of the year. The first day is a celebration of birth, the second day celebrates growth, and the third day celebrates changes. Day four is the celebration of life. On day five, we honor the dead. Day six celebrates rebirth, day seven celebrate second growth, and day eight celebrates second changes. The ninth days celebrates second life. The last day is the celebration of enlightenment.”

  I shake my head in amazement, they really have these festivals thought out. Back home, Market Day was a simple event, nothing this extravagant by any means. “Does the King attend these events too?”

  A strange look overcomes Elaine’s face immediately. It’s always mention of the King. Why? I try to read her expression but I don’t have any luck deciphering it. She says a simple, “Of course.”

  I brush off the oddness—these talnarins are so sensitive about their ruler—and ask another question. “When is Wilvidar, exactly?”

  “In fifteen days, just before the snow sets in and it becomes too cold for outdoor events.” She plasters a smile on her face, but it feels less genuine than before.

  “So, are all the events outside?”

  “We are people deeply connected to nature. Our events are usually always hosted in nature to bring us to our full potential with our affinities.” She smiles gently, lost in thought. “It’s a wonderful festival, nearly all the talnarins will be in attendance. I do hope you go, it will be a great experience for you. And you can see more of my kind. You’ll be able to see new sides of us and what we are like.” She leans forward eagerly. “I promise you this festival will be unlike anything you have ever attended.”

  “Well that’s true, seeing as the only one I’ve attended is the yearly festival in my village, Market Day.” I cross my arms, shutting down any surfacing memories, and instead focusing on the idea that every talnarin will be in attendance, even the King.

  “And what happened on Market Day in your village?” Her voice is uncertain, unsure whether the question is appropriate or not.

  I shrug. “We sold and purchased wares from other villages. Doesn’t compare to the festivals you have, but it was enough for us.”

  “I would love to hear more about your Market Day, it sounds very interesting.” I flick an incredulous look her way and she laughs, putting her hands up in fake surrender. “Honestly. It would be fascinating to hear the way humans do things. At our festivals, booths are set up everywhere. This is our time to sell and barter wares too, but I imagine it’s different than your village in many ways.”

  “Yeah, you could say that again. And seeing as you have items I have never seen or heard of before, I imagine the purchases are far more interesting at Wilvidar. Besides,” I continue, holding her gaze, “you have abilities humans don’t have.”

  “Then you really must go. It will be an experience unlike anything you have ever dealt with before.” She snaps her fingers. “We will even have our own booth set up. It will be great!”

  I don’t argue. Though a part of me is nervous about venturing further into the talnarins domain. But an even larger part of me is excited to see this festival and all that makes a talnarin, a talnarin. Elaine’s right. This will be unlike anything I’ve ever seen.

  And besides going to the festival may help me find Him. Or at least help me gain more knowledge about Him, one way or another.

  As an afterthought I say, “Will Abel and Malik let me go?”

  Her lips turn down in the corners. “I don’t see why not. You would be with us. You’d be safe and looked after.”

  That’s not what they’ll be worried about. A larger place and larger crowd increase the chance of me escaping, but I don’t argue with her.

  Chapter 21

  Elaine and I finish eating shortly after discussing Wilvidar, but remain in the kitchen. We make small talk, chatting about our Mindula affinity.

  “You project so strongly that it’s hard to distinguish your emotions from mine. Your feelings are so tangible to me that sometimes, I lose myself. It’s like having two powerful sets of emotions fighting for dominance. It gives me a splitting headache.” At that, she gives a gentle smile and laugh, soothing the sting of her words.

  I bow my head, ashamed for the pain I cause her by simply inhabiting the same space. “I’m sorry. I don’t know how to control it.”

  She brushes my comment off with a wave of her hand. “Don’t worry, Alanna. I don’t even know if you would be able to stop projecting. It’s just who you are, and it might even be a result of the genetic alterations. None of the other human’s project as loudly as you do.”

  I jerk my head up so fast I hear my joints pop. “What?”

  “Oh. The experiments… they altered your genetics. Maybe your loud emotional projections are a side effect. You could be sensitive to the affinities because of everything that happened. Who knows.”

  I shake my head. “No. What do you mean other humans aren’t as loud? I thought human contact was prohibited.”

  “Well… it was a long time ago.” Elaine’s eyes plead me not to push further.

  I concede and shift the topic back. “Still, I’m sorry that it’s so painful for you.”

  “Don’t apologize. Really. I’m honestly thankful for it.” Her features soften.

  “Why?”

  She laughs. “It has allowed me to understand you better.”

  I give her a curt nod; I don’t understand it, but I don’t argue, either. “I’ve taken up enough of your time, and I really need to find Abel.”

  Elaine bids me goodbye and soon, I’m making my way towards Abel’s office. The sky is growing dark, and I’m thankful that today has passed quickly.

  The slight ruffle of wind is refreshing on my skin. There is a slight bite to the wind too but it’s not unbearable. It’s nothing like the torrent of wind suffocating
me as I fly.

  I ponder over my interaction with Elaine again.

  She’s never judged me or asked me taboo questions. Elaine is patient and kind, something I didn’t realize I desperately needed from someone. Unlike Abel, Elaine is easier to connect with. She lets me come to terms with things in my own time too.

  It’s a relief to have a friend like her.

  But perhaps the best thing about the whole thing is that Elaine doesn’t push too much for our friendship. She expressed her desire to be friends but didn’t let me back away in apprehension. Elaine maintained her determination to talk to me, yet conceded when I’d had enough interaction. It was the right push and pull for someone with no experience with friendship.

  I was a loner, a social outcast in my village, and I was out of place at every event and gathering. I don’t know what it was about me that offset the people in my small village but it was enough to keep away. Maybe it was my odd ways and desire for adventure. After all, in my village, you just didn’t spout that kind of thing without there being repercussions.

  Talk like that simply didn’t happen.

  Whatever it was, it resulted in weird looks, whispers, and rumors. I was defective, unwanted. No one wanted my friendship. No one wanted my hand, either. Though looking back on it, I’m grateful for it. Any more connection to the villagers would have made my past that much harder to bear. Losing the only ones who loved me unconditionally was hard enough.

  To lose friends and a husband would have destroyed me.

  I shove the darkness back, unwilling to let it consume me. The anguish fights for control, but I eventually win.

  I focus on the topic at hand. I wonder if Elaine and I could be considered friends now. I hope so. She’d be my first real friend.

  Before I know it, I’m standing outside Abel’s office. As I raise my hand to knock, I hear faint murmuring from behind the door. Letting my curiosity cloud my judgment, my ears are quickly pressed against the door. The murmuring becomes words, the voices distinct.