Orson Scott Card - Ender 08 - Shadow of the Giant

by Orson Scott Card

  I would have chosen the same if I'd had time.

  There was no time. Bean's life was too fragile already. She was losing him.

  And she had known right from the start that one way or another, she would lose him. When he begged her not to marry him, when he insisted he wanted no babies, it was to avoid having her feel as she felt now.

  Knowing it was her own fault, her own free choice, all for the best—it didn't ease the pain one bit. If anything, it made it worse.

  So she was angry. At herself. At human nature. At the fact that she was a human and therefore had to have that nature whether she wanted it or not. The desire to have the babies of the best man she knew, the desire to hold on to him forever.

  And the desire to go into battle and win, outwitting her enemies, cutting them off, taking all their power away from them and standing astride them in victory.

  It was a terrible thing to realise about herself—that she loved the contest of war every bit as much as she missed her husband and children, so that doing the one would take her mind off the loss of the others.

  When the gunfire began, Virlomi felt a thrill of excitement. But also a sick sense of dread. As if she knew some terrible secret about this campaign that she had not allowed herself to hear until the gunfire brought the message to her consciousness.

  Almost at once, her driver tried to take her out of harm's way. But she insisted on heading toward the thick of the fighting. She could see where the enemy was gathered, in the hills on either side. She immediately recognised the tactics that were being used.

  She started to issue orders. She ordered them to notify the other two columns to withdraw up their valleys and reconnoitre. She sent her elite troops, the ones that had fought with her for years, up the slopes to hold the enemy off while she withdrew the rest of her troops.

  But the mass of untrained soldiers were too frightened to understand their orders or execute them under fire. Many of them broke and ran—straight up the valley, where they were exposed to fire. And Virlomi knew that not far behind them would be the trailing force which they had carelessly passed by.

  All because she didn't expect Han Tzu, preoccupied with the Russians, to be able to send a force of any size here to the south.

  She kept reassuring her officers—this is only a small force, we can't let them stop us. But the bodies were falling steadily. The firing only seemed to increase. And she realised that what she was facing was not some aging Home Guard unit thrown together to pester them as they marched. It was a disciplined force that was systematically herding her troops—her hundreds of thousands of soldiers—into a killing ground along the road and the riverbank.

  And yet the gods still protected her. She walked among the cowering troops, standing upright, and not a bullet struck her. Soldiers fell all around her, but she was untouched.

  She knew how the soldiers interpreted it: The gods protect her.

  But she understood something completely different: The enemy has given orders not to harm me. And these soldiers are so well trained and disciplined that they are obeying the order.

  The force opposing them was not huge—the fire-power wasn't overwhelming. But most of her soldiers weren't shooting at all. How could they? They couldn't see a target to shoot at. And the enemy would concentrate its fire on any force that tried to leave the road and get up the hills to sweep over the enemy lines.

  As far as she could see, if any of the enemy had died, it was by accident.

  I am Varus, she thought. I have led my troops, as Varus led the Roman Legions, into a trap, where we will all die. Die without even damaging the enemy.

  What was I thinking? This terrain was made for ambush. Why didn't I see that? Why was I so sure the enemy couldn't attack us here? Whatever you're sure the enemy can't do, but which would destroy you if they did it anyway, you must plan to counter. This was elementary.

  No one from Ender's Jeesh would have made such a mistake.

  Alai knew. He had warned her from the start. Her troops weren't ready for such a campaign. It would be a slaughter. And here they were now, dying all around her, the whole highway thick with corpses. Her men had been reduced to piling up the dead as makeshift bulwarks against enemy fire. There was no point in her issuing commands, because they would not be understood or obeyed.

  And yet her men fought on.

  Her cellphone rang.

  She knew at once that it was the enemy, calling her to ask her to surrender. But how could they know her cellphone number?

  Was it possible that Alai was with them?

  "Virlomi."

  Not Alai. But she knew the voice.

  "This is Suri."

  Suriyawong. Were these FPE troops? Or Thai? How could Thai troops get across Burma and all the way up here?

  Not Chinese troops at all. Why was it suddenly so clear now? Why hadn't it been clear before, when Alai was warning her? In their private talks, Alamandar said it would all work because the Russians would have the Chinese army fully involved in the north. Whichever attack Han Tzu defended against, the other side would be able to rampage through China. Or if he tried to fight both, then each would destroy that part of his army in turn.

  What neither of them had realised was that Han Tzu was just as capable of finding allies as they were.

  Suriyawong, whose love she had spurned. It felt like so many years ago. When they were children. Was this his vengeance, because she had married Alai instead of him?

  "Can you hear me, Vir?"

  "Yes," she said.

  "I would rather capture these men," he said. "I don't want to spend the rest of the day killing them all."

  "Then stop."

  "They won't surrender while you're still fighting. They worship you. They're dying for you. Tell them to surrender, and let the survivors go home to their families when the war is over."

  "Tell Indians to surrender to Siamese?"

  As soon as she said it, she regretted it. Once she had cared first for the lives of her men. Now, suddenly, she found herself speaking out of injured pride.

  "Vir," said Suri. "They're dying for nothing. Save their lives."

  She broke the connection. She looked at the men around her, the ones that were alive, crouching behind piles of their comrades' bodies, searching for some kind of target out in the trees, up the slopes ... and seeing nothing.

  "They've stopped shooting," said one of her surviving officers.

  "Enough men have died for my pride," said Virlomi. "May the dead forgive me. I will live a thousand lives to make up for this one vain, stupid day." She raised her voice. "Lay down your weapons. Virlomi says: Lay down your weapons and stand up with your hands in the air. Take no more lives! Lay down your weapons!"

  "We will die for you, Mother India!" cried one of the men.

  "Satyagraha!" shouted Virlomi. "Bear what must be borne! Today what you must bear is surrender! Mother India commands you to live so you can go home and comfort your wives and make babies to heal the great wounds that have been torn in the heart of India today!"

  Some of her words and all of the meaning of her message were passed up and down the highway of corpses.

  She set the example by raising her hands and walking out beyond the wall of bodies, into the open. Of course no one shot at her, because no one had during the whole battle. But soon others joined her. They lined up on the same side of the corpse wall that she had chosen, leaving their weapons behind them.

  From out of the trees on both sides of the highway, wary Thai soldiers emerged, guns still at the ready. They were covered with sweat and the frenzy of killing was only just leaving them.

  Virlomi turned and looked behind her. Emerging from the trees on the other side of the road was Suriyawong. She walked back over the walls of corpses to meet him in the grass on the other side. They stopped when they were three paces apart.

  She gestured up and down the road. "So. This is your work."

  "No, Virlomi," he said sadly. "It's yours."

&nb
sp; "Yes," she said. "I know."

  "Will you come with me to tell the other two armies to stop fighting? They'll only give up when you tell them to."

  "Yes," she said. "Now?"

  "Phone them and see if they obey. If I try to lead you away right now, these soldiers will take up arms again to stop me. For some reason they still worship you."

  "In India we worship the Destroyer along with Vishnu and Brahma."

  "But I never knew that you served Shiva," said Suriyawong.

  She had no answer for him. She used her cellphone and made the calls. "They're trying to stop the men from fighting."

  Then there was silence between them for a while. She could hear the barked commands of the Thai soldiers, forming her men into small groups and beginning their march down the valley.

  "Aren't you going to ask about your husband?" said Suri.

  "What about him?"

  "Are you so sure your Muslim co-conspirators killed him, then?"

  "Nobody was going to kill him," she said. "They were only going to confine him until after the victory."

  Suri laughed bitterly. "You spent this long fighting the Muslims, Vir, and you still don't understand them any better than that? This isn't a chess game. The person of the king is not sacred."

  "I never sought his death."

  "You took away his power," said Suri. "He tried to stop you from doing this and you plotted against your own husband. He was a better friend to India than you ever were." His voice cracked with passion.

  "You cannot say anything to me that's crueller than what I am now saying to myself."

  "The girl Virlomi, so brave, so wise," said Suri. "Does she still exist? Or has the goddess destroyed her too?"

  "The goddess is gone," said Virlomi. "Only the fool, only the murderer remains."

  A field radio crackled at his waist. Something was said in Thai.

  "Please come with me now, Virlomi. One army is surrendering, but the other shot the officer you telephoned when he tried to give the order."

  A chopper approached them. Landed. They got on.

  In the air, Suriyawong asked her, "What will you do now?"

  "I'm your prisoner. What will you do?"

  "You're Peter Wiggin's prisoner. Thailand has joined the Free People."

  She knew what that would mean to Suriyawong. Thailand—even the name meant "land of the free." Peter's new "nation" had co-opted the name of Suriyawong's homeland. And now, his homeland would no longer be sovereign. They had given up their independence. Peter Wiggin would be master of all.

  "I'm sorry," she said.

  "Sorry? Because my people will be free within their borders, and there'll be no more wars?"

  "What about my people?" she asked.

  "You're not going back to them," said Suri.

  "How could I, even if you let me? How could I possibly face them?"

  "I was hoping that you would face them. By vid. To help undo some of the damage you've done today."

  "What could I possibly say or do?"

  "They still worship you. If you disappear now, if they never hear of you again, India will be ungovernable for a hundred years."

  Virlomi answered truthfully: "India has always been ungovernable."

  "Less governable than ever," said Suri. "But if you speak to them. If you tell them—"

  "I will not tell them to surrender to yet another foreign power, not after they've been conquered and occupied by Chinese and then Muslims!"

  "If you ask them to vote. To freely decide whether to live in peace, within the Free People—"

  "And give Peter Wiggin the victory?"

  "Why are you angry with Peter? What did he ever do but help you win your nation's freedom in every way that was possible to him?"

  It was true. Why was she so angry?

  Because he had beaten her.

  "Peter Wiggin," said Suriyawong, "has the right of conquest. His troops destroyed your army in combat. He showed mercy he didn't have to show."

  "You showed mercy."

  "I followed Peter's instructions," said Suriyawong. "He does not want any foreign occupiers in India. He wants the Muslims out. He wants only Indians to govern Indians. Joining the FPE means exactly that. A free India. But an India that doesn't need, and therefore doesn't have, a military."

  "A nation without an army is nothing," said Virlomi. "Any enemy can destroy them."

  "That's the Hegemon's work in the world. He destroys the aggressors, so peaceful nations can remain free. India was the aggressor. Under your leadership, India was the invader. Now, instead of punishing your people, he offers them freedom and protection, if they only give up their weapons. Isn't that Satyagraha, Vir? To give up what you once valued, because now you serve a greater good?"

  "Now you teach me about Satyagraha?"

  "Hear the arrogance in your voice, Vir."

  Abashed, she looked away from him.

  "I teach you about Satyagraha because I lived it for years. Hiding myself utterly so that I would be the one Achilles trusted in the moment when I could betray him and save the world from him. I had no pride at the end of that. I had lived in filth and shame for ... forever. But Bean took me back and trusted me. And Peter Wiggin acted as if he had known all along who I really was. They accepted my sacrifice.

  "Now I ask you, Vir, for your sacrifice. Your Satyagraha. Once you put everything on the altar of India. Then your pride nearly undid what you had accomplished. I ask you now, will you help your people live in peace, the only way that peace can be had in this world? By joining with the Free People of Earth?"

  She felt the tears streaming down her face.

  Like that day when she was making the video of the atrocities.

  Only today she was the one who had caused the deaths of all these Indian boys. They came here to die because they loved and served her. She owed their families something.

  "Whatever will help my people live in peace," she said, "I'll do."

  CHAPTER 25 — LETTERS

  From: Bean@Whereverthehelliam

  To: Graff%pilgrimage@colmin.gov

  Re: Did we actually do it?

  I can't believe you still have me hooked up to the nets. This continues by ansible after we're moving at relativistic speeds?

  The babies are fine here. There's room enough for them to crawl. A library big enough I think they won't lack for interesting reading or viewing material for... weeks. It will only be weeks, right?

  What I'm wondering is: did we do it? Did I fulfil your goal? I look at the map, and there's still nothing inevitable about it. Han Tzu gave his farewell speech, just like Vlad and Alai and Virlomi. Makes me feel cheated. They got to bid the world farewell before they disappeared into this good night. Then again, they had nations to try to sway. I never really had anybody who followed me. Never wanted them. That's the thing, I guess, that set me apart from the rest of the Jeesh—I was the only one who didn't wish I were Ender.

  So look at the map, Hyrum. Will they buy Han Tzu's plan of dividing China into six nations and all of them joining the Free Peoples? Or will they stay unified and still join? Or look for another Emperor? Will India recover from the humiliation of Virlomi's defeat? Will they follow her advice and embrace the FPE? Nothing's assured, and I have to go.

  I know, you'll tell me by ansible when anything interesting happens. And in a way, I don't care. I'm not going to be there, I'm not going to have any effect on it.

  In another way, I care even less than that. Because I never did care.

  Yet I also care with my whole heart. Because Petra is there with the only babies I actually wanted—the ones that don't have my defects. With me I have only the cripples. And my only fear is that I'll die before I've taught them anything.

  Don't be ashamed when you see your life coming to an end and you haven't found a cure for me yet. I never believed in the cure. I thought there was enough of a chance to take this leap into the night, and cure or not, I knew that I didn't want my defective children to live lon
g enough to make my mistake and reproduce, and keep this valuable, terrible curse going on, generation after generation. Whatever happens, it's all right.

  And then it occurs to me. What if Sister Carlotta was right? What if God is waiting for me with open arms? Then all I'm doing is postponing my reunion. I think of meeting God. Will it be like when I met my father and mother? (I almost wrote: Nikolai's parents.) I liked them. I wanted to love them. But I knew that Nikolai was the child she bore, the child they raised. And I was ... from nowhere. And for me, my father was a little girl named Poke, and my mother was Sister Carlotta, and they were dead. Who were these other people really?

  Will meeting God be like that? Will I be disappointed with the real thing, because I prefer the substitute I made do with?

  Like it or not, Hyrum, you were God in my life. I didn't invite you, I didn't even like you, but you kept MEDDLING. And now you've sent me into outer darkness with a promise to save me. A promise I don't believe you can keep. But at least YOU aren't a stranger. I know you. And I think that you honestly meant well. If I have to choose between an omnipotent God who leaves the world in this condition, and a God who has only a little bit of power but really cares and tries to make things better, I'll take you every time. Go on playing God, Hyrum. You're not bad at it. Sometimes you kind of get it right.

  Why am I writing like this? We can email whenever we want. The thing is, nothing's going to happen here, so I'll have nothing to tell you. And nothing you have to tell me is going to matter to me all that much, the farther I get from Earth. So this is the right time for these valedictories.