While he awaited his final orders to ride into the Black Hills for an extensive survey, Custer directed his troops to break camp and head for Fort Lincoln. It was said that Custer often raced off to visit with his wife just before a new mission was undertaken, and this new mission would prove to be his ultimate challenge.
The countryside was curiously peaceful. Custer was far away with his regiment, the Oglalas had moved secretly toward the Black Hills, their sacred Paha Sapa; Reis was completing his final reports; Amanda was enjoying the serenity of her love, and the new life growing within her.
Lucas wrote several articles and sent them back East. He also slaved over two manuscripts, one he had planned before coming here and one which had been inspired by recent experiences and lessons learned.
Miranda was nearly healed after two weeks of enforced rest and treatment. Only occasionally did a fading bruise or sensitive area remind her of her ordeal. But the more her body healed, the sicker her heart became, until she was in a fever to return to her love.
Miranda argued and cajoled to no avail. Reis and Lucas refused to take her back to the camp, and Amanda protested the idea fervently, relating Blaz ing Star's parting words to her. When Miranda reached the point of rebellion, Reis told her the Oglalas had moved west, far from this hazardous area.
"He's gone?" she shrieked. "No! He wouldn't leave without telling me good-byl" She desperately refuted the tormenting words. "He wouldn't leave until he was sure I was all right."
Reis calmly and patiently went over the circumstances and events of these past weeks. Amanda told her sister what Blazing Star had said that last day about the impossibility of a shared life. "I swear he's gone, Randy. I'm sorry," Reis said and Amanda concurred.
"Then I'll find himl" Miranda declared stubbornly.
"Do you realize how large this territory is? Do you realize what dangers await you out there?" Lucas reasoned. "I know."
Miranda fled in tears to the bedroom. Amanda looked at Reis, tears in her eyes. Reis shook his head, indicating there was nothing they could do to comfort or help her sister. This was one problem Miranda would have to solve for herself.
A telegram came for Lucas that week from a noted Boston publisher who wanted to meet with him and discuss his articles and the two works in progress. Lucas packed and was gone that same day, promising to contact them with any news, vowing he would become either an illustrious novelist or famed historian.
Another week passed. Reis told Miranda they should begin packing for the trip home to Alexandria. He then told her that after he filed his reports with President Grant, he and Amanda would be traveling to Texas to decide where they wanted to settle and build their home. He said they would sell the shipping firm and townhouse unless she wanted either or both. Miranda told them she did not want anything except Blazing Star.
Even the news of Amanda's pregnancy failed to lighten Miranda's gloomy spirits. What was there for. her in Virginia? Or anywhere? She did not want to work. She did not want to amuse herself frivolously. She certainly could not marry. Her heart was here with this land and the love who had deserted her.
Still another week passed. Miranda finally agreed she would leave with Reis and Amanda if she could see Blazing Star and be certain he did not want her. "If he says he doesn't love me, whether it's true or not, I will return to the plantation. You and Reis can have everything else."
Miranda left the cabin for some fresh air and serious thought. She could not force Blazing Star to love her. She could not deny the perils here. But there had been just as much danger back in Virginia, in socalled civilization. She could not intrude on Amanda's and Reis's lives. But no matter what decision Blazing Star might make, she would hear it face to face!
When Miranda returned to the cabin, the sight which greeted her was so totally astonishing that she fainted in shock. When she recovered, she found herself face to face with her parents! After an abundance of joyful embraces, Joe and Marie told the incredible tale of how they had been found and rescued by Reis's search party.
Amanda and Miranda stared at Reis Harrison. He explained how he had learned of their attempted abduction on the sloop and the disappearance of the "bodies" after the shipwreck in the South Seas. He revealed a conversation he had overheard in which Weber worried over the sinking of the vessel which had been taking them to the Far East where they were to be sold as slaves. Weber had ranted at McVane that he had not wanted to kill them mercifully but had wanted them to be tormented as slaves. Knowing how much they loved their daughters, Weber had known they would endure more anguish alive than dead.
McVane had declared that no survivors had been found, and he gave Weber the location of the sinking. On the chance Joe and Marie had survived and made it to an island, Reis had hired men to search the entire area. Joe and Marie had been located and returned to Alexandria where they learned of the recent events concerning Weber Richardson, Amanda's marriage, and these two trips west. They immediately followed their daughters, hoping to find them in order to deliver their joyous news in person.
The five talked for hours, exchanging tales. Every so often, the girls would jump up to hug their parents. It was a happy occasion despite the problems and dangers all had faced. But Marie Morning Star Lawrence was particularly intrigued by the dramas involving them and her people. Again and again, she insisted on hearing them.
Marie tried to envision the warrior whom she had not seen since he was four, the man who caused a mixture of joy and sadness in her daughter's eyes. There had been so many changes since she had left her father's teepee to marry Joseph Lawrence. She was pained by the deaths of her mother, brother, and so many relatives during the 1854 massacre. She asked Miranda countless questions.
Miranda's heart fluttered wildly when Marie asked Joe if she could see her father and her people before their return home. Marie cast her dark eyes upon her daughter's face and smiled. "There are those Randy and I must bid farewell one last time."
Miranda went to her mother and hugged her, for perhaps only Marie could truly understand her inner conflict. There were no words to express her love and appreciation. Marie looked down into the face which so closely resembled her own and teased, "You do wish to go with me? Since my father has smiled upon you, perhaps it will lessen his anger and bitterness toward me. He will be shocked to hear I am alive."
For everyone's protection, Reis suggested that he go to the new camp and bring Sun Cloud and Blazing Star to the old one to visit with them, if the two warriors agreed. Miranda glared at Reis when she realized her brother-in-law had known their location all along. He confessed contritely that he had promised not to reveal it to anyone, including and especially her.
Marie witnessed the devastating effect of Reis's enlightening words and unexpected admission on her chestnut-haired daughter. The tawny gaze which focused on Reis was filled with accusation, anger, sadness, and disbelief. Miranda hurriedly excused herself before she could verbally or physically attack her brother-in-law. When she left, Marie demanded to know the extent of the relationship and the problems existing between the warrior and her child. When Amanda and Reis completed their stories, she knew how Miranda must be suffering.
"Perhaps I shouldn't have suggested she go along to see him. I did not think of the impossibility of the situation." Marie looked at her husband, who smiled at her with love and tenderness. "We know her suffering and confusion, don't we, my love?" she whispered.
Joe nodded, recalling that complicated and arduous path too clearly. "This is different, Marie. You must understand that. War is costly and bloody. We can't allow her to remain here."
"I know," Marie concurred sadly. "It won't be easy for her. Perhaps we should return home in the morning," she generously suggested, her tone exposing her turmoil.
"It wouldn't help her if you sacrificed your desire to see your father," Joe answered. "Should we let her go with us? Won't it hurt too much to see him? You think he'll return to see her?" He addressed this last question to Reis.
"I honestly don't know, sir. He is in love with her. But he loves her too much, too unselfishly. He would lose her rather than risk her life," Reis confided to them. "He wants her to leave as much as he wants her to stay. He could be afraid to see her, afraid of weakening in his decision."
"I can understand the pain of that dilemma," Marie stated softly. "I will speak with her. Perhaps I can persuade her not to go."
The mother-daughter talk failed to deter Miranda from making the journey. How could Marie convince Miranda a mixed marriage would not work when she and Joe were living proof that it could? But times had changed; antagonism had increased. Life was precarious here. But love did not see such obstacles. That night, the women shared the bedroom and more conversation, while Reis and Joe bunked in the living area.
Two weeks later, four people rode from the cabin to the campsite deserted by the Oglalas of ter the death of Bloody Arrow. Marie and Reis had insisted the pregnant Amanda remain behind at the cabin in safety and comfort. Reis had contacted Sun Cloud and set up this crucial and emotional meeting. When they arrived at the assigned location, there were four men waiting for them. Three braves were sitting around a campfire as protection for the elderly exchief, and Sun Cloud was sitting alone not far away. When Marie dismounted, she hesitated only moments before racing toward her father. After em bracing affectionately and filling the quiet air with joyful laughter, they sat down upon buffalo hides to talk. Sometime later Reis, Joe, and Miranda joined the reunited father and daughter. After Miranda had had a chance to speak with her grandfather, she insisted on taking a walk alone. Knowing their daughter needed privacy to master her warring emotions, Marie and Joe did not try to stop her. Obviously, Blazing Star had not come; his painful decision was evident to all.
When Reis tried to comfort Miranda, she pulled away from him. "You're the last person who should try to console me. You lied to me, Reis; you used me and betrayed my trust and friendship. It wasn't your right to withhold the truth from me. My destiny isn't in your hands. You can't make my decisions or control my life. I'll never forgive you for duping me. I need time alone, away from traitors. Please don't follow me. I'll return before Mama's ready to leave."
"Please listen to me, Randy," he entreated earnestly. "I promised Blazing Star I would hold silent, What kind of man would I be if I betrayed a promise? I had no right to interfere either way."
"Aren't you forgetting how I assisted your romance and conquest of my sister? When you pleaded for my help and interference, I didn't hold silent or keep my promise to her. You know why, Reis? Because I knew you two loved and needed each other. I doubt you two would be happily wed right now if I had retained my honorable silence," she sneered sarcastically. "After all I've done to help you with my people and my sister, you damn well owed me your help! Whether you agree or not, you have interfered in my destiny! You're selfish and insensitive."
When Reis made no attempt to justify his behavior, Miranda fled into the forest to the stream and followed its winding bank until she was assured of privacy. She halted, staring into the swirling water just below a small cascade. He was not coming. Did he even know or care if she was alive; she had left this camp injured and unconscious. He had not checked on her. He had not sent word to her. He had simply ridden out of her life as if she meant little or nothing to him.
Anguish assailed her. Tears silently rolled down her cheeks. She removed the wanapin and stared at it. "What a stupid, blind fool you are, Miranda Lawrence. Blazing Star never loved me. He never cared about me. I could have died by now for all he knew or cared. It was all lies to trick me to his mat. How he must laugh at me now. Why did he have to be so cruel? Why did he want to hurt me and punish me? How he must hate me to do this to me. Oh, God, it hurts so much," she cried out, flinging the necklace into the stream.
"Damn you, you traitor! You could have the decency and courage to tell me the truthl You never loved me! You were only using me. You didn't even care enough to say good-by," she sneered sarcastically. "Why, Blazing Star? Why must you punish me for loving you? You owe me the truth. Damn you, you owe me the truth!"
She sank to her knees and cried. When the tender word "Tamaha" was spoken, she did not know it was real. Her heart was aching; her world seemed to be ending. "Why did you betray me? I can't live without you," she sobbed raggedly into her palms.
Two strong hands imprisoned her head and lifted it, and ebony eyes gazed into her tormented expression. "Do not weep, Tamaha. Your words are untrue. I told you it could not be between us. Why do you come here to torment us this way? Return home with your family."
"You've been hiding?" she asked angrily as the stunning reality settled into her warring mind. He had come to protect Sun Cloud, but he was not going to tell her good-byl Did she mean nothing to him?
"I thought it best if we did not see each other again. You must go, Tamaha. I did not lie. I told you it was impossible," he stated sadly.
"You did liel Your lips said no, but your eyes said yes. Your. words said it could not be, but your heart shouted yes each time we touched! I thought you loved me, but I was a fool. I don't need your pity! Go back to your wars and hatred! Make love to your pride and coupsl just leave me alone. You were right-is that what you want to hear? Will it soothe your conscience? End all guilt? I did chase you like a she-dog; isn't that what you called me? I pursued you because I loved you. Because I thought you loved me too. What a fool I am not to have realized what you've been telling me all along; you don't love me or want me. The least you can do, great warrior, is tell the truth. You owe me an explanation. Say it, Blazing Start Tell me you don't love me and free me from these golden dreams which you helped create."
Her anguish pierced his soul like sharp lances. How could he end it without pain? "I did not mean to hurt you, Tamaha. I tried to speak in truth to you. I said our life-circles could not join," he reminded her gently.
"But you did hurt me. Was I supposed to believe your words when your loving touch proved them false? How could I have been so wrong about you, Blazing Star? I promised I would go, but for once, tell me the truth. Is it difficult to say you don't love me?"
"I cannot, Tamaha. It would be a lie," he informed her bluntly. "You promised to go, but you have not. Why did you come again? Must you cut my heart with the knifing words of farewell?"
"I don't understand your game, Blazing Star. If you loved me, you would not treat me this way. Love isn't selfish or cruel. If you loved me, nothing and no one could keep us apart." She stood up and turned to leave. "If I could not have your love, why did you tempt me with it each time we met? If you loved me, how could you take all I had to give, then force me to leave with nothing left? If you wished to protect my life, then why have you destroyed it? How can you be the center of my life-circle, then claim it is not ..."
She could not finish. She just started walking slowly along the stream bank. Finally she stopped and sat down, propping her chin on a large rock. "No, Blazing Star, you are wrong. Love is not cruel. Love does not punish or destroy. Love isn't sad or painful. Love doesn't betray or desert. Not when it's shared. Not when it's real. No, my deceitful warrior, you do not love me. But I love you with all my being."
"Have you learned nothing here? Do you refuse to see the hatred and dangers around you, refuse to see why we must part? You wish the truth, Tamaha? Then I will tell you, and it will hurt. But it will change nothing. I will make you leave," he declared stubbornly.
He sat down beside her, fusing his gaze to hers. "You are white, Miranda; I am Oglala. I am Indian," he began.
"I am half Oglala, half Indian," she corrected him, noticing which name he was calling her. But something in his tone and expression compelled her to listen, to delve deeper into his meaning.
"You were born white and raised white. You cannot change," he replied. "Even so, it is too late to become Indian. We are at war."
"I am not your enemy, Blazing Star, nor any Indian's. Must I be viewed as one because my father is white?" she implored him. "Must yo
u punish me for what I cannot change? Must you reject me?"
"If you become more Indian than white, you are your own worst enemy, Miranda." He observed her increasing confusion. He tried to explain. "White and Indian are at war, a war for the destruction of one side. You are half of each. What happens when one side fiercely battles the other? Or your heart wars against your mind? To become Oglala, you must become all Indian in thought and action. Ask Morning Star about such a life between two separate people. Ask Morning Star of the pain of such a choice," he challenged gravely. "Ask how her Indian blood felt when she learned her brother and mother were slain by her husband's kind? Ask how she felt knowing whites were slain in retaliation? Ask how she feels when she knows she can never return here, for she has chosen the white world. If you chose my world and love, you could never return to your father's kind. If your white friends come to slay us, I will battle them. How can you endure this?"
"The war must end someday, Blazing Star," she asserted.
"It will not, Tamaha. It will not until all Indians are wiped out or conquered. The whites and bluecoats will not allow it," he refuted.
"But Reis will help, Blazing Star," she argued hopefully.
"What is one drop of rain upon such a roaring fire?" He caressed her cheek as he entreated, "What of your white friends and family? What of their deaths at Indian hands during this endless war? What of losing all you have and have ever known to become Oglala? To choose me and the Oglalas, you must do such things, for we have vowed to battle to the death against the white man's evil and greed. You speak of knowing such troubles; you speak of understanding such a choice. But you do not, Tamaha. When you realize what you have done, what you have lost, it will be too late. You have not seen torture and slaughter. You have not witnessed the draining of pride and strength. We are weary of the fighting and killing, but they give us no choice. They will not accept peace without defeat and dishonor. They demand the surrender of our land, our freedom, our dignity, our spirit, our way of lifel Is any peace or survival worth such a price, Tamaha?"
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