Strongholds

by Vanessa Davis Griggs

  The next morning she awoke and was getting ready for work. Edwin got up, walked up behind her while she was in the bathroom, and placed a kiss on her neck.

  “Good morning, Baby-cakes,” Edwin said in his most pleasant voice.

  Desiree couldn’t understand how he could wake up acting as though last night never happened. “Where were you last night?”

  He stopped and looked at her. “No good morning back?”

  Desiree turned around completely and stared at him to let him know she was not in the mood to play. “Edwin, where were you last night?”

  He smiled. “See, you just can’t help but ruin my surprise. Okay, since you just have to.” He pulled a wad of money out of his bathrobe pocket and placed it in her hand. “This, my dear, is for you.”

  Desiree looked at the money he’d just given her. “What is this?”

  “Wow, it’s been that long since you’ve seen the real thing, huh? I suppose that’s what happens when everybody goes electronic. Direct deposit, debit cards, charge cards, checks, on-line bill paying. That, Baby-cakes, is what is called cash.”

  Desiree cocked her head to the side without cracking a smile. “I know this is cash. Where did it come from?”

  “It came from me to you. I want you to take it. That’s three hundred dollars you hold there. Buy yourself something really nice. You’ve worked so hard and lost quite a lot of weight in the last month. I think that deserves some kind of a reward,” Edwin said.

  “Once more. Where did you get this from, Edwin?”

  He huffed and walked into the bedroom. “What difference does it make where I got it from? The point is I’m giving it to you.”

  She followed him. “The point is you’re not supposed to be gambling anymore. And this is a lot of money, which I’m sure if you’re giving me this much it means you have even more than this. Which means, you probably went to the dog track last night.”

  “Do you want to know what your problem is? You’ve become such a nag, you don’t even know when to turn it off. Okay, so I went to the track last night. It’s been over a month, and I haven’t gone anywhere near a track or anywhere else where I could gamble. But yesterday, I kept running into the same numbers: six, one, eight. Everywhere I turned those numbers were popping up in my face. I took it as a sign. And you know what, last night I won! And I won big, too. I played those numbers and ended up hitting a trifecta.”

  “So why was it after one this morning before you got home?”

  “Because, as it turned out, I had to play almost every race in order to hit it. But I didn’t use a lot of money. And the only thing I played was those three numbers. I boxed them and played them straight. It cost me six dollars a race to box them and two dollars to play them straight: eight dollars all total. But I promised myself I was not going to veer from my plan. I also made a deal with God that if those numbers didn’t come in, I was through with gambling forever.” He grabbed Desiree’s hand and took the money he’d just given her out of it. Holding the bills up to her face, he said, “But I won! Can’t you see? And the only person I was thinking about was you and how great you’ve been even through your own problems. You stuck to your guns. You haven’t smoked, that I know of anyway, and just look at you…slimming all down. What did you tell me? Two whole dress sizes?”

  Desiree walked away.

  “Woman, what is your problem? You’ve worked so hard to stop smoking and overeating. Look at yourself, Baby-cakes. Just look at you. We’ve walked together almost every day. I’ve seen how hard it’s been for you to resist things that aren’t good for you. I wanted to win this money for you. I wanted you to know how proud I am of you and just how much I love you.”

  Desiree stopped and turned around. “You didn’t do that for me, Edwin. So don’t try and make yourself feel better about having taken your first official slide back, possibly to your old, destructive ways.”

  “Look, I went one time. It’s been over a month. Going to the track one time doesn’t mean I have a problem. Can’t you just give me credit for all I’ve accomplished, like I’ve done with you? Do you have any idea how hard staying away from the track and the casinos has been for me these past weeks?”

  “Which only proves my point, Edwin. Anytime something is that hard, it means it’s a stronghold. Sure, I’ll give you credit. I’ll be the first one to give you your due. You went a whole month without gambling. It was hard, but you did it. And I was so proud of you. But the fact remains: you couldn’t resist going last night. What’s going to keep you from going again tonight or tomorrow night or the night after that and the night after that?”

  “It was for fun! It doesn’t mean I’m going back into any trap. If God had wanted me out of it for good, He could have ensured I lost. But I won with numbers that came to me as though they were from God. I won!”

  “Edwin, don’t put God in this. You had some numbers. You went to the track. You won with those numbers. Think about it: if I were your enemy trying to pull you back into something that will hurt you later down the road, what would be the best way to do that?”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “I’m saying if I were Satan and I wanted to get you back into the same trap I knew you’d prayed about getting out of, I’d do just what happened last night. I would put thoughts in your mind. Convince you to take a step to see if it would work. I’d ensure you won that time, because one leads to two.” She walked back over to him and took the money he’d given her. “Edwin, why don’t you just keep this money. Because I have a feeling if you continue on the path you’re on now, you’re going to need this a lot more than I will. And just for the record: I’ll be handling the bills from here on out. So if you get yourself in too deep, you won’t end up taking us both down with you this time around.” She crammed the money into his hand and walked out of the room.

  “You are a trip!” Edwin said. “A trip! I don’t have a problem, Desiree. I go to the track one time in a month and you blow everything all out of proportion. You don’t want the money? Fine! I’ll keep it then.” He shoved the money back into his bathrobe pocket. “I don’t have a problem. Do you hear me?” he yelled at her as he watched her disappear down the stairs. “I might have had one earlier, but I have things under control now.”

  He walked back into the bedroom. “Women!”

  Chapter 12

  And I will come down and talk with thee there: and I will take of the spirit which is upon thee, and will put it upon them; and they shall bear the burden of the people with thee, that thou bear it not thyself alone.

  —Numbers 11:17

  Pastor Landris was tired. He’d been working a bit longer because of the increase in appointments the congregation had been scheduling since he finished the series on strongholds. There were others, ministers and trained laypeople, on staff who were also available to counsel. But for some reason, most people still preferred to talk to him. No matter how the staff told those who called that there were others just as good, capable, and competent as Pastor Landris in this area (if not better), there was just something about them being able to talk with “their pastor” that permeated throughout the congregation. Pastor Landris was allowing appointments later in the evening and nights as well as half of Saturdays, just to accommodate the increased demand.

  “Landris, you know you can’t keep this up,” forty-four-year-old Johnnie Mae said when she watched him practically fall asleep while eating supper one night.

  “This won’t last forever. What else can I do?”

  “Well, let’s evaluate this objectively. I’m pregnant, and you’re missing out on a good part of that because you’re staying later at the church to handle everything you’re being required to do. You’re too tired to spend time with, let alone enjoy, your own family—which have I mentioned lately?—is about to grow to one more person come this August.” She gently patted her four-and-a-half-month pregnant stomach. “I’m not trying to tell you what to do, but Landris, if you’re not careful, you’re goi
ng to end up a byproduct of your own sermon.”

  “Meaning?”

  “Okay, you were teaching on strongholds. I’d say you could possibly be embarking on one if not two of those you emphasized during your teaching: the workaholic who neglects himself and his family and religious tradition.”

  “What?”

  “You’re neglecting your health by not getting enough rest because you’re extending your time at the church. That’s fine, but is that wisdom? You’re neglecting your family because of the time you’re taking away from us so you can extend your time to work at the church. I’m not complaining, but I am reminded of the scripture where Moses’s father-in-law, Jethro, in Exodus eighteen-fourteen asked him: ‘What is this thing you’re doing to the people? why sittest thou thyself alone, and all the people stand by you from morning unto evening?’ Moses thought he should be the one listening to everyone’s problems and concerns and giving counsel, but the line was always huge and the people waited so long just to be able to talk to him. Moses’s father-in-law suggested he choose others for the people to go to, so as to take some responsibility off Moses, and that wouldn’t cause the people to go through such hardship just to get the help they so desperately needed.”

  “We already have others on staff who counsel, but for some reason, people still insist they would rather speak to their pastor, in this case me. For some reason, they don’t want to make appointments with the others available to them, some of whom they could see that same day if not the very next,” Pastor Landris said.

  “That leads me to the second of the two strongholds: religious traditions. You and seemingly all of these members believe that the pastor should be available to all the people of the congregation at all times. That’s fine when it’s a small group, but have you checked the count of the membership recently? Since we moved into the new building, the place is practically full both services. There is no way one man—meaning you—can keep up a tradition of being everywhere; attending every thing; performing every wedding, funeral, baby house and car dedication; going to see every person who’s sick or has lost loved ones; teach, preach, and counsel every member of this church. No way is this humanly possible. At least, not that I see. Is that fair to the people? Is it fair to you?”

  “And more importantly, is it fair to my own family?” Pastor Landris said.

  “It’s about balance. You just need to be sure there’s balance in your life. You’re human, Landris, not God. As for your family, I believe we’ll be okay, but that’s not the point I’m trying to make here. I don’t want to lose you to a heart attack or stroke either.”

  “No, even though I’m the pastor, if I’m not careful and if I continue on this track, I’m going to find myself having to make an appointment to get some counseling myself. Even preachers—I clearly see now—have to be alert to what’s really going on.”

  “So, what are you planning to do?”

  Pastor Landris looked toward the window. “I suppose I need to address this with the congregation. I believe when we take the time to teach and explain things better, people understand it better. I’ll just have to have a heart-to-heart talk with them about what’s really going on and see if I can’t get them to understand that we do have people in place to meet their needs. And that my not being able to counsel every single member personally doesn’t mean I don’t love them any less. In fact, because of my love for them, I want them to get assistance and have their needs met as quickly as humanly possible. It’s not fair for them to have to wait for months to be able to talk with me when they could speak with someone in a few days and resolve what’s going on in their lives that much quicker. I need to persuade them to agree to speak with those we have prayerfully appointed and anointed into these positions.”

  “You do understand the problems this will likely cause though. If you counsel some and not others, people will accuse you of favoritism. So, I think you need to consider how you approach this and try to alleviate those types of accusations in advance.”

  “In the past, my decision was: whatever I did for one, I should do for all or not do for anybody at all. But it wouldn’t be fair for me to not see anyone because I can’t see everyone. I’ll really have to pray about how to implement this,” Pastor Landris said.

  “I spoke with Sarah Fleming today. Just briefly. I feel so bad for her. Three and a half years and she still hasn’t been able to catch up with her daughter. She turns ninety this year. I just don’t know how much longer she has—” Johnnie Mae placed her hand on her stomach.

  “What is it?” Pastor Landris asked, seeing his wife had stopped talking in midsentence.

  Johnnie Mae reached down and took his hand. She placed it firmly on her stomach and waited. “There. Did you feel it?” she said with a smile.

  Pastor Landris bucked his eyes and started laughing. “That was the baby? The baby kicked? Oh, my goodness, I felt our baby kick!”

  Johnnie Mae laughed. “Yeah. The baby kicked last night and I wanted you to feel it, but you were still at church. That’s what I mean. I suppose if you’re not careful, even being a man of God, you may miss out on some true blessings from the Lord.”

  Pastor Landris continued to hold his hand on her stomach, hoping to feel another kick. “I get it. I think people believe because we preach something it means we have mastered it and that we have all the answers. Even we ministers need to listen to the sermons and practice what we preach.” He smiled. “Oh, wow! I felt it again! Man, this is so awesome!” He leaned down close to her stomach. “Hey there! Can you hear me in there? This is your father speaking. Daddy’s going to have to do a little better out here. I can’t wait to meet you. Keep on kicking, little one. Keep on kicking.”

  “Oh yeah. That’s easy for Daddy to say,” Johnnie Mae said as she looked down and smiled. “Daddy doesn’t have a clue how big you’re going to get inside there before you make your grand debut.” She took Pastor Landris’s hand and held it as she looked into his hazelnut-colored eyes. “But don’t you worry,” she said to the baby, although her eyes remained on Pastor Landris, “you’ll have plenty of opportunities to jump on Daddy.”

  Pastor Landris smiled, then leaned over and kissed her. “Plenty.” He grinned even more.

  Chapter 13

  Again, the kingdom of heaven is like unto a merchant man, seeking goodly pearls.

  —Matthew 13:45

  “Hi, Xavier. It’s Sapphire.”

  “Sapphire. To what do I owe the pleasure?” Dr. Holden said.

  “Just checking on you and seeing how things are going.”

  “A week and a half and I’m actually learning how to spend time with my family. It’s amazing how hard it can be to kick back, relax, and just have some fun. I’ve been conditioned all of my adult life to work. I had to learn how to sit still and enjoy myself. It’s like I convinced myself to believe that I had to forever be doing something in order to prove my worth to the world. I’ve learned these past few weeks, there are other things in life besides work, and I’m worth it because I am.”

  “Physician, heal thyself,” Sapphire said. “I’m sure this has been quite an adjustment for you.”

  “And I’m sure you didn’t merely call just to check on me. So—how’s everything back in good old B-ham?”

  “Things are going pretty well here. A lot of your patients weren’t too happy when they learned you really were taking off this time and that you were serious about other people filling in for you. A few of them threatened to track you down and drag you back. But when I counseled them on how crazy that actually sounded, they decided I was right and changed their tune.”

  He laughed. “Leave it to you.”

  “So are you still planning to stay the entire three weeks like you said?”

  “Absolutely. This is one of many promises I’ve made to my wife that I’m definitely going to keep. It has been such a joy spending time with my family. I don’t know what I was thinking about before. When I consider all the time and experiences I’ve mi
ssed out on with my family while chasing the almighty dollar…now that’s what’s really crazy. I think it’s true what people say about when we reach the end of our lives. We’re not going to regret not having spent more time at the office; we’re going to wish we’d spent more time with the ones we loved. I don’t want that regret hanging over my head. In fact, I think I’m going to see what I can do to redeem some of the time I’ve already lost. I just may take off another week or two. The kids are all homeschooled, so hey.”

  “I hear you, Xavier. Listen though, if and when you do decide to return to work, I need to be placed pretty high up on your ‘got to get with as soon as possible’ list.”

  “What’s up?”

  “Charity, Faith, however not too much Hope.”

  He laughed. “The blessed Trinity. It sounds so funny the way you said it, though. ‘Charity, Faith, however not too much Hope.’ Like you’re being prophetic or something.”

  “You know what I’m dealing with. Anyway, I don’t intend to make you break your no-work-while-you’re-vacationing-and-spending-time-with-your-family rule. This will keep until your return. Meanwhile, Faith is insisting she’ll talk to you and only you. She maintains she’ll tell you what transpired with Charity. I told her it would be a while before you came back, but she declared she’s more than willing to wait on your imminent return.”

  “Still doesn’t like you, huh?”

  Sapphire laughed. “That’s putting it mildly. It’s funny. Charity adores me. Hope likes me just fine. But Faith can’t stand to be in the same room with me. I have such an interesting job. Listen, I’m going to get off the phone and let you get back to your family. Tell Avis and the children I said hello. You guys have lots of fun for all of us overworked stiffs who have no idea when we’ll get some time off.”

  “Will do. But you really need to try this rest and relaxation thing. It is so cool! Oh, and thanks, Sapphire, for checking in on me and for making life so much easier for me, knowing that my patients are at least in loving, capable hands even sans me.”