Always Pack a Party Dress: And Other Lessons Learned From a (Half) Life in Fashion

by Amanda Brooks

  Giving Zach a hug as Christopher drives us around the farm in an old Land Rover. I live in this Proenza Schouler T-shirt in England.

  I have also had the occasional encounters with the fashion industry in wonderfully unexpected ways. After following me on Instagram, my good friend Jenna Lyons rang me up to ask if J.Crew could shoot their catalogue on our farm, and include us in it to boot! I couldn’t have been any more flattered or excited. The only bummer is that it turned out Zach and I would be in New York when they came. He had been looking forward to two weeks of summer camp at Chelsea Piers and I didn’t have the heart to cancel for a photo shoot. I felt good about my decision (and still do), despite the extra pang when Christopher and Coco ended up on the cover!

  The J.Crew cover featuring Coco and Christopher and some of our horses, shot at the farm, 2013.

  I also recently did a photographic collaboration with Zara. Every month for five months, they would send me a pile of the newest Zara clothes and I would take personal still lifes and self-portraits of the clothes in an environment of my choosing (mostly at the farm). This was particularly satisfying as it included fashion, photography, and the farm—all the elements of the new me. Not to mention that working with Zara brought me happily back to my Contempo Casual days, when my style was defined by a thirst for self-definition through fashion, albeit on a limited budget. These acknowledgments from the fashion world have beautifully brought together my old life with my new one and given me hope that it is possible to integrate fashion back into my world on my own terms.

  My least-expected fashion encounter that has happened since I left Barneys was—as Oprah would say—my “full-circle moment” with Patrick Demarchelier. I got a call from art director Doug Lloyd, who was casting real women to be photographed for Bottega Veneta’s jewelry line. I accepted, proud to be included in the group of inspiring women (Anh Duong and Garance Doré, among others) he had assembled, and couldn’t have been happier when I received the call sheet and discovered that Patrick would be taking my portrait. When the day came, I went back to the same studio I had worked in sixteen years before, and everything was pretty much the same. I sat in the same hair and makeup chairs in front of the same mirrors. And when I walked onto the familiar set, Patrick and I had the giggles for quite some time. Patrick asked me if I wanted to load the film or adjust the lights before we began. And in typical Patrick fashion, the whole shoot was over in about three minutes. Did I feel important that day? Not really. I felt empowered that I had been chosen in my own right, not because I was representing a company I had worked for. But oddly, I felt much like my twenty-two-year-old self—lucky to be there, happy for the experience.

  My modeling moment for Bottega Veneta jewelry, 2012.

  Speaking of feeling twenty-two again, I often feel that way these days. I am living off a fraction of the salary I made at Barneys, yet my life has never felt more abundant. When I think about the future of my career, I feel I have been given the chance to start over from that right-out-of-college moment, but with the benefit of all I have learned. I have posted a quote I saw on Instagram above my desk. It reads, “If you don’t build your dream, someone else will hire you to build theirs.” I know I have my own dream in me, and I am using the time I have here on the farm to define and refine it until I am ready to make it come to life. This past year I turned forty. I feel grateful to have so many experiences under my belt, but with a lot of life still ahead of me. Sometimes when I feel anxious to know what the future holds, I remind myself of the many successful woman, like DVF, who have launched or relaunched themselves well into their forties and fifties.

  Right now, I want to be fully present and available to my kids while they are still at home. We don’t have a nanny. I get Zach up (Coco is now at boarding school with her horse!) and give him breakfast. Christopher and I share the school run. I make dinner, and we both hang out with him before bedtime. Our increased involvement in life at home (and closer proximity) mean that Christopher and I bicker more than we used to, but we also share such a greater sense of responsibility and pride as parents. We are a team, and I feel closer to him than I ever have. On our occasional night out, Christopher’s mother often looks after the kids, or their friends’ parents are more than willing to have them over. I can’t imagine calling friends in New York and asking them to have my child spend the night during the school week.

  I also have come to realize how much I enjoy time alone. I love riding my horse in silence, driving around in my car listening to music, spending long hours in my office with no one to talk to and no phone calls coming in. I don’t even have a phone in my office. I now marvel at how I spent nearly two decades in New York with so little time to myself, if any at all.

  Teaching a hen chick how to fly on the farm, 2014. Photo by Coco Brooks.

  When Sheryl Sandberg’s book, Lean In, came out, I couldn’t face buying it or reading it, despite the raves from many friends. Why did I feel threatened by the idea of having it all? Was it because I thought that I couldn’t have it all? Or because I had it all already? While many people would look at my life now and say that I definitely have it all—I am so grateful to have a wonderful family, a beautiful farm to live on, self-employment, flexibility—I know that my career has another chapter somewhere in the future. I am a working girl, always have been. What I do realize is that it’s possible to have it all, but over a lifetime. Having it all at once? I know myself well enough to say I couldn’t enjoy it all piled on simultaneously. Besides, what’s the rush? It’s nice to have something to look forward to.

  SIDEBAR

  MY GREATEST HITS

  MY TEN BEST PIECES OF CLOTHING

  Céline Men’s Tailored Shirt

  As I have a pretty narrow, straight-up-and-down frame, shirts with darts (those seams that transform a masculine-styled shirt into a feminine shape) do not suit me. I like button-down shirts as they were intended—a relaxed shape and perhaps one size too big, as if borrowed from my husband. I also prefer them to be made of a substantial fabric—not too thick—but of enough quality that the collar holds its shape and the cuffs can be casually rolled up and stay in position. In this regard, Céline makes the perfect button-down shirts for me. I have three—all traditional stripes—and in slightly different styles: One has a tab collar, one is longer, and the other is more fitted. I got two of them at the Céline outlet store and the third on sale at Barneys when I worked there. There’s nothing to say that my views on men’s tailored shirts will be the same as yours, but I believe every woman should have a well-cultivated point of view on what shirt shape, fabric, and style works best for her body and her look.

  Goldsign Jeans

  Finally! Finally I have found a jeans brand that looks good, is comfortable (i.e., the right amount of stretch), and has styling that I like (no back pocket decoration or other obvious branding). I first discovered them at J.Crew, when they did a collaboration with the brand. There I bought a pair of perfect cropped white jeans for the summer. White jeans are difficult to get right because, among all the other factors we are all so picky about, they can also be see-through in the wrong places. Despite cutting out the front pockets (I always do that with white jeans), these jeans are perfect in all regards. I also recently found a blue pair that are subtly worn in all the right places but with no holes, and they have a great shape—they are narrow and full length, but I wear them with a two-inch roll at the bottom so they show off my shoes—sandals in the summer, boots in the winter.

  Chanel Faux-Crocodile Jacket

  When I was in New York, Chanel was my go-to resource for borrowing something fabulous for a party. I know. Lucky me! The Chanel PR girls are so lovely and well mannered, and they always were happy to watch me try on dresses and blouses and accessories and tell me their opinion. Occasionally, I’d get really lucky and be told I could keep a sample piece that I particularly loved that the press office felt they no longer needed. This was how the best jacket
I have ever owned fell into my hands. It’s a tiny little thing—whenever I first put it on I’m always shocked by how restricting it is. The sleeves are narrow, the armholes are high, and the material—a glazed linen in a croc pattern that looks like printed leather but is not—is unforgiving. But it just looks so good on. It’s cropped just above the hipbone and it has the most intricate, detailed, and feminine seaming that creates just the slightest hint of a peplum. I have worn this jacket with everything from white jeans and black ballet flats to a vintage Peruvian party skirt and red Louboutin sandals. Whenever I’m going to a party and I need a little something to cover my shoulders, or to dress down a look or to dress up a look, the little Chanel jacket is the perfect thing.

  J.Crew Cashmere V-Neck Sweater

  Everyone has their sweater shape, and for me it’s the V-neck. I like the versatility of wearing it with nothing underneath for a sexier look, and with a collared shirt underneath for a tomboy look. I always buy the same shape from J.Crew—it’s traditional and straightforward—and in a women’s size large. As with men’s-styled shirts, I like the loose-fitting casual look. I tend to choose my sweaters in neutral colors—gray, navy, oatmeal—although this winter I went with teal. I was thrilled with the color at first but quickly grew tired of it—which reminds me that when buying things that are classic (meaning I plan to keep them in my closet for at least five years), it’s best to stick with classic colors. These are my basics, so they need to be versatile. There are plenty of other areas—shoes, bag, shirt—to get my hit of fashion impact if need be.

  Balmain Army Green Pea Coat

  I knew I was leaving Barneys a couple of months before I actually got up the courage to resign. I was acutely aware that once I left, I’d be leaving a big salary behind and I would have to live way more frugally than I was used to, especially as I was planning to move to England and didn’t have any immediate work plans. So I put myself on a shopping moratorium. After a year of free-for-all shopping with my healthy discount, I told myself not to buy one more thing and start saving. Now. But then I saw this jacket. I had been admiring it for months. It was an army green wool military pea coat by Balmain, and it was more than $5,000. Now that’s just silly money. Even if I had all the money in the world, I don’t think I could bring myself to spend that much money on a wool coat. But I kept my eye on it, thinking that most people in their right mind would agree with me, and perhaps it would go on sale. Sale time came and the coat price went down by 40 percent. Combined with my 35 percent discount, it would still come to $1,950. Not doing it. A month later, it went down to 50 percent off. Still not enough. Then, the final week that I was at work, I got a message from my salesperson saying that the coat had been reduced to 75 percent off. Faced with the possibility of getting a $5,000 coat for just over $800, I was seduced but still not convinced. I had promised myself I wouldn’t buy another thing. But then I thought of all those cold, rainy, foggy autumn and winter days I’d face in England. And how many of my beautiful clothes I’d have to give away or leave behind in storage in New York as I ventured off on my new farm life with very limited closet space. And I thought of how perfectly this one piece of stunning yet discreet design would fit into my English lifestyle and dress up the jeans, plaid shirt, and wellies. I knew I’d be likely to wear it every day. So I bought the coat. It’s been everything I hoped it would be and more. I’ve worn it to the school run, to London for meetings, to shoot weekends at friends’ houses, for Sunday walks, and it’s always kept me just one step away from feeling like the country bumpkin I’ve become.

  Proenza Schouler T-Shirts

  If you’re a young fashion design brand, and you’re smart, you know you have to design certain items within your collection that become your “bread and butter”—the seasonal basics that become staples in a woman’s wardrobe long after the trends have moved on, and that keep them coming back for more. For most brands, it’s a tailored trouser or a signature cardigan, but in the case of Proenza Schouler, they found longevity in a printed T-shirt. Each season they take the one print, stripe, or design that sums up what the fashion season is about for them, and they put it on a T-shirt. It’s a casual way of acknowledging the season’s trend without breaking the bank. One season it’s tie-dye, then it’s stripes, then it’s a Navajo print, then it’s zigzags. Over time I have managed to build up a little collection of these T-shirts, and they remain front and center in my closet year after year. I find them so useful. As most of my clothes these days are neutral in color and classic in cut, my PS T-shirts add just a touch of personality when I am in danger of being too safe and boring.

  My Alaïa Skirt

  Another splurge—but one I don’t regret—from my Barneys days. I never thought of myself as a person who would walk into a store and buy something from Azzedine Alaïa. Of course, I am huge fan and admirer, but I just hadn’t ever been able to relate to being able to afford to spend that much on any one piece of clothing. But there I was at Barneys, a few months into the job, and my paycheck had just arrived. I had gotten through the first month of fashion shows, had settled into my new routine, and wanted to reward myself with something good. I can’t tell you how much fun it was to walk through the store having given myself the permission to indulge. I knew I wasn’t going to go crazy and buy a fur or some over-the-top embellished piece, but I knew I was looking for an investment piece, let’s say. First I went to Céline, my favorite brand, but all the best pieces there were classic basics and I wanted to buy something that made an impact. After looking over the racks throughout the store, I came to the Alaïa section. His fall collection that year was particularly good. I loved the ultrafeminine shapes done in more masculine colors like burgundy and hunter green. My eye landed on a skirt in hunter green and black zebra stripe. I can’t tell you what the fabric was other than that it was a lush, stretchy woven knit that felt like velvet when I touched it. The shape was fitted from the waist and over the hips and then flared out toward the hem, hitting just below my knee. It was the most luxurious and feminine thing I had ever put on my body. I loved it, and I have never regretted buying it for a second. I have it here with me in England and I actually wear it more here than I did in New York. With a silk camisole and my Chanel jacket, it’s perfect for a fashion event in London; with a chunky sweater, it’s great for a cozy Saturday night dinner in the country; and with a black turtleneck and flat, black jodhpurs, it’s great for a day of meetings. I hope it lasts forever.

  J.Crew Mid-Rise Toothpick Cords

  It wasn’t until I moved to England that I had a use for any kind of pants in between jeans and formal trousers. But here, it’s not quite the same—of course I spend a lot of time in jeans, and I hardly ever wear formal trousers, but I have a huge use for something that looks a bit more put together than jeans but is still casual. At first, the question of where to fulfill this need totally stumped me. I knew J.Crew had great colored cords, but in the past I could never find the shape that fit me—they were either too big in the waist or too short. But out of desperation I decided to give them another chance. What I found was that they had completely reinvented their pant shapes and styles to suit more women. For me, perfection was found in the mid-rise toothpick. The waist covers my belly button (as I like it to), and they fit well through the butt and thighs. The ankle is narrow, and the hem hits at the perfect place to easily tuck into a knee-length boot or fall just above an ankle boot. And the colors! Every season, there are a dozen colors and I am usually tempted to buy them all, even though I choose just one or two.

  Phillip Lim Embroidered Evening Cape

  One of my great fashion lessons learned over the years is that sometimes something decorative and over the top can be just as classic as something basic. A few years back, I was sitting in the front row of the Phillip Lim runway show when I clocked this cape walking past me. It was black, had slits for the hands to pass through, and the length hit just around mid-calf. It moved in the most elegant way. But then as it passed
under one of the spotlights just in front of me, I noticed that the whole thing was embroidered with a black ribbon in an elaborate floral design. That was when I began to drool. Days later, as I made my usual showroom visit, I told Phillip right away that I had to see that cape! It looked like something I could never afford—if I’d seen it on the street I would have assumed it was Oscar de la Renta and cost $25,000. For real. But that’s the brilliance of Phillip’s clothes. He makes beautiful, intricate things affordable. Of course it wasn’t cheap—I think with my friends-and-family wholesale discount at the showroom it was $600—but I wear it every winter to any formal occasion I have, and I am always sad when I arrive and have to leave it at the door. When I do encounter other women while wearing it, they swoon, too. It’s just one of those drool-worthy things that I feel lucky to have discovered.

  Whatever Floral-Print Dress I Have Hanging Around That Season

  Truth be told, I don’t buy much pattern or print—I prefer to invest in things that I won’t grow sick of. But often in the summer I inevitably stumble upon a floral dress—usually in a bohemian shape—that just shouts my name. Recently it’s been an Étoile by Isabel Marant (her cheaper line) dress, but Thakoon and Phillip Lim have made some of my favorites as well. I don’t necessarily buy one every year, and I often bring old ones back into rotation when they look new to me again, but whatever the chosen dress of that season is, I tend to wear it until I can’t bear to look at it again, and it gets put away until its appeal comes back to me. Or not.

  FIVE BEST ACCESSORIES

  Céline Sunglasses