Turbulence

by E. J. Noyes

  Chapter Sixteen

  Audrey and I laughed almost the whole way home while I told her all my stories from the forest. As promised, Mama had been to the market and brought home a haul for me to grill for dinner, which she insisted I start the moment I finished showering.

  Ever since her friend Dolores left the gas on for five minutes before lighting her grill and lost her eyebrows, Mama had been scared of the barbeque. Dolores was lucky that was all she lost. Rumor had it you could see the fireball from blocks away.

  I could barely concentrate on the task at hand. Audrey was upstairs showering and had been gone ten minutes. I had a fair idea of what she was doing. Damn her. My skin burned with the memory of her lips against mine sharing endless slow kisses. I ran a hand over the back of my neck. Mama dragged me out of my reverie with a warning. “Don’t let it get too hot, Bunny.”

  “Mama, if you wanna grill, then grill. Otherwise sit on your butt and leave it to me.”

  “Mmm, well all right then.” She busied herself filling glasses. “Tell me, how was the rest of your afternoon?”

  I tilted my head to check the flame. “Just fine.”

  Mama handed me a very full glass of wine. “I heard a funny rumor just before you two got in.”

  “Oh?” I bent my head to take a careful sip.

  “Apparently Mary Devery picked up a couple out at the old clearing. The one where you kids used to hang out.”

  This town. That took all of an hour to get to her. “Yeah?”

  “Yeah. Word is they were butt naked and in a very compromisin’ position.”

  “We were not naked and all we were doing was kissin’!” The moment the words came out I scrunched my face up, mentally cursing myself. Mama was the only person who ever caught me out like that.

  Her eyes glinted. “Well then, isn’t that something.” Part of the reason for her glee chose that moment to arrive and save me from discussing it further. Audrey accepted an icy beer and stood close to me, peering at the grill. “Sure it’s hot enough?”

  I gave her a withering glance and it may have been almost convincing, if it weren’t for the fact I’d almost collapsed from her freshly-showered scent. “Yes. It’s hot enough.”

  The three of us sat out on the porch, drinking and chatting, and every few minutes I got up to check the grill. Adding this, moving that. Grilling was the one kind of cooking I was good at. Every item had a set amount of time it needed. Turn, wait, done. It was formulaic, not intuitive. Something I could handle.

  We ate outside, and the whole time I kept waiting for Mama to say something about me that would scare Audrey off. As the levels in the bottles grew lower and the moon got higher we laughed louder, told more outlandish stories and all grew closer. I learned that Audrey’s mom had owned an art gallery for some thirty-five years, and that her father had been absent since Audrey was thirteen. She told us this quickly and matter-of-factly and for once, realizing it was a sensitive subject, Mama didn’t push for more.

  But it was new information for me, and I wanted to know the details. I wanted to jump over those lines we’d drawn and gather up every part of her—the funny and the sweet and the painful parts of her life. I wanted it all. But I wasn’t allowed to ask her for it.

  After midnight, Mama stood up and declared she was ready to drag her old bones to bed. I looked up at her from where I was lounging on the day bed. “Night.”

  She leaned over from behind, took my face in warm hands and planted a couple of kisses on my forehead. “Night, Bunny.” Mama stroked Audrey’s hair and left us. The screen door closed quietly.

  “Are you ever going to tell me how you got that nickname?” Audrey reached over to grab my thigh. Her grip was light, fingers gently stroking my leg.

  My smile was so wide I felt it stretching my already overused cheek muscles. “No. Not yet.”

  Her eyes narrowed, jokingly. “I’ll get it out of you. One day.”

  I shrugged, still smiling. “You think so?” I was too embarrassed to tell her how at age three, I’d climbed into the rabbit hutch and was eating their food when Mama found me.

  “Mhmm. You know, you’re different here,” she mused. “Softer.”

  I ran my thumb around the rim of my empty glass. “Guess there’s nothing spiky here. Don’t need my hard shell.”

  The ghost of a frown crossed her mouth then disappeared. “I guess you’re right.”

  “You ready to turn in?”

  “As I’ll ever be.” Audrey stood and offered me her hand. When I made it to my feet, she tugged me forward to pull me purposely off balance. I grabbed at her and was enfolded in strong arms. Held tight and not let go.

  We didn’t hug much. Not standing up. Not like this. We’d hug quickly as a greeting or a goodbye. We’d clutch each other as we gave each other pleasure. We slept intertwined and sprawled on each other watching television. But hugging? Nope.

  I relaxed into her immediately. My arms stole around her waist and I held onto her like she was the only thing keeping me upright. In a way she was—we had drunk a decent amount of wine—but this was more than that. Whenever I was with her, I felt safe. I felt understood. I felt like me.

  Audrey’s nose brushed against my hair. When I looked up at her she took my face in her hands and kissed me sweetly. “Let’s go inside.”

  We shared sink space, brushing teeth and bumping elbows. She waited while I applied my nightly skin-firming moisturizer. Wrinkles? What wrinkles? I flipped the lights off and she used her phone to illuminate the hallway.

  “Night.” Another soft kiss and a brush of her nose through my hair before she turned away.

  “Audrey?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Stay in here tonight?”

  She chuckled. “Iz, I can’t screw you in your mother’s house.”

  “No, we don’t have to.” I swallowed a little of my fear. “I meant just sleep in here with me.”

  Her neutral expression was visible by the light from her phone. “Sleep,” she repeated.

  “Yes. Really, you don’t have to sleep in the guest room. I’d like you to stay with me.” If she did, it would be the first time we’d ever just slept together.

  “Why?” She asked the question lightly but there was weight underneath that single word. She was offering me something.

  I drew a deep breath and took what she offered. “Because, I don’t sleep right when you’re not with me.”

  She held my face in her hands again, soft fingertips tracing my features. “Then I’ll stay.”

  The routine had been changed again. Our goalposts moved once more. I’d dropped everything in her palm, all my vulnerability and my trust, and she’d taken it then closed her hand to keep it safe.

  * * *

  My bed in Mama’s house was not made for sharing. We were jammed together, intertwined, her arm slung under my neck, hand on my breast. The other arm tight around my waist. Our legs tangled, my ass against her hips and her face in my neck. My arm was lost in the gap between the bed and the wall.

  “Wondered when you were going to wake up.” Her words were muffled in my hair.

  I hugged her arm, stretching. My muscles responded, unfurling like a flag and my shoulder popped. “What time is it?”

  She shifted, releasing me a little. “Little after seven.”

  “Mama will be up soon.”

  Her arms came tight around me again. “Let’s sleep a little while longer.”

  “Gotta get up.” The complete lack of conviction in my statement was evident, even to me. When I rolled over, her eyes were scrunched closed. I kissed her nose and she startled, eyes wide.

  I kissed her lips this time. “Now you’re awake.”

  Though Mama protested, once breakfast was done, Audrey insisted on leaving us alone. I gave her the Mustang and pointed her in the general direction of some things I thought she might like to see. Audrey left with a promise to return at four, ready for Mama to take us back to the airport. Mama and I spent the day gardenin
g and playing the interrogation game. She tried to be casual about it, slipping questions in among asking me to yank that weed or dig down a little further. “So, what are you gonna do about this, Bunny?”

  “I don’t know. I’m confused. I don’t know what I want and I don’t know what she wants.” I snipped dead leaves off her Black-Eyed Susans.

  “Have you tried talking to her about it?”

  “No. Maybe a little. I don’t…I don’t know what to say.” I don’t know was the theme of the moment. The only thing I knew was that I wanted her in my life, and I wanted more than what we had.

  Mama looked at me from under the brim of her straw gardening hat. “Well. I like her and I think she’s good for you, baby. You’re more relaxed than I’ve seen you in a long while.”

  I didn’t comment but she was right. Audrey was good for me. I tugged at a loose thread on my gardening gloves, unable to meet Mama’s gaze. “It’s complicated.”

  “I think the only thing making it complicated is you.”

  She and Nat must have been having secret meetings. I looked up. “Oh, Nat asked me to say hi.”

  “Well you can tell her hi back.”

  I cupped dirt into a small pile. “I told you she’s getting married?” Mama loved my college roommate. I still smiled when I thought of their first meeting. Mama was so thoroughly charmed by my gorgeous butch friend that I wondered if she wasn’t harboring secret tendencies.

  “You did not,” Mama said accusingly. “Good for her. When’s the weddin’?”

  “Early March.”

  Mama shook her head as though she couldn’t quite believe it. “Natalie gettin’ married. Well I think that’s just great.” She eyed me shrewdly and pushed herself to her feet.

  Back inside, I picked up Grams’ ring from where I’d left it on the kitchen table to keep it safe while I played in the dirt. Mama stared at her mother’s ring on my finger. “You know, Grams would have liked for you to give that ring to someone, baby.”

  I fought against the lump in my throat. Mama’s mama was the first person I’d told I was gay and when she died in my final year of college, I felt like I’d lost one of the most important things in my life. I wasn’t surprised that Grams was so accepting—she’d raised Mama after all. Mama, who did pretty much whatever she wanted, including having me before she married my daddy. By the time I made the declaration about my sexuality, I think Grams had seen pretty much everything and was done fussing about what other people thought.

  I covered my sadness with annoyance at my mother’s insinuations. “Mama, you’re so far ahead of yourself I’m surprised you haven’t time traveled.”

  My mother simply nodded, a slight smile lifting the edge of her mouth. “Mhmm. Whatever you say, Bunny.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  Mama chattered the whole way to the airport. Her main theme was that we—emphasis on both Audrey and me—should come back and visit real soon. Mama hugged me for what seemed like hours then planted multiple kisses on the top of my head and forehead. “Call me when you get home.”

  “Sure will. Love you, Mama.”

  “Love you too, baby.” Mama released me to grab Audrey. “Thanks for visitin’ me.”

  I’m not sure if Audrey was concerned or not by my mother’s enthusiastic hugging. It didn’t seem so. She looked at me over Mama’s shoulder. “Thank you so much for having me, Connie.”

  “Was my absolute pleasure. Ya’ll take care now. Safe trip home.”

  Once we’d stepped through the door, I turned to give Mama a final wave. Audrey wandered toward the admin area. “Give me a moment? I just need to arrange paperwork.”

  I took a seat while Audrey did whatever Audrey had to do, and checked the markets.

  “Ready to go?”

  My head snapped up at her question. “Yep.”

  We headed out onto the tarmac toward the hangar, so close our hands were brushing. It would be so easy for me to slip mine into hers. To interlace our fingers. It wouldn’t be the first time. She often pinned my hands over my head while her lips were on my neck, thighs and hips grinding against me. I swallowed. If she hadn’t been in uniform and we weren’t in public, I may have seriously considered taking her hand.

  “Thanks for being so adaptable with the whole Mama thing. I’m real sorry, I know she’s full on.”

  “No she’s not. She’s great. I really enjoyed myself.” She smiled, so sweet and so sincere that I was suddenly even more desperate to kiss her. We stopped by the jet, and Audrey cleared her throat, an unusually nervous gesture for her. “Thanks for letting me come along this weekend,” she said quickly, as if she wanted to get the words out before she could think about it. “I liked spending time with you and your mom.”

  “You’re welcome. I know she liked spending time with you as well.”

  “And you? How did you feel about it?” She looked away from me, opened the side panel on the jet and input the code to let the stairs down.

  I studied her profile. “I liked it too but honestly, that was one of the hardest weekends of my life. Having you around but not being able to have you.” Giving in, I reached over and trailed my fingers over her forearm.

  It tensed under my touch. “I…I really can’t. Not now.”

  “I know, I know. Work first,” I grumbled, extracting my hand. “What if I just helped myself while you’re flying me home?” My hand brushed over my breast. The pulse in my groin was reaching fever pitch, nipples painfully hard inside my bra.

  Audrey turned to look at me with a pleading expression. “Then I’d be able to hear you and we’d be a plane crash statistic. Please, just let me do my job.” The words were clipped, almost strangled.

  She was right, I was being unfair. I removed my hand—dammit to hell—hiked my laptop bag back onto my shoulder and grasped the railing with my free hand.

  “Go on up, while I keep an eye on things,” she said quietly.

  While Audrey organized refueling, I responded to emails and confirmed appointments. I was all too aware that once we left South Carolina, we would likely leave something behind. There’d be no more outings, no lighthearted family time. It’d be back to the simple meal, television and fuck routine we’d perfected. And I hated the thought.

  Audrey jogged up the stairs and stowed her bags. As she closed the door, she gestured toward the cockpit. “Are you ready to depart, Ms. Rhodes?”

  “Ready when you are.” I bit down on my lower lip, noticing her reversion to using Ms. Rhodes, and not liking it one bit.

  I tried to work but found myself unable to concentrate. My thoughts were filthy, imagining her spread on one of the seats in the cabin. By the time we came in for approach, I’d fucked her a hundred times, every way possible, imagining the sounds she made as she came. I was wet and quivering with anticipation. When we’d landed, I knew I would have her in the jet. I didn’t care if it was on the seat, in the cockpit or the galley or on the carpet. I just had to have her.

  We taxied into the hangar and I stayed seated until the drone of the engines cut out. I unbuckled, staring at the still-closed curtain separating her and me. Long moments passed and she still hadn’t emerged. Discomfort settled in my belly. Maybe she hadn’t really missed the physicality of our relationship this weekend. Maybe I’d pushed too hard.

  The curtain slid back and she climbed from the cockpit. She stood motionless, studying me with those dark eyes. When she finally spoke, her voice was low and commanding. “Isabelle…come here.” The naked expression of want on her face was unmistakable.

  Desire and relief made me clumsy, and I almost tripped trying to get to the cockpit, clutching at the entryway. Audrey grabbed at me, pushing me back into the cabin. I was unbuttoning her work shirt, my lips moving on her neck. “This weekend, that flight. Torture.”

  “Tell me about it,” she breathed. “I’m sorry, I’m not officially off duty, but I can’t help myself. I want you so badly. I’m sorry,” she repeated urgently.

  “Shhh it’s okay,” I
soothed her around our kisses.

  “You’ll make your driver wait.”

  “Then hurry up and make me come.” I finally managed to tug her shirt off, exposing those tight breasts. Fuck she was so beautiful. I unfastened her bra to give myself access and tossed it on the floor. A hand on her hip, head bent to take a nipple under my tongue. Audrey’s hand came to clutch my ponytail as I suckled her.

  She yanked my top off and pulled me down. Carpet soft against my bare back, her thigh between both of mine to keep me spread. My heels dug into the floor as she trailed kisses over every inch of bare skin, drawing me out, teasing me. I couldn’t stand it. Not now after days being close but still without her. “Please…please let me come.” My begging was hoarse with need.

  Her first lick was so soft and so sweet I almost went into orbit. I bucked underneath her and bit my hand. “More. Harder, please.”

  She ignored me, making a soft sweep over my throbbing clit before kissing her way back up, tongue sliding over my breasts before coming back to my mouth.

  “Turn around. I want to taste you,” I mumbled against her lips. Thinking of her in my mouth as she licked me sent my arousal into overtime.

  Propping herself up, Audrey glanced down at me with a devilish grin. “Stay.”

  I lifted my head to watch as she yanked the rest of her clothes off and then crawled over me to settle between my legs. Grabbing her ass, I held her in place and wasted no time burying myself in her heat. So wet, coating my tongue, thick and delicious. She groaned and I felt her tense under my hands as I lapped at her, not bothering with soft or gentle.

  Audrey buried her tongue in me, and contrary to my quick and rough worship, she was taking her time, carefully tasting everything she already knew so well. I had no idea how she could go slowly. Having her in my mouth, her fingers parting me so she could lick me, and her hair against my thighs had fanned my desire to a point where I felt ready to explode. I couldn’t be slow with her—I needed to consume her.

  I could tell by the low groans, the hardness of the muscle in her ass that she was holding off for me. How considerate. Maybe she was thinking about long division to stop herself coming. Probably not. After what I’d learned about her over the weekend and how much she liked science stuff, she’d likely find math arousing. Finally, she stopped teasing and with a few firm strokes, tipped me over the edge. My cries were loud, echoing off the walls of the jet as I came, just before she did.