by Hayes, Susan
“I definitely prefer kissing you as a human, that’s for sure.”
She bounded off of him and yipped once before lying down beside him on the floor.
Curious, Jase rolled onto his side and began to stroke her, enjoying the rich flow of her fur beneath his hands. She never moved, permitting him to explore her new form until his curiosity was satisfied. “This floor is cold, so I’m headed back to bed,” he announced with a final stroke of her velvety ears. “You’re welcome to join me…in either form.”
She lifted her head and whined softly, then headed back to the bathroom.
“I think I’m going to pay for that crack when she can speak again,” he muttered to himself as he stood. He stretched and headed for bed, trying not to think about the low whimpers of discomfort coming from the other room. As he pulled the covers back for her, the noise stopped, and then she was back in the doorway.
“You bet you’re going to pay for that.” She looked drained, and he felt guilty for having asked her to transform for him. She’d had some hellishly bad days, and as he watched her stumble back to the bed, it was clear just what it had cost her to show him her wolf form. He switched off the lamp and drew her into his arms the moment she touched the bed. He could feel her trembling slightly as he snuggled her body tight to his, her back to his chest.
“Are you all right?” He could recall her soft cries of pain, and it bothered him to know he’d been the reason.
“I’m fine, Jase. I’ve gotten used to it.” She went silent, and he waited, knowing there was more she wanted to say. “Are you really okay with all this?”
“I invited you back to bed as a wolf, didn’t I? I figured you’d be warm to cuddle up with. Like my own furry hot water bottle.”
She laughed, and he knew it was going to be all right.
“I’m a werewolf, not a woobie.”
“What the hell’s a woobie?”
“Woobie. Blankie. You know, something a child sleeps with for security.”
“You could be my woobie.” He brushed back the dark strands of her hair and dropped a featherlight kiss to her cheek.
“You’re impossible.” She tried to hide a yawn and failed.
“And you’re exhausted. Go to sleep. Tomorrow’s going to be a busy day.
“Like today was a walk in the park. I like the way it ended, though,” she murmured, her voice already softer and heavy with sleep.
“Me, too, sweetheart. Me, too.”
* * * *
Jazz heard a stifled cry and woke up with a jolt. A male voice cried out again, and she felt an arm clamp hard around her waist. Panic shot through her, and she lashed out instinctively, fighting to get free. Flashbacks of the night she was attacked flooded her mind, and she heard herself snarling as the wolf rose to defend itself.
She felt the familiar burning sensation wash over her. Her hands and teeth transforming before she could stop it. She sensed the wolf take over, and then her mouth was full of warm flesh and the coppery taste of blood. No!
She fought through the bloodlust, trying to regain control of her body. She heard the voice again, and this time she recognized who was speaking. It was Jase. Memories of last night crashed through her brain, and she remembered where she was, and who she was with. She heard the wolf within her howl. But this time it wasn’t with anger, but in remorse. Regret was something she’d never felt from her darker half in all the years they’d been bound together. As suddenly as it had come awake, the beast released her and faded into the recesses of her mind. As the pain receded, so did her claws and teeth. She was herself again.
“Jase, let go of me.” She struggled to breathe against the rib-crushing grip he held her in. His breathing was jagged, and her heightened senses could detect the bitter tang of fear in the air around them.
“Just hang on a little longer. We’ll be safe soon.” His words were hoarse and didn’t make any sense.
“Jase?”
“It’s going to be okay. It’s just a little further. Don’t you die on me.”
Suddenly she understood. He was dreaming. More than that, he was locked into some sort of nightmare. Something so strong that not even her partial transformation had woken him.
“Jason! You have to wake up!” She struggled against his hold again, trying to break free but afraid to use too much of her strength in case she injured him.
“Jazz?” he muttered her name, dazed.
“I bit you. You have to let go of me so I can see how bad it is.”
“Son of a—that smarts. What happened?”
“You were dreaming, and then you grabbed me. My wolf didn’t take it well.”
She sucked in a deep breath as he finally loosened his hold on her and then reached for the light. There was blood on the sheets, but not as much as she’d feared. “I need to see what I did to you.”
“You didn’t do anything to me.” He sat up, his hand already covering the injury. She’d bitten him high on his upper arm, the only part of him she had been able to reach when he had grabbed her. “This was my own fault. I should have thought…” He looked at her, and she could see the shame in his eyes. “I’m sorry, Jazz. I usually sleep alone so this doesn’t happen.”
“What doesn’t happen?” she asked as she gently eased his hand away from the bite. She’d broken the skin, but it wasn’t deep. She laid her own hand over it and applied firm pressure to stop what little bleeding there was.
“I get flashbacks sometimes. Like nightmares on steroids. I get so wrapped up I don’t realize what I’m doing.”
She felt her heart break a little at the look of shame on his face. “What are you remembering?”
“Lots of things, failed missions and lost friends. I was dreaming about the day my buddy died. I tried to save him, but I was too slow. He died in my arms just before I got him back to camp.”
“I’m sorry.” She curled herself into his arms and laid her head on his chest, her hand still sealed over his injury.
“Some of the things I saw over there, I wish I could forget. But I can’t.”
“I think I understand. I sometimes dream I’m the hybrid. I’m hurting people, people I care about. But I can’t stop it from happening. I’m sorry I hurt you. I told you this wasn’t a good idea.”
“That’s a scratch, and I don’t care if you bite me every damned night. It’s a small price to pay for having you here with me. I’m just sorry I didn’t think about the dreams. I’d have at least warned you.”
“So we’re both sorry.” She couldn’t help but laugh a little. “So was the wolf.”
“What do you mean?”
“When it—we realized what had happened, it stopped. I didn’t have to fight for control. It let me have it. That’s never happened before. It’s always been a struggle. And as it faded, I was sure it seemed to be sorry for what we’d done.”
“Your wolf likes me, too?” He waggled his brows and leered at her, laughing. “So does that make us a threesome?”
“I cannot believe you said that!” She tossed one of the pillows at his head. “No, we’re not a threesome, you pervert.”
“Only with you.” He hauled her into his lap and kissed her, completely ignoring his injured arm. “You’re a terrible influence on this simple army boy.”
“Nothing about you is simple. Now are you going to let me treat this, or are you going to try to pretend you’re fine?”
“I am fine,” he grumbled. “But since I doubt you’re going to stop worrying until you’ve gotten to play nurse, there’s a first-aid kit under the bathroom sink. But if you’re going to do that, you have to promise to kiss it better.”
“You are utterly hopeless.” She kissed him quickly and scampered out of his lap before he could kiss her back and distract her from her mission. She really needed to take a good look at that bite. She’d only bitten someone once before, and the memory of Jase’s blood in her mouth made her stomach roil. At least it isn’t serious enough I need to worry about lycanthropic infection. He
’d have to be near death for that to happen.
By the time she returned to the bedroom, he had stripped the duvet off the bed and tossed it into the corner. He’d replaced it with a heavy, hand-woven blanket, leaving her side turned down for her. She got herself and the kit settled on the bed and gestured for him to give her his arm.
“You know, I think this is the first time I’ve ever had a naked nurse. I could get used to this.” He winked at her as she cleaned the blood away from the wound, and she did her best not to blush.
“Dream on, lover boy.” She rolled her eyes at him, well aware he was teasing her. “I don’t see Sinjin or Mr. Remington being the type to support that sort of thing. Hooters, the hospital ward!”
“A man can dream.” He watched her as she gently checked him over. The bite wasn’t deep, but the skin was already darkening. By morning he’d have a bruise to go with the teeth marks. Another wave of guilt crashed through her as she looked at what she’d done to him. Just as she was about to apologize again, he cut her off.
“You said before you would show me your wolf form if I answered your question. What was it you wanted to know?”
She went still, surprised that he’d remembered. “I wanted to know why.”
“Why? Why what?” His tone was light, but his expression was more serious than she had seen before.
“Why you do it? Why do you risk your life to protect other people?” She gestured to the two of them on his bed. “Why me?”
“That’s two questions,” he pointed out as he reached up to stroke her cheek. “Which one do you want me to answer?”
“The first one. The second one really isn’t that important.”
“I think you’re wrong about that.” His thumb brushed over her lower lip, sending a delicious shiver through her body. “But it’s your question. I work with Paladin because I need to.”
“That doesn’t really make sense. You’re smart, clearly capable. You could be doing a dozen different careers.”
“It’s not about money. It’s not even about a career path, really. It’s what I need to be doing. It’s about redemption.”
“I don’t understand.” Jazz knew somewhere along the way this conversation had turned into something much more important than she’d intended. It was a glimpse into the man beneath the armor.
“I’ve seen and done things, things I’m not proud of. Paladin is a chance for me to balance the scales.”
“You’re a good man, one of the best I’ve ever met,” she protested, dipping her head to nuzzle against his hand.
“No, sweetheart, I’m not. I’m learning to be a good man. That’s what Paladin is, a second chance. We’re all there for our own reasons, but every member of that company is either ex-military or the family of someone who served. Remington built it that way.”
“It’s nice to know I’m not alone.” She smiled, suddenly understanding why the fates had brought her to Paladin. “I’m trying to redeem myself, too, trying to make up for the monster.”
“I keep telling you, you’re not a monster.” He drew her in and kissed her softly.
When he finally stopped long enough for her to think again, she just shrugged and pushed him back onto the bed so she could finish treating his wound. “And I told you, I think you’re a good man. We’ll just have to keep working on convincing each other.”
“You have yourself a deal, Miss Masters.” His smug grin faltered as she poured a generous splash of hydrogen peroxide over the bite. “Ouch.”
“You’ll be fine. I did promise it kiss it better, didn’t I?” She dried the area and applied a dab of antibacterial cream and then stuck a Band-Aid on top for good measure.
“Where’s my kiss?” He was almost pouting now, his eyes gleaming with humor as he lifted his arm and did an amazingly good impression of a sad puppy.
“First I clean this mess up. Then you get a kiss. I suspect if I try to do it the other way around I’ll regret it.”
She gathered up the contents of the first aid kit and tried not to yawn. Suddenly she was tired again. What she wanted more than anything else was to curl back into Jase’s arms and sleep.
He must have read her mind because when she returned from the bathroom, he was already switching off the light, and the moment she was back under the covers, he had her in his arms. “I still want that kiss,” he whispered.
She snuggled herself in close and brushed a soft kiss to side of the bandage, quickly followed by several more. “All better now?”
“For now, yes. I may need more of those come morning.”
“For you, I’ll even make house calls,” she quipped and then asked him the question that had been on her mind since he’d woken her so violently. “How often do you get these nightmares, Jase?”
“I used to get them all the time. Now, maybe once or twice a week. I really am sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry.” She reached up to stroke his cheek. “I just wanted to know how many times a week I can expect to be woken up like that, so my wolf doesn’t freak out next time it happens.”
“Miss Masters, are you planning on spending more nights in my bed, then?” She heard the laughter in his voice, as well as a note of relief.
“I guess that’s up to you. After all, you’re the one who would be sleeping with a werewolf.”
“No, sweetheart. I’d be sleeping with you. And I’d like that very much.”
“Me, too,” she whispered and then closed her eyes with a contented sigh and wished for sleep to come quickly. It did, and as morning came, she began to dream.
She was running through the city streets. It was dark, but she knew dawn was coming soon. She could feel it. The streets were wet and heavy with a hundred different scents. People and machines. Rain-soaked asphalt and alleys full of forgotten trash, some of it human. None of those scents were the one she was seeking. Not tonight. Tonight she needed to find one scent. One among thousands. She lifted her muzzle and inhaled. There! That one!
She followed her nose, running hard. The wind blew gusts of rain into her eyes and made her nose sting, but she didn’t stop. She had to get to him. The one the scent belonged to. He was the only thing that mattered.
The pavement was cold beneath her paws. The rough surface making her pads tender, but still she ran on. Time was running out. She rounded a corner, and his scent came on the wind, stronger now. She followed it into an alley so dark she could see only the faintest of shapes. But she could hear them, snarls and growls and the sound of a man in pain. She flew into the darkness, howling a challenge. The last shards of moonlight shimmered in the puddles, and by its light, she caught the gleam of blond hair and pale skin. Him. She bounded to his side, but the scent she’d tracked was mixed with the acrid odor of pain, and there was blood everywhere, so much blood. The other’s fanned out around her, and she howled in fury. They would pay for what they’d done. She would defend her mate.
Chapter 8
Jazz woke up from her dream with a start. The taste of blood still lingered on her tongue, and for a moment, she could have sworn her mouth was full of fur. What the hell was that? She took a moment to gather her scattered wits as she tried to figure out the dream while it was still clear in her mind. She’d learned years ago that dreams were one of the few ways the beast within could communicate with her.
She glanced over at Jase to see if he was still asleep, and comprehension struck her like a blow. “No way,” she muttered, her hand already reaching out to lightly ruffle his blond hair. She leaned in and breathed deeply. His scent filled her mouth and nose, and her darker half howled in confirmation. It was the same as the one in her dream. She’d been dreaming about her mate, Jase.
“Mate.” She whispered the word and flung herself back onto her pillow with a groan, her arm over her eyes to block out the morning sunlight. This isn’t happening. There is no way my wolf is getting a say in my love life. The room was brighter by the time she rolled over and indulged herself in a long look at the man whose bed she was curre
ntly lying in. This was the man her wolf wanted to mark as their own. There was no denying he was attractive. His hair was cut almost military short, the golden stubble on his jaw just a few shades darker than his pale blond hair. Even asleep his mouth was turned up into a soft smile, just enough for her to be able to mark the dimples in his cheeks. Her gaze slid lower, and she drank in the sight of his bare arms and chest. He had the build of a swimmer, athletic without being bulky. She knew from her own lifelong battle with her weight just how many hours he must spend to keep that fit.
The sight of all that male beauty inspired her to recall how well he’d used that body to pleasure her, and a wicked thought popped into her mind. This brief bit of stolen time together was going to come to an end soon. The full moon would rise tonight and there were still werewolves hunting for her. She hadn’t forgotten the rest of the monster’s warning either. It sensed danger and wanted to protect Jase from it, whatever it was.
“Time to seize the day,” she whispered to herself and eased the covers off her sleeping lover. She was surprised to see he was already hard. For a moment, she wondered if he was merely pretending to sleep, but then she recalled one of the girls at the gym talking about “morning wood” and she realized what was happening. It would be a crime to let that go to waste. She shimmied down the bed and wrapped her fingers around the thick base of his cock. As much as she wanted to go slowly and enjoy this, she knew he wouldn’t stay asleep long. Not with what she planned to do.
The moment her lips touched his skin, he groaned, his cock twitching in her hand. Tentatively she planted several more kisses to the tip and felt it swell even more. She swiped the tip of her tongue up one side and was rewarded with another groan. With growing confidence, she swirled her tongue over the slit at head of his cock and then lowered her head to take it into her mouth. His body tensed, and his hips bucked instinctively, driving himself deeper into her mouth. She heard him suck in a breath that ended with a chuckle, and then his hand was tangling in her hair.