Forgotten Silence_Grey Wolves Novella

by Quinn Loftis

  Alina placed a hand on Rachel’s arm. The healer looked down. She hadn’t realized she’d been rubbing her arm. “It feels like my skin is crawling,” she said. “The … darkness, or whatever it is, feels like it tried to crawl into my own mind.”

  “What sort of magic was it?” Alina asked.

  Rachel thought about the question for a moment and then shrugged. “I honestly can’t say that I could tell. There was just so much malice in it.”

  Alina turned to Lilly. “Are you getting any weird vibes about Sally and Costin traveling?”

  Lilly raised a brow at the Alpha female. “That’s not how it works. I can’t just make the visions happen. I do have an uneasy feeling, but I don’t think it’s because of Sally or Costin being in danger if they travel.”

  Jen walked over and looked at Rachel. “I heard a little of what you said. We’ve decided that Sally and Costin need to take a trip to her parents. Maybe it will help her work through whatever pain and lies she’s beginning to believe.”

  Rachel nodded. “I think that’s a good idea.” She was about to say something else when she heard her mate’s voice bellow down the hallway.

  “Rachel,” Gavril said for the second time, only this time he didn’t yell. “What is wrong? I could feel you. Something is not right.”

  “Sally’s being consumed by darkness. She is self-destructing, and your mate went into her mind to verify it. That’s all. Geez, you males can be so dramatic,” Jen bit out.

  Gavril’s eyes widened. “What darkness?” he asked Rachel.

  “I’m not sure, my love,” she told him. “I couldn’t tell if it was magic or her own psyche.”

  “Where is Sally now?” Gavril asked.

  Five female hands were immediately in the air, pointing to the door of Sally’s suite. “She’s sleeping,” Jen told him.

  He nodded. “It is late. Perhaps we all should follow her example and get some rest.”

  Rachel let him lead her away, but she glanced over her shoulder, and her eyes locked on Lilly’s. The warlock king’s mate was hiding something. She’d heard it in the lie the woman had told Peri. Lilly had felt something about Sally and Costin. She knew that Lilly loved Sally like a daughter, so she couldn’t imagine that she would keep something to herself that could put the girl in danger. So what was it the queen was hiding and why?

  Decebel stopped when he felt his mate stirring in his mind. “Is everything alright, Jennifer?”

  “As alright as it can be,” she answered, sounding very tired and worried. “I booked Costin and Sally plane tickets to Coldspring. They leave tomorrow afternoon. Lilly has called and informed Sally’s parents of their imminent return.”

  “Imminent return?” he asked, unable to keep the humor from his voice. “Since when did you start using words like imminent?”

  “Since my life became a super-long battle against one evil after another. Saying that Lilly told them they were coming home just doesn’t reflect the gravity of the situation. And I’ve been reading a lot lately. Let me bask in my growing vocabulary, B.”

  “As you wish,” he told her. “You are done meeting with the other females?”

  “Yep. Going to check on our rug rat in the flesh. I’ve had the baby monitor connected to my phone, and she hasn’t stirred. Then I’ll see if I can get some rest. Make Costin get his arse home, please. I don’t like Sally being in her bed alone. And as much as you wolves grumble about your mates being by your sides, he needs to practice what he preaches.”

  Decebel could feel the frustration rolling off her in waves. She was angry with Costin for leaving Sally, and he couldn’t say he disagreed with her. The males of his race were possessive and protective. It wasn’t right for Costin to demand that Sally stay close to him and then bail on her when things got tough.

  “I’ll take care of him and be back to warm our bed as quickly as I can. Behave,” he added before he felt her pull back from his mind, not closing it, rather remaining just in the background.

  He began to run again with Fane close at his side. Decebel stuck his nose in the air and breathed in deep. There, to the left, he could smell Costin’s faint trail. Decebel veered that direction and picked up his pace. As they descended a steep slope, both he and Fane had to dig their paws into the ground to bring themselves to a stop. There, next to a small stream, sat Costin. He was in his human form, pulling up grass from the ground and shredding it.

  Decebel phased, as did Fane. There were no clothes to don, but only males were present, and they weren’t bothered by the lack of covering. They walked over to where Costin sat and took seats on the plush grass across from him.

  “Talk to us,” Decebel said after several minutes of silence.

  Costin’s lip curled up in a silent snarl. “This an intervention?” His voice was harsh and bitter. He glanced up at them, and Decebel saw his eyes were glowing bright. His wolf was in control.

  Decebel called on his own wolf and let the power that came with being an Alpha flow over him. He knew the minute it hit Fane and Costin because they both bowed their heads instinctively.

  “I have not given up my title just yet, Beta,” Decebel growled. “Know your place, or I will remind you of it. I am your Alpha, and, more importantly, I am your friend. We are here because we care about you and Sally. You are pack, family, and we don’t leave our own to face trials alone. Now tell us what the hell is going on.”

  Costin’s shoulders slumped forward as the weight of what he was bearing seemed to press down on him. It was his wolf who spoke. “She is ours,” he growled. “Ours to protect, to love, to cherish. Our true mate, but she pushes us away.” Costin’s voice grew deeper as he spoke, and his body began to shake.

  “Control yourself,” Decebel said in a low, fierce voice.

  Costin took a deep breath, and, when he looked up at Decebel, his eyes were no longer glowing with his wolf’s anger. “She won’t let me touch her. She hardly speaks to me. Every minute of every day, she pushes me a little further away. Her mind is completely closed off to me. I don’t know if she even wants to be mine anymore.”

  “She’s been through something very traumatic, Costin. I know this isn’t what you want to hear, but you need to give her time,” Decebel said. “She’s your true mate. She cannot live without you. You aren’t going to lose her.”

  Costin let out a humorless laugh. “I could tell myself that all day long, Alpha. But that doesn’t change reality. I am not going to lose her. I have already lost her.”

  Fane growled. “No, you haven’t. She’s still there in the mansion, asleep in your bed.”

  “Her physical body,” Costin snapped. “But this”—he pounded his hand against his chest, just over his heart—“I don’t have hers anymore. She may not have given it to that other wolf, but somewhere along the way she decided it was too broken to give even to me, her damn mate.”

  “You’re both hurting. You’ve been through so much for the past four months. I can understand all the doubts, but I will not stand by and watch as you two give up. You are her true mate. There is no one else on earth who can love her as you can. Let me ask you this…” Decebel shifted restlessly, hating to broach this subject, but hoping it would help. “Remember how you felt in the In Between?” As expected, Fane sucked in a sharp breath, and Costin’s body grew rigid once again.

  “It’s not something I allow myself to dwell on,” Costin said.

  “I’m sure you don’t, but for this lesson I need you to think about those feelings. Think about how you felt when your mind conjured up those fears. Remember how the pain and shame from it threatened to rip you in two. Remember how you felt undeserving of your mate, regardless of the fact that none of those things you saw or experienced actually happened. Comparing your feelings to what Sally is experiencing is like comparing a paper cut to third degree burns. But…” He held up a finger. “It should allow you to have a tiny taste of what your mate is enduring.” Decebel let out a resigned sigh before continuing.

 
“I never thought I’d see the day that I’d have to order a true mate to fight for his female.” Decebel narrowed his eyes on his Beta and friend. “Costin Miklos.” The power that came with being Alpha surged forward into his words as he spoke. “You will return to your mate. You will set aside any doubts, any fears, any anger you may have, and stand by her side, where you belong, until she is through this dark time. You’re scared of losing her, and we understand that, but running from her isn’t going to help you keep her. You need to fight for your mate. Fight for your relationship, because if you don’t, then Jeremiah and The Order win. Regardless of whether they were able to keep Sally under their thumb, if you let this destroy your marriage, then they win. You will do this.”

  Costin bared his neck to Decebel. “Yes, Alpha.” He paused and then met Decebel’s eyes for a couple of seconds before dropping them. “What if I fail?”

  “You won’t. Failure isn’t an option when it comes to our mates. Suck it up, Costin. You were created for her and she for you. Start acting like it.”

  Costin shut the door of their suite quietly and walked to the bathroom. There were no lights on, but with his wolf’s sight he had no trouble seeing. He needed a shower before he went to his mate.

  His Alpha was right and, even without the Alpha command, Costin would have returned to her prepared to fight for what was his. He was hurt. He was lonely. He was terrified. But he wouldn’t lose her, not even to a memory. His Alpha had been right to remind him of the In Between, though it sucked dragon balls to think about. He did remember how he’d felt. He had thought himself unworthy of Sally in every way. It made him nauseous to think that she now thought herself unworthy of him.

  The water rushed over his body, washing away the dirt and sweat. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, letting it soothe him and cleanse him. He needed to remember who he was when she met him, confident and sure of himself. He had every right to be close to her, to talk to her and have her talk to him, to touch her. She needed him desperately, and she didn’t even realize it, but that was going to change. Sally was about to get what she deserved, a mate who would show her how much he loved her, wanted her, and was prepared to fight for her.

  He dressed quietly and then stepped into their bedroom to find her sleeping more peacefully than she had in days. She looked serene. His hands itched to caress her skin and tunnel through her hair. His body ached to be close to hers, fitting her against him where she belonged. It had been days since he’d felt her, and he was done waiting.

  He walked purposefully to his side of the bed and pulled back the covers. Without pause, he climbed in and slid closer to her, rolling onto his side. Costin wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her back against him. Before everything had happened, they’d slept like this, every night. He felt his wolf settle for the first time in days as he let the heat from Sally’s body seep into his. He had to convince her that this togetherness would get them through this troubled time. They needed to stand beside each other, lean on each other, and love each other. That would get them through all the pain and sorrow, and he knew they’d come out whole on the other side. But he had no idea what he could do, short of tying their waists together.

  He knew he should sleep, but he didn’t want to. He was afraid to miss a moment of finally having her back in his arms. She started to shift, and he wondered if she was waking up, but she simply rolled over and moved closer to him. She buried her face in his neck and let out a contented sigh. He held the other half of her soul. And he knew it was her soul that was reaching out to him in that moment. It was reaching for comfort, acceptance, and safety.

  “I’ve got you, Sally mine. I’ve got you, and I’m not going anywhere,” he whispered into her hair.

  “Don’t give up on us.” Her voice spoke into his mind, and he knew it was her soul speaking to his.

  “Never,” he promised.

  When the sun began to rise and his mate started squirming restlessly, Costin debated whether he should let her go and give her some space or keep holding her. To be completely honest, he was sick of space between them. He wanted her to crowd him. He stayed right where he was. Her legs had tangled with his sometime in the night, and half of her body was laying across him. It would take a thousand wolves to move him from that spot in that moment. He didn’t even think his wolf would obey an Alpha command to move. He pulled her tighter against him and rubbed his hands down her back and up again. He wanted to touch so much more of her, and he wanted it to be skin on skin, but he wouldn’t push her to be intimate with him now. He didn’t want to scare her. However, he wasn’t going to allow her to push him away any longer.

  “Costin?” Sally’s tired voice broke through his thoughts.

  He tensed as she started to pull away from him. “No, Sally, I’m not letting go.” His voice was firm, and his wolf was pushing forward, eager to help him make her understand.

  “You shouldn’t touch me,” she said, not raising her head to look at him but looking down in a submissive manner. “You can’t.”

  “Yes, I can.” He cut her off. “I am your mate. I love you. I am not going to hurt you. I am not ever going to stop wanting you. I cannot let you go, not even if you believe that’s the best thing for us. I cannot continue to let you push me away. I’m done, Sally mine.” He placed a finger under her chin and forced her head up until he could see her eyes. “Listen to me and listen good. We are going to get through this, but we are going to do it together. You are no longer going to withhold your touch from me or keep me from touching you. We need that touch. My wolf is desperate for your skin to be in contact with mine. You are going to talk to me and let me back in.” He gently tapped her forehead. “The monster who hurt you is dead, and if we let this tear us apart, they win.” He repeated Decebel’s words and felt with more conviction that his Alpha was right.

  “Tell me again.” Sally said the words she’d said to him their first night back from Ocean Side. She’d allowed him to make love to her, and then he’d told her over and over how much he loved her and how much she meant to him. Costin had said he would tell her all day, every day, if that was what she needed.

  “I love you. You are mine. You are precious. You are beautiful inside and out. I need you desperately. Every part of me, from my physical body to my soul, is aching for you.”

  A sob broke loose from her as the tears that had been gathering in her eyes began to fall. “Again,” she said.

  He felt her mind open, and the bond between them was complete again. He reached for the intimacy of speaking to her through their bond instead of saying it out loud. “I love you, Sally.” His voice was even deeper as he spoke into her mind. “You are a treasure I don’t deserve, but I’m too selfish to give you up. You give my life so much meaning and light. Even now your light is reaching into me to keep my darkness at bay. You are mine. Say it.” He growled.

  “I am yours,” she said through her tears.

  “Again,” he said.

  “I am yours.”

  “You’re damn right you are,” he said before leaning his head down and pressing his lips to hers. He wanted to take the kiss deeper, to push her onto her back and blanket her body with his own. But he could feel she was conceding, and he didn’t want to push too hard.

  Her cheeks were flushed when he pulled back, and her lips swollen from the force of his kiss.

  “You want me?” she asked.

  Costin didn’t answer. He simply sent her his thoughts. He made it perfectly clear through the images in his mind that he wanted her in every way.

  She blushed and ducked her head, pressing it into his chest. But he didn’t relent, despite her embarrassment. Costin continued to assault her mind with memories of their time together and desires that he wanted to fulfill with her and her alone. She needed to understand nothing had changed the way he saw her. Nothing that had happened had caused him to lose his need or want of her. He could feel her insecurities, and most of it stemmed from her fear that he would be disgusted by her
.

  “I’m not going to stop until you no longer doubt me,” he said quietly.

  Her eyes widened. “You can’t go around putting those thoughts in my head all day.”

  He smiled, and it felt so damn good. “Is that a challenge, Sally mine?”

  She shook her head. “No, no, you idiot, of course I know you can, but I mean you can’t because I’ll look like a freaking tomato all day.”

  “No one will know what I have running through that beautiful head of yours, unless you tell them.”

  “Where is this coming from?” she asked him. “You’ve been quiet for the past few days. I know you’ve been giving me my space.”

  “That wasn’t working, so I’m trying a new tactic. It’s called seduce my mate until she’s a puddle at my feet, begging for my touch.” He knew his face must have been plastered with smugness because she was giving him an irritated look. He’d take it. It was better than her looking at him like he was her past and not welcome in her future.

  “I didn’t mean to make you feel that way,” she said softly, picking up on his thoughts. “Something is wrong with me, Costin. I’m scared—no, I’m terrified of losing you.”

  He shook his head. “Not possible. The world will break apart until all that is left are tiny particles before I would leave you.”

  She stared up into his eyes, and he knew she was searching for even a tiny lie in his words. She would find none. Decebel would let Jen strip in a room full of single males before Costin would let go of his mate.

  “Can I tell him you thought that?” she asked with a small smile.

  “You can do whatever you want if it will put a smile on your face,” he said in all seriousness.

  Before she could respond, there was a loud pounding on their door and then Jen’s voice. “Wake up! Y’all need to pack and then spend some time with your son before you go to the airport. If you’re late and miss your flight I’m going to be ticked.”