Forgotten Silence_Grey Wolves Novella

by Quinn Loftis

  “Sally?” She heard the sprite’s voice.

  “Diedre?” she asked.

  “Yes, I am here.”

  “Where is here?”

  “We are in your mind.”

  Sally frowned. “It’s just a black empty room and”—she shivered—“cold.”

  “I want you to focus on the darkness and the cold.”

  Diedre’s voice sounded close, but Sally couldn’t see the woman. She couldn’t see anything.

  “I want you to zero in all of your attention on that darkness. Feel it. Is it a part of you, or is it foreign?”

  “What do you mean, is it a part of me?”

  “Each of us has some measure of darkness in us, child.” The sprite’s smooth voice filled the space. She didn’t sound harsh, just matter of fact. “We all have the capacity to do great evil. We have a choice. Shall I go in this direction that leads to good, healthy things, or do I go in this direction which gives me the illusion of satisfaction for a brief second as it slowly kills my soul? But not all darkness comes from within. Sometimes, outside influences slip in unnoticed. I want you to feel this darkness and determine if it is yours or something else.”

  Sally turned toward the darkness that undulated like a charmed snake in a corner of her mind. It was so strange to see her mind as a room. Sally knew her brain was a pink mass filled with firing synapses, but this place was a rectangular room with dark corners hiding the secrets of psyche. The darkness shifted again, drawing her attention back to itself.

  She took a step toward the black mass, even though her body was screaming at her to turn and run. She took another step, and still another, until she was able to reach out her hand and touch it.

  She heard Costin’s growl but didn’t pull her hand away. The consequence of her action was immediate. Sally felt as though she’d swallowed a bag of cotton. She couldn’t get any air in her lungs no matter how hard she tried. Was it real? Could she really not breathe, or was this just something happening in her mind?

  As quickly as the air had left her, it returned, and she was surrounded by memories. She could hear his voice, smell his scent, and even feel his skin on hers. Jericho.

  “No,” she said firmly.

  “What do you feel?” Diedre’s voice crashed into Sally’s ears, helping the gypsy healer pull herself from the hurricane of emotions that was swirling within her.

  “I feel him. The werewolf imposter. He’s in that darkness. He’s taunting me.”

  “Is it yours?”

  “No.” Sally understood now what the sprite meant. The darkness that danced in front of her wasn’t hers. It had been left there by someone else.

  “It’s going to get warm in here,” Diedre said. “And I apologize, but we will see some of your memories. Sally, visible light isn’t the only thing that banishes darkness. Darkness is deceit. Its intent is to cover and conceal, to lie. So while we will shine the light into the darkness, we will also draw out the truth. Truth breaks the chains with which lies and deceit bind. Do you want the truth to rip through the lies, Sally?”

  “Yes.” Sally backed up until she was pressed against a wall and slid down to the floor. She wasn’t there long.

  “Stand, child of mine,” a bright light filled her vision, and Sally had to cover her eyes.

  Sally obeyed and rose back to her feet. “Great Luna?”

  “I hurt with you, Sally, precious mate to Costin. I have caught every tear you’ve cried, but I did not remove the pain. You are doing the right thing. Remove what is in secret, pour light into the darkness, and expose the lie and the truth. This I will bless.”

  There was no easing into it. One minute there was no light and the next it flooded her. Sally was sure that light was probably shining out of the pours in her skin. She was suddenly outside of her mind and back in her own body. She could no longer see the room, but she was aware of what was happening. She could feel the heat radiating through her and feel the burn of truth as it began to expose the lies.

  Memories began to be pulled from the darkness, but they weren’t real. These were the things that had been implanted like subliminal messages. One by one, they were revealed.

  “Little healer, he will not want you if he ever finds you,” Jericho whispered as he walked by her in the bar. Sally didn’t even act like she’d heard him.

  “Little healer, your worth is tied to your ability to be faithful to your true mate. Brown eyes, you have not been faithful.” These words were whispered to her as he stood beside her drying glasses at the end of a shift. Again, Sally never moved or said anything.

  “Little healer, he will always wonder if you desire me more.”

  As the light shown brighter and brighter, the suppressed memories were exposed until there was only a shadow left.

  “That shadow is your own darkness, Sally,” Diedre said. “We have excised the implanted darkness, but only you can defeat your own darkness. We will help. Listen carefully.”

  Sally heard her parent’s voices. “You are growing into a remarkable young woman, Sally.” Sally could see the memory. She was in their kitchen, ten years old.

  “I want to be remarkable now.” Sally sighed. “Jacque is so free spirited, and Jen is so confident, and I’m just me.”

  “Look at me, daughter of mine.” Her mom nudged her chin with the knuckle of her finger. “There is no such thing as just anyone. Every single person is unique in this world, and uniqueness is what makes something special. That means we are all special in our own way. You are special. You are unique. There is only one of you in this entire world. One day you will realize your worth, though your father and I will continue to try to get you to see it sooner rather than later.”

  Jen and Jacque’s voices filled her head next, and the memory bloomed in her mind. They were sitting in Jacque’s backyard staring up at the night sky. They were freshmen in high school, and the school year was nearly over. She remembered that night like it had happened yesterday. “I wish I could be like you, Sally,” Jen said as she re-braided her hair, which she did like fifty times that night.

  “Why on earth would you want to be like me? So guys won’t notice you, and you blush if they actually do?” Sally asked.

  “Do you really want me to dignify those questions with an answer?” Jen asked. When Sally didn’t respond, Jen continued. “Now, as I was saying, I wish I was like you because you see good in bad things. You see good in people and situations that I can’t.”

  “What are you talking about?” Sally frowned.

  “When you got the flu over winter break you never complained, and you said, ‘At least I don’t have to get dragged into washing holiday dishes.’ When we got detention for the stunt we pulled on the football field with the baby powder, you were all, ‘It’s like a free period where we can just hang out.’ When you built that volcano in seventh grade for the science fair, it was amazing, and everyone knew you would win, and then you dropped it as you climbed out of the car. You shrugged and said, ‘Maybe someone else needs to win more than I do.’” Jen turned to look her in the eyes. “You don’t see yourself, Sally. But we do. We see you, and we like the hell out of what we see.”

  “What she said.” Jacque held her hand up in the air for a high five. “You know Jen is serious when she starts cussing the hell out of something.”

  That memory faded, and another quickly filled its place. This time it was Costin’s voice. They were in their suite, and he was lying next to her on the bed. Costin wasn’t able to touch her because she, along with the other females, had forbidden their mates to touch them. Even after she’d done that, he still professed his love for her. “Now that I have you, I can’t live without those things, Sally. Not just because of the Blood Rites, but because I couldn’t go on without you being in this world. So you see, when this is all over you have to come back to me. Whatever it takes, my sweet love, I will do it. I will take away every nightmare, every soul haunting memory, and replace it with my love. Do you hear me, Sally?”

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nbsp; “Yes,” she whispered for her unconscious self. She heard him then, and she heard him now. The next memory was of Costin holding her as she fell apart. She heard the words he’d spoken into her mind then just as clearly now. “I love you Sally. I love you, and I’m not leaving.”

  The memories shifted again, and she recognized the next one immediately as it had happened not quite two weeks ago. “Get that you will always be more important to me than anything else. You, your safety, your health, your pain, your joy, all of that is more important than him. He is dead now. He doesn’t matter. I dealt with my own feelings when I tore him apart. Now it’s about you.”

  Sally didn’t know how long it went on, memory after memory of words that contradicted everything Jericho had tried to make her believe.

  “Sally?” Costin’s voice was hesitant.

  “I’m okay,” she told him, and it was the truth.

  “Do you see what is truth and what is not?” Costin asked.

  “I do.” And she did. The light inside continued to burn bright, chasing out the darkness. When it was done, she was back in the room in her mind, but it was no longer covered in darkness. It was bright and warm, and she could feel the first tingles of hope.

  “Truth will always overcome,” the Great Luna said as she appeared in front of Sally, who bowed her head to the creator of the Canis lupus race. “My truth is the ultimate truth, so hear me now. You are not your own. You are mine, and I will give you strength in trying times. I will answer when you call. I will shine my light into the darkness and guide you through the fire. It is up to you to decide that you want what I freely give. You will continue to battle darkness because evil lives and breathes in the world. But your obedience and faith will make you victorious. Remember, you weren’t created to be an island. Draw strength from those who love you and stand beside you. Your battle isn’t over, Sally. You will still struggle with the trauma of your experience, but you will also have many opportunities to offer comfort to others who are going through what you endured. It is serving others, using the difficult things in life to help, that combats the influence of darkness.”

  “Thank you,” Sally said as new tears flowed down her face. These tears were for more than just the pain of her experience. They were also tears that cleansed and brought her to a place of peace. “I’m still hurting, but I am not blinded by the lies. And I know I will overcome this and be stronger because of it. And I know I couldn’t do it without your help.”

  “My peace I give to you and my promise that I will not forsake you.”

  Sally’s eyes blinked open as her mind slipped back into consciousness. She took a deep breath and smiled when Costin’s face appeared above her. His answering smile filled her heart with so much love she felt as though it would burst right out of her chest.

  He helped her sit up then wrapped his strong arms around her. His lips found hers briefly and then he pressed his forehead to hers. “I know we aren’t out of the woods yet, but at least now we can see the rays of sun breaking through the trees.”

  She nodded and looked around to those watching her silently. Her mom smiled at her and stepped forward. Costin stepped aside so Sally could accept her mother’s embrace. Her dad was next, and Sally felt as though she was seeing things through a different light, as though she’d been wearing dark sunglasses before and someone had lifted them away from her eyes.

  She looked over at Diedre and frowned. “It feels so anticlimactic.”

  The luminous sprite smiled at her. “I have found the most powerful healing can occur when we are in a quiet place, willing to listen to our Creator, as long as we are open to being changed. There need not be onlookers, lights and smoke, explosive revelations, or the like for change to occur. Sometimes, change can only happen when we take time to stop and look inside of ourselves to see what darkness we have within. Maybe it feels less than amazing, but I assure you it is every bit as encouraging as the change that occurs in explosive, mighty ways. Fighting evil, refusing to be a part of something that only glorifies self, that kind of change is always mighty.”

  “Thank you for your help,” Sally said and looked around at the other women. “All of you.” They bowed their heads in response. Each of their faces seemed to portray the same peace that Sally was feeling.

  “Regardless of our race, our differences, we should always be willing to help others. We should always be willing to fight against our enemies and stand up for those who need us,” Diedre said. “You, healer, have been through much and, as the Great Luna said, you will be able to help even more than had you not been through those things. Leave here with your head held high. Though you will still have healing to do, you have hope that this too shall pass, and greater things are to come.”

  Chapter Ten

  “Some would look at my life and say I’d been dealt some great cards and some not-so-great cards. But really, I don’t see it that way. Instead of cards, I would say I’ve been dealt experiences. Some great, some not-so-great, but all beneficial. I honestly would not be the person I am had I not had those joyful times or the painful times. And most of the time, I like who I am, with the exception of the days when I’m a butthead, but I try really hard not to be a butthead. Would I change my experiences if I could? If it would mean changing me, that I would be less, that my integrity and character would be less, then no. I would accept the challenges, knowing that they will make me grow.” ~ Sally

  Sally zipped up her suitcase, feeling lighter than she had in weeks. No, she wasn’t completely over the time she’d spent in Ocean Side, but she was able to see the hope that could come out of her trials. She still asked Costin to reassure her of his love. She still had moments where a cold chill would run through her because of a memory from her time with Jericho which flashed through her mind. But the darkness that had been planted in her was gone. Now she just had to deal with her own darkness, her own doubts. Those felt much more surmountable. She had a family who loved her and supported her. She had a mate who would fight for her, for them, and she had a Creator who wanted the best for her.

  “Are you ready to go home?” Costin asked as he walked into her room. “We can stay a little longer if you’d like.”

  She took a deep breath and let it out. “No, it’s time. I’m ready to be back with our son and begin to move forward. I would like to do something though, once we get back.”

  “Anything,” he said without pause.

  “I want to get my nose pierced.”

  Costin’s head tilted in that wolfy way she loved. “An odd request, but I’ll bite. Why do you want to do this?”

  Sally shrugged. “I’ve always thought they were cute and I’ve always wanted one but never been brave enough to get one. I’ve never told Jacque and especially not Jen,”

  “Because you would have woken up one morning with a pierced nose,” he finished for her.

  “Exactly. But now, well, after all the times my body and actions have been taken from my control, this isn’t one of them. This is in my control. Are you okay with it?”

  “I think they’re sexy as hell, but even if I didn’t, if it’s what you wanted then I’d be okay with it.”

  She smiled at him and his returning smile felt like sunshine to her soul.

  “I’m in awe of your willingness to not lay down and die,” he said as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her against him.

  “Don’t be too in awe. I was attempting to at one point.”

  He shrugged. “We all hit rock bottom every once in a while. Some of us stay there a little longer than others, but it’s not the length of time spent laying on the bottom that matters, Sally. It’s the fact that you do eventually get up, you grow and change for the better, and you want to use that experience to help someone else.”

  “When did you become so philosophical?” she asked, smiling up at him.

  “I think it’s because I haven’t been around Jen for a couple weeks. Seems like the brain cells she kills are regenerating.”

  Sall
y laughed. “I’m so going to tell her you said that.”

  “Woman, why do you torture me so?” He groaned as he nuzzled her neck.

  “Don’t blame that stuff on me. You’re the one who says being around Jen kills brain cells, not that I disagree.”

  They gathered their luggage and went downstairs. Sally could already feel the tears forming. She needed to go. It was part of life. Leaving your parents to go out on your own and leave your mark on the world. But that didn’t make it easy.

  Her mom was waiting by the front door, dabbing her eyes with a tissue. She smiled up at Sally and waved her off. “I know, I know. You haven’t even left yet, and I’m a blubbering mess.”

  “I’m going to miss you too,” Sally said as she wrapped her arms around her mother. Sally pulled her tight and closed her eyes, breathing in her mom’s familiar smell and trying to commit it to memory.

  Her dad stepped up, and Sally pulled away from Cindy, only to be squeezed tightly to his chest. “I love you, Sally. And I’m proud of you. You hear me? I am so darn proud of you.”

  “Thanks, Daddy. You guys raised me right,” she said as she stepped back and looked at her parents. “Got to give credit where credit is due.”

  “We simply gave you a foundation. The rest has been up to you,” her mom said. “I’m glad you came home. We would have probably come to you, had you not. But I think you coming here was better. And I want you to know that you can always come to us, for anything.”

  “I know, and I will if I need to. Y’all need to come see us very soon so you can meet Titus. We can set up video chats until you can come.”

  Her mom nodded and clapped. “I can’t wait to meet my grandson. I love him already.”

  “Titus is going to love you as well,” Costin said as he hugged her mom and shook her dad’s hand. “Thank you for everything.”

  Out of nowhere, a woman appeared next to them.

  “I apologize if I frightened you,” the woman said, looking at Sally’s mom who had jumped a little.