UnStable

by M. Piper

  “Chill old lady. She had something in her eye. I had to get it out.” He throws a wink my way and his grams scoffs. “Gram, we weren’t goin’ at it. Never on my parents’ front porch. Ever,” he says, rolling his eyes dramatically.

  “Please. Don’t call me stupid. I was young and good looking once. I know what it’s like.” She grins over at me and holds her arms out. “Mackenzie,” she croons, shuffling over and wrapping her arms around me. “My youngest grandson finally got his head out of his ass. So happy to finally meet you. I’ve heard so much about you.”

  “Nice to meet you, too.” I smile and shrug off my jacket for Ford to hang up.

  “Well come on. Let’s get you two some drinks.” She shuffles to the kitchen and I glance over at Ford and he smiles at me. I love his grandma already and am kind of jealous he gets to have someone that cool in his life.

  “Right this way,” he says, resting his hand on my lower back and walking me through the massive brick house with pristine living quarters. His parents’ house. I couldn’t imagine growing up in a place like this. We weren’t poor by any means, but this is a huge, beautiful house.

  “This place is amazing,” I whisper, walking into the kitchen with him.

  “Thank you, Mackenzie,” a woman says and I snap my eyes over to where the voice came from. Standing there, apron on and a counter full of food in front of her, a dark haired woman with the same dimple as Ford is smiling at me.

  “Uh…Mom.” Ford smiles and I can tell he’s nervous because his hand is still on my back as his mom walks around the island, smiling.

  “He’s not brought home a girl since—” she stops herself and her eyes go wide and I turn to look at Ford whose color is slowly draining from his face.

  “I’m thrilled to be here,” I blurt, holding out my hand to shake hers and she ignores it and wraps her arms around me.

  “Beer? Whiskey? What’ll it be, folks?” Gran says, walking in with both fists full of alcohol and I look at Ford. He glances at me, his jaw twitching, and his eyes slightly narrow.

  “Water for me,” he says, nodding at me. “You want something?” He’s watching me and I take his hand in mine and give it a squeeze, smiling.

  “Water’s perfect,” I say. I don’t know why it makes me so happy to be here tonight, but Ford’s family has a way of making everyone feel at home.

  His parents are the most welcoming parents I’ve ever met. His big brother and family are too sweet, and his sister…well I already knew I liked her.

  “Ford wet the bed till he was ten,” Reagan blurts after dinner’s over and we’re all sitting in the family room, watching Carter and Ford play some game on TV. The kid’s beating his uncle’s ass, and my heart swells each time Ford loses. He’s so good with Carter. Too good. I wouldn’t expect someone like him to be good with kids…he’s wild. He’s carefree. He’s also the best uncle I’ve ever seen.

  “Did not. She’s lying. She’s just jealous I got the cooler bed sheets.” He rolls his eyes and I laugh.

  “She’s not lying,” Lincoln says from across the room where he’s been planted by Wren since we came in here, silently watching this showdown of Ford and Carter on the TV. “I remember nights he’d end up in the bathtub, not wanting to wake mom or dad that he pissed himself,” Lincoln says, laughing.

  “Oh my God,” Ford blurts, standing. “Enough you two.” He points at his siblings and Lincoln laughs.

  “Hey, baby brother. Karma’s a bitch. I’ve been waiting for this moment for years.” Lincoln takes a drink of his lemonade and sets his glass back down but Ford’s just staring at him and from the look on his face, he’s playing through the reasons Lincoln’s been waiting that long and it only lands on one thing.

  The girl. Caroline.

  The room’s silent as he stands there, probably because everyone’s thinking the same thing. I don’t know Wren all that well so I don’t know if she was around when Caroline died, but from the looks on the siblings’ faces they both know that wasn’t the direction they wanted things to go tonight.

  “Ford, how about we grab some dessert?” I say, trying to change his train of thought. He looks at me, the gleam in his eyes slowly coming back, and he smiles softly.

  “I’d love that.” He takes my hand and pulls me up. “And for the record,” he yells back. “Lincoln shit his pants when he was seventeen!” He pulls me out of the room before a fight between the brothers erupts, laughing the entire way to the kitchen.

  “You’re insane,” I laugh, leaning against the island. He’s standing in the doorway still, looking at me like he looked at me that night in the restaurant. “What?”

  “Thank you,” he whispers.

  “Why?”

  “I knew you were my glue.”

  I walk over to him and wrap my arms around him. There are no words for what I feel for him. At least not words I’m ready to say now.

  “Just me?” Caroline asks, her legs twisting in mine as we lie in the hammock out back.

  “Always and only you,” I murmur, my lips on her hand. “That’s a stupid question.”

  “What if I die?” Her tone is curious but just the thought of losing her hurts me.

  “Why would you want to talk about something so morbid?” I furrow my brows, unable to even think about a world without her in it. I couldn’t make it.

  “Just curious. I mean…would you move on?”

  “Caroline, I wouldn’t function in a world without you. You’re my life. You die, I die. Moving on isn’t an option,” I say. She sighs and curls into me as I wrap my arms tight around her. “Always and only you,” I whisper.

  I jolt forward in bed, beads of sweat rolling down my forehead and out of breath. That’s the most real dream I’ve had in years. And it was terrifying. I roll out of bed, instinct bringing me to the fridge but there’s nothing in here anymore. Not after a month of being alcohol free. I grab my phone and before running out to get a drink to calm myself, because that’s how much that dream shook me, I shoot Mack a text. I’ve only had to do this a handful of times over the last month. The first week was the worst and she pretty much lived here that week. We’re down to just a couple times a week…but this dream was too close.

  Me: Hey

  Immediately my phone dings.

  Mack: You ok?

  Me: No.

  Mack: Want me to come over?

  Me: …yeah. And no. Don’t get out this late. Just talk to me. What’re you doing?

  MACK: I’m almost done with this book and it’s awesome.

  ME: Yeah? You should read some to me.

  My phone rings shortly after my text is sent and I answer.

  “Hi,” I say, lying flat on my bed and trying to regulate my heart rate.

  “What happened?” she asks and I shake my head.

  “Just read to me, ok? I just need to hear your voice.” Every time I try to close my eyes as Mackenzie starts reading, I see Caroline there. I feel her body wrapped around mine. I don’t even think that dream ever happened in real life. No one we ever knew had a hammock like that. But it felt so real.

  Mackenzie’s voice soothes me. I couldn’t tell you what this book is about, but the fact that it’s midnight and she’s reading to me to calm me down is exactly what I need right now. This past month Mackenzie and I have grown closer than I ever thought she’d let us get, but I can’t say I hate it. Not one bit. Something about the way she handled the news about Caroline, and her willingness to help me out of this darkness that wraps itself around me every now and then makes me feel more for this girl than I thought humanly possible. Especially after only being together a little over a month.

  “The end,” she whispers and the line goes silent as I stare at the ceiling. “Ford?”

  Her tone’s so soft and sweet I wish there were four more chapters to listen to.

  “Yeah?” I say finally.

  “You okay?” I can tell she’s lying down in bed and I smile.

  “I am. Thank you, Mackenzie.” I curl b
ack into bed and the only thing missing is her right here next to me.

  “I told you I’m here for you. We’ll get through this.”

  “I owe you,” I mutter, my eyes growing heavy.

  “Sleep, Ford.”

  “Night, Mack,” I whisper, ending the call and falling asleep, much happier and peaceful than I was when I woke up.

  My parents are heading out on their vacation today so as soon as we get them off and running I’m grabbing Mackenzie for a day date she’s not suspecting.

  “You promise to check in with us?” My mom asks, worry tracing her face as she clings tight to Carter.

  “We’ll all check in. You two have fun.” Lincoln takes Carter back and the kid wriggles his way out of his arms and takes off for the back yard.

  “We’re going to make sure Reagan doesn’t burn the place down, Ma.” I grin at her and she slugs me in the arm.

  “Mom. It’s fine. You and dad have never taken a trip for yourselves. Enjoy it, you deserve it. And don’t worry about us. We’re grown adults,” Reagan says, then eyes me. “Most of us, at least.”

  “Har fucking har,” I chuckle then give my mom and dad a tight squeeze each. “Go. Shoo. Call or text when you guys find the boat.”

  “We love you kids.” My mom hugs us all once more and my dad slides into the driver’s seat of their SUV.

  “Love you Ma!” I scream louder than the other two, earning an eye roll from my mom. I grin and nudge Lincoln. “They love me more.”

  “They have to. You’re the troublemaker.” He grins at me.

  As the three of us watch our parents drive away for their first ever vacation without us, I realize just how much they’ve given up in their life to raise us. I’m a tiny bit jealous I’m not going with them. I’m sure I could’ve had a blast on that boat, but now that this thing with Mackenzie’s taken off I’m actually happy I’m not leaving her. She’s all I need.

  “Big plans this weekend?” I ask Reagan as I drive her back to work. We all left work together to head over and see them off so I’m taking her back before dropping by and stealing Mackenzie.

  “Nah.” She turns in her seat and looks at me. “How’re you doing?”

  “In general?” I ask and she nods.

  “Yeah. With everything…you know…”

  She doesn’t want to say it but I’ve found it easier lately to talk about Caroline and that’s exactly what she’s talking about. The anniversary is coming up. Usually this time of year I’m starting my descent into the black hole and not trying to pull myself out. This year’s different, though.

  “I’m good. I promise, little sis.” I park in front of West House and smile up at the massive, ornate, historical structure. “I’m going to be on this earth for a long ass time still. May as well be happy about it, right?”

  She smiles and her hand rests on my arm.

  “I’m happy for you, Ford. I really am.”

  “Now get out. I have to go steal my girl from work. Call if you need anything.”

  She laughs and heads into the back door of the boutique and I pull away from the curb, turning my car around and heading straight for the bakery.

  On the way there I call Gram.

  “Well hey stranger,” she says, laughing. “Your parents make it off okay?”

  “Yep. They’ve officially left town for a week and a half.” I turn onto Main Street and sit in lunch time traffic. Perfect.

  “That’s good. I’m happy for them.” She pauses. “Everything ok, Ford? You never call in the middle of the day.”

  “Oh yeah, uh…so I’m going to be using your property today.”

  “Okay. Make sure you drop in to say hi if I’m home. You know me and the girls go out on Friday afternoons.”

  “I know, old woman,” I laugh, making her laugh. “No I mean… I’m taking her skydiving. And we’re dropping into the field. So I just wanted to warn you.” I’m smiling wide and can’t help the excitement coursing through me. She’s either going to lose her shit and be pissed or lose her shit and be excited. Either way, I’m stoked to throw a curveball at her.

  “Just don’t get yourselves killed while your parents are away. They’ll never leave on another vacation again.”

  “Funny. No one’s dying today,” I mutter, revving the engine and passing some douche canoe that doesn’t know how to park.

  “Good. I’m going to grab a shower before the girls get here. Have fun now.”

  “Love you, Grams,” I say, parking behind the bakery.

  “Love you, turd.” She ends the call and I can’t help but shake my head and let out a chuckle. She’s called me that since I was four years old and it never gets old hearing her say it. I think now that I’m an adult it’s even funnier than when we were kids. That, and the fact that she didn’t nickname the other two grandkids…just me. Because I’m awesome.

  I head into the back door of the bakery and was planning on sneaking up on Mackenzie and scaring her, but when I see the detail she’s putting onto the wedding cake she’s working on I change my plan. Instead, I lean against the wall, completely out of her view and out of her way, and watch like a creep.

  She’s so patient, making the small swirls on a cake that’s already full of detail. This girl is talent on two legs. She’s focused and patient as she spins the cake on the stand every few seconds, continuing the pattern she’s making until she makes the full loop around.

  When she pauses and sets her tools down, taking a step back and stretching her back out, I clear my throat. She spins quickly and her eyes are wide. On her face is blue and green icing, a puff of what I can only assume is flour, and her apron has a spattering of all different colors wiped on it.

  “Hey there sexy,” I say, grinning at her. Pink color rises on her cheeks and her eyes are still wide. She’s hot as fuck all messed up like this. The bright pink headband keeping her hair from falling into her face and the no makeup look does her wonders. It’s not like the Mackenzie she’s showed me the past month. This is raw and real Mackenzie and I think, standing here in front of her as she worries that she’s not ‘done up’ for me, this is it. This is the girl.

  I fucking love her.

  I feel a pang of guilt, but that’s it. I know I have a lot ahead of me. Like December fourth, which is approaching rapidly, but I know having Mack in my life will help dramatically.

  “I’m definitely not sexy today,” she says, huffing and putting her hands on her hips. “What’re you doing here? Don’t you have work?” Her eyebrows furrow and she’s so cute I can’t help but walk over to her and swipe some of the icing off her face.

  “I left early. No meetings or parties this weekend. It’s a slow one, so I started it early.” I put my finger in my mouth and lick off the icing with her eyes on me. “Shit, Mack. That tasted even better off your skin.” I grin and she groans.

  “I’m so gross, Ford. But I just finished this so that’s good!” I can tell from the look on her face how proud of her work she is so I make a point to get a good look at it.

  “You have every reason in the world to be proud of this, Mackenzie. This is beautiful.” I’m not just saying it either. I’ve seen some ornate cakes come through the doors of the Banquet hall, but nothing like this. Nothing that looked like it was created with love and patience.

  “Thank you,” she says.

  “So are you done for the day?” I glance at my watch and realize I need to speed this up if we’re going to make it.

  “I just have to clean a few things up but yeah.” She nods. “We didn’t have plans, did we?” Her eyes go wide and she looks so worried I have to laugh.

  “Not really. But we do now. I just didn’t tell you. You think Jules can help you get this situated?” I don’t want to rush her…but I need to rush her.

  “Probably,” she says. “Are you going to tell me where we’re going?”

  She walks to the door that takes her to the front of the bakery.

  “Nope. Let’s get a move on it, though.”
<
br />   She laughs and gets Jules to come help and in minutes we’re out the door and Mackenzie’s too busy fussing with her hair to see me coming. I wrap my arms around her from behind as we walk to the car and she screams, then laughs as I lift her and tickle her sides.

  “Stop!” she laughs. “I stink!”

  “No such thing,” I murmur in to her neck as I press kisses to her soft skin. “I wanted to do that when I first walked in, but you were so focused on the cake I would’ve felt bad if I’d have made you ruin it.”

  “Well, thank you,” she says. “I’m happy that’s finished.”

  We get into the car and she buckles up then looks over at me as we spin out into traffic.

  “So you gonna tell me yet?”

  “Please don’t be mad,” I say, pulling onto the interstate.

  “Why would I be mad?” She asks hesitantly and I grin at her. “Ford?”

  “You know that one thing you said the other day that tops your bucket list?”

  “Skydiving?” She blurts, eyebrows raised. “Are you taking me skydiving?!”

  “That I am,” I say smugly.

  “Oh my God!” she’s doing that shrieking thing she does when she gets excited and I can’t help but chuckle.

  “Mack. You can’t make that noise in the plane, okay?”

  “Oh my God, we’re jumping out of an airplane. Holy hell, I’m about to jump out of an airplane! How long until we’re there? Where are we jumping to? Who’s going to jump with us?” She’s rambling and cute as fuck.

  “Whoa, whoa,” I laugh. “Calm those tits. I’ve done this so many times I’m practically an instructor myself. The guy I go to is awesome, and he’s letting us land on my Gram’s property.” I glance over at her excited face and my heart swells. If this is what it feels like to make her happy, then I don’t ever want to stop.

  “This is so exciting!” She stretches across the console and plants a huge, wet kiss on my cheek and if I weren’t as excited as she is to get in that plane with her I’d pull this car over and fuck her right here on the side of the road.