UnStable

by M. Piper

  “Tomato soup?” I quirk an eyebrow at him, my stomach growling. “Sorry,” I laugh. “I didn’t realize I was that hungry.”

  “You’re eating for two now. You need to eat like what, all day?” He grins and laughs when I throw my scarf at him. He heads to the pantry and grabs two cans of soup. I could watch this man cook anything and it would never get tiring. Watching someone who looks like him in a kitchen, making something as easy as tomato soup and grilled cheese shouldn’t be turning me on this much, but it really is.

  “Hey, I have to go back to work later. You want to come with?” I smirk at him and hope he does, because I could do some really naughty things with him with all that leftover, unused icing I’ve got sitting in the cooler. Man, these hormones are making me horny. Ford looking at me like he is right now isn’t helping either.

  “It’s a snowstorm out there and you’re going to drive back to work in the dark?” His hand is stalled above the grilled cheese and I raise my eyebrows.

  “You’re going to burn my dinner,” I say, propping my feet on the chair. “And yes. I have to go finish a few things that need to be done by the morning. You’re more than welcome to come with me.” I bite my lip and his mouth lift into a smirk, but before he can answer, his phone rings in his pocket.

  “Hold that thought,” he says, then curses before answering it.

  “What?” He snaps, grinning at me. He lets out a heavy sigh and shakes his head. “Yeah. No that’s fine. I’ll be there in an hour or so.”

  He ends the call and pouts at me, his lip sticking out way too far.

  “What was that about?”

  “Wren and Linc’s babysitter flaked tonight. I gotta go watch Carter.” He makes a face but I can’t help but smile at him.

  “Family comes first, Ford,” I stand and walk over to him, hugging him. “It’s really a turn on how involved you are with your family. And reliable.” I press my lips to his neck when he flips my sandwich. “And you’re super sexy making these sandwiches for me,” I whisper, nibbling his ear lobe.

  “You want sex or this awesome grilled cheese? Because I can only do one.”

  I push my finger to his dimple gently and he laughs when my stomach growls.

  “Food. Definitely food first,” he says, laughing.

  We eat quickly because he needs to get to Lincoln’s, but after we’re done and I’m cleaning up the dishes he wraps his arms around me.

  “You’re so sexy being all domestic,” he growls, pushing his lips to the side of my neck and I melt back into him.

  “You gotta go soon, don’t you?” I ask, a giggle escaping me when his hands grasp my tits.

  “I got all the time in the world for you, Mack.”

  I drop the plate in the sink and turn, lifting an eyebrow and pulling my shirt over my head.

  “Gotta catch me first,” I whisper, bolting past him. I hear him laugh and soon he’s lifting me in the air and we fall onto the bed, tangled limbs. My laughter turns into moans when he dips his head and bites onto my nipple. I’m burning with need for this man. When he slides his hand between my legs, a low growl rumbles through him.

  “Holy fuck, Mackenzie.” He pulls his fingers out of me and I grin. “You’re so wet!” His eyes are wide and full of lust when he brings his fingers to his lips.

  “Pregnancy hormones,” I laugh. “That, and the fact that you’re mega fucking hot cooking dinner for me.”

  “Fuck, if that’s what cooking you dinner gets me, sign me up for life.” He slams his lips to mine and in no time I’ve wrestled his clothes off him. He flips me on the bed and I go to my knees, ass in the air for him. Glancing back at him, he locks eyes with me when he slams into me once, hitting deeper than ever before and I moan, letting my head fall to the bed but when he fists his hand in my hair he pulls my head up and thrusts into me hard. I meet his every pump, and when he pulls me up on my knees and his teeth latch on to my shoulder, I start to shudder.

  “Fuck, Ford, I’m so close,” I whimper, his dick hitting my g-spot so fucking good.

  “Play with yourself,” he whispers in my ear and my hands tighten on his thighs. “Reach those pretty fingers between your legs and play with yourself, Mackenzie. You know you want to.” I moan and reach between my legs. “That’s my girl,” he whispers in my ear. The minute my fingers start those tight circles around my clit I come completely undone. I scream out, my legs buckling and my entire body quaking as I come. Ford thrusts into me hard once, then twice more and when he releases into me I can feel his dick pumping into me and I’m so turned on I could probably go for more immediately.

  We collapse onto the bed, both of us coming down from that and wrap ourselves in each other’s arms.

  “I want to stay like this all night,” I say breathlessly into his chest. His arms are wrapped so tight around me I could fall asleep here and sleep for days.

  “Me too,” he murmurs, but when his phone dings he groans. “But I have to babysit.”

  He pushes his lips to mine after pushing my hair out of my face. “I love you,” he whispers.

  “I know.” I smirk and hop off the bed to get dressed. The faster I can get this work done the faster I can get back here with him.

  By the time I make it back to the bakery, Jules is already home and cozy and wouldn’t meet me here but I’m okay with that. I really need to get these cupcakes done and without anyone here to distract me I should be able to knock these out in no time.

  I turn on the music loud and get to work. My phone dings right as I get into it and I grin at the screen.

  Ford: Punk already fell asleep on me.

  Attached is a picture of Carter sleeping stretched across Ford and I smile wide. That little boy has his uncle wrapped around his little fingers. My hand goes to rest on my abdomen and I type out a response.

  Me: Snuggle him, Uncle Ford. He’s cold!

  I slide the phone back to the counter and get back to work. Another text comes in soon and I’m pausing again, grinning.

  Ford: Laid him in bed. Kid needed his pillows. Show me your tits.

  I laugh out loud and take a selfie.

  Me: I’m in my apron I need to wash. Hot mess.

  I send the picture and he sends a reply immediately.

  Ford: I’d tap it ;) Be safe. Come home soon.

  Me: I love you <3

  Ford: Always, babe. Always.

  I put the phone into my back pocket and turn up the music, wanting to be done and out of here and back in his arms.

  It takes me about two hours after setting up but I finally finish just as the evening is winding down downtown. I love the location of this bakery. Right in the middle of the business district of downtown Springfield. There’s lunch eateries on both sides of me so we’re always slammed around lunch time for people wanting desserts. We’re starting to open early, too, for baked goods in the morning but only three days a week so far. There are always people around and everyone here knows Jules and I. Springfield isn’t a small town by any means, but it’s definitely nothing like Orlando and the people here are surprisingly nice as hell.

  Just as I’m locking the front door, bundled up from head to toe because the snow’s really coming down, I hear his voice and freeze.

  “You’re the reason my entire life is fucked,” Eric’s voice snickers from behind me. My eyes go wide and for a brief moment I think maybe I should unlock the door and go back in, but I can’t run from him all the time. We both need to be able to live in this city. So instead, I turn and look at him. He’s in a short sleeve shirt that looks like it hasn’t been changed in days and his face is all kinds of fucked from what Ford did to it last weekend.

  “What do you want, Eric?” I ask, shoving my purse tighter on to my shoulder and walking around him. He stops me by stepping in front of me and my eyes dart around the street, praying we aren’t the only ones out here.

  “Sandra left me,” he hisses. “And it’s all because of you, you fucking cunt.” Phlegm fires from his mouth as he spits the
words at me that make me want to cry. It’s not my fault. I know it’s not my fault. I also know I shouldn’t be here right now. Not with him. He looks like he hasn’t showered since the fight the other night and he reeks of alcohol.

  “I’m sorry to hear that, Eric. But I had nothing to do with that. You made your bed. Now you have to lie in it. Excuse me.” I push past him but realize too late it was probably the wrong move. He grabs my ponytail and slams me to the concrete. My forehead hits the cold ground and the ice and snow that’s collected on the pavement is shoved into my nose. I try to fight him, but when his knee comes to rest on my back the only thought is ‘not the baby. Please not the baby.’ I whimper and try to get out of his grasp, but I’m at the point of being too scared to move.

  Why is no one seeing this? Where the hell is everyone?

  “And now,” he whispers in my ear. “I hear you’re bringing that fuckstick’s kid into the world?” He snickers, gripping my hair and lifting my head up. “God, Mackenzie. You’re fucking beautiful,” he pants, then presses his lips to mine and I bite his lip hard the first chance I get. He growls, slamming my head back into the ground and this time I taste the metallic taste of blood and can only hope it’s his, but the pain in my nose tells me it’s mine.

  I groan and when he lets go of me I think the worst is over. I curl into a ball, trying to catch my breath but then it happens. His boot connects with my stomach. Not once. Not twice. But a slew of times while he spits hatred out of his mouth. He gets one more solid kick to my ribs and takes off, leaving me alone and cold on the snowy concrete.

  My body is radiating pain and on fire. I can’t breathe, I can’t take a breath, and I already know without a shadow of a doubt…fuck I don’t even want to think it. I try to yell for help, but it hurts too bad to use that much effort. It’s all I can do to grab my phone and hit send two times, calling the last person I called.

  “Hey, you get everything done?” Jules says.

  “I need your help,” I manage and then start to cry hysterically as the pain roars through me. “Jules, I need you!”

  “You’re going to be a dad.” Caroline’s sitting next to me and she’s as beautiful as the day she left me.

  “Yeah,” I whisper, guilt ebbing at me. “I’m sorry,” I tell her. “I’m really happy with Mackenzie. I know she’s the one…”

  Her hand rests on my knee and she smiles at me.

  “I’m happy for you, Ford.”

  The minute the words flow from her mouth I feel something released from me. Guilt? Worry? Whatever it is, after years of grief, it finally feels…right. Okay.

  She gives me a hug and I watch her walk away from me for the final time.

  My eyes crack open in my room and all I see is black. I’ve dreamed about Caroline too many times to count over the years but it’s never been like that. It’s always been sad, depressing, and scary. This was the closure I think I needed. It didn’t make me wake up in terror that I’ve once again lost the love of my life. It didn’t make me want to reach for the bottle. It only made me happy. Happy that I finally see the value in living my life. I lie there in the dark bed and my mind wanders to the dream. That was the first dream I’ve ever had that I woke up feeling refreshed and excited for living another day.

  I glance over at the clock, knowing I finally passed out a little after midnight, but it’s two am and Mackenzie’s still not here. Where is she? She couldn’t possibly still be working at this hour. Sitting up, I rub the sleep from my eyes and find my phone. There are no missed calls, no new texts…nothing.

  Now I’m worried. It’s a winter storm out there and she’s closer to my home than she is hers. I figured she’d be coming home…to me. Maybe she went back to her place?

  I dial her number but it goes straight to voicemail, making my anxiety rise to levels I’m not proud of. I’ve never been one to obsess over something, but this is giving me a horrible feeling for some reason.

  I hit dial again, being sent to voicemail once more then as I’m typing out a text, my phone rings with an unknown number and I get that plummeting feeling in my stomach. Something just doesn’t feel right about this.

  “Hello?” I answer hesitantly. Maybe it’s just a wrong number. Hopefully it’s just a wrong number.

  “Ford?” The girl blurts and I think I could be sick. I know that voice.

  “Jules? What’s wrong? Why are you calling me?” There’s panic in my tone and I hope I’m just overreacting.

  “You… You should come up to the hospital. St. Johns.”

  “Why?” I blurt, rushing around the house to find my clothes and shoes. “What happened, Jules?” Where the fuck are my keys? “Where’s Mackenzie?”

  “Ford, she’s fine. It’s fine. Just…get up here, okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m on my way.” I rush out the door and after a mad sprint to clean off the fucking car, I’m on the road driving way to recklessly for this time of night in the winter weather but there’s only one thing on my mind right now and it’s definitely not the fact that I may crash my car.

  It’s Mackenzie. And the baby.

  I rush inside after pulling into what I think was a parking spot, but the hospital hasn’t cleared the spots and I don’t have time to worry about that shit right now. I rush into the ER and find Jules waiting by the double doors, her eyebrows pulled together as she looks at something on her phone.

  “Jules,” I blurt, rushing over to her. Her eyes fly to mine and go wide immediately.

  “Thank God you’re here.” Her arms wrap around me and I return the gesture briefly, but don’t hold on for long because I need my Mackenzie.

  “What happened? What’s going on?” I shove my hands through my hair then into my pockets to try and hide the anxiety racing through me.

  “Eric got to her, Ford. All she said was his wife left him, he freaked out. Somehow he knew about the baby…he got her good, too.” She shakes her head and my blood starts to boil. I never wanted anyone dead in my entire life but I knew I should have ended him that night.

  “Where is she? What the hell do you mean he got to her? Why’s she in the fucking hospital, Jules?” I really need to rein this in before I see Mack. She doesn’t need to see me this wound up, it’ll just make her worry and that’s the last thing she needs right now.

  “I’ll take you to her. Come on.” She pushes through the doors and heads down the hall, stopping at one of the emergency room bays and taking a breath. “I’ll be out here if either of you need me.” She pulls the curtain aside for me to step in.

  “Holy shit, baby,” I whisper, trying to take in the sight in front of me without freaking out. She tries saying something, but it comes out a suppressed sob.

  I rush to her, fire in the pit of my stomach a ball of nerves ready to explode because I feel like the only good news walking out of here is that I still have my girl. But that’s it. She cries into my shirt, each tear that falls from my eyes ten fall from hers. She doesn’t have to say the words; hell, I don’t want to hear them. I know.

  She lost the baby, and it hurts more than words can explain.

  Her fingers grip onto my shirt tightly and she wraps her body around mine as I sit on the side of her bed. I’ve never felt pain like this. I’ve never felt so high just to come crashing down so low. I wanted that baby more than life itself.

  “I’m so sorry,” she whispers, hiccupping into my neck where she’s nuzzled her face, hiding from me. I smooth my hand down her back and squeeze my eyes shut tight.

  “Shhh,” I manage. She has absolutely nothing to be sorry about. But if I try to talk right now I know I’ll start to choke up again and I need to be strong for her. I’m hurting, but she’s hurting more.

  The doctor walks in and clears her throat after what feels like a lifetime of holding Mack on that bed. I turn to look at her and the look on her face says it all.

  “Mrs. Mueller, I just need to check a few things then I’ll go over your at home care instructions with you and get you on your way.” Sh
e eyes me for a moment then looks back at Mackenzie. “Are you ok with him being here for this part?”

  I glance at Mackenzie and she nods, giving my hand a gentle squeeze.

  “Whatever you have to say to me, he needs to hear too.”

  As I sit here studying her face, partially listening to the doctor, I finally have time to really look at my girl and the longer I do the longer I want to leave here, buy a fucking gun, and end this once and for all. The split lip with two small stitches keeping it together. The blood caked in her eyebrow, the bandage on her forehead. I’ve never wanted to kill someone so bad before.

  She sits up a bit and cringes and my eyes fly to the doctor.

  “You need to take it easy the next week or so, Mackenzie. Your body’s had a ton of trauma. You don’t want to hurt anything else.” She sets her clip board on the foot of the bed and I watch as she fluffs the pillows. “Can you lie back for me? I need to check your abdomen.”

  My eyes go wide when the realization hits what she’s talking about. The doctor’s demeanor softens and I sit and watch as Mackenzie lies back, wincing from the pain too many times to count. Each time she shows how much pain she’s in is another reason on my list to kick Eric’s fucking ass all the way to China. Her hand tightens on mine and her eyes lock on me as the doctor pulls her gown up the slightest.

  I don’t want to look. I don’t want this to be real. But when Mackenzie clenches her fist around mine and squeezes her eyes closed, I flick my gaze to her stomach and if I could explode, I fucking would.

  I let out a puff of air and the doctor’s eyes hit mine sadly then she gives me a reassuring smile, soft and barely there, but she’s trying. I’ve never known doctors to have good bedside manner, and I should know with as much time as I’ve spent in hospitals.

  As she pushes around Mackenzie cringes and squeezes my hand tighter but barely makes a sound. I look away, because I can’t stare at the bruising without wanting to storm out of here, and lean down, pressing my lips to her nose. A tear slips out of her closed eyes and I sigh, absolutely hating this feeling of helplessness.