Dissolve

by Hunter, L. V.

  “She’s insinuating I’m fat, Dad.”

  “She’s worried about your health!” His neck gets red like it always does when he’s about to explode. “Be polite to the people who are worried about you and stop being so damn prickly!”

  I swallow, but my throat is dry and acidic. Loretta’s smile is barely smug enough for Dad to notice, but I do. I always do. And she always, always, gets away with making me feel stupid, or not good enough.

  “It’s alright, Clarence,” She reaches out to Dad’s hand and covers it with her own. “She’s just mistaken my tone, is all. A woman’s weight is a sensitive subject for every girl.”

  There’s a tense silence as Dad glares at me and Loretta eats like a self-satisfied cat. My stomach is roiling, like I’m about to throw up. I can’t even touch my food without thinking she’ll judge me for eating here, too. But that was her plan all along - make me uncomfortable.

  “You know, Clarence,” Loretta starts. “I’ve been thinking about that trip to New York we were talking about. You know the tickets go on sale this week. I was thinking, if we had a little extra, we’d book them today and take a nice Christmas vacation early.”

  “I don’t know, hon. We don’t have that kind of money right now,” Dad grunts.

  Loretta fixes her eyes on me. “It’s only a bit extra. We can definitely save it if we cut down on….expenses.”

  And now she’s pounding the guilt nail into my coffin.

  “I keep asking her to get a loan,” Dad sighs. “Everyone else has one.”

  I slam my fork down, hard. “So that it, then? You abandoned Mom and me, and left her to raise me for the last ten years. You decided to come back into my life when I graduated, and I asked you for help, but suddenly I’m a burden? Didn’t you say the shop was doing well?”

  “Expanding to another location costs money, Eve,” Dad swells up. “So yes, you and your mother are financial drains on me right now -”

  I stop listening, whether out of shock or disgust, I can’t tell. My ears ring with rage.

  “So that’s it, huh? That’s all we’ve ever been to you - drains. We drained you of happiness, so you left. We drain you of your patience. And now we drain you of your precious money.”

  “How dare you speak to me like that -”

  “God does not look kindly on girls with smart mouths who disrespect their parents, Eve.” Loretta uses her warning voice.

  “Shut the hell up, Loretta,” I snap. “This doesn’t involve you.”

  Loretta looks like I’ve stabbed her. “Clarence!” She practically shrieks. “Did you hear what she just said to me?”

  Dad shakes his finger at me, face a beet-red. “You apologize right now, Eve, or so help me -”

  “You’ll what?” I snap. “Throw me out? That’s fine. I was just leaving, anyway. Oh, and don’t worry about the tuition - enjoy New York.”

  I stand and storm to my room. Dad follows me, yelling.

  “Unlock the door right now! Eve! I command you to unlock the door right now!” His fist banging on the door is terrifying. I’ve never heard him this angry before. I stuff everything in my backpack and pull the window open. It isn’t a far drop, and I’ve done it before to sit on the first-story roof and watch the stars. I’ve just never gone all the way down. This is crazy. This is absolutely crazy, but I need to get away from this shitty family. I lower myself from the edge and drop into what looks like a bush. It was taller than I expected, and my leg twists under me. The pain only lasts a second, though. I’m on my feet and walking away as fast as I can through the cold, wet grass. I can hear Dad’s yells from the open window, faint and still as furious as ever. It only spurs me on faster. My heart is jumping crazily in my chest, adrenaline pumping my legs farther. I head for the only place I know is open at this time - a McDonald’s. The tired-looking woman at the cashier doesn’t ask questions at my harried appearance, she just gives me the soda and french fries I order. I sit in the back, farthest from the window so I can’t be seen from the street in case Dad drives by.

  I open my phone with shaking hands. I have nowhere to go. I could call a cab, but I don’t know how many would drive out this far to the suburbs to pick me up, and it would be ridiculously expensive. I need every dollar of my emergency debit card to buy a bus ticket home.

  I scroll through my contacts, and Hayley’s voice echoes in my memories.

  ‘I’ll come get you. No matter what time, or what the weather is. I promise.’

  It’s worth a try. I’m sure she won’t even bother coming to get me after I interrupt her at whatever party she’s at. But I have to try, at least.

  Hey, I text. Sorry to bother you, but can you come get me? My Dad chased me out of the house.

  The answer comes a moment later.

  Who’s this?

  I’m worried for a second I have the wrong number, but then I realize I haven’t entered her name in my phone, either. It’s just numbers. She probably gets a ton of numbers from a lot of people.

  It’s me, Evelyn. From the coffee shop? Brown-hair, gray eyes, probably wearing an ugly flannel?

  There’s another pause, and then an answer.

  Where are you now?

  I give her the address, and she says to wait, and that she’ll be there in an hour. I sip my soda and jiggle my leg nervously. I owe her one, for sure. She’s coming across state lines to help someone out she barely knows. She’s a much better person than anyone I know - including myself. Especially myself. After what happened tonight with my own family, it’s confirmed I’m pretty much the biggest shithead alive. I just ruined my relationship with my Dad and my future school funding, all in one fell swoop.

  As I contemplate just how much I’ve screwed myself over for the next few years slash possibly forever, I hear the roar of a motorcycle engine outside. Someone’s getting drive-thru, maybe. But at this hour? It’s not Dad, he drives a tacky convertible.

  I look up and see someone walk in, their leather jacket reflecting the florescent lights dully. Jet-black hair falls in his eyes - uneven eyes. Two-toned eyes.

  “You!” I stand up. Kai sees me, rubbing his hands to warm them as he saunters over.

  “Hey.”

  My heart is beating triple-time, now. “How did you -”

  “I think there might’ve been a mix-up,” He says. “Someone gave you my number.”

  “Hayley,” I insist. “She - she gave me your number?”

  “I guess.” He shrugs.

  “Why?”

  “I don’t know. That girl is all kinds of crafty - who knows what she was thinking.”

  There’s an awkward pause as we both don’t look at each other. The lady at the cashier watches us with interest.

  “I’m sorry -”

  “I’m really sorry -”

  We both blurt it at the same time. I clear my throat.

  “You go first.”

  “I was going to say I’m sorry for that kiss,” He looks up at me with a crooked grin. “But I just realized I’m not sorry at all. And if I said I’m sorry, I’d be lying. I think you deserve better than a lie.”

  I’m so incredulous and flooded with adrenaline and hopelessness I just start to laugh.

  “You’re a piece of fucking work, Kai Jackson.”

  “A masterpiece of fucking work,” He insists, and steals one of my french fries. “Were you gonna apologize for decking me?”

  I nod and swat his hand away from another fry. He laughs.

  “Well, don’t. I deserved it.”

  “I hit you hard,” I insist. “It sounded like it hurt.”

  “Oh, it did. But it definitely wasn’t my first slap from an angry woman. I’ll live, unfortunately.”

  “Living’s not so bad,” I say. “Unless you piss off your immediate family forever and they stop paying for your tuition.”

  “Is that what happened?” Kai asks. It might be the exhaustion, or my newfound ‘fuck it’ attitude, but I tell Kai everything that went down tonight. He listens patien
tly, watching me so intently with his two-tone gaze I have to look away to break the heat building under my face. When it’s over, he whistles.

  “Damn, lioness. Good for you.”

  “Totally. Good for me, having to drop out of college very shortly and all.”

  “They’re assholes. Your Dad is a bonafide jerkoff, and your stepmom sounds like a she-bat straight from hell. Forget them, lioness. You did the right thing.”

  “Yeah, but -”

  “No matter what happens, you stood up for yourself,” Kai insists. “Things tend to turn out alright when you let people know you aren’t to be fucked with.”

  There’s a silence as I eat my fries. Kai stares out the window at the silky midnight sky, his hair the same color.

  “What about you?” I ask. “You knew it was me when I texted you. Why come all the way out here?”

  His smile gets even more crooked. “Why would a guy drive out in the middle of the night to pick up a girl who slapped him and definitely hates him? Good question.”

  My heart lodges in my throat. Kai laughs lightly and stands, stretching his arms over each other.

  “Let’s get outta here, shall we?”

  “It’s okay,” I manage. “I can get home myself -”

  “C’mon, gimme a break, here. It’ll save us both gas if you just come back with me. I can drop you off wherever.”

  “Are you kids heading out?” The cashier lady asks. Kai nods.

  “Yeah. Have a nice night.”

  “Ah, one second.” She jogs around the counter and up to us, holding up her phone. “The I-6 is closed. Apparently there’s been a landslide. Seven people killed. They’ve closed it down to try and rescue any survivors.”

  “Jesus,” Kai sucks in a breath.

  “We could take the back roads,” I say.

  “The ones that go through the forest? No thanks, lioness. I’m not in the mood to star in a horror movie. Besides, it’d take hours that way.”

  “So what do we do? We can’t sleep here,” I snap. He laughs.

  “I dunno, that deep fryer looks pretty comfy.”

  “There’s a motel up the road,” The cashier offers. “My boyfriend works there. I could phone ahead and get you two a discount, if you want.”

  I’m about to refuse, when Kai grins a brilliant grin.

  “That’d be fantastic.”

  The woman flushes a deep red, and I wonder for a split second if that’s what I look like when I talk to him. Shit. I don’t want him to know he affects me like that. That would only feed his overblown ego. The woman makes the call, and Kai hands me the spare helmet.

  “Ready for round two?” He asks.

  “We can’t -” I follow him out of the McDonald’s as he waves goodbye to the woman. “We’re getting separate rooms.”

  “Oh, definitely. I’d never ask a lady with your delicate sensibilities to spend the night in a room with a man.”

  His laugh is drowned by the rumbling of the motorcycle engine. Rage heats me from my head to my toes, and I snap my helmet on and plop myself on the seat behind him.

  “I don’t have delicate sensibilities!”

  “Coulda fooled me,” He shouts as he pulls away from the parking lot. “You practically walked out of a Jane Austen novel or something. Witty, brunette, quiet -”

  “Holy shit!” I yelp as he drives too-close to the edge of the road, and the thirty-foot drop down the hill.

  “I take the quiet part back!”

  “Screw you!” I smack him in the kidney as accurately as I can while hanging on for dear life.

  “Please don’t,” He smirks. “That would do nothing but ruin our blossoming friendship.”

  SIX

  My flush is from the cold wind, definitely not his words. I watch the fir trees flash by, the city twinkling far and away from us. Soon the isolated suburbs become more urban, the neon lights of a tiny gas station welcoming us to a rest stop in the middle of nowhere. The motel is right next to it, huge eighteen-wheeler trucks parked outside. We park in front of the office.

  “Must be where the truckers crash,” Kai says as we get off the bike. “Good sign. That’s how you know it’s clean and cheap.”

  “You know a lot about truckers?”

  “My dad’s one.”

  He doesn’t say anything more, his face growing a little dark. I drop the subject, and follow him into the office. The man at the desk is a balding, middle-aged guy with a tired smile.

  “Evening, folks. You’re the couple Miranda called me about then? I’ve got the perfect room for you - B7.”

  “We’re not a couple,” I say quickly. “And is there any chance we can get two rooms?”

  The man’s eyes flicker between us. “I’d love to, kiddo, but we’re chock full right now. The only other room I have is undergoing renovations - it flooded last week with all that rain. There’s really only that room left.”

  “We’ll take it,” Kai says, slapping down a wad of cash.

  “What?” I hiss at him. “I’m not going to -”

  “Alright then, here’s the key.” He passes it to Kai. “I’m here all night if you need anything - just dial 1 on the phone.”

  “Thank you,” I smile hastily at him before running out of the office after Kai. It feels like all I’m doing is running after him. “We can’t share a room.”

  “Why not?” He whirls and walks backwards to face me, his expression suddenly serious. His green eye is almost emerald in the pink light from the motel sign.

  “Because,” I set my lip. Because Mr. Dowell had me in a dark, small room, and I couldn’t escape. “Because I don’t feel comfortable with it.”

  He pauses, then nods. “Fair enough.”

  Except he keeps walking towards the room. He opens the door, and puts the key in my hands.

  “That’s for you, then.”

  “Where are you sleeping?”

  He points at his motorcycle, and I frown.

  “What? That’s impossible.”

  He shrugs, leather jacket squeaking. “I’ve done it before.”

  “Now you’re being stupid,” I say. “You’re going to freeze out here.”

  “Then give me one of the blankets from the room.”

  I search his face to see if he’s joking. He smirks.

  “Why are you looking at me so intensely? Trust me, I’ll be fine. I’ve slept in worse.”

  “Why?” I demand.

  “Because my Dad loved locking me out of the trailer when he had company over,” He sighs. “Now c’mon, just get inside before you freeze to death.”

  “Yeah, like I’m going to be able to sleep easy while you contract hypothermia.”

  “Look, I’d rather not make you uncomfortable.”

  “And I’d rather not be convicted of manslaughter at nineteen! Get in here.” I huff, grabbing his hand and yanking him inside with me. I try desperately to ignore how warm and rough his palm is, how easily it could swallow mine whole. He just laughs, letting go and sitting down in the hall to unlace his boots.

  “Fine, you win, lioness.”

  I turn the lights on. One king-sized bed sits in the center, a small couch just to the side of it, where a dusty TV waits emptily for someone to turn it on. The bathroom is clean but shabby, with a tiny shower and faded mirror.

  “Home sweet home,” Kai flops on the bed, limbs stretched out like a lazy cat. “I call dibs on the couch.”

  I scoff. “Because at 6 feet, you’re definitely going to fit on that tiny thing.”

  He shrugs. “It beats outside.”

  “You were really going to sleep out there?”

  “Yup.” He pulls his jacket off, then his shirt like I’m not even here. The sight of his olive skin and the spine beneath it dipping into the back of his black jeans makes me shiver. “You mind if I take a shower?”

  “It’s y-your room,” I manage to sound annoyed instead of awestruck, which is a plus. “You paid for it. Do whatever you want.”

  He smirks over h
is broad, bare shoulder at me, his green eye mischievous.

  “Maybe I will.”

  I wait until Kai’s closed the door and started the water to turn on the TV. I can’t believe where am I - spending the night in a motel with Kai Jackson. How the heck did I manage to wrangle myself into this? It’s mostly Hayley’s fault. I swear we’re going to have a talk when this is over.

  For now, I concentrate on the mindless Discovery channel and try to control my breathing. I take stock of my hands, my head, my body. I’m not as terrified as I thought I’d be. I’m not scared at all. Something deep in me whispers I’ll be okay, loud enough to drown out my memories. Kai’s done nothing to hurt me, even though he’s had multiple chances to. He hasn’t even hit on me. Not seriously, anyway.

  The water buffalo on the TV start butting heads, and the announcer starts talking about ‘mating season’, and I instantly change it to cartoons. I have zero patience for that right now. How many girls would kill to be in my shoes? How many girls have already been in my shoes? This exact scenario is probably nothing new for Kai.

  Speak of the devil. He comes out of the shower, damp hair falling sinfully into his eyes. He’s dressed already, and pulling on his jacket before I can say a word.

  “I’m gonna stop by the gas station, see if there’s anything to eat.” He says. “You want anything?”

  “A million dollars would be nice.”

  He laughs. “As you wish.”

  The room is eerily quiet while he’s gone, but it gives me more breathing space. Just act natural, Eve. He doesn’t have his eye on you - you’re not his type. You’ve got the shortest hair imaginable and your ass is flatter than a zombie’s pulse. You don’t carry enough perfume in your purse or have intimate knowledge of how to use condoms. Not that you need to be thinking about condoms, right now, because nothing is going to happen. Absolutely nothing.

  I muss my hair up and growl in frustration. What the hell is this guy doing to me? I can’t get that kiss out of my head, and being so close to him isn’t exactly helping. Somewhere between all my angst I manage to change into my pajamas I brought - an oversized shirt and pants with googly-eyed cartoon puppies on them.

  A knock comes at the door, and Kai’s voice filters through. “You decent?”