“Okay,” I said, nodding to him even though I was suddenly very scared. Who the fuck had access to alchemists who could make a billion dollars in gold coin that quickly? Most of them could barely turn a single coin to gold over the course of a year. “How do I know you won’t try to trap me?”
“You’re already trapped, Miss Quinn. Salt barrier, remember? Try to keep up.” He cocked his head and gave it a three-tap with his finger while condescension twinkled in his eyes. “Now let’s go. The limo is waiting downstairs.” With that, he stepped through my door and made his way down the small hallway toward the stairwell, which was good because the elevator didn’t work, nor had it worked in the entire six year period I’d rented this place. It made me wonder if he knew that already. Hell, he probably did.
“I don’t like this,” Marty said, glancing up at me, before huffing out a long breath that smelled like stale popcorn.
“You and me both, brother,” I said as I pulled out my wallet and pulled my credit card out. Then I tossed it on the table in front of Marty.
“What are you doing?” Marty asked, glancing at the credit card before shifting his eyes to me. “Don’t you want me to come?”
“Of course I want you to come, Marty, but let’s be reasonable. You don’t do well with strangers or wide open spaces. And I have no idea what I’m getting into.” I smiled as reassuringly at him as I could. “I mean, I’ll totally take you if you want, but I’m willing to bet you’d rather stay here, order pizza, and watch HBO.”
Marty bit his lip, clearly thinking over what I’d just said. “I still feel bad about it.”
“Don’t,” I said, waving off his comment. “I’ll feel much better if you’re here where it’s safe. I don’t want something bad to happen to you.” I took a deep breath. “I’ll do a better job if I know you’re here, okay?”
“If that’s really what you want, Quinn…” the manticore trailed off as he leapt off my shoulder and landed on the couch. “I suppose I can stay here all alone and wait for you.”
“You won’t be alone,” I said, pulling out my phone and typing a quick text message.
“I won’t?” Marty said, pausing to look at me for a long time. “Wait, is your mom coming to watch me?”
My cell phone beeped, and as I glanced at the text message I’d received, a wave of relief washed over me.
“Yes,” I said, smiling at him. “She’ll be here in a couple hours. You guys will have a blast.”
“But she always makes me bathe…” Marty whined, but I knew he was going to be just fine. My mom loved the crap out of Marty, and even better, I knew she’d keep him safe.
“Let’s be honest, you could use a bath,” I replied as something dawned on me. The vampire had come in asking about Space Planet Maverick, the same planet my mom had talked about. Only… that was just crazy nonsense, right?
As I turned my gaze toward the vampire so I could ask him about it, he pushed open the door to the stairwell and stood there staring at me. Even with his shades back on, I could feel his gaze boring into me. While it didn’t fill me with any fuzzy warm feelings, he was going to pay me for the pleasure of my company, and at first glance, it seemed like I’d get to keep all my clothes on, so I was going to take him at his word. For now.
4
“So, not that your Hummer limousine thing isn’t nice,” I said, gesturing at the posh black interior where I lounged with the vampire. “But why the fuck couldn’t we just teleport to your facility? I can do that you know…”
I glanced out the window to my left, noting the black Hummer following beside us. In total, there were six of the vehicles, and while I’d not seen any occupants, I had no doubt the motorcade surrounding us was heavily armed. Still, it seemed like a bit much. Even the president didn’t roll deep with this much security.
“I don’t like teleporting.” The vampire stuck his tongue out as his face scrunched up in disgust. “It messes with my digestion.” He showed me his teeth. “I don’t really like flying either, if you were curious.”
“Why not?” I asked, raising an eyebrow at him as I sipped at my bottled water. “I love flying. I even have my pilot’s license because I decided I had a bunch of money I’d rather not have.”
“Well, your money was stolen—”
“All money is stolen,” I said, waving his admonishment off. “I only steal from banks, and if there’s one thing I know, it’s that bankers are scum. Why, I’m practically Robin Hood, you know, if you ignore that whole giving it to the poor, thing.” My cheeks flushed. “I did buy a homeless guy a sandwich once, though.”
“Believe what you like,” the vampire said, turning away from me and kicking his feet up on the seat next to him and leaning backward. “But what you know about the world could fit in a shot glass. And not one of those ounce and a half ones either.”
“Whatever,” I growled, turning my attention to my water. It was cold and wet, and I had half a mind to throw it at the vampire. It wouldn’t hurt him, but it’d make me feel good. Still, the idea of taking on an enraged vampire in what amounted to a steel cage while surrounded by goons wasn’t high on my priority list, especially since I could see from the runes emblazoned into the ceiling, I’d be unable to teleport out of here either. Man, they really were taking no chances.
It probably should have scared me, but by now, I was numb to the whole thing. They wanted to talk, and while I wasn’t sure if a billion dollars in gold was actually waiting for me, I was inclined to find out because I could totally be bought.
I mean, not in that way, but in most ways. A girl’s gotta eat, after all.
Besides, a billion dollars would go a long, long way. As I’d said before, I didn’t really steal more than I needed, and I didn’t exactly work because I look really stupid in those hats the drive thru places always want you to wear. It meant I was pretty much perpetually poor. I know, I could have stolen more, but after one of the witches I’d gone to school with caught an axe to the face from an angry leprechaun when she’d stolen his pot of gold, and another had gotten killed by a vengeful mob boss, I’d decided not to rock the boat. After all, money doesn’t spend when you’re dead.
Unless you’re a vampire, I guess…
Either way, that meant I didn’t steal from anyone who’d do more than file an insurance claim for what I’d taken, assuming they even noticed it. That was also why the encounter with the FBI had been so weird. It was almost like they’d known I was coming there because they’d shown up within seconds of me knocking the thieves on their asses. Only, there was no way they’d have known I was going to rob that bank that day… I’d seriously just picked it out of an online search, and oh my god, they’d hacked my computer. Fucking NSA douchebags…
Only why would they care? I mean, surely it wasn’t just because I was a bank robber…
“So, what’s this about Space Planet Maverick?” I asked, before taking a sip of my water. Man, just saying that made me feel a bit loopy. I mean, there were lots of weird things out there, but aliens? Come on.
“I wondered when you’d ask me about that,” the vampire replied, loosening his tie as he pulled off his sunglasses and set them in the alcove behind his seat. “There’s a PowerPoint prepared back at the base. I’m told it’s quite good.”
“I hate PowerPoints,” I said, waving away his response with one hand. “Why, I remember back when I was getting my MBA that the teacher wanted us to all do PowerPoints, and I refused, opting to make a poster instead.” I took a deep breath. “It, um, didn’t go well.”
“I’m not fond of PowerPoint either. I feel like it’s lazy.” The vampire smiled at me, revealing his fangs as his eyes colored with mirth. “Maverick is a planet that is about seventy-seven thousand light years from Earth. It is ruled by lizard people bent on crushing the galaxy beneath their slimy heel. In keeping with the Concords of Arcadia, we have been tasked to go there and kill the fuck out of them.” The vampire shrugged as if what he’d just said made sense when it absolutely, posi
tively made no fucking sense.
“What the actual fuck are you talking about?” I asked, glaring at the vampire because he had to be messing with me. Like A lot. In fact, he might as well have said Thanos was coming, and we were assembling the Avengers to safeguard the Earth.
“About a hundred fifty years ago an alien came to Earth. His name was Tesla, and he was pretty fucking smart. He gave us a bunch of stuff, but in exchange for that information, he offered us a deal. We would join the Concords of Arcadia which is basically a federation of planets that fight threats to the galaxy.” As I opened my mouth to interject about how there were no such things as aliens, he continued, “And yes, I know there’s lots of galaxies, but we’re using it in the science fiction sense. I could just as easily say universe.”
“Why didn’t you?” I asked, raising my eyebrow at the vampire because it was either go with it and believe his story about the aliens or go insane, and I figured I’d at least start with option A.
“Because I don’t actually know how big the universe is. Do you?” he asked and the way he said it made me think he might actually be seriously asking me. I wasn’t sure, mostly because I’d never thought about it. Every time I even considered the universe, I began to feel very small and inconsequential, and I fucking mattered, goddammit.
“No,” I replied, and he nodded, accepting my answer.
“So yes, we’re a member of the federation of planets, and as such we have a job. Stop douchebags from being douchebags. In this particular case, slimy douchebags from the planet Maverick.” He waved his hand. “If you ever wondered where all the wealth of the world is going, it’s to the secret space program that helps us fight off the extinction level threats from aliens.” He gave me a hard look. “Really.”
“Why aren’t the other planets helping?” I asked before he could say more because I’d just learned conspiracy theories were real. You’d think that with the news I saw every day it wouldn’t be a surprise anymore, but still, this was a lot to take in, especially with that fake news thing going around. “I mean, it sounds like there are a few planets in the federation.”
“We’re the next planet Maverick will encounter.” He waved off his statement. “And Lord Zug’s forces will reach us before the forces of the Federation will.” He shrugged. “Bad timing, mostly. I mean, do you even realize how many cataclysmic events we face in a year?”
“Six?” I guessed, shrugging because I had no idea.
“Humph, I handled six myself last week and still had time for tea with the queen.” He crossed his arms over his chest in a way that made me think he wasn’t joking, but that seemed crazy because there were seven days in a week. Still, if it was true, and he was that badass, it begged a simple question…
“So why do you need me to fight Lord Zug of Planet Maverick?” I asked, squinting my eyes at him as I tried to decide if this was worth a billion dollars. I was starting to have a niggling suspicion that I may not have asked for enough money. “I mean, I’m assuming that’s why you want me.”
“You’d be correct,” the vampire replied, scratching his nose. “We need you because we want you to help us jump our ship to the armada before it gets here, that way we can battle them out there in the void of space far from the prying eyes of the Enquirer.” As he mentioned the magazine, he made a fist. “I really hate those guys.”
“Um… I don’t think I can do that…” I said, swallowing hard. “I’ve never managed to teleport even a car full of people, let alone a battalion of warships.”
“Not a battalion, just one ship with one specially chosen crew.” He shrugged. “And we will hook you up to the pulsar crystals. They’ll drastically increase your powers, sort of like when Professor X used that helmet in the movies to find all the mutants. It’ll be easy peasy.”
“Okay, you know what, I’ll wait for the PowerPoint,” I replied, turning away from the smirking vampire because every single time I asked a question he had a more ridiculous answer. No, I was going to wait and let someone who had an actual personality explain this to me.
“That’s probably wise,” the vampire said, nodding at me. “I’m not really good at explanations. Hell, I only came to get you because the captain said I needed to work on my interpersonal skills. How would you say I’m doing, by the way? Would you rate this experience a five out of five?”
5
“Some of you say the military has lost its way, that it engages in horrible atrocities,” Captain Nolan Brand said as he slashed across the PowerPoint displayed on the massive screen behind him with his laser pointer. He was a tall man with crisp salt and pepper hair, a swagger in his step, and cornflower blue eyes so deep, I would have drowned in them if I was into that whole ruggedly handsome thing or, you know, into men in general. I wasn’t, which was good because his deep baritone would have been enough to make my panties moist otherwise.
“And maybe that’s true. Maybe the government has forced the military to engage in some dark, unspeakable things, but that doesn’t change what I know to be true. That, at its core, the military is honorable and good, noble people serve there. And it is those good people who have made it so we enjoy the freedoms we take for granted today. No, without the honorable soldiers deployed across the galaxy, we’d have been snuffed out by the cannibalistic Farn or crushed like ants before the humongous NN’mur.” He raised his fist in the air and slammed it down on the oak podium in front of him, eliciting a crack that I felt deep in my gut. “But we persevered, and like last time, we will persevere again. It is why you have all been brought here, to serve your country and your planet and bring defeat to the nefarious Lord Zug.”
“Can you believe this guy?” Chloe, the lithe six-foot blonde werewolf next to me, said as she elbowed me in the side. She was one of three others seated in the mid-sized conference room deep beneath the earth’s surface with me. And despite trying to sit as far away from her as possible, I’d somehow wound up right next to her, which was annoying because not only did she smell like wet dog, but she kept talking. “I can’t believe the bullshit he’s—”
“Is there something you’d like the rest of us to hear, Miss Deveraux?” Captain Brand said, settling his beautiful blue eyes on the werewolf.
Her mouth fell open as she shrank back in her cheap plastic folding chair like she was trying to turn invisible. I’ll be honest, I actually shifted away from her so I wouldn’t get caught in his tractor-beam-like stare and be guilty by association. It was that bad. My only saving grace was that I didn’t actually know her, but either way, her own embarrassment was so thick, I felt it in the pit of my stomach.
“Yeah!” Chloe said, face twisting into anger as she popped to her feet and balled her fists at her hips, somehow going from tiny mouse to badass bitch in the span of a second. Her eyes glowed amber as she took a step forward and steeled herself. I could feel heat wafting off of her, indicating she was seriously considering going all crazed wolf-woman on his ass.
That would have probably been bad since there were at least ten guards with futuristic looking pulse rifles standing around the room. Something told me there were even more defenses that I couldn’t see. Either way, while I knew werewolves could take so much damage they actually defined the term meat shield, I wasn’t sure even she could take that many rifle blasts. Especially, since I was willing to bet more than one had some silver close at hand for just such an occasion.
“Well, don’t be shy, Miss Deveraux. Please, enlighten me on why I’m talking shit?” Captain Nolan Brand raised an eyebrow that was slashed through the center by a single scar that made me think claw mark. Then he took a step back, sweeping his arm out to give her the floor.
Chloe bit her lip, and I could see the thoughts flowing through her brain. She didn’t want to do this, but she was a werewolf, and they also never backed down from challenges. No, she had to go up there. If she didn’t, she’d be seen as weak, and while there were no other werewolves, or shifters of any kind, in this room, she wouldn’t back down because she
was an alpha.
I could tell that just by the power wafting off of her like desert heat, and as such, she had to kick ass and take names, even if it was in a room full of guards. That was one of the reasons I never wanted to be around them. It was like being around a group of frat boys trying to one-up each other until a fight started.
“I said this is bullshit. You are talking about soldiers on some planet or another.” She gestured toward me like I was exhibit A in a trial. “But she’s not a soldier. She’s a fucking witch.” She turned her eyes toward the vampire. “He’s a blood sucking leech.” Her finger darted through the air like a striking cobra as it landed on the person on the other side of the vampire. “And I dunno what the fuck you are. Some kind of fish person?”
“I’m an Atlantean,” the fish person said, only it sort of came out like a warble because of the way his huge, fishlike jowls moved. The red lobster thing had huge, watery eyes and a beard of tentacles like Davy Jones in the Pirates movies. Just looking at him with his barnacle-encrusted flesh was enough to let me know I’d never so much as stick a toe in the goddamned ocean again. Which was unfortunate because I really loved the ocean, and I looked damned good in a bikini.
Or, well, I would once I got off my cupcake diet.
I unconsciously looked down at my thighs and rubbed them with one hand. Maybe I should start my diet early. It was time to get back into the dating pool, after all.
Aww, fuck it. Anyone who saw me naked would totally fuck me.
“He’s an Atlantean!” Chloe said like she was a lawyer and the creature was exhibit A.
Maverick: A Supernatural Space Opera Novel (Witching on a Starship Book 1) Page 3