Knowing Her

by Raquel De Leon

  “Mm,” Holly said with a tender kiss to the side of Teresa’s neck. “So am I.”

  Teresa leaned into her as one kiss became several. “Will you spend the night?”

  Holly pressed a last kiss to Teresa’s skin. “Just a sec. You ready for me to pull out?”

  Still relaxed in post-orgasmic bliss, Teresa nodded.

  The pliant silicone toy slipped free easily, though it did make Teresa hold her breath. She was glad that Holly was never shy about using lube; it never made her feel awkward for being unable to produce much of it naturally.

  With a small grunt, Holly rolled away to release the straps that held the toy in place.

  Teresa shifted slightly in the opposite direction so she could watch Holly’s sure hands make short work of the harness. She let her eyes travel up to the smooth planes of Holly’s face. It was clear Holly was debating with herself.

  Finally free of the toy, Holly set it aside and scooted back to Teresa. “As much as I’d love to spend the night, I didn’t make arrangements for Mel and my roommate is away visiting her parents.”

  In reflex, Teresa twisted to look at Artemis’s bed. Artemis, of course, had left almost as soon as she and Holly had stumbled their way into the bedroom. Teresa sighed. She couldn’t begrudge Holly wanting to take proper care of her own cat. “One day we won’t be so damn busy that we hardly see each other, right?”

  Holly laughed softly and kissed her forehead. “Right after our respective administrators stop being cheap fucks and hire more people.”

  Teresa smiled and half-heartedly slapped her shoulder. “Don’t say that. You know that will never happen.”

  Holly laughed harder, then buried her face in Teresa’s hair. She inhaled deeply. “Things won’t always be like this,” she amended.

  Appreciative of the admission, Teresa turned onto her back and opened her arms. Holly took immediate advantage of the invitation.

  “Don’t you dare let me fall asleep,” Holly mumbled as she placed her cheek over Teresa’s clavicle.

  “I would never do that to Mel.” Teresa sighed in contentment as Holly remained in place. She loved bearing Holly’s full weight, feeling all of Holly’s soft and supple skin pressed to her own. She hadn’t felt so good since the early stages of her relationship with Sıdıka, back before they’d both realized they made better friends than lovers.

  Aware it was a tactless thought to have while in bed with her current lover, Teresa opted to keep it to herself. Things were different with Holly. Teresa wasn’t a traveling technologist anymore, and she was much more settled than she had been when she and Sıdıka had begun a romantic relationship. Both age and experience had brought some additional maturity.

  Granted, perhaps she and Holly probably should have actually dated before they’d fallen into bed together, but Teresa wouldn’t nitpick every little thing. The sex was fantastic, and they had managed a couple of dates after the first few hookups.

  Teresa jolted herself from her reverie as she felt Holly’s breaths begin to slow. “You awake?”

  “Mm… hm.”

  The response had Teresa moving, lightly but insistently dragging her hands over Holly’s back. “I’m trying to be a grown-up, Holly. Help me do the right thing, please.”

  “That’s it,” Holly grumbled as she grudgingly pushed up onto her elbows, “I’m giving Mel to my brother.”

  Teresa laughed and cupped the side of Holly’s face. “No, you’re not. You love Mel.”

  “Excuse me?” Holly squinted down at Teresa. “Did I ask for your logic?”

  “No, but that’s what you got.”

  “Hm.” Holly shifted so both of her legs were between Teresa’s. “I think I want something else.”

  Teresa bit her lip and decided not to check her alarm clock. She could function on six or so hours of sleep. “Well, I mean, as long as it doesn’t take too long. I don’t want you to pass out driving home.”

  “No worries. What I have in mind will wake me right up.” Holly affected an innocent expression—which was immediately ruined as she locked eyes with Teresa and reached across the bed to blindly feel around.

  “Uh huh.” Teresa held her breath.

  A grin split Holly’s face as she found what she was looking for. She hoisted the bottle of lube like a trophy, then bent to begin kissing the side of Teresa’s neck.

  Teresa giggled, then sucked in a breath when Holly’s mouth found a sensitive spot. Five hours. She could function on five hours of sleep.

  Chapter Two

  Lian was frowning when she reached the bistro. She was late.

  “Noob April,” she muttered under her breath. In theory she didn’t mind having to manage April’s cases; Vivian had done the right thing by removing herself as April’s immediate supervisor. A romantic relationship in their workplace was complicated enough, let alone one between one of the firm’s owners and its newest investigator.

  Lian liked April well enough; April was a good PI. She just didn’t share April’s loose concept of time.

  Knowing she was overreacting, Lian forced herself to relax as she exited her dark blue Civic. She was only seven minutes late. It wasn’t a big deal.

  The bistro, always crowded at lunch time, was a chaotic mess of sound and movement. The nerves Lian had settled began to fray again as she looked around. In the furthest corner of the eatery she spotted her oasis.

  Teresa, in polka dot purple scrubs and her curly hair up in a loose bun, was laughing with Sharon. Lian was smiling before she even realized it. Sharon was dressed more casually in loose stonewashed jeans and a fitted t-shirt. The long ponytail that usually accompanied the outfit was gone, replaced by a newly shorn undercut. Lian made a beeline for their table, filtering out everyone else as much as possible.

  “Your mom must love the haircut,” Lian commented as she took a seat at the table.

  Sharon turned to face Lian with a grin, revealing the small loop that pierced her lower right lip. “Actually, she’s been… kind of weirdly supportive? She even helped me figure out my new binders.” The last was said with a soft tap to her chest.

  “That’s great.” Teresa was beaming at Sharon.

  For a moment, Lian wondered what they looked like to outsiders. Teresa, a very attractive feminine healthcare professional, seated with the recently minted and adorable baby butch Sharon, and Lian in her plain grey slacks and white button-up. She’d been too lazy to mess with her hair that morning, leaving the limp black strands down around her ears.

  She mentally shrugged. It didn’t matter what they looked like to anyone else.

  Sharon glanced down and rubbed a hand over one of the buzzed sides of her head. “It is.” She paused and looked back at Lian. “I know I was kind of an ass when you found me, but I’m so glad you did.”

  Lian shrugged, trying to hide how happy the comment made her feel. “It was my job.”

  Teresa rolled her eyes and reached out to squeeze Lian’s arm. “Please. You’re talking to the wrong people with the humble routine.”

  Not wanting to argue, Lian only tilted her head. “By the way, I’m sorry I’m late.”

  Sharon chuckled and Teresa sighed, the latter retrieving her hand so she could rest her chin on it. “I ordered you some water and the sandwich of the day.”

  Lian perked up and offered Teresa a small smile. “Thanks.” She was pleased that Teresa knew her so well—they had only been friends for a couple of months. Teresa was kind and attentive, truly one of the best people Lian had ever had the privilege of meeting.

  Sharon, over a decade younger than both herself and Teresa, was also an incredible young woman. The least Lian could do after fulfilling her respective contracts to find them, was try and help. Though it had inadvertently been part of her contract, Lian still felt bad about outing Sharon to her mother.

  And, well. Lian couldn’t look at Teresa. She felt terrible that it had taken her years to find Teresa. If she’d been a better investigator when she was younger, she could have
reunited Vivian and Teresa all that much sooner. At least Teresa’s case had been pro bono. Lian had quietly donated the fees she’d earned on Sharon’s case to a local LGBTQ+ shelter that helped homeless youths. She didn’t need the money, not with how well Vivian’s firm paid.

  When a harried waiter arrived bearing their food, Lian let her negative thoughts fall away. The sandwich of the day was beautiful: chicken filet with grilled peppers, avocado, Monterey Jack cheese, tomato, and romaine lettuce on some freshly baked herbal bread. “So, it’s almost June,” she prompted before taking her first bite.

  “I know!” Sharon wiggled in her seat, unmindful of her full mouth.

  Teresa hurriedly dropped her spoon and covered her lips to keep from spitting out her soup. She swallowed and laughed, gently shaking her head from side to side. “Lian wasn’t kidding about how excited you are.”

  Sharon vigorously finished chewing and gulped down the bite of food. “Sorry, but can you blame me?”

  “No, not at all.” Teresa stared off to the side, a dreamy smile on her face. “My first Pride event out of the closet was special. I understand perfectly.”

  Lian watched them both carefully, feeling wistful. They both seemed so happy and at peace. Pride month had never done that for her, at least not to the extent that they seemed to feel it. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that she wasn’t very good at figuring out her own labels. It didn’t matter. She was pleased for her friends.

  Teresa consumed another spoonful of soup, then paused. “It really is a shame Vivian couldn’t come. This would have been a good time to ask if she and April wanted to meet up with me and Holly for the parade.” Lian ignored the flare of irritation she felt at the mention of Holly’s name, forcing herself to listen more attentively. Teresa sighed. “All these years, I never knew Vivian was bisexual.”

  When Teresa’s mouth turned down at the corners, Lian wished she would stop beating herself up. Teresa hadn’t known because she’d run away when she was fifteen and Vivian was a few months shy of fourteen—when they’d both still been in the process of figuring themselves out.

  A change in tone was in order, Lian decided. “Oh, yes. Vivian had a lunch meeting today, correct?”

  Her tone made a furrow appear between Teresa’s eyebrows. “Yes?”

  Lian’s lips twitched. “Did you know the only lunch meetings she takes anymore are with April?”

  Teresa blinked, her mouth twisting with confusion. “Why didn’t they both just come?”

  The question lingered in the air as Lian met Teresa’s gaze. She let a slow smile blossom on her face.

  “Oh my god!” Teresa’s eyes widened, and then she was laughing again. “I can’t believe she ditched us for office sex!”

  Sharon nearly choked on her drink, then began laughing too. “Holy shit!”

  Mission accomplished, Lian went back to her sandwich.

  “I mean, I can’t blame April. Vivian is so hot,” Sharon admitted when she regained control of herself.

  Lian quirked an eyebrow her way and sent a pointed look toward Teresa.

  “Hey, that’s my baby sister!” Teresa protested as she threw a balled-up napkin at Sharon.

  Sharon deflected the napkin with a raised hand, her eyes dancing with mirth. “You’re both hot, get over it.”

  Teresa covered her face, doing a poor job at hiding her smile. “That’s not what I meant.”

  “Sharon,” Lian sedately interjected, “do try to remember that you have a girlfriend.”

  Sharon had the good grace to blush. “Sorry. It’s just, since I came out and everything, I can’t stop just being open about all the things I thought I had to hide before.”

  “A little bit of the filter will come back eventually,” Teresa said kindly. Sharon perked up, obviously glad she hadn’t pushed things too far.

  The peace Lian had wanted earlier came quickly, albeit briefly. She hadn’t violated the letter of either of her contracts in bringing these two women together, but she’d also never done anything like it before. It had just been a good thing to do, maybe even the right thing to do.

  Teresa smiled in her direction. The peace returned in flickers.

  Somehow, she’d even gained some friends she genuinely liked out of it.

  “If you two aren’t going to finish your food, can I have a taste?” she asked when the sentiment began to weigh too heavily in her chest.

  “You can have a taste even though I intend to finish.” The lines around Teresa’s mouth deepened as she tried not to smile. She scooted her bowl closer, her amber-brown eyes full of understanding.

  ***

  Teresa sat back after finishing her soup, torn between heading back to work and lingering with her friends. Since she’d been taking on a lot of overtime, her supervisor had allowed her an extended lunch hour. Though it was nice to have, Teresa’s work ethic made her hesitate.

  “You have to head back to work soon?” Lian asked as she brushed some crumbs from her mouth.

  “Technically, no. We weren’t busy this morning and Allison said I could take a longer break.” Teresa fidgeted with the hem of her scrub top.

  Lian leaned forward, a hint of amusement showing in her eyes and the faint upturn of her lips. “It’s killing you not to be leaving, isn’t it?”

  Teresa gently cleared her throat. “Well—”

  “Don’t bother denying it,” Sharon interrupted. She wiggled her hand flippantly. “You’re in good company for it. We’re all kind of ‘Type A’, aren’t we?”

  “Maybe,” Lian demurred. She looked at Teresa. “If you want to go, we’ll understand.”

  Teresa sucked on her lower lip. “I can stay a little while longer.”

  “Cool. I’m treating us to—what would you both prefer? Tea? Coffee?” Sharon was full of energy again.

  “Tea,” Teresa and Lian said at the same time, prompting them to share a smile.

  “I like Earl Grey, if they have it,” Teresa clarified.

  “That works for me, too.” Lian leaned back as Sharon got up to put their order in.

  “Be right back,” Sharon said right before she darted away.

  A happy tingle traveled down Teresa’s spine. One of her worries about leaving Rhode Island had been losing the few casual friends she’d made there. Such a concern seemed silly in hindsight. No one in her new, small group of friends was transgender, but they were all queer in some way.

  She was glad to be around for Sharon’s questions about gender, to help a young friend find her way—just like some strangers had helped Teresa when she’d been a teenager.

  Beyond that, getting to reconnect with Vivian had been incredible. Before Teresa had run away, they’d been as close to best friends as they could be while Teresa had privately struggled with her gender identity. Teresa wished desperately to have that bond again.

  “Everything alright?”

  The question, quiet and straightforward, pulled Teresa from her thoughts. She smiled, appreciating Lian’s concern. “Yes.”

  Lian pursed her lips in an approximation of a smile, then resumed studying the chalkboard menu at the front of the restaurant.

  Teresa stifled a chuckle, not wanting Lian to think she was laughing at her. Lian had been a pleasant surprise in a different way than Sharon and Vivian. Teresa couldn’t put her finger on what, exactly, made their friendship different. Maybe it was the fact that Lian was so unlike what TV shows and movies made private investigators out to be. Where the fake detectives seemed to be predominantly white males who were unkempt but somehow ‘gifted’ naturals ‘who trusted their guts’, Lian was distinctly disparate.

  The very real Lian, who always wore neatly pressed slacks and tailored button-up shirts, was a successful queer woman of color who relied on both instinct and hard work for her cases. And, as Teresa had found, she was infallibly kind. She’d gone above and beyond in her efforts to reunite Teresa and Vivian, not to mention introducing them all to Sharon.

  When they’d met in person for
the first time, Teresa had been impressed. After getting to know Lian better, Teresa was even more impressed. She hadn’t told Lian that, not yet. Lian was critical of herself, not allowing praise she felt was unearned. And though it could be frustrating, Teresa respected that about her, too.

  She’d work on getting Lian to accept a few compliments here and there. They sat in comfortable silence as they waited for Sharon to return.

  “Two Earl Greys and a Chai for me,” Sharon announced as she sat back down.

  Teresa accepted the insulated paper cup. “Thanks.”