by Kip Nelson
“If it was the smart move, why didn't we stay there?” Peter asked innocently.
Adam didn't answer him. He looked at the bedraggled carcass that was dirty from having been flung across the ground. It looked pitiful and was not an appetizing sight at all. Then Adam gazed out at the bleak gray skies and sighed.
“I saw something when I was out hunting today,” Adam said, putting the animal to one side, suddenly losing his appetite. Peter waited for him to elaborate.
“There was a campsite, and at first I was scared because I thought I would be in danger. But then I saw him. A man had hanged himself. He just was dangling there. I didn't know him, don't know anything about him. Don't know why he did it, or if he had anyone else with him, if he had lost anyone else. It just struck me that for him the end of the world meant the end of his life, but it's not like that for us. Peter, we're still alive. Can you believe that? Can you actually realize that the world has ended and we still are alive? We're so lucky.”
Peter nodded.
“And we need to keep living, not just for our sake, but for everyone else. We need to show people that it's possible to make it through this world and to stand up to people like them. I mean, think about it...we've been out here for weeks now. We've built a shelter, we've hunted for food, we've been able to collect water...we've made it, Peter. We've actually made it. Sometimes it's easy to forget that in day-to-day life, but we haven't given up yet...I just don't know what we're going to do in the future. We can't really stay living like this. I'm tired of living on these small animals. I'd love to have a proper meal...or as proper as you can get in this world.”
“Maybe e should go back to the city,” Peter said. Adam breathed in long and hard. It was a thought that had been playing on his mind as well. Yet, everything in his body had been telling him to move away from the city, that the best thing to do was to isolate themselves from the threat of people.
As if reading his mind, the next thing Peter said was rather astute. “If people are going to find us out here anyway, we might as well go back. At least we have a better chance of getting food, and we don't have to be out in the rain so much. We might be able to find some new clothes as well. All these are getting kinda damp.”
Once again Adam was impressed by how Peter cut to the heart of the matter. It was true. It seemed as though people were going to find them anywhere they went. So, they might as well return to the city. He didn't want to end up like the hanged man either, left alone in the forest to be found by a stranger. The longer they stayed out here, the more danger they would be in, and Adam didn't want to be forgotten. With that their decision was made, but once again Adam hoped it was the right one. There was so much uncertainty in the world now and every decision had a hefty weight to it, for everything was a matter of life and death.
Chapter Fourteen
The night was long and cold. Adam didn't get a lot of sleep. There was much on his mind. He tossed and turned as he thought about returning to Opal City, trying to imagine the state of it now. When he and Peter had left it still had been in the early stages of the end of the world. People were confused and lashing out. Buildings still were smoldering from the wreckage of crashed planes. Everyone was panicking and looking for salvation. People stayed behind closed doors, waiting for it to blow over, waiting for some kind of rescue, but none came.
Would they have stayed behind closed doors, or would they be like other people in the early stages of the apocalypse, people who ventured out onto the streets, swarming through the city to get to a safe place? Would the city be in ruins, destroyed by people fighting with each other? Would it be deserted; people having fled to other places, other cities in the hope that those areas had not been affected? Indeed, Adam even considered the possibility that people from other cities were making their way to Opal City for the same reason. There was another possibility as well, and it was the most depressing. The rescue had come and everyone in Opal City was safe and sound.
If Adam's fear had forced them to live like this unnecessarily, he would have felt so ashamed. It would have been his fault that Peter had to live like this, in squalor, when the man clearly needed to be in a place of comfort. Adam felt bad that he had caused Peter to live like this, but in a way, he was also glad he had come across Peter. Although Peter was a grown man, he had found it difficult to adapt to this world. Adam doubted he would have been able to cope on his own, especially when there were so many people out there looking to take advantage of him. But Adam was grateful for another reason as well, he had been about to end his own life when Peter had coughed.
Up to that moment Adam still didn't know if he actually would have gone through with it, but he was ashamed the thoughts had gone through his mind in the first place. He always had thought that people who had those kinds of feelings were weak. Although that in part was a reaction to his own teenage years, when he had seen life as a mixture of hopelessness and despair. Yet, in this world, in some way, it seemed like a perfectly natural reaction. Of course people were going to kill themselves in the face of such doom. What other natural reaction was there?
From a certain point of view Adam and Peter were the fools for trying to make it through the world in the face of such adversity. Yet, Adam had to remember the inspiring messages from his heroes, that the human spirit could face and overcome any challenges. His own spirit was not as strong as that, though. All his life he had been plagued with anxieties and insecurities, and doubts about himself. He had to be strong, though, because this life wasn't for the weak. Through the night he wrestled with the prospect of returning to Opal City. It was so easy to pretend they could make it work in the forest, but he knew Peter was right, and that they would have to go back.
Either prospect was daunting, the mere thought of walking through those streets again, fearing what could be around any corner, knowing that at any point someone could run up and stab them. There were no rules anymore, but it was the price Adam would have to pay for shelter and food. Perhaps they could find a good group of people as well, ones who wouldn't have been driven crazy by the apocalypse, ones who actually could help him and Peter and give them a chance to live again...some people like those he had worked with. It had been a while since he had properly thought about them, and he wondered if they had made it through. It was strange to think they could have died. He had spent so much time with those people. They were the closest thing he had to family, and yet they all were gone, out of his life.
Did they think about him? He liked to think he mattered, and it was a horrible thing to think that if he died he had made no real impact upon the world. He had thought that designing games would have afforded him a sense of immortality, but even if somehow the world’s technology was resurrected and able to function, he doubted anyone would be able to find his games, and his name would be lost into the ether. Faced with that possibility it was a difficult thing to understand what truly mattered in life. He always had believed there was some greater purpose to his existence, and it seemed a forlorn thing if everything was just so inconsequential. But all that mattered at that moment was making it through the day, making it so that he and Peter could live and live well, not just eke out a meager existence. Yet, to do that they had to return to Opal City.
Peter stirred and Adam noticed. He was glad he had someone to talk to.
“I can't sleep. I hate nights like these. I used to get them a lot, just can't take my mind off things. I was thinking about what I'd be doing if this all hadn't happened. I was working on something that was going to change the world you know.”
“What was it?” Peter asked.
“It was a virtual reality device, but one that was more advanced than anything else on the market. You could have used it to create any world you wanted, absolutely anything. You could talk to anyone from history, or explore alien worlds, or live in your favorite shows and movies, even bring books to life. Or you could just create your own paradise. It was going to be wonderful. Hell, if there was ever a need for it,
it's now, but it's not possible. All that hard work was for nothing...what would you have been doing?”
“Probably sleeping. I don't know. I liked my life. I never did anything grand. This is actually a big change for me. I had my routine and every day was the same. I knew exactly where I was going, and what I was doing, and when I was going to eat, and what I was going to eat, and what shows I was going to watch, and when I was going to go to bed.”
“Do you like the change?”
“It's...it's different. It reminds me of when I was married. Every day with her was an adventure. I feel a bit young again.”
Adam was struck by how he and Peter were looking at the end of the world differently. For Peter it was a grand adventure and there were new things to discover, while Adam was living in fear and each day brought with it new perils. Adam focused on everything he had lost, but Peter already had lost enough, so he was looking at what he had gained. In that moment he saw that he should look at life more through Peter's eyes than his own, and look at the opportunities this new world presented to him. Returning to the city wouldn't guarantee danger. In fact, they could carve out a life for themselves and try to build something more, something that wouldn't be possible in the forest by themselves.
The following morning they rose, stomachs grumbling, and picked up their things. Adam leaned against the shelter.
“This has served us well,” he remarked.
“Should we take it down?” Peter asked.
Adam was about to say yes, but then a smile appeared on his face. “You know what? I think we should keep it up. Maybe a weary traveler will come by and need a rest. It's nice to think we've given something back to the world. We have to remember that we're all in this together. I know when we first came to the forest we would have loved to find something already built. But look, when we walk back to the city we're going to have to be careful. We only have a spear and a knife, and I'm not the best person in a fight anyway. So, we don't want to be getting into any trouble. If I see something that's dangerous, you just follow my lead and we'll be alright.”
“Yes, sir,” Peter said, giving Adam a salute, and then they made their way back to the city.
Peter carried the bags they first had brought with them, and Adam slung the backpack over his shoulder, the same one he had found at the hanged man's campsite. In one hand he held the spear and the knife was sheathed against the small of his back. He had managed to drive off the two men who had wanted to attack Peter, but Adam wanted to avoid conflict where possible, especially against larger groups. It was a strange feeling to be leaving the forest after spending so many weeks there. It had offered freedom, but Adam hadn't really found it, and his first major decision of the post-apocalyptic world had not worked out the way he thought it would. He almost felt like a failure for having to return to the city, but it was the right decision. All he had to do was push his ego aside. While they walked along they picked a few nuts and berries they found to fill their bellies somewhat, and they amused themselves by talking about the food they hoped to find back in the city.
All the while, however, Adam was afraid of what they would find in the city. The unknown frightened him. He peered into the distance, trying to glean as much information as he could as they moved along, but everything was quiet and grim. The forest thinned out as they made their way back along the path they had traveled from Opal City, coming to the vantage point overlooking the highway. This is where they had seen a large group arguing, but now the highway was empty. He wondered what had happened to that group. Had they returned to Opal City or ventured out to pastures anew? Either way, the only things on the highway now were abandoned cars, left with their doors hanging open, useless as anything now.
This time they made their way down to the road and walked, getting back into the heart of the city rather than the suburbs. They wanted to get where there were more stores and a likelier supply of food. All the cars were such a sorry sight. They perfectly captured what had happened to the world. Cars had been an everyday piece of technology, something that people thought they couldn't live without. So much time and money were spent maintaining them, and now they served no purpose. All they did was take up room and that was that. They never would be used again, and only the parts could be salvaged, although Adam didn't know for what since he never had been good with mechanical things. Great swathes of refuse also were skittering about along the road. The smell reached their noses and made them gag. They had to try holding their breath to avoid smelling the dank, retching odors.
Old clothes, tattered and torn, drifted by as well. All signs of what people had gone through. Signs that society had crumbled and fallen and that nothing ever was going to be the same again. He pitied the people who had gone through all of this, and for the first time Adam was starting to see past his own fear. It wasn’t fair to the world to insulate himself against everything because there were people out there who needed help as well, help he could offer. Fear was a prison, but it wasn't going to keep him safe, it only was going to cause more harm than good in the end. He steeled himself against the feelings that were swimming in the pit of his stomach and continued. He was determined to make good on his promise to Peter that they would find some way to make something of substance out of their lives.
Just outside of the city Adam saw something that made him stop. It was a corpse. The skin was sallow and starting to fall apart, bone peeking through the flesh. Insects and flies buzzed about, crawling over the skin, devouring everything that had made this man who he was. The clothes were faded and nondescript. The expression on the face lifeless and hollow. The eyes were lolled back, and the body was draped over the ground, limbs askew. The stench was wretched, even worse than the refuse, and the gnawing sense that this could have been either of them made a sense of dread rise within.
Adam had coded many dead people in the games he designed, but he already had seen too many. First the man who had hanged himself, now this. He had no idea how this person died; whether it was a suicide or a murder, and he wasn't about to hang around to do an autopsy. The city loomed before him, hiding many secrets within its shadows. The cold winter breeze wrapped around them. Adam folded his arms across his chest and tried to ignore the weight of the backpack on his back. He looked up at the ominous gray clouds and knew that rain would be coming soon.
“We'd better keep moving,” he said grimly, taking one last look at the dead body, hoping he wouldn't have to lay his eyes on anything such as that again.
Death always had been something he tried to shy away from and keep at an arm's length, but it was a part of the new world and there was going to be no escaping it. Death was all around them. People died. Society died. The world as he knew it had died, and the only thing Adam could do was try to not let his name get added to the ever-growing list. He turned his back on the dead man, leaving the flies to their meal. He and Peter said nothing to each other because there was nothing they could say. They just carried on in silence toward the city as the first drops of rain began falling upon their skin.
Chapter Fifteen
Where they were standing was a sign welcoming people to Opal City, giving information about the current population. Adam stared at it and thought it was rather grim. The population would have dwindled dramatically, and there was no telling exactly how many people were still alive. They stepped into the city limits and were once again in the city they called home, but it no longer felt like a sanctuary. The ambiance had changed.
Opal City had prided itself on being a place where everyone felt welcome no matter your creed, appearance, or sexuality, which had been a radical change over the years. In the past Opal City had been a festering pit of crime with a heavy mob influence. Only in the last couple of decades had the authorities managed to make great strides in cleaning up Opal City and making it a safe place for everyone. Adam never had felt worried for his own safety. There still had been dodgier parts of the city that it was best to avoid, but in his own little bubble he felt perfectly sa
fe and content, but no longer.
The rain poured down and pattered against the pavement. Adam and Peter were used to it by now, and they walked, bedraggled figures, getting soaked to the bone. The water dripped down and ran along Adam's hand, trickling from the point of the spear. His shoes splashed as the water formed puddles on the uneven sidewalk. Occasionally shelter was provided by the building awnings, but these were only intermittent. Both men knew the rain was likely to continue for a while, so it was no use stopping and trying to wait it out.
Adam had managed to bind his shoe together with an old plastic bag he found, but the hole in it still was troublesome. It was causing his foot to squelch against the water, making him feel even more discomfort than he otherwise would. It felt as though the weather was just another cruel trick on him. It was as though it wasn't enough that the world had ended, but rain had to come down as well and soak them. Peter didn't seem as bothered by it, and was jumping in puddles like a child, with a gleeful smile on his face. Adam couldn't help but smile as well. It was nice that someone could find joy in a world like this.
The rain was so thick they couldn't see too far in front of them, but they could make out the outlines of skyscrapers and other buildings; the landscape of the city. Adam always felt it looked beautiful, a wonder made by man, constructed with metal and concrete and glass all coming together in harmony. Some felt it was an eyesore, but to Adam it was a testament to human ingenuity and determination. Things were getting bigger and better, and a thought struck him that perhaps humans had advanced too much. Perhaps there was some code in the universe that activated once humans had reached a certain level to put a ceiling on their advancements to keep them in check. It's something he often had to do as a game designer as he had to limit the players, even in an open world simulation. He found himself looking up at the heavens, blinking through the rain, wondering if there was a great coder up there.