Once Again

by Amy Durham

  “Carter devised a plan to get rid of Leo, as well as cover up his conspiracy with Katherine,” Lillian said. “He killed her, brutally, and left her by the creek near our home where he knew we would find her. Then he told the townspeople that Leo was the murderer. Made them believe he’d killed her in a rage.”

  “They came for me that night,” Leo continued. “I knew they would. The menfolk were livid and seeking justice. I knew they would not listen to me. I tried to leave in time to escape. Lillian and I were to meet at the sea and run away. But Carter anticipated what we’d planned, and when Lillian came to the beach to find me, it was too late.”

  The fear and sorrow I felt at the memory of what had happened on the beach was mirrored in Lillian’s eyes. My heart ached for her, because unlike me, she hadn’t been able to wake up and realize it had all been a dream.

  “Carter and his men found me,” Lillian said, her expression full of sorrow. “I’d collapsed in the sand, caring not what might happen to me. I was hardly even aware of being carried away. I’m sure I lost consciousness, because the next memory I have was of being inside a strange house. Carter was there, prattling on about how everything would be fine now that I was with him. He said I didn’t have to be afraid of Leo anymore and that he would take care of me. I believe he’d actually deluded himself into believing the lies he spewed.”

  “But you got away from him at some point, didn’t you?” I asked, remembering the awful scene where she’d died alone in a shack.

  Lillian nodded. “I’m not certain how many days passed while I was inside Carter’s house, but I refused to speak or interact. He left food and water for me, and continued to talk incessantly about how my state of mind would improve once I purged myself of memories of Leo. There were times I was afraid he would force himself upon me, but thankfully he did not.”

  Luke’s hand tightened around mine. “I’m really glad to know that,” he said.

  “I realized I was with child, though it wasn’t visible to Carter yet. I knew I had to get away, that the only hope my child had was if I could escape from Carter’s evil. The next time he left to go to the water pump, I fled through the back door. I knew it would take him several minutes to retrieve the water, so I crept quietly for a moment, putting distance between the cabin and myself. Then I ran. I hid in the woods that night, frightened and alone, but so thankful to be away from him. I had no idea where I was, what direction I was moving, but eventually, I came upon a deserted shack. There was a stream close by, and a farmhouse and barn within an easy walk. I knew I shouldn’t steal, but I had no choice. I took what I needed from the barn in order to build a fire. Occasionally I would take an egg or two from the chicken coop. I managed to keep myself fed well enough for a while.”

  Tears formed in my eyes and I did not try to stop them. I knew what came next.

  “The baby came early,” Lillian continued. Leo’s expression hardened, the sadness for all that had happened etched on his forever-young face. “I was young and had no idea about childbirth, but I knew something was wrong. It was as if someone set fire to my womb.”

  I remembered exactly. I’d felt the fire in my own body the night I’d watched her die.

  “He killed us all,” Leo said. “Me, Lillian, and our child. And for what? He did not succeed in keeping Lillian for himself, and once we were gone he failed at everything he put his hand to. His farm, a mercantile, eventually a marriage. All of them ended badly. He ended up on the wrong side of a fight with a drunken man one summer night and died as a result.”

  Knowing that Leo and Lillian had watched Carter reap what he’d sown gave me some satisfaction. In no way was it punishment enough, but at least he hadn’t gone on to live happily ever after.

  “Don’t let him separate you,” Lillian said. “If the two of you can weather this storm, our deaths will not have been in vain.”

  “How?” Luke and I asked in unison.

  “He must remember,” Lillian said. “He must know he cannot succeed. Think you your acts will bring you joy. But hate and malice you employ. For the things you want you’ll always yearn. Until the day you finally learn.”

  Sad smiles crossed their faces an instant before their bodies turned translucent. Though the visual connection faded, I could still feel the strength of our bond in my heart. Part of me wished we could keep them here.

  In the next moment, my eyes fluttered open, my head still against Luke’s shoulder. I felt him shift, his hand brushing my hair with light strokes. The sun sat high in the sky, indicating that Sunday afternoon was still young. I wondered how long we’d been asleep.

  Lucas pressed a light kiss against my lips as we sat up. “Now we have the whole story. Details and all.”

  I nodded. “What happened to them was so horrible. It makes Vaseline on my windshield look like nothing.”

  “Whatever happens, we stay together,” he said. “If he can’t succeed in splitting us up, maybe the cycle will be broken.”

  And wasn’t that just the way I wanted to keep Lucas in my life? Out of some kind of obligation to our past-selves? It was almost worse than thinking his feelings for me weren’t real, but rather just “left-overs”.

  But he was right. Whoever was targeting us couldn’t succeed. It was time to put an end to the madness that had taken over Leo and Lillian’s life.

  CHAPTER 41

  The next week rolled by without incident.

  Luke and I stayed together – or in contact – the majority of the time. We’d even resorted to texting each other between every class. The only time we went any length of time without talking or texting was during cross-country practice.

  Tolstoy proved to be a harder test than Frost, but Luke and I both felt pretty confident about the test we’d taken yesterday.

  On Friday afternoon, I hung around in the parking lot after school, waiting to see Lucas and the rest of the runners off as they ran their last practice round before the state meet tomorrow. Typical of Friday afternoons with no home football game to look forward to, several crowds of kids loitered, making their plans for the night.

  Jessie stood next to me, leaned against my car, the brisk November wind breezing around us. Mr. Hartley had scheduled a chemistry test for Monday of all days, so Jessie and I were studying this afternoon.

  After all, tomorrow was the state cross-country meet and I would be driving back up to Belfast to cheer Luke and the other guys on. There would be no studying tomorrow.

  We watched the runners take off from behind the school locker room, setting out on their practice course.

  Luke looked back toward my car, waving when he saw Jessie and me. I gave him a big thumbs up and a smile.

  “He looks really happy,” Jessie said.

  I smiled, and knew without looking at my reflection that it was a really huge, stupid grin.

  “But if we’re going to get finished studying in time for you to see your man after he runs,” Jessie continued, with a friendly shoulder bump, “we better get started.”

  With a laugh, we got in our cars and headed to my house for an afternoon of chemistry punishment.

  ***

  My cell phone buzzed just as Jessie was backing out of my driveway. I waved goodbye to her as I reached in my pocket.

  Smiling, I flipped the phone open to read a text message from Lucas.

  Meet me on the beach.

  U know the spot.

  Surprise!

  Strange, but okay. We hadn’t made a point of avoiding the beach, and the memories we’d made there hadn’t all been bad. I figured it would be a shame to let such a beautiful spot become a place we avoided.

  I went in the house long enough to grab my coat and backpack, and tell my mom where I was headed, then hopped behind the wheel and took off.

  ***

  I arrived before Lucas, and walked toward the outcropping. I felt connected to him here, tied to him by what had happened in the past and what we had experienced in the present. Leo’s death. Lillian’s abduction. Our
first kiss. The communication we’d experienced here with Leo and Lillian. And despite all that had been done to us in this place, the beauty of it still drew me in, and I longed for our good memories to outweigh the bad.

  Closing my eyes and breathing the salty sea air, I imagined the potential happier moments Lucas and I could create here.

  In my hand, my phone vibrated. Expecting Lucas, I answered without looking at the screen.

  “Hello.”

  It was Jessie. “Ohmigosh, did you hear?”

  “Hear what?” The alarm in her voice worried me.

  “Something happened to Kara.”

  My stomach dropped. “What?”

  “I’m not sure.” She took a deep breath and went on. “I went back to school to get my history notes out of the locker, and everyone was talking about it. Someone found Kara down by the creek, near where the cross-country people were running. She’d been beaten up. Someone said she might’ve also been drugged.”

  Everything in me trembled. My knees threatened to crumble beneath me.

  I didn’t have to wonder what came next.

  “Layla,” Jessie continued. “Corey and Will came back to school to get their stuff from the locker room, and they told me that the police are talking to Lucas.”

  Even knowing it ahead of time didn’t take the sting out of hearing it.

  “No,” I whispered, more to myself than to Jessie. “No, no, no, no.”

  “He couldn’t have done it,” Jessie assured me. “No way would Lucas do anything like that. I’m sure it’s just a misunderstanding.”

  I ordered myself to think. If Luke was being questioned by the police, how did he manage to send me a text fifteen minutes ago?

  And then Jessie’s words fell into place.

  Luke didn’t send me that text.

  “I have to go, Jessie.” I dug frantically in my coat pocket for my keys, hoping I wasn’t too late. “I have to get there.”

  I didn’t wait for her to respond before I flipped my phone shut.

  I turned around, prepared to sprint back up the beach to my car, and nearly plowed him over.

  “Corey.”

  CHAPTER 42

  Dear Lord. It was Corey.

  “I figured you’d heard about Lucas by now,” he said, his eyes so empty I barely recognized him.

  I nodded, thinking that the best chance I had to get out of here was to pretend I had no idea he was behind it.

  “Jessie just called,” I said, forcing a smile. “It was nice of you to come find me, though. I should hurry and get back to town.”

  I started to step away, but he stepped, too, and blocked my way. My head still reeled from the knowledge that Corey was behind all of this. Luke’s best friend had been the one to betray him and set him up.

  Fate, destiny, or whatever you want to call her, it was a cruel, nasty bitch.

  “I don’t think you’re going to be able to help him.” He touched my face and bile rose up and burned my throat.

  “Maybe not,” I shrugged. “But I could at least be there.”

  He narrowed his eyes. And the words started falling, swirling in my mind, senseless and random.

  Focus, I ordered myself. If this didn’t end today, the next attack would be on Lucas. I could not let that happen.

  I had to let his thoughts in, had to see what was going on in his mind. Maybe, just maybe, it would give me an advantage.

  Always, always trying to protect him.

  Once I let them start, the words came, unfiltered

  Never once looking anywhere but him. You’ll look at me, though. It won’t be long now, my love. You belong to me. No matter what I have to do. I won’t lose, not this time. Even if I have to kill him.

  His face hardened, and Corey seemed a million miles away. As if his body was now occupied by Carter Johnston.

  Could it be? Was Corey Jacobs really locked away somewhere inside. Had Carter taken him over completely?

  And did it even matter?

  I decided to take a chance.

  “Carter?”

  His eyes darted toward me, fixing on my face. “Lillian.”

  Fear coursed through me with a force that matched the waves crashing on the shore, and I trembled violently inside. I said nothing as he stepped toward me.

  “I knew you would see the truth,” he said. His voice no longer resembled Corey’s. “After all these years, you see it. I am the one for you.”

  I shook my head. “Carter, you know this doesn’t end well. It never will.”

  His thoughts jumbled, melded into a confusing mix of past and present, as he fought the memories that would prove I was telling the truth. He shook his head, forcing his mind back to the delusion that he’d lived in so long. The delusion that allowed him to believe the two of us belonged together.

  “As soon as he’s gone, everything will be fine. We’ll be happy.” He grabbed my hand, hard enough to be uncomfortable, and pulled me along the shore, away from the outcropping.

  The wind off the ocean lifted my hair off my neck, blowing it wildly around my face, bits of the cold slipping between my sweater and the skin on my neck.

  All around me, inside me, chaos swirled, from the wind, to the fear, and to Carter’s delusions.

  I must get her away from here, far enough away that she forgets.

  As his thoughts scrolled across my consciousness, I sensed his confusion, his frustration. Lillian hadn’t fought him before. With Leo already dead, she’d had no fight left. But now, having known the truth about the past, my resistance threw a wrench in his plans.

  I pulled against his hold, digging my feet in the wet sand, making him turn to face me. “Carter, Lillian didn’t go with you because she wanted to. You killed her will to live when you killed Leo. And later, she ran away from you because she hated you and everything you’d done.”

  “No! No!” His grip on my arm tightened, enough that I knew there would be a bruise, and the confusion in his eyes morphed into anger.

  The surf pounded harder as the wind whipped with more force. I had to shout to be heard above it. “Lillian didn’t love you, and neither do I!”

  For a moment, I thought he would hit me. His face iced with a fury far colder than the November air.

  The sadness that came next scared me even more.

  Then it must be death.

  He changed directions, and instead of pulling me along beside the water, he waded in, forcing me to trail behind him.

  The frigid water soaked through my socks and the bottom of my jeans. Fear masked what was surely an almost burning cold against my feet.

  I realized then that he meant to kill us both. That if I couldn’t love him, he wouldn’t allow me to love Lucas. Hot anger surged through me, canceling the cold that would’ve otherwise taken my breath. And I let the anger explode, unleashing it at him.

  “Stop it Corey! Or Carter, or whoever the hell you are!” Screaming, I jerked my arm out of his grasp. Rage burned inside me. Never had I felt such loathing. “You killed Leo and it accomplished nothing! Lillian didn’t love you. She never would’ve loved you. You might as well have killed her with your own hands.”

  He lunged for me again and I jumped to the side, stumbling in the surf but successfully dodging him. His thoughts streamed in so fast I couldn’t comprehend them, nor did I want to. I knew he was incensed by the look on his face and I did not care. If he thought he was pissed off now, he hadn’t seen anything yet.

  “You may think you own me,” I yelled. “You may think you own this place. You may think you’re entitled to have whatever you want. Bullshit! This is my life, Carter Johnston or Corey Jacobs or whatever name you want to go by. This place, this time, it’s mine and Luke’s. This time you don’t get to win, because we won’t let you!”

  His eyes darted back and forth, the expression shifting from hatred to sadness with each movement. I was no psychiatrist, but I could tell that Corey and Carter were battling for control.

  Then he was still. His eye
s lifted to mine, empty and malicious, and I knew that Corey had lost.

  And then, in a last ditch effort, I repeated the words Lillian had spoken. “Think you your acts will bring you joy. But hate and malice you employ. For the things you want you’ll always yearn. Until the day you finally learn.”

  His eyes lit with flames of hatred.

  “You belong to me,” he uttered, in a voice that was not Corey’s.

  CHAPTER 43

  Pain sliced through my skull as he grabbed me by the hair, wrenching my head against his chest until his arm came around me in a headlock. I struggled, flailing wildly while he pulled me further into the water. The freezing water crept up to my chest, my clothes pulled against me like quicksand.

  Something caught my eye. A blur, as if something was moving far up the beach toward the parking area. If someone was there, all I needed was a distraction, a split second to get out of his hold and run screaming toward the movement.

  With strength I did not think I possessed, I jabbed my elbow hard into his ribs. When he jerked from the impact, I swung upward, my fist connecting with what I hoped was his nose.

  Take that you sorry piece of shit.

  Stunned, his grip around my neck loosened and I sprung away from him, just in time see him knocked back toward the sand by Lucas, moving faster than any human should be able to.

  Then it clicked. The blur I’d seen. Luke’s gifting.

  Corey stood up, dripping wet from having landed in the shallow water, only to be launched into the air again when Luke’s fist slammed into his chin.

  “Layla!” Luke shouted, running back toward me.

  He threw his arms around me, hugging me tight and lifting me out of the water at the same time.

  Back on the sand, I saw a bewildered Corey lying on the ground, not offering to fight back or run away. Did he really have no idea what had just happened?

  Luke sat me back on my feet, but didn’t let go. His eyes searched my face, frantic, as his arms tightened around me again.

  I answered his unspoken question. “I’m not hurt.”