Save Me

by Waitrovich, H. M.

  “Ok Mags, I promise, you will be the second person to know”, I looked down at my Belle who had quietly come into the living room and was sitting on the floor watching cartoons,” I said. “Make that the third person,” I said looking back to Maggie grinning.

  Once Maggie had left I was straightening up the house and looking around in the kitchen for what to make for dinner, I loved making us dinners and sitting at our table together while the three of us ate together, it makes my night every single night. I was poking through the fridge looking for the garlic when a wave of uncontrollable nausea hit me…I ran to the bathroom and just barely made it without puking all over my bathroom floor. I was trying not to get too excited because maybe, just maybe I was throwing up from the excitement or stress of trying to conceive.

  I sat myself up right on the bathroom floor feeling its cool touch, I was feeling better. I looked at the vanity doors and opened them…there sitting next to my hair dryer was a box of ovulation tests and a box of pregnancy tests that Oli had bought for me last week. He was getting a head of himself with the pregnancy tests but I would be kidding myself if I said I was not either. I reached for the box on the left, the pregnancy tests and opened them up.

  Ok it says it only takes 3 minutes but it took about 30 seconds to show up negative last month. It is really a bummer, but maybe if I just took one out of the 3 in here it wouldn’t be a big deal, that way if it is negative at least I know that maybe it was too early and I will still have three more for a few days from now if my period doesn’t arrive.

  I reached into the box pulling one of the tests out, I quickly tore open the wrapper and used one of the tests, I know I said I would wait for Oliver but I just cannot wait and this way I won’t have to see his disappointment if it is negative. Once I was finished I sat the test on the counter and did up my pants, I swear I walked away for like 5 minutes afraid to see the outcome of my fears.

  I slowly walked back over to the counter, closed my eyes, and took one huge breath; when I looked down to open them I almost fell over with shock! There on that tiny little stick with my pee on it were two very pink lines! They were bright as can be and the most beautiful pink lines I had ever seen. I squealed with delight and jumped up and down, which then caused my stomach to get upset again, but just smiled and quietly walked over to the toilet, I will gladly take this to have my dream come true. We were going to be complete as a family and nothing could take away my joy at this moment.

  CHAPTER 8

  I made Oli and me a very romantic dinner, knowing he would come home late and well after Belle was in bed; it was his favorite, steak and lobster. I wanted only the best for the man of my dreams because he has given Belle and me so many things that I never dreamed I could have wanted nor deserved. I heard his car pull up and I checked my reflection in the hallway mirror, I had gotten a new dress a few weeks ago and I haven’t worn it yet, it was black with little light blue polka dots on them and very form fitting, it was cut way above my knees and my cleavage was busting out of the top. I curled my hair and pinned it back to tame it slightly, I made sure my makeup was soft the way he liked it and I had on my new red lipstick. I felt pretty, which is what Oli makes me feel every single day.

  “Hey baby,” he said as he walked into the house. “Hey honey, how was your day?” I asked with a wink.

  “It was long, but better now that I am home. What is all of this,” he said as he walked into the kitchen. “I just wanted to make something special for you, and I made your favorite,” I said.

  He looked down at the steak and lobster on the table and grinned from ear to ear, “I do not deserve you at all, but I am the luckiest son of a bitch on the planet.” He grinned my favorite grin again. I threw the dishtowel at him, “Oli, don’t say stuff like that, I wanted to make your favorite dinner, what is the big deal?” I said.

  He sauntered over to me and planted a big wet I have missed you so much kind of kiss on my lips. “What, what was that for?” I said winded. “For driving me crazy in this dress, if I wasn’t so incredibly hungry from missing lunch today I would bend you over this table right here and make love to you until you screamed my name,” he said with a grin.

  “Jesus Oli, you sure do know how to make a girl blush, I would love to do that, but first let’s eat, I wouldn’t want you to waste away from not eating all day,” I giggled.

  We ate rather quickly, or Oliver ate quickly, I think he had a certain agenda he wanted to get to and I was not going to stop him, I just wanted to make sure that I told him our big news before we made love. “So Oli, there is something I actually wanted to tell you, something that I am dying to tell you,” I said with so much excitement.

  His face fell slightly, was he worried about my news. “You opened the envelope? Grace I’m so sorry, I should have told you the second I found out, but it was only yesterday and I was on call and I just didn’t know how to process any of it,” he said.

  “Wait, what? I am not sure I am following you Oli, I did not open the envelope,” I said confused. His eyes got wide and he looked like he was going to be sick. “Oliver James, tell me what you are talking about right now,” I demanded.

  “Grace, I am so sorry. Can you please open the envelope now? It explains everything; I honestly thought that is what you were going to tell me. Please I know you are scared of it, but it is time to open it,” he said.

  I was fuming right now, how could he keep something from me about the envelope and how in the hell would he even know what is in it. “Oliver I do not want to open it, I am so sick of everyone telling me to,” I shouted.

  “Grace, please I promise you it is not going to be something you expected, it wasn’t what I expected but it is time to face it,” Oliver said.

  I was mad as hell at him for making me do this but I stormed down the hall, shut the bedroom, and locked it. So much for my exciting news for our family. I looked over at the nightstand and at the envelope carefully sitting there where it has for weeks, taunting me and making me crazy and everyone around me.

  What could possibly be so bad about it? I walked over to it and picked up the stupid thing and before I knew it, I was tearing open the seams and what I saw and read next was something I never would have expected…

  CHAPTER 9

  I reached into the envelope and opened it up, folded inside the letter was a check for 8 million dollars, I almost fell over. However, it was what was written in the letter that was something I will forget.

  Grace,

  I can never begin to express how sorry I am for what my son has done to you and Annabelle. I have spent many years trying to figure out what I could have done wrong to him to make him behave the way he did. As a mother, we try to give our children the world and I guess even then that is not always enough. I want you to know that I never knew about you or Annabelle, I did not even know about Max’s first wife Grace until before he disappeared. I will never really forgive him for keeping his family from me. I will forever be haunted by thoughts of what could have been, how maybe if I would have told Max he was adopted from day one he would not have been so filled with rage, or maybe just maybe if his father had tried to spend more time with him it would have made a difference. I cannot make myself crazy on the what if’s but just know that I wish with all of my heart that things could have been different. I recently reached out to Max’s birth mother, I wanted to know her and I wanted her to know what happened. I was very surprised when I found her to say the least. I showed up at her store and was surprised to find her not alone; she was there with a younger man who was dressed in a police’s uniform. When I told her who I was I introduced myself as Sheila Peterson, Max Peterson’s mother, which she seemed to know, but it was what I told her next that she did not know. She was very shocked and incredibly upset. I told her how sorry I was that I failed to protect her son from what he was. Grace what I am about to tell you is going to be hard…I did not know how hard until I found out who this woman really was. Her name was Gloria Sullivan and the man wi
th her that day was your husband Oliver. He was helping her unload some boxes. Please do not be angry with them Grace, it is not their fault that I confronted them, I asked them to wait to tell you until you read the letter. I know how hard all of this sounds believe me. I hope that someday you can open your heart and forgive me or anyone who has harmed you in anyway. I know that I have not hurt you but I feel a sense of responsibility for what pain my son has caused you. I also hope that someday you can find it in your hear to let me meet Annabelle. I would love nothing more than to be in your lives but I will understand if that is not something that you can handle. I hope that you can move on with your life for your family’s sake and I again I am so very sorry.

  -Sheila Peterson

  I literally dropped the letter onto the ground and felt tears streaming down my face, how could they know about this and not tell me? How could Oliver keep this from me? How could Gloria be Max’s biological mother? I reached for the handle of the door to open it and I heard Oliver’s voice behind the door.

  “Grace, baby I am so sorry, we had just found out before the trial and with everything going on I couldn’t tell you not like that. I am so sorry; I will do anything to make this right. Please tell me how I can fix it?” he begged.

  “Oli I am so angry, why and how could you keep something like this from me? I do not deserve this. I am so completely full of rage right now. I had planned to tell you something so important tonight and now, it does not even matter. Please just leave me be, I want to be alone, and I think it is best if you let me sleep alone tonight,” I said.

  I heard him breathing heavily and then I heard him walk down the hall. I went into the bathroom and turned on the shower, I needed to feel the hot water on my skin, maybe to numb all of the pain I was feeling now.

  Once I had spent what felt like forever in the shower I got out, put on my favorite t-shirt and shorts, and fell into bed. I cried for hours until the grief, exhaustion took over, and I fell asleep, a deep sleep that I did not know if I ever wanted to wake up from.

  4 days later

  I had been stewing in my bed for four days now, I never left and Oliver only came in to shower and change and bring me food, which I was not really eating. He sighed as he would come in and bring me more trays of food picking up the uneaten food he had left the last time. The truth is I was not hungry at all and the only thing I did was sleep, cry and vomit. All I wanted to do was sleep nonstop.

  I heard a knock at the door and I was not about to get up and answer it, I knew Oliver was home and he could get it. I rolled over to face the wall and closed my eyes again. I was tired. Very tired and all I wanted to do was go back to sleep.

  I heard my bedroom door open and someone walk in, ugh, he was just in here bugging me and I wanted to be left alone. “Really Grace? How long have you been in here looking like a big pile of shit?” Maggie shouted.

  Great Maggie, she was always here when you least wanted her to be. “What do you want Maggie?” I asked coldly.

  “What do I want? Hmm let’s see, I want you to get up out of your bed and shower because it smells like a complete coward in here,” she snapped.

  Most things that Maggie said never made sense to me but nonetheless I knew what she meant this time. “I do not want to get out of bed Maggie. Therefore, you are wasting your time. Ok,” I said sternly.

  “NO, Grace it is not ok, Oli is a mess and by the looks of you I would say you are not doing too hot yourself darling so why don’t you get up out of bed and stop feeling sorry for yourself,” she said. She had a point but I was still too angry, “Maggie you do not know what this is like, Gloria saved Belle and I and I owe her so much, but now how can I ever face her again knowing what I know now? It would be too hard and I just do not think I can do it,” I said quietly.

  “Oh Gracie, sweetie people go on from things, every single day and they do not always like it but you have to move on. How do you think it made Gloria feel to know someone she cares about so deeply was hurt so badly by her son? A son she never really got to know or watch grow up and become a man, he wasn’t much of a man granted but he was her son and he hurt someone so close to her,” Maggie said.

  I felt my eyes swelling up with tears again. Maggie was right as usual. It made me angry how right she always was. “Oh Mags, I am so sorry, I am just so tired and so emotional lately. I feel so badly, about how I have acted. Do you think Oli will ever forgive me?” I asked.

  “Oh please that man worships the ground you walk upon. Of course, he probably forgave you a minute after you locked yourself in here. Just let this go and move on from it,” she said.

  Again, she was right, Oliver never stayed mad at me like I did him, and that is not fair to him, he deserves more than how I have acted these past few days.

  “Thanks for coming over here and once again knocking some sense into my crazy ass. I don’t know what I would do without you Mags, and I have something that I really want to tell you but I have to tell Oli first,” I said. She smiled at me and said. “Its ok I already know,” she said. Then she walked out of the room. Of course, she already knew.

  I hurried up and jumped into the shower to clean myself up a bit for my husband. I wanted to look good for him but I know that does not matter because he loved me no matter what.

  I walked down the hall to find him and Belle sitting on the floor in the living room playing with her dolls and she looked so happy. It always made me fall deeper in love with Oliver when I saw how he is with Belle. I stood there for a minute while I took it all in. I really have a lot to be thankful for and I am so mad at myself for getting so angry.

  Oliver finally looked up from where he was sitting and smiled at me, I motioned for him to follow me down the hall. He got up and told Belle he would be right back. I went back into to the bedroom and he was not far behind me.“Oli, I am so sorry, I am so ashamed of how I have behaved. I never wanted to shut you out. I just did not know how to process all of this. I felt like two people I trusted most had betrayed me and I know that is not what happened. I guess I just wanted to be angry with someone. Can you ever forgive me,” I asked.

  He did not say anything he just lunged for me and kissed me so passionately that it was one for the books. “Whoa, does that mean I am forgiven?” I teased. “Baby you were always forgiven, I was never angry with you and I understand why you were angry. I never expected that you would take so long to read the letter and I was wrong for not telling you,” he confessed.

  “I understand why you didn’t and know that you are always trying to protect me, for that I love you even more.” He smiled and kissed me again, I knew that I could not wait much longer to tell him about the pregnancy and it had to be now.

  “Oli, I was trying to tell you something that night when I made us that dinner and it was very important,” I said. He grinned at me and said. “Grace, baby you know you can tell me anything, what is it?” Oli said. I took a deep breath, whelp it is now or never.

  “Oli I’m pregnant, were going to have a baby!” He smiled the biggest smile I have ever seen and reached for me. “Grace I am so happy, you have no idea how happy you make me. I cannot wait for this baby to be born, he or she will be so loved and so spoiled, and they will have the best parents and big sister there is,” he said with so much promise in his eyes.

  He bent down again to kiss me passionately; it always astounds me. Feeling his hands on my body releases a heat between my legs that I cannot control and sends shivers up and down my legs and arms. “Grace, I have to have you right now, but we do not have much time since Belle is right down the hall, so this is going to be hard and fast, ok baby?” I grinned in excitement, “Hmm just the way I like it!” I said excited.

  He reached his hands down to grab my hands and grabbed them both in his one hand and reached them up over my head, he then pulled my pants down with his free hand and began kissing down to my neck. It felt so good. “Oli, I need you so bad, please make love to me now. Please I have to have you inside of me. I am begging you
to be inside of me,” I begged.

  He had me undressed in what felt like seconds and pushed me down onto the bed; he quickly undressed himself and was hovering over me with hungry eyes. “I have missed you baby, I need this so much, you are so beautiful and your breasts are so full now, I love it so much ” he said panting.

  Just that fast he was inside of me, and began a fast and hard rhythm that would finish me very quickly if he kept it up. I had been longing for this punishingly pleasurable rhythm.

  “Oli I cannot hold on much longer, it feels so amazing,” I said trying to catch my breath. He thrusted harder and harder until I exploded into a toe numbing orgasm that could set off the car alarms all over the town. He finished right away too calling out my name in the process. Then he pulled out of me and laid down beside me. Bringing my hand up to his mouth, he placed a gentle kiss on my knuckles.

  “Grace I love you so much, I will always protect you. I know you know that but I just wanted to say it again. I know how hurt and angry you are but I think you owe it Gloria to talk to her about everything,” he said. I took a deep breath and knew that he was right.

  EPILOGUE

  I have come to a point in my life where I am so happy with how things have turned out, it has taken longer than I would have like to get me to where I want to be but I am there and it feels amazing. Oliver and I have spent the last few months building our dream home that we just recently moved into, it was because of the check I received that I am able to even have a home like this for us, but Oliver and Maggie’s parents have given them some land and we decided to put it to good use. It was modeled after an old farmhouse that I noticed in town that I was in love with. It had four bedrooms, which was big enough for the five of us. Yes you heard me right…the five of us, when I was into my second month of pregnancy we went for our first ultrasound and found out that we were having twins, and last month we found out it was twin girls. Oliver was on cloud 9 and we were so happy.