A Shadow's Tale

by Jennifer Hanlon

  ‘Now ah’ve gotcha, ya little bitch! Yer no’ ge’in’ away again!’

  Panic gripped my heart in its ice cold talons. Fear numbed my mind. Then the burning started. The power surge. Oh goddess, the power surge! My hands dug into the blood-drenched ground. My heart beat so fast. The fire built within every fibre of me until it spiked in my head. A wave of black magic erupted from deep within me, knocking back my attacker and everyone around me. Darkness overtook my mind and I fell back onto the gore splattered ground.

  The first thing I noticed was the smell. The smell of blood and death and burnt flesh. It almost choked me in its intensity. I could barely breathe. I opened my eyes. I saw the empty, glazed eyes of a dead man in front of me. With a shriek, I sat up. Pain lanced through my leg, still staked to the ground by the sword. Somewhere not far off, I heard the moans of a wounded soldier trying to get to his feet, the sobs of pain of the other wounded, wails of grief for the dead. Tears began to drip down my face as I stared at the violet sky. What had I done? I slumped back to the ground. My muscles protested against the sudden movement, but I ignored them. How many had I killed? With one wave of magic, how many had I killed? Maybe I was just like my father. Maybe I was just as the Senate thought, evil to the very core of my being. A ruthless and cold-blooded killer. Not fit to live. Maybe a demon’s only use was for destruction. Somewhere far above my head, something screeched. I took no notice. Something thudded to the ground. I did not turn to look.

  ‘Little one,’ crooned a soft voice. Still, I did not acknowledge the presence of anyone else. Merlas lay next to me, harrumphing softly. ‘Oh, my little one…’ She murmured in deepest sorrow before shielding me from the world in a cocoon of black feathers.

  I don’t know how long I lay on the battlefield before I heard a flurry of robes. Light flooded my eyes as Merlas lifted her wings to allow Armen to crouch next to me, his arm in a strip of cloth that bound the limb to the opposite shoulder, stained by a little blood. I took no notice of his arrival, all but dead to the world as he softly called my name. His fingers touched my neck, seeking the pulse point. I pulled back my lip to snarl, baring a fang, a growl grating in my throat. Merlas nickered a warning. He quickly pulled back his hand.

  ‘Shadow?’ he asked in concern. I said nothing still, nor did I move. ‘By the goddess, Shadow, please answer me!’

  ‘There is nothing that needs to be said,’ I answered dully.

  ‘Oh, thank the merciful goddess. I feared I had lost you.’ He moved to examine the sword keeping me pinned to the ground like a piece of paper to a desk. ‘This will hurt, Shadow, brace yourself.’

  I did not moan or gasp as he wrenched the sword from the earth and my flesh. Instead, my claws dug deep furrows into the ground. I got to my feet, only betraying my pain through my narrowed eyes. Hauling herself to her hooves, Merlas took a long look at me through one dark, critical eye. I stood, hunched over, swaying slightly under the weight of the metal plates, favouring my injured leg. She snorted slightly, muttering something to herself about silly two-leggeds and their silly battles, grabbing the back of the leather shirt I wore in her teeth. Lifting her head as high as possible, she deposited me onto her back. Out of habit, I wound my hands into her mane, my head still bowed low. Armen laid a hand on Merlas’s neck and, slowly, we began the long walk back to the Senate Towers.

  * * *

  Another year passed with no great haste. With great caution, I came out of the stupor the battle had caused, coaxed softly by both Armen and Merlas. Arias had said nothing about it, although Armen had been excused from the greater part of his Senator duties in order to become my sole tutor. He taught me to control my magic directly from the scriptures left by the previously extinct part demons. He taught me strength by having me clear new fields of boulders, carrying them with only my magic over miles. He taught me restraint by having me weave cloth with magic or dam a small stream. He taught me focus with puzzles and control with impossible tasks. For every day that I worked with determination, Armen took me to fly with Merlas. Sometimes to study, he took me to a great hall filled with books called a ‘library’, and left me to browse on my own, to choose my own reading. I even started to learn more languages, recommended by Armen for reasons he refused to tell me. I was, however, forbidden to use magic except in Armen’s presence.

  As I was confined to my room for the duration of time that I did not spend with Armen, I read for hours on end. It was at one such time that I first heard the voice in my head. The scriptures had warned me about such things, about the voice of the demonic parent trying to trigger a switch of control from the ‘normal’ side to the demonic. Part demons were, effectively, two people in one. As such, I simply ignored the voice. I focused my eyes on the book I was reading, allowing its words to blot out the demon’s. Something somewhere in my mind flipped. Pain shot through my limbs. I fell from my chair, desperately trying to work out what had happened. Thankfully, it ended quickly. I lay panting on the ground, something crashed into the window. Merlas! Never before had I been so glad of leaving a window open at all times. Unable to fit her broad shoulders through the window frame, she stretched her head out towards me. I yelped as she grabbed the back of my neck in her teeth before pushing off again.

  Merlas flew up to the mountains, to a clearing with a small stream. Standing close to the edge of the water, she dropped her head a little to look at her reflection. Hanging from the doe’s mouth, barely visible against her black coat was a black wolf cub. I looked down at my hand only to see a paw. I yelped out loud. I was a wolf! How did that happen? Merlas dropped me onto the grass of the clearing, looking at me expectantly. Realising I wasn’t changing back, she huffed, rustled her wings and wandered off, obviously affronted. I tried to follow her, but realised that four legs were more complicated to operate than two. I ended up in a heap of legs and paws with another yelp. Merlas turned back to look at me. I looked back at her with what must have been a most pitiful expression. Sighing heavily, she wandered back over. Lifting me up to stand on my four paws again. She placed herself next to me and lifted a front hoof. When I didn’t react, she pawed at the air. I lifted the same paw. We put our legs down a little way in front. Merlas lifted a hind leg. I copied her.

  She taught me to walk in a matter of minutes, running not long after that, working by copying her movements. When we were tired out from chasing each other around the clearing, we drank from the stream before lying down comfortably in the shade of the branches of an overhanging willow. I set about trying to change back. Exploring the recesses of my mind, I searched for the trigger. It took me a while, but I managed to find it. This time, the pain of the transformation wasn’t as great, although it still left me breathless, shaking and disorientated. My senses of smell and hearing seemed to be extra sensitive. I could smell everything from the grass to an antlered rabbit half way further down the mountain to us and hear the beating of Merlas’s heart as if it were a drum. Merlas nuzzled my hair, drawing me closer to her side and tucking me under a wing.

  For three days, Merlas taught me everything about surviving on my own: hunting, gathering, finding shelter. I could have stayed forever on that mountain with Merlas, just living, surviving, with no worries about my cursed half-blood status. No Senators, no Arias, nothing to prevent me from doing what I wanted to do when I wanted to do it. I could practise with my magic unsupervised without fear of being found and punished. True freedom after years of forced restraint. It felt glorious. Until we were found.

  We were hiding under the dense branches of the willow tree. I had been practising changing myself from Synari to wolf. It was getting easier and easier with each transformation, less painful, less tiring. It had become just like flexing a muscle. It was still a little strange feeling at times, often taking me a few seconds to remember exactly how many legs I had and whether or not I had a tail. I rested against Merlas’s warm belly, my eyes half shut as I dozed contentedly. Her head shot up, ears pricked. She had heard something. Even thought my demonic si
de gave me a more acute sense of hearing than the Synari, Merlas’s was more sensitive than mine. I strained my ears to listen. I could hear something. I struggled to distinguish it. A voice. No, two voices, a little further down the mountain and getting closer.

  ‘Why are we hunting this half-blood? I thought that the Senate would have been pleased to be rid of it.’

  ‘The High Priestess fears it turning rogue. By keeping it in the Senate Towers, they could control what it learned. She fears what Senator Armen has already taught her.’

  ‘Is it really that dangerous?’

  ‘Imagine two beings combined into one with more power than the High Priestess.’

  ‘Ah. And the doe?’

  ‘The High Priestess is less bothered about her. Merlas does not pose the threat of being able to destroy the city if she is angered.’

  I glanced at Merlas. If Arias was angry with me, I didn’t want to go back. It didn’t bode well at all. In fact going back while she was angry was the last thing I wanted to do. Especially since she would know I had been using magic.

  We waited until Merlas could no longer hear their voices before trying to sneak out in the other direction. Merlas walked quickly but quietly with me perched on her back. For the few days we had been living together, she had helped me gain confidence in riding her without a saddle so that I could now balance, kneeling on her back without a problem. I wound my hands into her mane, still acutely aware of just how high up I was.

  ‘There it is!’

  I barely had time to register the cry before Merlas pitched forwards, going from a walk to a full gallop. I hung on grimly, trying to block out the sound of hooves chasing us as Merlas dodged through the trees. As we reached another clearing, she took off with a sudden absence of movement I don’t think I will ever get used to. Her wings began beating with a determined tempo, desperate to put some distance between us and the City Guard. I dared glance back. They were too close for comfort. One launched a bolt of magic, then several. Merlas managed to dodge most of them, but it slowed her down. They pulled up alongside us. I screamed as one grabbed hold of me, pulling me from Merlas’s back. I kicked and struggled, trying to bite my captor. Merlas brayed in alarm and fury. She rammed the pegasus. A loop of rope landed around her neck, the end held by the other guard. His pegasus dived, losing height rapidly, dragging Merlas down. She shrieked in fury. I cried out to her, reaching for her even as she fell. The guard holding me snapped at me to be silent as his mount’s wings swept through the air, carrying us back towards the city.

  To say that Arias was furious would be one of the worst understatements of my short life. To begin with, she would not even speak to me. When she eventually started talking, a torrent of anger poured forth. I felt so small and insignificant in the gigantic chamber from where Arias ruled, a tiny black speck in the bright light, where the figures carved into the pillars of white stone glared down me, as if I was a mote of dust in an obsessively tidy person’s home.

  ‘We let you live, Shadow, gave you everything you needed, healed your wounds and kept you safe. You repaid us by disobeying the rules put in place to keep you safe and then you ran away!’

  ‘I was scared!’ I protested weakly. ‘I was alone and didn’t know what to do!’

  ‘That does not justify your actions. You have been trained to control your emotions. But that matters no longer. I wash my hands of you.’ Dread mounted in my heart, freezing my breath. I waited to hear what she was going to do to me. She glared at me, her nails clicking against the arm of her throne as she thought of a suitable punishment.

  ‘You will go to Aspheri, to the realm of your father. He may do with you as he pleases.’

  A curious sensation engulfed me, not unlike that of jumping into a cold river. My surroundings disintegrated in a heartbeat before I had time to say anything.

  * * *

  It was hot, far hotter than Synairn. Demons of various sizes and shapes surrounded me. They spoke in a harsh, guttural language that was so different to the soft, lyrical Synari that it took me a moment to realise that I could understand them. And they were mainly discussing how best to kill me. I summoned magic into my hands, hoping to be able to fight my way out of the ring of demons that surrounded me. They parted like a knife parts soft butter, but not because of me or my magic. Two silver haired boys stood there. Identical in every way, they looked to be a couple of years older than me. One raised a hand, beckoning to me. I nervously followed. Now that the immediate danger was gone, I took in my surroundings. A scarlet sun stained the sky with crimson light. The ground had been baked and burned until it was black and cracking. Crude stone dwellings turned the dirt into haphazard streets. On a slight incline was the only vaguely civilized looking building. A palace made of some sort of black stone. The twins leading me were odd in their own right, with long shaggy silver hair and silver eyes with skin pale enough to rival mine. I observed them with curiosity, wondering who they were and why everyone was scared of them. They didn’t look all that scary to me. Arias and Karthragan were more terrifying in my mind.

  There was a rising feeling of dread the closer I got to the temple. Something in my blood recognised it. My magic hummed happily through my body, revelling in the heat. Inside the temple, the corridors were made with the same black stone as the outside, although torches lined the walls, casting flickering shadows, and gleaming red on the twins’ silver hair. We passed several more demons, although they all shrank away at the sight of the two boys. I wondered who they were to be so feared. I kept close to the twins, afraid of this strange place, of the demons looking at me as if I was the next thing on the menu.

  The further we went into the temple, the more I felt as if I was in a maze. The twins navigated easily, knowing exactly where they were going. I followed like a foal follows its mother, unable to do anything else. I was lost in this place. All the corridors looked the same! We eventually reached our final destination. The chamber was huge, as big as the Senate Chambers back home. Here, the black walls glittered in the torchlight and there, sitting on a throne carved of black wood, was Karthragan.

  He looked nothing like the wolf in the demon book. He looked almost Synari, almost normal. Pale skin with black hair that fell over his brow, obscuring one pair of his eyes, the tips of horns protruding from the mass. Not how I imagined a demon to look. But I knew him. I could sense him. A dark presence the exact copy of the one in the back of my mind. He looked down at me, a girl in black lost against the black floor. In the blink of an eye, I found myself pinned to the wall, his hand around my throat, up more close and personal than I ever wanted him to be ever again. His four red eyes gleamed under black hair, narrowed as he sniffed at me.

  ‘Wolf,’ he growled. I struggled against his grasp. I couldn’t focus enough to use magic and he was so much stronger than I was! He raised a finger, a finger tipped with a fearsome claw. With one quick swipe, he carved a deep gash around my right eye, from my eyebrow to my cheekbone. I screamed. The pain gave me the focus I needed. In a single blast, I managed to send him flying half way across the room. I fell to the ground but scrambled back up to my feet. Clamping a corner of my cloak to the wound, I glanced around, looking for a place to run and hide. From somewhere outside the chamber, chaos erupted, voices yelling about the prince being bested by a girl, about the girl being marked as his, about a winged horse. Merlas! They had to be talking about Merlas! Demons didn’t breed pegusi and she would be the only one who would come and find me!

  A furious bundle of fur, feathers and teeth burst into the room, her ears back, her long canine teeth stained black with demon blood. Merlas roared in fury, rearing up onto her hind legs, pawing at the air with her sharp hooves. Karthragan ducked, escaping her attack. Merlas’s teeth snagged the back of my cloak, tossing my easily onto her back. Through the haze of blood in my eyes, I saw Karthragan jump forwards with a sword. Merlas bellowed a warning as she leapt into the air, delivering a strong kick to his chest as she took off. Once more, I felt the sensation
of jumping into cold water as Merlas crossed dimensions in mid flight.

  Merlas landed in the courtyard outside the war pegusi block, barely pausing before she trotted towards her stable. I clung to her mane with one hand, the other holding the edge of my cloak over the wound, tears and blood streaming down my face, my magic sparking in the air around me. Merlas folded her limbs beneath her, lying on the feathery ground of her stable. I slipped off her back, sobbing still, to rest against her side. She nickered gently, folding a wing around me as she nosed my hand away from the cut. Dust started to settle on the exposed flesh, irritating the wound. I scratched at it desperately, ignoring the pain as my claws tore into my skin. Pushing my hands away, Merlas set about licking the deep gash clean, taking care to be as comforting as possible. I relaxed into her touch. The touch of a mother to her child. Each gentle rasp of her tongue helped me to calm myself, to stop shaking. The sound of feet running down the aisle jolted us both from the moment of tenderness. Merlas quickly covered me with a wing, hiding me from sight. Armen appeared, breathless and wild-eyed

  ‘Did you find her?’ he asked Merlas. The doe cautiously lifted the wing. He breathed a sigh of relief. Reaching out a hand, he helped me to my feet, supporting me in his arms. I hugged him tightly, unwilling to let go. Armen held me, murmuring reassuring words to me. ‘Come, Shadow, we’ll keep you out of sight with your mother until we can send you to another dimension to hide.’