Broken

by Lola Lois Raphael

  Charles was fiddling with his phone, expecting a phone call, her phone call and it has been two weeks she left and she had not even attempted to call him just once. He was still staring at the phone's screen when Ada snatched it away from him and threw it to the floor. He sat up and gave her a frozen look. ''What is the meaning of that?''

  ''When I am talking to you I deserve an answer, you don't get to ignore me.'' She was so angry at him, angry at herself that she care so much that he is pushing her away and it hurts, terribly.

  ''I am not in the mood to talk to you Ada, I am sure you can sense that so why don't you just go to your room and leave me alone.'' He said icily as he got up and picked up his phone.

  Ada started crying. ''It has come to that right? It is obvious you don't want me around anymore and I was a fool for thinking anything productive can come out of our relationship but you are pushing me away Charles, something you have never done, not even once and all of a sudden you don't want to have anything to do with me anymore. I should have listened to Bisi and Genevieve and not stupidly hope that someday you and I will become more than friends.'' There she has said it. It is left for him to give a reply. She is holding out her heart to him in a gold platter.

  Charles was dumbfounded that he just stared at her, blinking rapidly as he processed her words. ''We are just friends Ada, you and I have been for years. Whatever has made you think that I have any intention of turning our friendship into something more?'' Had he in any instance led her on to believe that he is love with her, that he wants her to be more than his friend? He couldn't remember any such instance but what made her think he wants more from her?

  Oh, so he was trying to play dumb? ''All these years I have waited for you, trying not to be too forward, hoping you will see me, all of me but what do I get in return? Nothing, I got nothing in return. You are so concerned about your brother's life that you forget to live yours. I moved in with you because I thought if I do that you will soon realize your true feelings for me but what have become of that?'' She swiped at the annoying tears.

  Charles hung his head and sat down on his bed. He had not been expecting this, heck he wouldn't expect this in a million years. ''I never told you I wanted to date you Ada, if I wanted to I would have said so.'' He would have said so right?

  ''You are not the type to express your feelings and I know how difficult it is for you to do so, so I thought it is the same way with how you handled Lara's issue.'' She said quietly. This is so embarrassing but she had started it and she have to finish it, they have to. He would either declare his feelings towards her or reject her feelings.

  The exact thing that got him in this mess with Henrie, if only he had expressed himself to her sooner before letting Richard steal her away from under his nose. ''I am in love with someone else. I never suspected you have any feelings for me?'' what if he had? ''I am sorry Ada, but I love someone else.''

  Ada shot up from the bed. ''You don't get to love someone else, what about me? How could you keep me around when you're in love with someone else?'' She screamed and grabbed a pillow from the bed, throwing it at him. She grabbed another and threw it. ''I have refused every single guy because of you, hoping that one day we will finally be together and now you are telling me it is impossible, that I have wasted all those years on you?'' She lowered herself to the ground and buried her face in her hands.

  This is difficult. Why the hysterics? Here he is tearing up inside that Henrie is refusing him and here is the girl he had known almost all his life tearing herself up because he doesn't reciprocate her love? Life really does sucks. ''I am sorry,'' that was the only thing he could form from his lip.

  Everything, every year, every turned down date because of him had been in vain, he doesn't even think of her that way. How could she be so stupid? Those years ago she had been privilege to go to the same Secondary School as him because she had been living with her rich Uncle who had been sponsoring her education and she had made sure they ended up in the same Higher Institution just because she wanted to be with him even though it had not registered to her then that she was in love in with him. She could have gone to Onitsha after graduating from the University but she had stayed in Ilorin, all because of him and he had the guts to tell her he is in love with someone else. Wait, but Charles doesn't have a girlfriend that she knows of recently. He had dated when they were in the University and she knew his girlfriends just as he knew her boyfriends but after she realizes that she is in love with him she had stopped dating any guy and he had also stopped dating. Who is the lady he claimed to be in love with?

  She looked up at him through tear stained face. ''Who is she?''

  He hadn't expected her to ask him that, a man should get to have his privacy. ''That is not necessary,'' he doesn't know how to tell her who he was in love with. What would she think of him if she knew he had been in love with his brother's girlfriend of three years for the same three years?

  ''I want to know, I deserve that much.'' Her chin was jutted out and she half glared at him.

  ''What if it is someone you don't know?" Does she really have to know? He started fidgeting on the bed.

  ''I need a name Charles, at least I deserve to know the name of the woman who made me waste so many years on you.'' She said frostily.

  There is no way he can keep the name to himself now, she really does deserves to know and if he had not been such a coward he would never have lost Henrie to his brother. ''It's Henrie,'' he confessed without looking up.

  ''Henrie? Your brother's girlfriend? Are you crazy?''

  Chapter Thirteen

  ''Ex-girlfriend,'' he clarified. ''they broke up already.'' She is no longer his brother's girl so she is not untouchable for him anymore.

  ''As far as I am concerned she still is your brother's girlfriend. What were you thinking to do something so mundane? I hope you do realize it is simply not done, it is not appropriate, nobody does that.'' Ada fired up rapidly. She would have never guessed in a million years that he could be in love with Henrie. She knew he cares about her but she attributed that to the fact that he was feeling pity for her because of how Richard treats her, not that he could actually be in love with her. ''I am finding this so hard to believe.''

  Charles then decided to tell her the truth about that night those years back, the first night he saw her and the night he lost her to his brother. ''A few minutes that last night is what it takes to lose her to Richard, I haven't stopped loving her and I don't want to stop.'' She should be able to read the determination in his eyes and in his words. Nothing anyone could say would let him let her slip away from him. Hasn't she slipped away already? She is in another State and he is here willing his phone to ring every hour of every day but no such luck yet. There is still hope, he will hope that someday she would come to accept him, the real him.

  ''How come I didn't know anything about this? So that is why Ade avoids coming here like the plague so she wouldn't recognize him.'' Her two best friends had been hiding things from her for so many years. ''How could you do this to me Charles? Why does it have to be her of all people?'' she screamed, not caring if anyone heard them or not. ''You intentionally wasted my time knowing you would never get into a relationship with me but keeping me around nonetheless and I was stupid and blind not to realize how you felt about her. How could you do this to me?'' She just couldn't believe this is happening, how could he be in love with Henrie?

  He didn't do anything and how was he to know she had any sort of feelings for him? If he wants to be more than friends he would have said so, why is she making everything his fault? You just can't go about with the misguided belief that because you have a male as a best friend therefore you two are perfect for each other and he wasn't her only male friend. Why is she not in love with Ade? ''I understand how you are feeling and I have already apologized for whatever it is you want me to apologize for but you can't just lay the blame on me, I never made any move towards you to suggest I might be thinking about getting romantically with yo
u. I'm sorry you wasted some years over me because you saw what is absent but what you believed to be true but I don't feel that way about you. I do love you and I would do anything for you but I don't love you the way you want me to love you Ada. I am so sorry for making you this way.'' He apologized sincerely, he had never suspected she might be harboring such deep feelings for him and he is sorry he broke her heart when that was not his intent.

  ''You do know where she is don't you?'' She brushed off his apology, her eyes staring up at his.

  He intentionally refused to answer her, what good would answering her bring? Her telling him she would never come back to accept him? He will hold on to his hope, her future with him. The door opened and he turned huge eyes to him, a small gasp escaping him as Richard stood at the doorway, his expression grim, his eyes smoldering in fury. ''How dare you Charles?'' His voice was so low that he wouldn't have heard him if he hadn't been concentrating on him. Considering the murderous look in his brother's eyes he knew he had been eavesdropping at the door and he heard everything he said to Ada. ''Richard, I never knew you were home.'' Wrong thing to say, yeah, definitely wrong.

  Richard was in the room and his hands fisted in his brother's shirt. ''How could you, how dare you?'' He thundered, gripping tight.

  Charles forced himself to be still, breathing calmly. ''I don't even know what you are accusing me of Richard, maybe if you were to repeat the question I apparently missed then maybe I can actually give you a reply.''

  Richard's fist plowed into his face, knocking his face to the side. ''You stole her away from me and now you are hiding her God knows where.'' He was shaking, so it had been Charles, all those time he had deliberately avoided her talk about the night she thought they met. He had knew she was waiting for someone else but he had been so drawn to her that he wanted her for himself and whatever he wants he gets. He had let her believe he was the one she was waiting for. ''Where is she? Where did you hide her?'' He roared. Charles has always been the golden child at least to his mother and he always gets what he wants without really having to ask and he had only wanted Henrie and gotten her, now Charles is after his Henrie, no, he would never let that happen. ''You are a fool if you think she would come to you, it is only a matter of time before I find her and she would accept me back because she loves me so stop your stupid infatuations about her, she is mine and I will never leave her for you. You can't have her the way Mum lets you have anything you want, not anymore.'' He shoved him to the bed and stormed out of the room.

  Oops, Charles stood up and shook his head. What could he say? He hasn't even let him speak and truthfully he wasn't about to explain himself to anyone. He fixed Ada a pointed glare. She should say her piece and get over it. She slapped him, once and then twice. ''I am moving out first thing tomorrow and don't even bother to try to contact me.''

  When he was left alone he just fell into bed, at least he doesn't have to hide about his feelings anymore and Richard had better stop dreaming of getting her back. He had let her slipped away from him before because of his cowardice but this time around he would hold on tight even if she hasn't contacted him yet.

  ***

  Henrie looked down at the phone in her hand and the paper in her other, she was still debating whether to call him or not and she found herself thinking about him more often than not and she just couldn't bring herself to do it. She folded the paper back and slipped it into a magazine on the floor. She would get back to it later.

  She slipped on her shoes and got out of the room and locked the door. She took the key with her as Folarin comes home late and always meets her at home, moreover she was just going for an interview and it's not as if she would start working today if she got picked for the job. She had applied for the post of an English Lecturer in one of the higher institutions and she had attended that one two days ago, today however she is applying for the post of a Personal Assistant in Publishing Company. One of the numerous advantages of graduating with a B.A. in English is that you can pretty much work anywhere. She dressed carefully in one of her Skirt suit and with minimal makeup she was on her way, all the while praying that she gets the job.

  Henrie finally heard her name being called two hours after she got here and she heaved a sigh of relief. She sat up and was glad to loosen her achy muscles. She went to the door and knocked once and then entered. The office was spacious, everything was painted in white. A big mahogany desk was in front of the Managing Director of the Company, a balding man with squinty eyes and she wondered briefly why the man wasn't using glasses. In front of the desk were two chairs and she sat in one after greeting the man with a warm smile, she slipped her r?sum? towards him and waited while he picked it up, perusing it with a thoughtful look. The next few minutes was spent with her answering questions and not asking any, she did her best to impress the man and as she left the room she prayed she would be getting a phone call soon to tell her she has been accepted for the position. She smiled and said goodbyes to the other applicants waiting to be interviewed. Just one vacant post and many applicants, she shook her head sadly as she walked away.

  ''Have you gotten any calls yet?'' Folarin asked her when they had settled down for the night. She turned on the bed so that she is facing her.

  Henrie shook her head miserably. ''None, and I have applied in six places.'' She had gotten offered a job in the first Company she applied to in Ilorin but she had stupidly readily quit it because?old news but she still feels bad anytime she remembers what she has lost.

  Folarin heaved a sigh. ''I am sure something will come up, it took me a year after my Youth Service to get a job.'' She is working in a Construction Company and she hopes they keep her for a long time. She could see a promising future in it and she intends to keep her Bosses happy by her efficiency. She had been so happy when she had been the one chosen to represent the Company in Ilorin even though she started working with them three years ago. That gesture had mean so much to her and she intends to do her best for the Company.

  ''I am still hopeful,'' her voice sounded unconvincing even to herself. She couldn't sleep that night and as she listened to Folarin's even breathing her mind wandered back to him again and she gently slipped out of bed so as not to disturb her and picked up the magazine. She copied the number to her phone, waited several heartbeats before dialing it and putting it to her ear. It rang, once, twice, the third time and a sleepy voice picked up. ''Hello,'' she shut her eyes and waited, not saying anything as her heartbeat accelerates. ''Henrie is that you?'' she could hear him but she couldn't bring herself to answer so she disconnected the call and switched off her phone. It has been fifteen days since she left.

  ***

  She called. Charles knew it was her even though she had not said a word, but he knew and immediately she disconnected the call he tried calling her back but her phone was switched off and he had immediately saved her number. When he got home that night Ada true to her word had moved out. He felt bad but he knew it was probably for the better and now that he had thought about it he realized insisting she moves in with him when he did not have any ulterior motive towards her was not a smart move. She must have thought he felt something for her but was unsure about how deep those feelings run and she had accepted, hoping one day he would acknowledged them but he couldn't concede to them because he hadn't feel that way for her. It was partially his fault and he would give her a few days to cool off and then he would call her and apologize again. Richard wasn't talking to him and he wasn't talking to him either, better that way or they would be at each other's throat. By the weekend he would move out as well, the only reason he had stuck around was because of her and now that she is not here anymore there is nothing keeping him here anymore. He knew it would be almost impossible to fix the strain in his and his brother's relationship but he wasn't ready to let Henrie go and so was Richard, he would do anything to get her back, he remembered the lyrics to ''Let Her Go'' by ''Passenger''

  Only need the light when it's burning low

  Only
miss the sun when it starts to snow

  Only know you love her when you let go

  Only know you've been high when you're feeling low

  Only hate the road when you're missing home

  Only know you love her when you let her go

  And you let her go

  Richard was miserable and he knew he was hurting because of her but he had not treated her right and he is just realizing that, he would have felt sympathy for him but he just couldn't bring himself to do so because he had hurt her really bad that day, he had seen her injuries and he knew she was badly injured. Some guys take girls' love for granted and only when she leaves them will they realize that they can't do without that particular girl, so Passenger's chorus really does suit him. The poor guy have dark circles and he always look weary but he wasn't the one to comfort and he knew it's only a matter of time before their mother decides to come especially when she finds out that he is still brooding about his ex-girlfriend. At least he had withdrawn his report from the TV Station and Police Station about her missing, something he had nudged him into doing. Never in his life had Charles thought he and his brother could be at loggerheads because of a woman. There was a time they had been close and when the incident with Henrie happened he had refrained from doing anything about it because him pursuing his brother's girlfriend will be a horrible act although he had never stopped loving her he had kept himself in check by never letting himself give her or anyone else except Ade any indication about his true feelings about her.