A normal man, she thought wistfully. One who didn’t know a Glock from an M-16 and had never had to slit even a single throat in his life. A guy who watched sports on weekends and grumbled about taking out the trash. A man who called his mother every week and remembered birthdays and thought dinner and a movie was a pretty hot date.
Unlikely, she thought. She was sure such men existed, but they had no reason to be interested in her. Not if they knew the truth about her.
“How’s it going with Carter?” she asked.
Felicia smiled. “Good. Even if I’m scared I’m doing everything wrong and Gideon spends his time with one foot out the door. This isn’t anything he’d planned on.”
“No one expects a kid to show up. Women have an advantage with that one. We always know if we have offspring.”
“You have brothers,” Felicia said. “What did they like to do?”
“Get in trouble. How old is Carter?”
“Thirteen.”
Consuelo shrugged. “I’m not the person to ask about this. By the time they were thirteen, each of my brothers had already been arrested.”
They’d taken the easy path—joining a gang. She wanted to blame them, but knew she hadn’t had to make their choices. As a girl, she’d been able to avoid a lot of trouble. Her interest in getting out of their urban neighborhood had been concealed behind study and reading. Sure, the neighbor kids had thought she was weird, but because she was female, they’d left her alone. Her brothers had been forced to make a choice early. Join a gang or spend every day getting harassed. Sometimes worse. Sometimes kids who didn’t fit in got dead.
“Has he made any friends?” she asked.
“He’s been up at the summer camp for the past three days. They assigned him a buddy. Reese Hendrix. His grandmother was the one with the booth.”
“I remember,” Consuelo said. Reese’s father had been the handsome man with the kind eyes.
Felicia sipped her water. “Are you still thinking about offering a self-defense class for people in town? What if you had a class for kids his age? I’m sure it would be popular, and then he could meet his fellow students before the school year begins. That would help a lot. I know how difficult it is not to fit in.”
Consuelo groaned. “That’s a lot of guilt in only a couple of sentences.”
“Did I make you feel guilty?” Felicia asked, sounding delighted. “I wasn’t trying.”
“That makes it worse. You were stating the truth as you know it. Come on. Let’s go look.”
They walked out of the break room and into the largest office. There were several desks pushed together, along with a big dry erase calendar on the wall.
“Yes,” she said, crossing to it. “We’re doing this the old-fashioned way.”
Felicia winced as she stared at it. “Why isn’t this on the computer? There are several excellent scheduling programs that could—”
“Spare me,” Consuelo told her. “I don’t do office and I don’t want to hear about it. If you find this painful, talk to the boss.”
She pointed to the column with her name. “I’m free on Tuesday evenings. Let’s schedule it then. Get the word out and let me know when to be here. I’ll teach them all how to kill each other.”
Felicia wrinkled her nose. “That was humor, wasn’t it? You wouldn’t actually teach thirteen-year-olds how to kill each other.”
“Only if they get on my nerves.”
* * *
CARTER SAT AT the picnic table, his lunch unwrapped in front of him. Reese Hendrix was across from him. They’d already exchanged sandwiches and discussed getting ice cream when they were back in Fool’s Gold.
“Have you always lived here?” Carter asked his new friend.
“Nah. We moved here a couple of years ago. After my mom split, my dad wanted to be closer to family. Mostly for me, I think. I have a bunch of aunts and an uncle.” He grinned. “Two uncles, now that Ford’s home.”
“Your mom left?”
Reese nodded, then took a bite of his sandwich. “One day she was gone. My dad was pretty broken up about it. He didn’t date or anything for a long time. He was waiting for her to come back.”
Carter had also grown up without a parent, but he’d never expected his father to return.
“You don’t see her on weekends and stuff?”
Reese put down his sandwich. “Never. She doesn’t remember my birthday or anything. My dad tries to say she still loves me, but I know the truth. She bailed and it’s done.”
“I’m sorry.”
Reese shrugged. “Whatever. I’m over it.”
Carter thought his friend was probably lying, but wasn’t going to call him on it.
“I didn’t know who my dad was for a long time,” he said. “When my mom got sick, she gave me his name so I could find him if something happened to her. She’d made arrangements for me to live with some friends, but they weren’t adopting me.” He thought about how they’d divorced and he’d been put into the foster system.
“You found him by yourself?” Reese asked. “Wicked.”
“It wasn’t that hard. With his name and knowing he was in the military, it was a pretty easy search.” He gave a halfhearted grin. “It was harder to find Fool’s Gold on a map.”
“Yeah, the town is pretty small, but it’s okay here. There’s lots to do and we can go out by ourselves. I’ve only seen your dad a couple of times at festivals and stuff. He seems cool.”
“He’s okay,” Carter said. “Felicia’s nice. She likes to take care of me.”
He was probably too old to allow much of that, but he liked her fussing. She worried he was eating enough and eating the right stuff. She’d done over his bedroom and the bathroom.
“She bought me this dinosaur trash can and toothbrush holder for the bathroom,” he said. “Little kid stuff. She said it was to make me laugh and we’d get something better later.”
Reese grinned. “Is it funny?”
“Yeah, it is.”
“You get along with your dad?”
“I don’t know. He’s busy a lot.” Avoiding being at home, Carter thought. He wasn’t sure what was Gideon’s deal. If he didn’t like all kids or just didn’t like Carter. Either way, it was uncomfortable.
“You gonna stay around?” Reese asked.
Carter nodded. The truth was, he didn’t have anywhere else to go. A thought that terrified him. But he was a guy, and he wasn’t allowed to tell anyone that. He probably shouldn’t even admit it to himself.
His friend handed him a chocolate chip cookie. “It could be worse,” he said with a sigh. “Your dad could be a math teacher. Let me tell you, that does not make homework time fun.”
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
PATIENCE LOOKED AT the rack of white dresses. “This is silly. I shouldn’t be here. I was married before.”
“Very few women are virgins when they marry,” Felicia said.
Patience stared at her. “Thank you for that interesting fact, but what does it have to do with anything?”
“I thought you were concerned about wearing white and how it represents innocence and virginity. Your previous marriage and, of course, your child would preclude anyone from assuming...”
Felicia stopped talking. Patience was staring at her as if she’d sprouted several heads like the mythical Hydra.
She mentally backtracked, searching for another reason why Patience would worry about buying a wedding gown. She was engaged, so it wasn’t that she didn’t expect to have a wedding in her future. She doubted there was a money issue. While Patience might not have a huge financial cushion, Justice had made large sums while working for his previous company. So it wasn’t financial.
“You’re thinking a second wedding should be smaller?” she guessed. “Not a big wedding gown event?”
Patience relaxed. “Exactly. I don’t know if I’m being silly.”
“It’s Justice’s first wedding,” Felicia pointed out. “Won’t the larger event make him feel sp
ecial?”
She glanced around, hoping to be rescued by someone. Anyone. Reassurance wasn’t her forte. But Isabel had run home to deal with a plumber, and there were no other staff on duty right now. Felicia had promised to explain that Isabel would be right back to any customers who might wander in.
Patience sighed. “You’re right. He’s talked about a big wedding, and I secretly want one. I guess I think I don’t deserve it.”
“Why not? You’re getting married to a wonderful man who loves you. I would think a celebration is called for.”
“Thank you. That was exactly what I needed to hear.” She pulled a dress off the rack and studied the lace. “I like this one. Maybe I should try it on.” She put the dress back, then turned to Felicia. “But watching me look at dresses isn’t why you wanted to talk to me, is it?”
Felicia shook her head. “I wanted to talk to you about Carter.”
“Gideon’s son? I haven’t met him yet, but Lillie says he’s really cute and all the girls have a crush on him. Lillie’s only ten, so she still thinks boys are a little bit weird. For which I’m grateful, by the way. I know the teen years will be here soon enough.” Patience motioned to the padded chairs by the mirror and took a seat. “What do you want to talk about?”
“I’m not sure,” Felicia admitted. “I’m staying with Gideon for a few weeks, to help Carter settle in.”
Staying in the master bedroom by herself, she thought. Despite her talk with Gideon, he had yet to join her in bed. When he got home from the radio station, he paced through the house. She’d see him walk through the bedroom a few times and knew he was barely sleeping at all.
“I want to make sure I’m doing everything right,” she said.
Patience laughed. “With Carter? That’s your question? How to do everything right?”
Felicia tried to ignore the laughter. “Yes.”
“Oh, honey, that’s not possible. No one gets it right all the time.”
“You do. Lillie is extremely well-adjusted. She’s happy and bright, with excellent socialization.”
“Thank you, but I can’t take too much credit. She’s a good kid and I’ve had my mother to help. Sometimes I get it right, and sometimes I screw up royally. We all do. In your case, you have a bigger challenge.”
Felicia understood that. “He’s not my child and neither of us know him. He’s out of his element. From his perspective, he has no support structure, no one he can trust. Although his mother’s been gone a year, I’m sure he’s missing her a lot. He feels alone and unloved.”
Patience blinked at her. “Okay, then. You’re clear on his problems. What do you think of Carter personally?”
Felicia thought about the teen. “I like him. He’s very resourceful and fun. From what I can tell, he has an excellent character and he’s intelligent.” She smiled. “He’s much more socially normal than I am.” She paused. “We hugged. I found the moment meaningful.”
“I’m sure he did, too. However tall he is and socially capable, he’s still a kid who’s all alone. I would say, be on his side and let him know it. Be consistent. Knowing and understanding the rules will help him settle in. You want to have fun together, but also give him some space. This has to be overwhelming.”
All things Felicia could do. It was the emotional connection that had her worried.
“How’s Gideon holding up?” Patience asked quietly.
“This is hard for him. He’s avoiding Carter.” And me, she thought, but she wasn’t going to say that. “He had no idea he had a child, and to have Carter show up with no warning... It’s difficult. I worry that Carter will feel rejected.”
“Sure. That makes sense. You don’t want to push it, but try to get them to hang out together. Casual stuff where they’re in the same room.”
“Maybe a movie tonight.” Felicia thought about the possibilities. “One they’ll both like.”
“Or one they won’t,” Patience said with a grin. “Give them something to bond over. A reason to roll their eyes together.”
“Maybe an animated film,” she said, pleased with the idea. “There are several I’ve wanted to see.”
“That would work.”
“Thank you. You’re really good at this.”
“I have a little more practice,” Patience said. “That’s all.”
“Are you and Justice going to have children together?”
Patience flushed. “Wow. Always with the direct questions.”
“I’m sorry. Was that inappropriate?”
“No, just unexpected. To be honest, we haven’t talked about it very much, but I would like to have children with him. I never meant to only have one. Lillie has made it clear she would like a brother or sister. Or both.”
“Justice would worry that he has too much of his father in him to procreate. That he would pass along something bad. I believe in his case nurture is the more powerful influence. I could get you some articles, if you’d like them.”
“Maybe they would help,” Patience said, then smiled. “You’re always so nice to me.”
“I enjoy your company. You’ve been friendly and kind since I arrived, and Justice loves you.”
“Because you and Justice are close. I should probably admit I didn’t like you very much when you arrived in Fool’s Gold.”
Felicia felt her eyes widen. “Why?”
“You’re so beautiful,” Patience grumbled. “I mean, look at you. And then I found out you were really smart and you’d worked with Justice for years. I assumed you two had, well, you know.”
“Been sexually intimate?”
Patience made a strangled sound in her throat. “Right. You’re so good at reminding me to simply state the truth. Okay, yes. I was afraid you’d slept with him, and I could never measure up to all that perfection.”
“The success of sexual relationships between people who care about each other is much more mental than physical. While technique can make things interesting, the emotional connection is far more important.”
“I’m unmoved by your facts,” Patience said, her tone teasing.
“Because your feelings are irrational. I go crazy when I see a spider, so I know what you mean.” She leaned forward. “We never had sex. Justice and I are like family. We love each other—just not that way.”
Felicia told herself not to mention that she’d begged Justice to sleep with her four years ago. Explaining she’d wanted the experience and not a relationship wouldn’t make Patience feel any better. Besides which, Justice had refused and nothing had happened. She was learning some things were best left unsaid.
“Wow,” Patience said happily. “If you’re like his sister, that makes you my sister-in-law. I’m getting a bigger family and you are, too.”
Felicia stared at her as the truth of those words sank in. Belonging, she thought, stunned. It was really happening to her. Perhaps Patience would even ask her to be one of her bridesmaids. Felicia had never been in a wedding before.
“Are you okay?” Patience asked. “Was that the wrong thing to say?”
“No,” Felicia said, smiling and feeling the need to cry all at the same time. “It was exactly the right thing to say.”
* * *
“WE’RE GOING TO have movie night,” Felicia said, holding up the Blu-ray feature she’d purchased that afternoon.
Gideon leaned against the kitchen counter. “Are you asking me or telling me?”
“Telling you.”
He looked at the package. “It’s a cartoon.”
“It’s animated. There’s a difference.”
“Not to me. If we have to watch a movie, can’t we see one with a lot of car chases and shoot-outs?”
She would have assumed he’d seen enough violence for more than one lifetime, but he was a guy. Those kinds of movies generally had a specific outcome. Emotional drama could be ambiguous, which most men found unsatisfying. It was why so few of them enjoyed foreplay without promise of orgasm. Not that Gideon had been seeking either from h
er.
“This will be fun,” she told him. “And that was also an announcement.”
“Can we negotiate?”
“No. I researched movies online. This one received excellent reviews and the themes are significant to our situation.” She stepped closer and gazed into his eyes. “Please?”
He could have stepped to the side and escaped her. Instead he stayed where he was, his hands braced on the counter behind him. “Using your feminine wiles to convince me?”
“I’m trying,” she admitted. “I don’t think my wile skills are above average, but I’m hoping you’ll overlook that.”
She looked at his face, at the handsome lines. There were a few small scars, but they only added to his appeal. She could see part of a tattoo at the sleeve of his T-shirt. She knew about other marks and scars on his body and felt a flicker of desire. Heat and need burned through her, and she very much wanted to make love with him right that second.
But there was Carter to consider, not to mention the fact that Gideon didn’t seem overly interested in pursuing their chemistry right now. Probably because of everything going on, she thought. Having a son changed everything.
“You don’t have to be afraid,” she said, without thinking.
Gideon stiffened and slid away. “Let’s go watch the movie.”
She grabbed his arm, feeling hard muscles tighten under her grip. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. Challenging your masculinity is only going to make you more defensive and less trusting. You’ll focus on what you have to prove rather than the situation at hand.”
One dark eyebrow rose. “This is your way of making it better?”
“Too much analysis?”
“Oh, yeah.”
“Are you angry?”
“I should be, but I’m cutting you a break. Mostly because I owe you.”
She breathed a sigh of relief. Crisis averted. “So that’s why you’re not huffing and puffing about what I said?”
“Huffing and puffing?”
She smiled. “It’s an accurate description.”
“You’re cute when you’re intellectual.”
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