Harper is on guard duty while Leo went home to take a quick shower and change his clothes. The only way I could get him to leave my side and take a break was to tell him that he was starting to stink and it was making me sick. A slight exaggeration, but he looked absolutely exhausted and I really wanted him to relax, even if just for a short time.
He made Harper promise that she wouldn’t take her eyes off of me. As if Harper isn’t the most responsible person on the planet.
When her eyes soften I have a feeling I already know the answer to her question. “I told them you were in an accident. I explained everything that happened.”
“They’re not coming to see me, are they?”
Harper shakes her head.
Even though it’s the answer I was expecting it’s still like a punch in the gut. “Did they say anything?”
“Your dad said maybe you really will get clean and sober this time.”
I know it’s the response I deserve, but it still hurts.
***
When Leo returns he’s freshly showered and his hair is still a little damp. For the first time when I look at him I don’t immediately think about sex. Not that I’m be doing much of that any time soon with a broken hip.
Harper and Rayne went home for a while so it’s just the two of us.
It takes me a moment to realize Leo’s carrying a small box with him. My immediate thought it that I hope it’s not some kind of gift. I don’t think I can emotionally handle that right now.
When he sits down in the chair next to me and hands me the box I cringe. I can tell it’s jewelry and based on the size of the box maybe a watch.
Buying a girl jewelry has implications that I’m not sure I want to deal with right now.
“Open it.” There’s so much excitement in his voice I feel bad for my less than enthusiastic reaction.
I gasp when I open the box and see it’s a Cartier Miss Pasha watch. The one I mentioned to Harper that’s worth ten thousand bucks.
“Why did you buy this for me?”
“Flowers are a cliché, right? Maybe I didn’t want to be the King of Clichés just this once.”
“Cliché Mangler,” I remind him. “Get your nickname right.”
“King Cock would be so much more appropriate,” he teases.
“Don’t make me laugh,” I tell him. “It hurts too much.”
His eyes soften. “I don’t want to do anything to hurt you anymore than I already have.”
“This isn’t your fault,” I tell him.
He places a soft kiss on my forehead. It’s such a sweet gesture it makes my heart skip a few beats. I glance down at his gift again.
“Why this watch? It’s the one I mentioned to Harper. That can’t be a coincidence.”
He shakes his head. “It’s not. I overheard her having a conversation with Nic about it. I wasn’t being nosy. They were talking loud. And it wasn’t in private or anything. Harper said you talked about it. That you wanted it.”
I blink back tears. “This is a ten thousand dollar watch.”
“Why are you crying? I thought you’d be happy. I wanted that frown turned upside down.”
I shake my head. “You’re ridiculous. Just like a little boy.”
He laughs. “So I’ve been told.”
I hand him back the watch. “I can’t take this.”
He looks struck. Like I just slapped him. And I immediately feel bad again.
“Don’t you like it?”
I bite my lip as I try to think of the right words to express how I feel. “It’s absolutely beautiful.” I run my finger along the edges of the stunning diamond lined watch face. “But that’s the point. I’m not worth it. I’m not good enough for this watch. I’m a throwaway LCD watch. I’m not a watch that you treasure like this one.”
He carefully removes the watch from the velvet lined box. “I treasure you. And I always will. You’re worth a lot more than this watch.”
Lifting my non-injured arm he places the softest of kisses on the inside of my left wrist. Then he fastens the watch on my arm.
“You know I’ve never bought a present for a girl before.”
“Never?” I can’t help the surprise in my voice.
He shrugs. “I may have given a girl a few bucks for a pregnancy test once. Back in high school. The condom broke. That was before I started double wrapping.”
“What a gentleman,” I tease. Then I ask a more serious question. “You’ve never even bought something for Raven? You’ve been—um—with her for years.”
He shakes his head. “It’s not like that.”
“Like what?” I probe.
He runs his index finger around the face of my watch then he looks back up at me. His dark eyes are fiery. “Raven was more of a fuck buddy. Like one of the guys, but one you can screw around with when you feel like it. She’s not like you.”
I swallow. My heart is starting to thump so hard I’m afraid Leo will be able to hear it pounding. “And what am I like?”
“You’re it.”
I wait, but that’s all he says. I furrow my brow in confusion. “What does that mean?”
“I was traveling on this road for so long. It felt like it was never going to end. It was packed with clubs and bars and high end restaurants. Even snack shops and fast food places. And they were all open twenty-four seven and they were all free. Anything and everything I ever wanted to eat or drink was just waiting for me to take whenever I wanted it. But then the road just ended. Bang. Just like that. Full stop. But at the very end of the road was this one place that had everything I could ever want for the rest of my life. I’ll never need to go into any of those other places ever again, because this place—this perfect place at the end of the road has it all. And that’s you. You’re the perfect place at the end of that really long road. You’re it. You’re everything.”
“That has to be the most convoluted story I’ve ever heard in my entire life.” Only from Leo’s mind could something that bizarre pop out. I kiss his cheek. “But it’s also the most romantic.”
“It’s symbiotic,” he says.
I think about it for a moment. “You mean symbolic.”
“See. You get me. You’re one of the few people who do.”
“I wonder what that says about me.”
He grins. “It says you have awesome taste in guys. Or at least one guy.”
He grabs my hand and caresses my fingers. “Am I it for you?”
When our eyes meet I see that his are filled with apprehension.
Even though I swallow my throat goes dry. I don’t know what to say. “I never thought about it.”
He nods, but I can still see the hurt in his eyes. I can hear Raven’s warning echoing in my head. “You can fuck Leo as much as you want just don’t fuck with him.”
Is that what I’m doing right now? Fucking with him? When I try to remove the watch from my wrist he stops me.
“Don’t take it off.” Even though I generally disregard other people’s commands for some reason I accept this one.
“Okay,” I agree.
When our eyes meet I can see a bit of the sparkle has returned to Leo’s. “I’ll be here waiting for you whenever you’re done with all of the other clubs and bars and restaurants and fast food places…”
“You forgot the snack shops.”
He grins. “And the fucking snack shops. Although I have no idea why you’d even want a snack shop when you can have prime rib whenever you want.”
Now I’m the one who’s grinning. “Are you telling me you’re prime rib?”
“I’m USDA Prime, Baby.”
“With a broken hip I won’t be visiting any snack shops, clubs, bars or restaurants for a while. I won’t even be indulging in your USDA Prime.”
“Four to six weeks.” He bites back a grin. “I asked the doctor how long before we could have sex.”
I can feel my face heat and I’m sure I’m turning red with embarrassment.
“He said people
ask that question all the time,” Leo adds.
“Four to six weeks is a really long time…” Implied in my question is whether he’s willing to wait that long to have sex.
He takes my hand and kisses my knuckles. “You’re worth the wait.”
“Are you sure?”
“Sex isn’t the only reason I want to be with you, Brooke. Don’t get me wrong. The sex is fantastic, but it’s not my favorite thing about you. It’s not even in my top three favorite things about you.”
“I find that hard to believe.”
“Whether you believe it or not it’s the truth.”
“So what are your favorite things about me?”
He holds up his index finger. “Number one: that we can talk. About everything and anything. You take me seriously and you really listen to what I say. You don’t just dismiss it because I’m not a genius like Rayne or Harper. Number two: we can make each other laugh. That’s important. When you get old you may not be able to have sex as much, or maybe not at all. But you can still talk and laugh. Number three: I like spending time with you. I don’t mean just in bed. I like having you on the back of my bike. I like going on dates. I’ve never done shit that like before.”
I can feel myself start to tear up, but I don’t want Leo to see me getting emotional. His confession makes me wonder if I feel the same way about him. If we could never have sex again would I still want to spend time with him? Would I still want to be with him? Leo seems to have given the notion a lot of thought, but it’s not something I’ve ever considered.
As much as I hate the idea of being so broken I can’t even have sex maybe it’s a blessing in disguise. For the first time since puberty it’s physically impossible for me to be a slut.
***
Physical therapy should just be called torture. It’s a much more accurate description of what is going on. My doctor told me he’d release me from the hospital when I could rise out of bed, walk to a chair, sit down in a chair, rise from the chair, walk back to the bed and get back into the bed.
After my second day of being tortured by Steven, one of the hospital’s staff physical therapists, (who I’m sure doubles as an enhanced interrogation technician for the CIA and water boards people in his spare time), I was finally declared ready to leave the hospital.
My first few days out of the hospital I used the walker they provided and it made me feel like a really old woman. I can’t say I’ve ever seen anyone my age use a walker. Not that many people my age break a hip. And using the walker with the cast on my wrist proved to be quite a challenge, but Leo was with me every step of the way.
Literally.
He hasn’t allowed me to take a step without being right next to me. He says he wants to make sure that I don’t fall.
Harper and Nic went all out purchasing what I imagine is every piece of equipment available for my recovery and therapy. Luckily the physical therapist they hired to assist me at home is a little less strict than Steven was. Franny seems to actually have a heart when she insists I move my body in ways it doesn’t want to move.
“That’s all for today,” Franny says after I finish using the exercise ball.
I was never in great shape to begin with. Being an addict isn’t exactly conducive to exercise. And let’s be real. I don’t actually like to exercise. But Franny insists that the only way to strengthen my bones is through working out.
This could be the first time in my life I’ve actually followed directions and done something that was good for me.
“Thanks, Franny,” I say as she packs up towels and throws them into her tote bag.
“You’re doing great, Kiddo.”
Franny is probably about my mom’s age, but sometimes it’s hard to tell. She has the type of face that probably looked forty when she was twenty and hasn’t seemed to age in twenty years.
“You should be good as new in no time.” She throws her tote over her shoulder then gives me a huge, crooked grin.
“I was never really that good,” I admit.
She frowns. “What are you talking about? You’re young and beautiful. You’ve got a great guy who obviously cares about you. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you.”
I heave a sigh. “I’m not sure I even know who I am anymore.”
She takes a seat on a stool next to me. “What do you mean?”
“My life fell apart long before the accident. That was just like the icing on the shit cake. Ever since I was a teenager I’ve been reckless. A carefree party girl. A drunk. A slut. I really don’t know who I am if I’m not any of those things anymore.”
“Who do you want to be?” When she looks into my eyes I feel like she’s looking into my soul.
“I thought you were supposed to be a physical therapist, not a mental one.”
She laughs. “I’m not a professional counselor. This is free advice, so take it for what it’s worth. Don’t let anyone else define you. You decide who you want to be. You don’t have to be defined by your past either. The here and now is all that matters. My parents wanted me to be what they considered the perfect daughter. I would go to college, but only as a vehicle to snag a husband. I was supposed to marry a doctor, have two perfect children, live in a house in the suburbs with a picket fence and a dog. You get the picture. I didn’t want any of those things. I live in a condo with my wife and our cat. Much to my parents’ disappointment. They hate cats.”
We both laugh.
Then she continues. “I tried to live the life they wanted for too many years. But it didn’t work. I’m finally happy because I’m living the life I want to live. I get to decide who I am and what makes me happy. No one else.”
“I’m not sure what makes me happy,” I admit.
She raises an eyebrow. “Are you sure you’re not sure?”
I laugh. “I’m not sure about anything. Even not being sure about not being sure. Does that even make sense?”
“All I know is that whenever that tattooed rock star walks in here your face lights up like a Christmas tree. He seems to make you extremely happy.”
“Who makes her happy?” Leo says as he struts into the room.
“Done with practice already?” I ask.
“I’m taking a break. I wanted to see how you were doing.”
“Franny says I’m doing well.”
Leo gives me a kiss on the cheek. Then he puts his arm out so I can grab it as I rise from the exercise ball.
“I’ll see you tomorrow, Kiddo,” Franny says as she makes her way out of my bedroom.
“I’m making really good progress,” I tell him. “I’m sure you’ll be able to go on the road with the guys…”
Leo shakes his head before I even have a chance to finish my sentence. “You’re still in physical therapy. You’ve still got the cast on your arm. Harper’s going on the road and I’m not leaving you here alone.”
“Franny will be here every day. And it’s only for a week.”
“Franny isn’t here twenty-four seven. What if you fall? Who’s going to help you take a shower? Who’s going to cook for you?”
I roll my eyes. “I think I can manage for a week.”
“Rayne is auditioning a replacement for me tomorrow. I guess he’s some hot shot musical pudgy.”
“Musical pudgy?” I repeat because I’m not sure I heard him correctly. “What’s that?”
“You know. Those guys like Mozart. They’re like musical geniuses when they’re kids.”
I laugh. “You mean musical prodigy.”
He frowns. “That’s what I said.”
“I can’t let them replace you. In your own band. It’s not fair.”
“It’s only for a week. We won’t be touring the new album until next year.”
“It’s just not right…”
“It’s already been decided.”
Even though I say, “Fine,” I don’t think it’s fine at all.
Twelve
Leo
Darrow Thompson. He’s the musical prodigy
Rayne wants to hire as my replacement for the charity concerts. He looks like a button-down shirt wearing douche, but who am I to judge? From what I hear the guy can really play.
And he does have an awesome guitar with him. One of the best. A Custom PRS Paul Reed Smith 24 Semi-Hollow.
But there’s something about him that I just don’t like. I just can’t quite put my finger on it. I may not be the smartest guy on the planet, but I know people. There’s something not right about this guy. He’s a cocky son of a bitch, but how many guys in rock bands aren’t?
It’s strange when he takes a seat right between Xander and Raven, but when he looks at Raven like he owns her I know something is definitely up.
And I don’t like the way Raven reacts to him. Like she wants to get as far away from him as possible, but she can’t. That’s not like Raven at all. When she doesn’t like someone or something everyone knows it.
“You all know why we’re here,” Rayne says. “The first thing I want to say is that if Harper was in that car instead of Brooke I wouldn’t be going on the road either. I completely understand, Dude.”
Both Xander and Raven nod. Even if they have issues with Brooke I think they’ve figured out how much she means to me.
“I want you all to meet Darrow Thompson. He comes highly recommended. And I think he’ll be a wonderful addition to the band while Leo is home with Brooke. I’ve already heard him play, but I wanted everyone to hear him and tell me what you think. This isn’t a dictatorship. We all get a say in what happens with Always Rayne.”
I plop my ass down on the couch and Xander sits on the couch with me. Normally Raven would squeeze in between us, but she takes a chair on the other side of the room instead. Rayne prefers to stand and I’m pretty sure he’ll start pacing once Darrow starts. He can never sit still when there’s music playing.
Darrow sits on a stool in front of us with his guitar. He starts with a guitar solo from Guns N’ Roses “Sweet Child O’ Mine” which is flawless. The guy’s got chops, there’s no doubt about that. But when he moves into Pink Floyd “Comfortably Numb” I’m really blown away. The guitar sounds like it’s crying. It kills me to say it, but I’ve never heard anyone play like that in my life.
Sometimes Brooke (The ALWAYS SOMETIMES NEVER Rock Star Romance Series Book 2) Page 12