Blind (Senses Series Book 1)

by Xavier Neal

  My hands go to push against his chest as a warning to stop, but get caught by his. His fingers cover my wrists and pin them above my head as his tongue swipes across my top lip demanding entrance. Wish granted. Logan’s tongue wraps around mine and a small groan escapes out of him. As the kiss continues, my tongue welcoming his with open arms, his body shifts and he lets go of my hands, so that his can further explore. My bottom lip gets caught between his teeth and a small whimper escapes me, shooting straight to the wetness growing heavy between my thighs. Like he knows that’s what’s happening, Logan shifts a hand under the side of my dress and up my thigh to where my underwear once was.

  When he finds there’s nothing there he pulls slightly away on a pant to growl, “Are you fucking kidding me?”

  Too shell shocked to say anything I manage to shake my head, and whimper again as his lips pounce mine once more, hungrier than before. How is that even possible? Logan’s fingertips creep over towards my hot spot when the sound of the doorknob turning causes him to shoot away from me like a jolt of electricity.

  “There you are!” Stuart sounds relieved.

  How do I breathe again?

  “I was worried you left and I’d have to wait until tomorrow to get the shots up.” He looks back and forth between Logan, whose face looks calm, though at the rapid rate his chest is rising and falling, I know that’s not true, and me who probably looks sexed up because I basically just was.

  I totally just was!

  Stuart carefully speaks again. “I’m sorry, was I interrupting?”

  My eyes flicker to Logan unsure of what the fuck just happened. Instead of giving him the power to answer, I take it into my own hands. I know this conversation needs to be back burnered until we get home.

  “Nope. Let’s go look at those shots.” I peel myself off the wall and pull my dress down, the puddle between my legs is so bad that I don’t know how I will get anything done without thinking about how Logan’s touch is burned into my skin.

  I don’t even know how I’m walking straight right now.

  With one more glance over my shoulder, I see a small smirk on Logan’s face that if I had blinked I would’ve missed. Confidently, I put a little extra wiggle into my walk knowing where his eyes are.

  ***

  A couple hours later, after running around all night like the entire place could burst into flames at any given moment, I am thankful to be headed home with Erin driving.

  I’ll level with you. I hate driving in general. I know how to, but it’s just one of those things that I don’t enjoy. Thankfully the rest of my friends do, and we typically all seem to be headed the same general direction.

  With my high heels in my lap, I nibble nervously on my bottom lip trying to listen to Erin tell me about how much she hates one of the female bartenders and that she’ll have her fired.

  Erin is strongly opinionated, which you’ve gathered on your own by now, and for the most part it’s a great thing. Unless she doesn’t like you, and then it’s like being on God’s shit list. Expect wrath. Expect it full force.

  While her problems with the heavy set bartender are important, so is the fact that I’m moments away from a life changing thing. Logan kissed me tonight.

  No. Don’t do that. He really kissed me tonight. Not a brotherly sisterly peck. You were there! You saw it! It was a full-fledged, let me fuck you against the wall kiss. The thought causes a familiar ache between my legs. God, I would’ve let him fuck me up against the wall. Sh. Keep any judgments to yourself please.

  “I swear she doesn’t even talk, she moos.” Erin continues as we get out of the car, our bags swung over our shoulders. She looks as perfect as she has all night. I look like I could just fall over at any second.

  “She’s not that big.” I find myself defending the girl.

  I don’t like her either, but I get what it’s like to not be the skinny one.

  “She’s only a couple sizes bigger than me.”

  “If by couple you mean to the power of, then yeah she’s a couple sizes bigger than you.” She slides the key into the lock.

  Erin can get quite crabby after a long night of work. As you can see.

  “It’s not even about her size really. I don’t have a problem with heavy set girls, but let me dress you to accent your features and focus attention in the right places. It’s my fucking job ya know? Let me do my job! I don’t tell you how to produce milk.”

  “Erin!” I snap, laughing at the comment as we head down the hallway straight for an unexpected sight on the downstairs couch.

  My body freezes in place suddenly unresponsive. I know I should scream or yell or stomp off, but the shock of it all has managed to stick me to the very place I am standing.

  “Are you kidding me?” Erin huffs putting her hand on her hip.

  Logan pulls his lips off of the girl who had his tongue’s attention while the girl that was sucking on his neck looks up as well, both have sex stoned faces planted on them. As their hands continue to paw at him, he cocks a grin at Erin not even acknowledging me.

  “We have rules!” She storms into the kitchen. “You conduct your jungle experiments in your room!”

  When his eyes finally land on me they’re more lifeless than they’ve ever been. I’m familiar with this Logan. This is the look that checks in when life starts to get too meaningful. When life starts to show promise that he doesn’t feel he deserves. It’s the same look he had at his mother’s funeral. The one that shows any signs of love, are burned and buried.

  This. Logan. Breaks. My. Heart.

  “I know Erin,” he sighs, his eyes leave mine as I feel a couple tears itching in the back of my throat.

  Do. Not. Cry. Maxx. Don’t shed a goddamn tear. Not right here. You don’t wanna see me cry do you?

  Arrogantly, Logan says, “What can I say? We got a little sidetracked.”

  “Yeah well, take the monkey twins upstairs.” Erin’s reference could be to the brown outfits with tails they are wearing or the fact they have lanky arms that would be perfect for swinging from trees. With that comment she starts spraying all three of them with a squirt bottle filled with water.

  “Oh!” the girls squeak and scurry towards the stairs as Erin continues to spray.

  She hits Logan several times in the back of the head. “That’s a bad dog!” Squirt. Squirt. “Very bad dog!”

  Normally, I would laugh uncontrollably.

  It’s okay that you are. I promise. I know the situation is very comical. I also know what it feels like to have your heart ripped out of your chest, shown to you, and have someone have sex on top of it.

  “Not quite what you had in mind when I said I’d make sure you girls got wet huh?” Are the last words we hear Logan say before he shuts his bedroom door and the door to any possibility of a conversation with me.

  Be hard to talk with his tongue tied huh?

  “Great,” Erin groans looking at the couch with disgust. “I’m gonna have to Lysol that. You know girls like that carry fleas.” When the joke doesn’t get a laugh out of me she gently nudges me in the side. “You okay?”

  Knowing there’s no way I’m in the mood to talk about the meaningless kiss we shared a couple hours ago, or the fact that afterward I had to watch him paw the string bean twins who barely looked legal enough to drive let alone drink, I just shake my head and put on my faintest smile.

  I know you can tell it’s not believable but it’s the best I’ve got right now. Deal.

  “Yeah I’m just exhausted. I guess it finally caught up with me. I’m gonna crash. See you for breakfast?”

  “Yeah. Maybe Luke will make pancakes. God I could eat some pancakes.” She begins to fantasize and I snicker.

  “Where is Luke?”

  “Still at the bar I guess.”

  “He
usually beats us all home.”

  “Yeah. He was acting strange tonight.” She seems lost in a thought but gives up on it. “Anyway, sleep tight.”

  “You too.”

  Slowly I ascend the stairs to what feels like the Walk of Shame. At the top I hear loud over exaggerated moans from the girls, which causes me to scurry down the hall faster.

  At least I pray they are over exaggerated.

  Once my door is shut behind me and my bag is on the floor I nail my head against the back of the door. This fucking sucks. Is this what God calls balance? ‘Hey Maxx, you get your dream job and a chance to kiss your dream guy, but at the end he’s gonna have a threesome you weren’t invited to, sound good?’ No! NO IT DOESN’T SOUND GOOD!

  A steady buzz coming from my bag causes me to stop yelling in my brain. Pulling out my cell phone I check the text.

  Tony: Is it tomorrow yet? I’m dying to hang out with you again.

  I stare at the words for awhile emotionless. Maybe I don’t like Tony as much as I should right now, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to stay that way.

  You know what? There’s no way in hell it is.

  Me: I know what you mean. Lunch date tomorrow instead?

  Tony: Done. You pick the place and I’ll meet you there.

  Me: Reese’s Burgers at noon.

  Tony: Can’t wait.

  Me: Me either.

  Tony: Sleep well beautiful.

  Me: I will now.

  I know it’s a fucking lie, but shut up.

  I squeeze my eyes shut tight.

  Sorry that was rude. It’s not fair for me to take my anger out on you. Please don’t leave me. Not yet. I really don’t want to be alone tonight.

  Chapter 11

  Maxx

  Dragging my ass down the stairs in my cheer shorts, tank top, and sports bra, I admit to myself that I have to tell Erin and Luke. They’re gonna know something is different between Logan and I, and it’s gonna take everything I have in me not to strangle him on sight.

  The smell of freshly made pancakes perks me up for a moment. Luke and Erin were both born with incredible cooking skills, meanwhile, I burn waffles in the toaster.

  My mother was never a very good cook either nor my grandmother to my memory. Hell, my aunt only kept things that could be thrown in the oven for every meal. If it weren’t for Luke and Erin’s parents I would’ve never really known the definition of a home cooked meal.

  “I made you smiley face pancakes,” Luke says, his back still to me as he finishes layering bacon, my favorite food next to cupcakes, beside it. Turning around he hands me a pancake with a chocolate chip face. Immediately, he gets that all too familiar, all knowing look. “What’s wrong?”

  “She’s been like that since last night,” Erin says stabbing at a bite of egg from the end of the kitchen table. She’s already dressed for work.

  Figuring there’s no point in beating around the bush about it, I shrug. “Logan kissed me last night.” I plop in my seat and have a bite of bacon.

  Luke stalks over towards the table gripping his favorite ‘I heart sexy doctors’ coffee mug.

  I know. Not clever.

  Leaning against the edge of the island closest to the table, he carefully asks, “What kind of kiss? Like an ‘I’m so stoked I won’ kiss? Or like a ‘you’re my prize’ kinda kiss?”

  “Like you belong in an x-rated porn novel that’s been banned in bookstores across America kinda kiss.” That description forces the memory back to the front of my mind. Not like it wasn’t there almost all night, seeping through every vein, swimming around like it was the most natural thing in the world. Like being sexual with him was as necessary, and as easy, as breathing. I take another bite of bacon.

  “Wow,” is Luke’s response.

  “Then when we got home last night he was making out with the tall, long, and skanky twins.” My snip causes Erin to pick up her coffee cup and snigger. “I mean, what the hell? What the hell am I supposed to do with that?”

  Angrily, I start stabbing my pancake, the fork hitting the plate makes an obviously obnoxious sound that seems to echo through the house. The truth of the situation is that here I am flipping out about what Logan has done to me, once again, while he lies comfortably passed out in his bed stress free.

  I think I’m starting to really hate him.

  “Are you actually open to suggestions?” Erin cautiously asks, hiding behind her cup.

  “Fuck it.” I shrug. “Why not?”

  “Seems to me the solution here is simple. Do things Logan’s way.”

  My chewing slows down and I tilt my head in confusion. “I’m sorry, the syrup that’s seeped into my pancake is apparently forcing me to hallucinate. Could you repeat that?”

  “Hear me out.” She holds up a hand. “We all know Logan, right? He’s spent his whole life running to try and survive, so the thought of something permanent would mean the opposite of survival, ya know? It would mean he was in some sort of danger. Backwards, but it is what it is. He lives his life like he thinks he’s gonna die before he’s 25, like he’s James Dean or something.”

  “Looks more like Jase Dean,” I grumble and then pause to picture the model in my head.

  God, sometimes they could be sexy twins, even if Logan is just slightly smaller framed with a slightly sweeter face. You do know who Jase Dean is, don’t you? No? You might want to take a moment to render that.

  “Focus,” Erin calls me back as Luke chortles at me.

  You try picturing Jase and not getting a little distracted.

  “Play his game. Have moments with him and keep being his best friend. Act like the moments mean as little to you as he is pretending they mean to him.”

  My friends have officially lost their goddamn minds.

  “I don’t want to be another pair of underwear that gets lost under his bed—”

  “And you won’t be.” Luke steps into the conversation.

  Do you smell that? Yeah. That. Smells like bullshit right?

  Luke continues, “You could never be. And that’s part of what scares him. Hooking up with you would require him to make more stable choices, which we all know he needs. You’re good for him, perfect in fact, but he’s just gotta learn to see it.”

  Perfect? I’ve never been perfect for anything in my life aside from cupcake testing.

  “So, play his game.” Erin waves her hand at me. She instructs sternly, “Flirt with him, make out with him, fool around with him, but do not sleep with him. I repeat. Do. Not. Sleep. With. Him.”

  Why is she saying that like it should be my new mantra?

  Confused I lean back in my chair. Erin continues, “That’s the only rule. Don’t screw him until he’s proven that once it happens he’s not just gonna walk away. That he’s not just gonna wake up and sneak out of bed like a one night stand. Make him commit first.”

  Logan can’t even fucking spell commit. Not sure he believes it’s a real word.

  Luke jumps on the bandwagon of nonsense. “Doing things this way, one of two things is gonna happen. He’s either gonna finally come to his senses and go balls to the wall with you, or he’s gonna realize the only reason he thought he wanted you was because you were off limits like some sort of forbidden fruit and let you go. Either way, it puts an end to the cat and mouse bullshit you’ve had to deal with for years.”

  “Years,” Erin emphasizes and I pick my fork back up.

  Her echo there wasn’t necessary right?

  “I don’t know guys. That sounds…sticky. Like this could end badly. Like really badly. Like we won’t make it out kind of badly.”

  “Please,” Erin jeers. “There’s nothing that could tear the two of you apart. Any of us really. We’re all we’ve got, ya know? Worse comes to worst you might have
a Ross and Rachel situation for a little while, but we’ll cope.”

  Pleased, I smile. “Did you just make a Friends reference? You hate that show.”

  “You rub off on everyone,” she grumbles.

  True.

  With another bite ready on my fork I ask, “And what about Tony?”

  “Keep him.” Luke nods. “A little competition is good for the soul. Ask Erin. She’s always got at least four guys competing for her attention.”

  She glares at her brother. “You better have meant that in a baby sister is desirable sort of way and not my baby sister is a slut kinda way.”

  “There’s a difference?” Luke starts laughing and she chunks a piece of egg at him across the room making him laugh even more.

  Before I can object again, Erin turns her attention back to me. “Look Maxx, you’ve done it your way. Do it our way now. Maybe the change will work. It’s gonna take some major acting skills on your part, but I know you’re more than capable.”

  Her confidence in me makes me smile.

  What if they’re right? What if trying this route with Logan will spark a change between us to either shit or get off the pot? To get out of this horny limbo we’ve wedged ourselves into? In a way, I’d be having my cake and finally screwing it too. Wait. No screwing. That’s the only rule. Could be fun. Could be exciting. It could also be the biggest mistake I’ve ever made in my life. Aren’t some mistakes worth making?

  Suddenly the sound of feet on the stairs causes us to turn our attention towards the stretched out Mary Kate and Ashley twins who are adjusting their matching brown dresses, both missing their tails and ears from last night. Probably their underwear too.

  I swear Logan doesn’t have a weird underwear fetish or anything. It’s just that girls have a tendency to leave them behind after screwing him. I feel like they leave them because they hope he’ll call them again. It obviously goes to show you your panties are no place to keep your hope.

  “Ooo pancakes,” one says and heads towards the kitchen.