With his array of talents, he easily maneuvered Elizabeth through the house without stumbling across anyone. She almost wished they would have been caught. Then he would have no choice but to marry her.
Yet she would never accept a marriage to Gabe if he’d been forced into it. It would be his choice and only because he couldn’t possibly live without her.
When they reached the door, Gabe offered her a quick kiss and a soft, “Good night, Minx” before he left her. She watched him walk away with his dismissal of their future on her mind. But she wouldn’t be deterred.
He might not be able to marry her today, but tomorrow was an entirely new day.
Chapter 36
The next morning Gabe found himself sitting at his cluttered desk once more.
But today was different. Today he couldn’t find his focus. Today visions distracted him.
Visions of a sweet, delectable, half-dressed woman perched on the very desk that now held a layer of books, ledgers, and papers.
A grin arched his upper lip when he recalled the uproar the mess he and Elizabeth had left in the study had caused. Thinking the intruder had returned and rifled through the desk, Wilkes had awakened Gabe in a very controlled Wilkes-like state of distress. Gabe had had a devil of a time trying to explain how everything from the desk had come to be on the floor.
It amazed him that he’d kept the satisfied smirk off his face, knowing the real reason his study had been left in shambles. Either way, Wilkes must be losing his touch if he’d believed Gabe’s lack of organizational skills had resulted in piles of documents tipping over and sliding to the floor. It had sounded like pure rubbish. Thankfully, being the Duke of Wesbrook had benefits.
Not being questioned happened to be one of them.
Uncomfortable with someone other than himself or Phillip going through the papers, Gabe had rolled from bed, dressed, and retreated to the study before others caught sight of the mess.
After righting the papers, the hour was still early. Gabe had started going through the remaining reports. However, at his current rate, he’d never be done.
It was all Elizabeth’s fault.
Maybe not exactly her fault. His distraction was no one’s blame but his own, but like most things in his life, she was intricately attached to it.
Weary with staring at numbers and seeing nothing but gibberish, he shoved the ledger away. Yesterday might have been an aberration. Maybe he didn’t have what it took to be a responsible landowner.
Perhaps he should stay with what he knew . . . gambling, drinking, and pleasuring women.
Strike that, pleasuring a woman. One very singular woman.
But after telling her he couldn’t marry her, he’d be surprised if she ever allowed him to touch her again.
Except this was Elizabeth and when she loved something, she let nothing stand in her way. Something he was only now beginning to understand.
Nevertheless, for her own sake, he would do what was necessary to keep his lustful intent away from her. The last thing he needed was for her to become with child.
He’d already been subjected to a sleepless night battling the possibility she could be carrying his babe. Part of him leapt with joy thinking of her slender frame, rounded from increasing.
Mostly, he felt worry. And fear, that his future son would, despite Gabe’s best efforts, grow to be like him and all the previous Wesbrook scoundrels.
Afraid or not, if it came to pass, he would do the right thing and marry her. In no way would he leave her vulnerable to the vicious ton. Besides, if things were different—if he were different—he would whisk her to Gretna Green right now and attach her to him for the rest of their lives.
Instead, he would love her the only way he was capable of—from afar. And someday hope he found the strength to break from the person his past had made him.
If only he knew how to inform Elizabeth they could no longer be together intimately. She would fight him on it. Of that he was damned sure.
Thinking of how her face brightened, and her eyes flashed with light when she became so determined, sent shivers of enjoyment through him.
Absorbed with all the wicked ways he’d like to turn the light in Elizabeth’s eyes to burning embers, he didn’t notice the door opening until it clicked shut.
When he realized who’d entered, uncharacteristic heat rose in his cheeks. His only excuse for the boyish flush was that being caught in the middle of erotic thoughts by his three-year-old daughter wasn’t an everyday occurrence. Thank God.
A bit unclear as to how to interact with the half-sized person before him, Gabe chose to remain silent and let her make the first move. It might not be very manly, but it was by far the wisest decision he knew of.
He remained seated as her blue eyes scanned the room before she finally spotted him sitting at the desk. It was so bloody adorable the way she set her tiny chin in a determined angle and headed straight toward him—a small doll clasped in each arm—that he almost circled his desk to greet her.
He’d even gone so far as to place his hands on the surface to push himself from the chair before he realized his intention. What the hell was he thinking? He hadn’t a notion what to do once he reached her.
Embrace her? Try to atone for the father he wasn’t?
No. He needed to stay where he was.
When she got close he felt like he’d taken a punch to the gut. The nearer she came, the more her cornflower blue eyes shone with unmistakable happiness.
Since he usually went out of his way to avoid her, he didn’t know why he would incite such delight. Whatever the reason, the sight of her childish glee melted a chunk of hardness inside him. To be honest, she’d been taking solid chinks out of it since the day she’d appeared on his doorstep.
He didn’t know what he’d do the day she finally broke through the wall. And break through it she would. Not even a cold blackguard such as himself could lock this sweet child from his heart forever. Besides, she was his daughter. His attachment to her went beyond mere affection.
His worry stemmed from something deeper. Dread that allowing her into his life would bring her nothing but misery. Maybe now, to a child, having him as a father held some appeal, but as she grew and finally learned who her father was, she would come to hate him.
Even if his future held nothing else, he couldn’t find it in him to turn her away. Though he might only have the scamp’s affections for a short time, every moment of despair when she finally spurned him would be worth it.
She eventually reached the edge of the desk and instead of staying on the side nearest the door, she didn’t stop until she stood beside his chair.
Tenderness warming over his nerves, Gabe pushed the chair back. “May I help you?”
Downright terrified at what her answer might be, the calm of his voice surprised him.
Instead of answering with some crazy childlike request, she set her dolls on his desk—disregarding the papers that fell to the floor with her efforts—and crawled onto his lap. Her response had him frozen stiff in the chair.
She started to toddle on his knees and his arms quickly encircled her waist, afraid she would lose her balance and fall to the floor. At his gesture, she snuggled closer to his chest until her mop of curls rested just below his shoulder.
Her easy display caused his throat to tighten. Unable to restrain himself, he tightened his hold and found himself enjoying the feelings of tenderness as they worked their way through him.
“Papa, may I have a pony?”
Now there was the silly request he’d anticipated. “A pony? What would you do with a pony?”
“Ride like Lizzy.”
That had him belting out a quick laugh, for even though Phoebe and Lizzy might not be alike in looks, they matched in spirit. In fact, now that he thou
ght about it, Phoebe and her tendency to hunt pirates and search out critters reminded him of the rascal Elizabeth had tried to be during her youth.
“You want to ride, eh?”
She nodded against his chest. “Just like Lizzy.”
“You’ve seen Lizzy ride?”
“Uh-huh.”
“What would you do if you could ride like Lizzy?”
She didn’t even pause to think about it. “Catch pirates.”
He should have known. There’d been a few occasions where he’d been interrupted by the pirate adventures his daughter and Millie shared.
“Tell you what. How about we talk of getting you a pony for your next birthday? Until then, you can hunt for pirates while riding with me. Would that suffice?”
Did he just willingly volunteer to spend time with his daughter? Not only time, but in a situation that would have them in close proximity—where he wouldn’t be able to avoid conversing with her.
What was happening to his well-ordered life? It might have been scandalous and at times lonely but at least he’d found comfort in it over the years. The emotions and situations he experienced lately were enough to scare the hell out of him.
His precocious miss bounced up on her knees—almost knocking the air from his chest with her sudden movement—and just as quickly, he pushed aside his reservations. Anything that brought such joy to her had to be worth whatever sacrifice he made.
To the devil with his comfort. He’d walk through coals every day if it caused her to smile at him as if he’d singlehandedly reached for and plucked her a star from the sky.
Her excitement bubbled over when she asked, “Can we go now?”
Since a ride held more appeal than sifting through mind-numbing ledgers, he was happy to oblige. “I don’t see why not.”
Soon after, he and Phoebe trotted along a well-worn path that wound through his land. Brimming with excitement, Phoebe had remained still just long enough for one of the maids to ready her. Leaving Gabe barely time to gain the stable and request for his horse to be equipped before his daughter had rushed in, primed to go. Not even the sheer size of Brutus had scared her off.
Instead of fright, she had giggled when the huge beast cranked his neck around to see where the flurry of noise came from, and as if in greeting, snorted at her.
When they’d set off, Gabe at first held himself rigid, not exactly sure how to handle the closeness. But, as Brutus’s large hoofs ate up the ground beneath them and the steady motion moved through him, Gabe’s arms started to relax. The awkwardness melted away with the help of Phoebe’s incessant prattling.
He’d have to be a complete pile of rocks to keep from echoing her sentiment.
“Faster, Papa!”
He chuckled at her daring nature. “Sorry, pet, I’m afraid Brutes will have only one speed today . . . slow.”
He couldn’t see her face, but he could feel her disappointment. However, being a determined spitfire, she quickly bounced back.
“Can we go fast tomorrow?”
A desire to be her hero almost had him promising anything. Luckily, his good sense prevailed. “Not tomorrow. Someday when you are older I promise we will ride as fast as you want.”
“Can we catch pirates?”
“We can capture all the pirates in England if you wish.”
That must have appeased her since she fell quiet for the first time since leaving the stable. Gabe used the blessed moment of peace to survey his emotions.
The uncertainty, apprehension, and anxiety he felt comfortable with. They were feelings he’d become accustomed to since the day Phoebe had come into his life.
Contentment and lightheartedness, on the other hand, terrified him. Not because he was afraid of loving Phoebe. Hell, if he were any kind of man, loving his daughter would be natural.
Gabe worried about his capacity for fatherhood. He had no firsthand knowledge as to what good parenting entailed. His own sire had barely qualified even in the most fundamental sense.
Nevertheless, his path had been set the moment Phoebe had been born and not even his dark soul had the ability to turn from her.
“Look, Papa, a pirate!”
Phoebe’s squeal snapped his attention to the present.
“And where is this dangerous pirate?” he asked, assuming he was indulging her imagination.
“There.”
Gabe’s gaze followed the direction of her pudgy finger.
Instead of an empty countryside, the sight of a single man sitting atop a horse troubled Gabe. In normal circumstances, a lone rider wouldn’t cause alarm. There were plenty of tenants and others who had access to his property.
However, after Elizabeth’s encounter with the intruder and the incidents in London, the sight of the man caused Gabe’s muscles to tense as well as his blood to boil. His fingers itched to encircle the man’s neck and squeeze. Something beyond irrational since he had no way of knowing if the stranger and Elizabeth’s attacker were one and the same.
“Are we going to get him, Papa?”
If not for Phoebe, Gabe would have been halfway to the man, prepared to confront him.
Instead he opted for caution. “No, every good soldier knows not to run headlong into a fight without studying his opponent.”
“They do?”
He hadn’t a clue what a real soldier would do, but it kept Phoebe occupied, so he opted to add, “Absolutely. We shall need to approach him slowly. Look for his weakness.”
Phoebe bounced with excitement at the chance of a genuine escapade.
“Can we go fast?”
The hint of danger didn’t keep a faint smile from curving his lips. Each day he witnessed more and more of his younger self in his daughter.
My daughter. The fact that the two words no longer tightened his gut and made nerves crawl over his skin amazed him.
He turned Brutus toward the trespasser and ignored the twinges that told him going after a possibly dangerous man with her along for the ride was the complete opposite of keeping her safe.
Gabe appeased his conscience by justifying he simply wanted a closer look. He wouldn’t do anything that would put Phoebe in harm’s way.
Keeping a keen eye on the man, they slowly approached. A good distance separated them so Gabe wasn’t able to discern his features.
The night of Elizabeth’s attack, the garden had been too dark to see much of anything. Gabe knew the dim moonlight hadn’t been his only hindrance. His focus had been on Elizabeth. Even when he’d been pounding on the scoundrel, Gabe had kept his attention on her, sprawled on the grass.
Now, as he continued to study the man on the dark horse, his stomach tightened with the same fury that had coursed through his veins in the garden.
Time seemed to stand still when Brutus edged closer. The stranger wore no hat, and Gabe was able to study the man’s face and observe his reaction.
Just a lad. If he was a day over twenty, Gabe would be surprised.
Relief started to ease his tension until the young man’s horse shifted, casting the morning sun across more of his face.
Gabe honed in on the bruising that spiraled around the lad’s eye and fanned across his cheek. Having worn plenty of his own over the years, he knew undoubtedly the young man sported a black eye that was the result of a well-aimed fist.
Gabe’s knuckles twitched around the reins as his anger returned, taking on a life of its own. He raised his heels to spur Brutus on, desiring nothing more than to finish off what he’d started in the darkened garden.
His boots were about to connect with Brutus’s muscled sides when Phoebe spoke. “Do you see his weakness, Papa?”
He froze. What the hell was he doing? Immersed in a bellowing rage, he’d forgotten about Phoebe. He’d have to be insane to con
tinue approaching the stranger, who could easily be armed.
What if something happened to Phoebe? He’d never forgive himself.
Having one innocent life on his conscience was plenty, more than he could handle.
He pulled back on Brutus’s reins. There was no alternative. He’d have to avoid any altercation. They were already too close for comfort. If the lad pulled out a pistol, Gabe would never be able to get out of shooting range before he squeezed off a shot.
Gabe eyed the young man closely. Instead of returning his gaze, the miscreant had his focus directed at Phoebe, almost trancelike.
Uncertain why, Gabe tightened his hold on his daughter. There was an intensity to the stranger’s face but his features weren’t harsh. In fact, as he continued to look at Phoebe, his expression seemed to soften.
Gabe’s eyes narrowed. Why the interest in Phoebe?
The young pup finally looked away from Phoebe and locked on Gabe. The gentleness vanished and anger exploded over his bruised face. The transformation changed him to a person capable of anything.
Anxious to carry his daughter to safety, Gabe lifted the reins but before he could give Brutus his direction, the stranger spun his horse around and sprinted into the trees.
Damn. He would escape before Gabe could return Phoebe to the house and take pursuit.
“Papa! He is getting away!”
Phoebe’s tiny voice throbbed with frustration and Gabe understood her disappointment. Except his stemmed from a darker place. He’d never obtain peace until he found this interloper and eliminated any chance of getting close to Elizabeth or Phoebe.
“Sorry, sweet, but we’ll have to hunt pirates another day. Besides, I’ll bet Elizabeth is wondering where you’ve gone.”
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