The Path to Finding You

by S M Broad

  “How did you figure it out?” I ask, hugging my best friend while rubbing her bump. She gives me a really, bitch type of look that makes me laugh out loud.

  “You only live six houses down from me, did you think I wouldn’t notice something?”

  “Well your detective skills are grade-a. I’ll give you that one.”

  “I’ll be here all week.” Aayla curtsies. “Now, go make your guesses, it’s almost time for the reveal!” She points over to a table in the corner with a glass jar and chalkboard full of colored tallies that says What’s your vote? Pink or Blue? Leave us name suggestions too!

  I grab two pieces of chalk, pink and blue, and strike a tally on each side. I set the chalk back down and pick up two squares of paper, writing the name Finn Thomas on one and Bryn Noelle on the other. After I'm done, I stick them into the jar. I peek over at Kohen, who is scribbling his own guesses.

  “No peeking at my baby names, Dennison.” He teases me, sticking the folded squares into the jar also. Then he picks up a piece of pink chalk, marking two tallies on the girl's side.

  “Whatever, Stone.” I scoff but smile as he bends down to kiss me. Aayla’s happy squeak breaks us apart, and I shake my head.

  “I’m gonna go get us some drinks.” Kohen chuckles, walking off toward a table in the large kitchen. The extended surface is split in half with pink cups and a clear container with a pink punch on one side and blue cups with a container of blue punch on the other.

  “She’s really excited that you guys are together.” I turn toward Latham’s voice as he talks from a few feet away, making his way to stand next to me.

  “I know she is.”

  “I don’t know why she’s so surprised, though, after the conversation she and Kohen had on Thanksgiving.”

  “Huh?” I give Latham a confused look, not having the slightest clue as to what he’s talking about.

  “Never mind.” He dashes away to the dessert table with wide eyes as Kohen comes back with two cups.

  “What was that about?” He stops in front of me, head swiveling to look at Latham.

  “I don’t know.” I play dumb, deciding to ask him about this conversation later.

  “Pretty in Pink or Bouncing Blue?” He extends both punches, and I take the pink one, sipping the sweet drink. Kohen’s finger trails down my arm lightly, stopping when he gets to my palm. I look up at him with a one-eyed squint, threading our fingers together.

  “How many kids do you want to have?”

  “Um, I don’t know.” I shrug, surprised by his random question. “How many do you want?”

  “At least two, maybe three.” He glances down at me, taking a drink from his blue cup. I blink a few times to shake the conversation from my head, pushing his words to the back of my mind for the time being. I’m about to sneak over to the dessert table to get a pink-colored white chocolate covered pretzel when I see Latham’s dad Boone. He’s carrying in two black balloons with pink and blue colored string tied to them from the backyard. His gruff, aged voice gets the attention of all the guests when he comes in the sliding glass door.

  “It’s time to find out what my new grandbabies are.” His knowing excitement pulls a smile from me as Hensley runs over to him, wearing a multi-colored t-shirt that says World's Best Big Sister on it. He gathers her into his arms, kissing her sweetly on the head.

  “Papa!” She snuggles into her grandpa’s chest as Latham takes one balloon from him. Aayla grabs the other, and the whole group gathers around their living room for the big moment.

  “When the countdown is over, just pop the balloons and colored confetti will come out,” Boone says, handing them needles before backing away a little to make room.

  “Are we ready?” Aayla smiles at the small group of people waiting in suspense.

  “Yes!” Latham shouts, making everyone laugh. “Come on, I want to know what my babies are!”

  “Okay, okay. Let’s count together.” Aayla bounces back and forth on her bare feet, readying to pop her mystery balloon. Latham stands to the left while Aayla stands to the right, holding the balloons out in front of them by the strings.

  “One…Two…Three!” Collectively, we all say the numbers, hitting the last as the balloons make a loud popping sound. Pink and blue confetti fly in all directions, making us clap and cheer loudly. Aayla’s eyes shoot to mine, covering her mouth with her hands excitedly while I throw mine up in celebration.

  I was right!

  “I told you!” I yell, making her laugh. Latham pulls his fist down proudly, and then wraps Aayla in a tight hug, whispering into her ear. Her eyes fill with tears, and she nods at whatever he said, love shining brightly as she looks at her husband.

  Chapter 21

  After a long day of new baby celebration, I pull off my brown suede booties, letting them drop onto the floor in the kitchen as Kohen searches the refrigerator for something to drink. I walk to the wall, striking one more day closer to Christmas off the calendar.

  “Eleven days. We still need to get a tree.”

  “We can go tomorrow if you want.” His muffled voice comes from deep inside the fridge. I ogle his shirt-covered back for a long moment, watching his muscles expand and retract as he bends forward. As I’m appreciating my man’s backside, Latham’s comment about Aayla talking to Kohen at Thanksgiving comes bouncing to the front of my thoughts. I lean forward, resting my elbows on the counter.

  “Hey, can I ask you something?” I tap my mauve painted nails on the granite top. He finally emerges and turns to look at me, holding a half-gallon of orange juice in one hand as his other shuts the door of the fridge.

  “Anything.”

  “Did you talk to Aayla on Thanksgiving?”

  “I talked to a lot of people that day.” He smirks at me, knowing the conversation I’m really talking about but skirting around the topic with a joke.

  Classic Kohen.

  “Wiseass.” My eyebrow lifts on its own as I give him a bored look. A peal of laughter bursts from his mouth at my expression. He grabs a glass from the cupboard to pour his drink, shrugging easily.

  “I may have.”

  “And?”

  “And what?” He takes a drink of the orange liquid.

  “Kohen,” I groan impatiently, slapping the countertop with my palms. “What did she say?”

  “She encouraged me to try again with you.” Setting down the half-empty glass, he walks to stand across from me, folding his hands together nervously.

  “She did?”

  “I guess she knew what we both wanted but wouldn’t say out loud. Can’t say I’m mad about it, though, because that conversation brought me back to you.” Rounding the counter, he pulls me into his arms with a tug, and cups my neck softly.

  “You’re all I want, Leila.” He gazes at me with such admiration, my heart practically bursts with butterflies.

  Excuse me while I melt into the floor.

  “You’re all I want too.” I lift up on my tippy toes, drawing my lips to his for a long, slow kiss. He tugs me closer, taking a little more from the union of our mouths. Fisting one hand at the nape of my neck, he releases my lips to kiss the tender skin, causing a breathless sigh to escape. His tongue is warm, wet on my sensitive flesh as he trails it up the curve, stopping at my ear to whisper.

  “Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?” He swallows thickly.

  Swoon.

  “Thank you,” I say, unconvinced as I drop my gaze to the floor, my chest weighted with emotion.

  “Leila, look at me.” Kohen pulls away from our hug just as I force my eyes from the floor to his face. “Seriously, how do you not know?”

  “I’m fairly certain all women get insecure at one point in time. It’s in our genetic makeup.”

  “I wish you could see yourself through my eyes.” He sighs, shaking his head disapprovingly.

  “Would it help if I told you that I feel pretty when you look at me? When I catch you staring or when you compliment me?”

 
; “Not pretty, Leila. Beautiful.” He caresses my cheek with his thumb.

  “There is honestly nothing better than hearing those words.”

  There may be one better thing.

  “I’m so lucky you’re mine.” Kohen kisses my flushed cheek, and just like that, I’m one step closer to falling off the edge again.

  “Try it.” I pull my sleep-tousled hair up into a high ponytail, laughing at Kohen’s terrified face as he stares down at the cup. “It’s just coffee, Kohen.” I blow across the top of my own mug, cooling the steaming drink.

  “I get having eggnog at Christmastime, Lei.” He glances at me with an odd look on his face. “But eggnog creamer? That’s an abomination.”

  “It is not.” I laugh at him.

  “It should be against the law.” He says like he’s been personally victimized by this creamer.

  “You’re such a wimp.” I taunt him, knowing if I prod enough, he’ll get annoyed and give in. His blue eyes flare with challenge as he grabs the mug, taking a huge swallow of the coffee.

  What a sucker.

  “Well?” I ask with another savored sip from my mug. His lips smack together curiously, tasting the seasonal creamer I picked up from the grocery store a few days ago.

  “Alright. It’s not that bad.” He grumps, defeated by me, and my master plan to convert him into a flavored creamer lover. I squeal delightfully, pointing a finger at him.

  “Ah-hah! I told you!” I do a little celebration dance, wiggling my ass from side to side. Kohen’s arms slide around my waist, tugging me back into his chest.

  “Yeah, yeah.” I can picture his eye roll. “You were right.”

  “I’m sorry, what? Could you repeat that?”

  “I said, you were right.” His lips inch closer to my ear, whispering. When he kisses the soft spot in the crook of my neck, his warm breath causes a wave of goosebumps to prickle my skin.

  “Can I get that in writing?” I tease him just a little more, turning my head to kiss him only to have our lip lock interrupted by the doorbell ringing.

  “Who’s that?” Kohen asks, hugging me one more time before releasing me. I shrug because I’m not expecting anyone. Walking to the door with Kohen following closely behind me, I swing it open to see my brother, Kai, loaded down with two duffle bags and a full lumberjack beard.

  “Holy shit! Kai!” I shove into his full arms, hugging him. “What are you doing here?”

  “Hey, chicken nugget. I came to see my favorite baby sis.” He rubs my back, squeezing just a little bit harder before his body goes rigid. I look up at his face, following his angry glare to Kohen.

  Oh shit.

  I never got a chance to fill him in on what’s been happening since everything just kind of fell together at warp speed.

  “Kai, you remember Kohen.” I try to bring lightness to my voice, but it shakes and waivers with nerves.

  “I try not to.” Kai drops his duffle bags, folding his arms across his broad chest.

  “I guess I deserve that. It’s good to see you, man.” Kohen extends a hand for a peaceful shake, but Kai sneers at it like it’s covered in dog shit.

  “Can’t really say the same, asshole. What the fuck is he doing here, Leila?”

  “Kai! What the hell is wrong with you?” I fold my arms across my chest and scowl at my older brother. He looks down at me disapprovingly.

  “What’s wrong with me? I come to surprise my little sister for Christmas because mom isn’t and find this douchebag – the fucker who broke her heart- in her house. That’s what the hell is wrong with me.”

  “Mom’s not coming?” My heart sinks for multiple reasons.

  “Fuck. She didn’t call you. Damn it.” He rubs his beard in annoyance while I simply shake my head sadly.

  “I’ll come back when he’s gone.” Kai shoves a meaty finger in Kohen’s general direction, picks up his bags, and stalks back to the cobalt blue pickup truck he drove here in. When he squeals out of the driveway, I close the door and turn to face Kohen.

  “I’m so sorry.”

  “It’s fine, I know he doesn’t like me. I’ll go stay with my mom so you guys can spend time together.”

  Fuck that.

  “No. We’re together, and he’ll just have to fucking deal with it. You’re not going anywhere. I want you here just as much as I want him here.” I look back at the door like I can x-ray vision my way to see Kai’s truck.

  Merry fuckin’ Christmas.

  Chapter 22

  After texting Kai last night to find out where he’s staying, I got up this morning and made the short drive to the Comfort Inn Extended Stay to talk to him. I hold a drink carrier with two paper cups of coffee with Abby’s Place scrawled in cursive writing in my hand. I tap a melodic knock on the door with one knuckle, waiting for him to answer. The shuffle of feet tells me he’s awake and heading my way. The chained lock scratches across the door, and I open my mouth to tell my jerk wad of a brother just where he can shove his opinion of Kohen, only to be taken off guard when he’s not the person standing in front of me. A woman with highlighted brown hair and hazel colored eyes stares wide-eyed at me, a mirror image of my own surprised face.

  “Uh, hi?” I say, leaning back to check the number on the door to make sure I have the right room.

  105.

  I look back at her, noticing she’s wearing a shirt that’s twice the size it should be with Seattle, WA printed on it.

  Coincidence?

  I think not.

  When it slowly dawns on me that I’ve walked into Kai’s morning after booty-call, I force a smile.

  “Is Kai here?” I say just as I hear some pipes clank and shut off.

  “He's in the shower.” Booty-call girl’s voice is timid as she looks me over like a deer in the headlights of a hunter’s truck. “Who are you?” She seems to find some courage, standing a little taller to try and intimidate me, moving to stand in the crack of the door.

  How cute.

  She doesn’t know that I can be as lethal as a venomous rattlesnake when I’m pissed off, but we’ll save that for a time when I don’t want to upchuck my breakfast because she thinks I’m going to steal her date from her.

  “Leila.” I give her an eyebrow lift. A door inside creaks open, and then I hear my brother’s voice.

  “Who is it, Em?” He pulls the door open farther, frowning when he sees me. He’s wearing gray sweats, hair wet from his shower.

  “Truce? I brought coffee.” I hold up the carrier, feeling slightly wrong. I don’t have a cup for his late-night lover.

  “Em, this is my sister Leila. Leila, this is Emily.” He motions from her to me.

  “This is your sister?” Her voice is relieved.

  “My sister.” Kai smiles warmly at her and then looks at me. “Can you give us a couple minutes?”

  I nod, backing up to lean against the wall. The door shuts, and their muffled voices fade as they move farther from the wood. A couple verses of “She Will Be Loved” by Maroon 5 and three drinks of the butterscotch latte from my paper cup later, the door opens again to a fully dressed Kai and Emily. She’s wearing pink scrubs with dots on them and clean, white tennis shoes.

  Maybe she’s a nurse.

  “I’ll call you.” Kai tucks a piece of her chestnut brown and blonde streaked hair behind her ear before kissing her forehead tenderly.

  “Okay.” She beams up at him, biting her bottom lip before looking at me again. Emily shifts towards me, and upon closer inspection, the spots on her scrubs I thought were polka dots are actually tiny teeth. “It was nice to meet you.”

  “You too,” I reply with a slight smile, waiting until she’s around the corner to speak to Kai.

  “What’s up?” He tucks his hands into the pockets of his sweatpants as I hold the coffee cup out to him.

  “I come in peace,” I say, talking in an alien voice like the little green dudes from his favorite Disney movie Toy Story. An amused smirk cracks his lips apart, as he pushes the door open wide
r for me.

  “Come in.” Kai enters the small room as I follow, sitting down on the edge of the rumpled bed while he takes a seat on a chair in the corner.

  “Late night?” I joke, stalling from the dreaded conversation we’re about to have.

  “Not in the way you think.” Kai chuckles and shrugs, unbothered by my nosiness.

  “So, about Kohen.” I start but slam my lips shut to keep from ripping him a new asshole when he grunts and rolls his eyes. “What the hell is your deal?”

  “I don’t like him.”

  “You don’t say.” I snap sarcastically, growing increasingly more pissed off by the second.

  “Why the hell was he there, Leila?”

  “He lives with me.”

  “You gotta be fucking joking.” He scratches the back of his neck. “Please tell me you’re not back together with that fuckhead.”

  “Yes, we are together.”

  “Jesus fucking Christ.”

  “Will you just shut the hell up and listen to me for one damn second?” I snap, beyond irritated at my brother's assholeness. He crosses his arms silently, staring at me with annoyance on his face. He’s giving me a look that says get on with it already.

  “He needed somewhere to stay, and I couldn’t say no.”

  “Yeah, actually, you could have.” He scoffs, the sound making me shake my head.

  “You don’t understand.”

  “You’re right, Leila. I don’t understand why you’d let that drunk motherfucker back into your life after he shredded you apart the way he did.”

  “Trust me, brother, you really don’t get it.” Tears threaten to fall when I think about all the things we’ve been through.

  “He could have died.” I blink, looking up at Kai’s shocked face. “If I hadn’t gotten to him when I did, who knows what would have happened. I don’t think he would have made it.”

  “Fuck. Are you serious?”

  “I almost lost him, and when he asked me for a second chance…” I sigh. “I gave it to him because I love him. I love him so much, and I can’t live without him, even though he’s hurt me. The good outweighs the bad.” I wipe my face with the sleeve of my long navy colored shirt.