The Pen is Mightier

by J. A. Cipriano

  That was great because it kept them from shooting at me, but bad as hell because I had no idea what was going on. I knew one thing though. I needed to get the fuck out of here. I didn’t want to deal with any of those gun-toting assholes nor whoever had caused the explosions. The midget had been nice, sure, but at the same time, the moment he’d pointed at me, they had opened fire. He could deal with whatever the fuck this was.

  No, I needed to not be here. Taking a deep breath and trying to calm myself, I pushed down the pain in my chest and legs and began to hobble toward my car while trying my best to stick to the crowds of people rushing into the parking lot. I threw quick glances around, trying to find the guys with the guns, but I didn’t see them anywhere. They’d vanished from sight. On the one hand, that made me feel a lot better, but on the other?

  On the other, I just worried they’d sneak up behind me and jam a knife into my kidneys. I wasn’t even sure who they were, but one thing was certain, they’d wanted me dead enough to open fire on me.

  Careful to stay in the crowds, I slowly made my way to my shitty Kia. Even though my whole body hurt and my clothes were covered in blood, grime, and everything else, I was glad to have reached it without anyone killing me.

  I quickly unlocked my car, and as I slid into the driver’s seat, something jabbed into my ass. Reaching down, I found I was sitting on that stupid pen. I stared at it for a moment in surprise. With everything that had happened, I’d forgotten about the midget’s pen.

  Shoving the pen and the notebook in the cup holder, I started my car and sped toward the rear exit because M16s and Roger Stevens don’t mix. Not even slightly.

  Thankfully, the exit was only a few meters away. With any luck, I could escape this place before it became a total clusterfuck. The absolute last thing I wanted to do was get shot by those SWAT-looking motherfuckers or blown up. No. All, I wanted to do was run and hide.

  As I exited and pulled onto the main street, I slammed my foot on the gas, rocketing away as fast as my beat up Kia could take me. Then I made a right, and a left, and a few other turns. I didn’t think anyone was following me, but I couldn’t be too sure.

  After about fifteen minutes of driving in a direction that could only really be classified as away, my phone rang, and I nearly jumped out of my skin before I realized what was going on.

  “God damn,” I muttered, trying to keep my heart from pounding its way through my chest while my phone played the theme to Legend of Zelda.

  Quickly fishing the phone out, I quickly glanced at the screen to see who it was. My face fell. It was my boss from my second job at the superstore. Amy Soli. The one I’d just wanted to be nice to me. Of course, she’d be calling me now.

  Whatever it was about couldn’t be good. I knew from experience she’d just keep calling until I answered, leaving one angry voicemail after another, but at the same time, I had just scored with the midget giving me a couple grand.

  I took a deep breath. No. I was rattled as fuck, and there was no way I wanted to deal with her right now. I just wanted to go home and take a shower before hiding in my bed and hoping those gun-toting maniacs didn’t find me. Only, as I had that thought, the phone continued to ring, drawing my eyes to it.

  The thing was, as much as I hated dealing with Amy, I was having a lot of trouble keeping my mind off what had happened. Yeah, the adrenaline rush was starting to fade, but maybe talking to her would be good. Maybe it would distract me.

  “Hey, Amy. What’s up?” I asked as I answered the phone, trying to keep the panic at what had happened out of my voice. “It’s not really a good time for me to talk.”

  “You know it’s creepy as fuck when you answer the phone like that, right?” she asked, and I heard her sigh into the receiver. “Like, I get it because it probably shows my name or whatever, but I still don’t like it.”

  “Look, I was just at the carnival, and there was an explosion right next to me, and I’m kind of freaking the fuck out,” I said, not sure how else to respond. “I don’t even know why I answered the phone because all I want to do is go home right now.”

  “That’s actually why I was calling, I saw that on the news and knew you had a delivery there… Are you okay?” That was certainly odd. Was that a note of concern I heard in Amy’s voice? “I heard there were terrorists…”

  “Yeah, I’m okay. The explosion threw me back, and I got shot at, but I escaped, and now I just wanna go home,” I said before I could stop myself. Geez, the adrenaline must really be getting to me.

  “You got shot at? Did you call the cops?” she said, and the way she said it was odd, almost worried, which was when I realized my boss, a woman who had once told me she would rip off my balls and shove them up my ass so far I’d taste them when I’d incorrectly arranged the blenders was concerned for me, even though that was how she had told me to do it, but I hadn’t.

  “No. I ran the fuck away, and I’m not calling the cops. I just want to forget about the whole thing.” I said, suddenly wishing I hadn’t answered the phone. I should have just put it on silent. “I really just want to head home. I have a quiz to study for, and I just worked a shift.” I glanced outside the windows. “It’s dark, and I’m really not in the right mind to be working.”

  “I totally get that.” She took a deep breath. “But I know you lost your parents, don’t you live alone?”

  “I do.” The words weighed on me because I knew the second I got home I was going to freak the fuck out. I wouldn’t study, I wouldn’t do anything besides jump at every single sound. It was going to be miserable.

  “Then come here. No one else is here, so I’m stuck here by myself. I’d called to see if you were okay because of the delivery, but now I’m just worried. Please come. You could study here. That would be better than being all alone, I think.” She took a long breath. “I’ll even get you something to eat. I’d made a bit of dinner for myself, but you could share it with me if you like…”

  I didn’t know what to say because this had never happened before. Part of me wanted to accept because, admittedly, I wasn’t going to do anything much at home, but most of me was worried. I didn’t need the shift, and I didn’t want it. I had to study too.

  Only… the thing I wanted more than that was not to be alone. I wanted that so much I decided to just go for it. Sure, she was my boss, but even spending time with her would be better than jumping at the sound of every raindrop outside. And Hell, if she was telling the truth, I might even get to study and get a meal out of it.

  “I’ll be honest, Amy. I would really love to do that because you’re right, I don’t want to go to my empty apartment, but I’ve had a gross day. I really need to shower and change. That would take at least an hour and by then?” I winced as I said the words hoping that would be okay.

  “Okay, but make sure you come by after, I’ll even let you clock in. That way you’ll get paid for your time. It’s a good deal, and you know it,” she bubbled into the phone.

  “Amy, I’ll be there.” I sighed. “I’m not sure why I’m letting you talk me into this, but I appreciate you trying to be there for me. It means a lot. So yeah, I’ll come. Thanks.”

  “Good. I’ll see you in a bit.” The phone went dead in my ear, and I swear to God I stared at it for a good fifteen seconds.

  “What the fuck just happened?” I mumbled to myself, but then again, I wasn’t one to look a gift horse in the mouth. As much as I just wanted to go home and hide, I was definitely intrigued by the prospect of not being alone for once in my life. Sure, it’d be my boring boss, but still…

  Shaking my head, I turned on the radio and began to drive toward my place, trying to put the business with the midget and the explosions out of my mind. So far, no one had accosted me, and I was pretty sure that meant I was in the clear.

  Better still, the traffic wasn’t bad, which struck me as a bit odd. Shouldn’t there have been a bunch of commotion from the explosions and whatnot? Only, there wasn’t. Hell, there wasn’t any traffic at a
ll. As I ambled through the city streets, I realized I was the only car on the road.

  It was late, but not late enough for it to be like this. Not at all. No. Something was off. I just wasn’t sure what it could possibly be.

  Easing up on the gas so a cop wouldn’t spot me and decide I was going to fast given the level of traffic, I made my way home as quickly as I could.

  As I approached my apartment building on the bad side of town, I managed to find a parking spot only half a block away and nearly cried out for joy. The building I lived in was only about a decade old and had been built when a developer had knocked down some tenement houses and erected a massive low-end apartment building in their place. Since the streets had been designed to have only about ten houses on either side, and this building was only four stories, there was no parking anywhere.

  If it had been five, the owner would have been required to build parking, but as it was, he’d gotten out of it.

  Still, this was closer than I usually got, and as I climbed out of the car, I found the night air chilly. Worse, I could feel my body stiffening up. It was no good at all. As the wind swept across the street, kicking up old candy wrappers and causing plastic soda bottles to rattle like ancient teeth, I made my way home.

  It was obvious from the moment I stepped onto the third floor that my roommate wasn’t home. I lived in the unit closest to the stairs, and as I approached, I saw the front light was off, the curtains were drawn, and no music drifted from beneath the door. All signs pointed to Marty being out.

  Despite being a suave lady’s man, he was a good guy though, paid his rent on time, and occasionally brought me along with him to bars. He’d even tried to play wingman for me, but my ability to talk with women ranged from somewhere between awkward and non-existent. It wasn’t that I couldn’t talk to them, I just didn’t know what to talk to them about since none of them seemed particularly interested in things I thought were great.

  Part of me was glad Marty was gone. I always hated walking in on him with a girl because it always made me feel more alone. Sometimes I’d thought he did it on purpose, but either way, it always made me feel awkward. After all, what was I supposed to say when I opened the door to find him getting a blowjob from a blonde? Anything other than sorry for existing seemed out of the cards.

  Knowing that wasn’t the case this time, I unlocked the door and stepped inside. The smell of trash from the kitchen nearly overwhelmed me, and I cursed. I knew I should have taken it out, but I’d hoped Marty would do it. Evidently, he’d thought the same thing.

  Sighing, I flipped on the lights as I made my way to the kitchen. I quickly pulled out the bag and set it outside the door, so I could take it down when I left. Then I went to the bathroom to shower.

  5

  I adjusted the tie to my Super Mart uniform as I sat in my car in front of work. I hadn’t been sure what to wear, but this seemed the most reasonable. Even still, something about wearing the red tie always felt a bit off to me, and it was a small comfort that both men and women were required to wear the same thing. A white button up, a red tie, and black slacks. The owners thought it brought an air of prestige to the place, but I was pretty sure it just made people feel like they needed to dress up to shop in our tiny version of Target.

  Whatever. There was no use complaining about it. I took a deep breath and sighed. It’d taken me a lot longer to get here than I’d expected, and I wondered if Amy was going to be pissed I was late. Taking a shower hadn’t been so bad, but once I’d gotten back on the road, traffic had been insane, like all the people who should have been driving earlier were suddenly on the road trying to make up for lost time. Worse, it’d felt like people were watching me, even though I knew that was insane.

  Still, after seeing what seemed like the same black van follow me for a few blocks, I started driving in crazy directions until I’d lost them. All in all, my paranoia had cost me an extra forty-five minutes, and honestly, I was not looking forward to getting yelled at. As dread welled up in my stomach, I unfastened my seatbelt and drummed a hand nervously on my steering wheel. I was stalling. I knew that. I also didn’t care. A few minutes wouldn’t make any difference at this point.

  Casting a quick glance around the nearly empty back lot, I spied only a repair van with no driver and Amy’s car, a rather nice Lexus SUV that was a perk of her position of manager of the store. As I stared at it, I wondered what it’d be like to ride inside it. I’d never even been in a car that nice before.

  As the thought crossed my mind, I wondered if I should write that down, you know, to visualize it like the midget had told me. I knew it was silly, but it couldn’t hurt. Besides, I was stalling, and what better way to stall than to write myself notes? Hell, I could even read it.

  Turning my eyes back to the moleskin and pen in the cup holder, I stared at them for a long moment. I was procrastinating, but fuck it. Step one, read what the midget had written. Step two, write about riding in Amy’s awesome car for visualization purposes.

  I picked up the notebook and opened it. Only, the notes inside didn’t make sense. It was all weird sentences like “play in the NBA and score game-winning point” and various other fantasies. The last page with any notes at all, which was page three in the notebook, said “carnival midget with awesome suit.” It was followed by a note about wanting the best chicken sandwich in town and then finally by, “have the right ID.”

  That seemed a weird thing to write, and as I stared at it for a moment, I briefly recalled the midget writing in it and telling me to check his ID again. Surely that was a coincidence, right? There was no way his weird line had anything to do with me looking at his ID wrong the first time. Unless it did?

  I wasn’t sure, but as I flipped the page and found my own notes, I noticed something I hadn’t before.

  On the back of the page with the notes about being a midget was a single sentence. “I just want to stop being bored.”

  It was weird because as I looked at the sentence, I could tell it’d been written idly. Not with the same steadfast strokes as the rest of the words on the other pages. I briefly recalled the guy complaining about being bored, and I hadn’t quite understood why, but then again, with his whole “write what you want and visualize the good” bullshit, maybe that was what he’d been doing. Either way, I resolved to ask him about it if I ever saw him again. You know, assuming whoever had the guns and explosions hadn’t already killed him.

  Part of me couldn’t believe that had happened, and as I sat here, I still wanted to go home. The only reason I hadn’t stayed there was because even that short time alone in my apartment had been too much. The whole time I was in the shower, I’d worried someone would kick the door in and shoot me.

  While being with Amy wasn’t exactly ideal, it would be better than staying home alone, especially if she did let me study. Taking a moment to glance around outside for ambushers, I closed the notepad and shoved it in my pocket before getting out.

  As I went to close the door though, I found myself looking at the pen still sitting in my cup holder. I couldn’t say why, but something in me made me grab it and shove it in the pocket of my slacks before grabbing my backpack and heading to the back entrance.

  I locked my car, adjusted my stupid tie again, and made my way to the back door. A quick swipe of my keycard on the door lock caused it to blink from red to green, and as I pushed it open, I found myself staring at a well-lit room. It was a touch odd because the lights in here were motion detecting, and were almost never on.

  “Amy?” I called, stepping inside and shutting the door behind me. As it closed with the click of an electromagnetic lock settling in place, I looked back and forth down the hallway. I didn’t see her, or anyone else, anywhere, but then again, she’d said no one else was here.

  “Man, I need to get a handle on things.” I took a deep breath trying to stop myself from jumping at every shadow. Just because there had been a weird explosion and guys with guns did not mean people were after me. I mean,
why would anyone care about me? I was a shitty college student with an even shittier part-time job. Sure, I aspired to more, but that would come with time. Once I graduated and got a real job, I’d tell both places to fuck off.

  I laughed to myself, and the movement made my ribs ache. As I paused to rub them, I knew I’d have a hell of a bruise in the morning. Part of me was still shocked I’d come through the whole thing with what seemed like relatively minor injuries. Hell, after I’d exited the shower, it’d been hard to tell I’d been hurt at all. Only that made no sense because I’d been thrown twenty feet through the air into a car.

  That was not something I wanted to dwell on. Not the explosion. Not the guys who shot at me. Not my miraculous recovery. None of it.

  Part of me knew I shouldn’t have come in at all, but the thing was I didn’t want to be alone, and I had to study anyway. Besides, once I clocked in, they’d have to pay me for at least four hours, and if I got paid extra to study and got dinner? Well, that’d help me keep my mind off things.

  Or at least it was supposed to keep my mind off things, but something about stepping into an empty superstore in the dead of night made me anxious in a way I couldn’t quite explain. I knew there were probably no terrorists or whatever, but that didn’t stop me from imagining them around every corner.

  A quick swipe of my keycard against the timekeeper caused it to light up, marking my entrance time and letting me know I was officially on the clock. Good. Now to find Amy.

  Adjusting my book bag over my shoulder, I moved past the clock and toward the break room. I wasn’t sure if that was where Amy was, but it was on the way to her office. There was a good chance she’d be in one of the two places if we were supposed to eat.

  A quick peek inside the break room revealed it to be lit up like the hallway, but there wasn’t anyone there either. It was a bit odd because there was always someone here. Even at night, there were stock boys and the like. Hell, there should still have been people here. Only, there wasn’t anyone. Not even the repairman who had his van parked out back.