I don’t mind the Twilight jokes as much as I used to. I still love the movies, don’t get me wrong, but I understand that whether the vampires should sparkle or not has nothing to do with why I like them. It really all comes down to the side characters for me.
I’m excited to see you for Halloween. It’s always a fun holiday even if I don’t know what to dress up as. I’ve changed my mind about ten times already. I guess it’s fine as long as I don’t dress up as a demonic rabbit. Ever wonder what it would be like to time travel? I do, but I don’t really get physics enough to understand how it would work. One of these days I’ll find a science that I actually get. I got a B- on my last bio Quiz. That’s way better than the C I got last time. Ever think I’d be happy with a B-? Me neither, but I guess that’s what college is about, resetting your expectations.
Take care of yourself. I miss you. I miss working together, and I hope you find a co-worker half as cool as I am.
28 days, 6 hours, 42 minutes, 12 seconds,
Fern
19
September 18
Subject: Am I dying?
I'd love to tell you I'm feeling one hundred percent better, but that would be a bold faced lie. I feel awful, but I've been sucking it up. Mainly because I have no choice. I have to go to class. Missing a day and a half put me so far behind it isn't even funny. And then there's work. I just started. I can't call in sick during the first week. Besides, I think me looking the way I do only adds more pizzazz to my company's tours. I've seen the way some of the tourists look at me this week. They probably think I'm a ghost tagging along for fun.
They couldn’t be closer to the truth.
Maybe I should ask someone tonight if they want to know my secret...I see dead people. Joking. Totally joking. Although, I am starting to feel like I'm becoming one. This cold needs to kick itself to the curb because I don't know how much more I can handle. I don't have much of an appetite. I'm exhausted, but I can't sleep. My body hurts too bad. Funny thing is, I don't have a fever. I've checked. Multiple times. I'm not a doctor, but I know when someone is sick they usually have a fever. It’s the body’s way of fighting off a virus.
Apparently, my body isn't trying to fight off whatever this is. Does that mean my body wants the sickness to win?
I miss you too. I miss the good old days at Movie Central. You're right, being sick when you're far away from home sucks. Congratulations on your B-. Don't beat yourself up about not making an A. This college thing is hard.
Holder
P.S. I'm drinking loads of fluids, but it doesn't seem to help. And chicken soup would be awesome right now.
20
September 19
Subject: Get better now
Ugh, Holder. I am sorry you’re still sick! Sorry I didn’t get back to you last night, I had a sorority thing. Have you gone to the health center? I’m getting really worried. By the way, I just sent you some soup from a Savannah restaurant. I have no idea if it’s any good, but sounds like you feel so crummy anything warm would taste good.
Is your roommate sick like you? You mentioned you thought you caught it from him. Or Annabelle? Not pointing fingers, but maybe they’ve traveled somewhere in the past few months that exposed them to some disease. Ok, that probably freaked you out. I’m not suggesting you have Ebola, but there are lots of those weird things out there. I’m glad you weren’t the one who stayed in a cabin the other weekend. Then I’d worry even more about a flesh-eating virus. Ugh, that movie still gets me. I do need to re-watch The Sixth Sense. It’s one of those movies that’s still fun even when you know the twist. Can you imagine if real life was like that? If you got to relive things once you already knew “the twist.” Something to think about as you lie there in misery. Ugh again. I so wish I could be there for you. If you need me to come, I will. Remember that.
Sending every healing vibe I have your way,
Fern
P.S. If it’s easier to text or call feel free. I know sitting in front of the computer when you’re sick can be hard.
P.P.S. I know you don’t like to bother your mom, but does she know how sick you are?
21
September 21
Subject: Send a priest
Thanks for the soup. It tasted good. I only wish I would've been able to keep it down. Linda Blair has nothing on me. I've been blowing chunks for the last twenty-four hours, and I'm pretty sure mine sprayed faster and farther than hers. At least it wasn't pea green, but there doesn't seem to be an end in sight. Every part of me hurts. I wouldn’t wish whatever this is on my worst enemy.
My roommate is better. The ass won't even come within two feet of me. Who knew he was such a germaphobe, especially with the way he coughed and sneezed without covering his mouth all last week. I don't think he's been anywhere outside the US recently. He's scared to fly. I don’t think this is what he had, either. It might have started out similar, but my body seems to have created a demonic version.
As far as Annabelle goes, she’s well-traveled but didn't seem sick when I saw her yesterday. In fact, and I know this might sound strange, but she almost seemed happy to see me sick. That's probably just my nausea talking, though.
I went to the health center. The nurse said she thought I had food poisoning. I'm not a genius, but I know food poisoning doesn't start out with cold symptoms. And you know I won’t bother my mom with this. It’s just a cold. Or a damn demon.
Don't send healing vibes; send a priest.
Holder
22
September 22
Subject: No Subject
Holder,
So you haven’t been able to keep anything down this whole time? That’s not good. Have you tried Gatorade or anything like that? That’s what my mom always makes me drink when I’m sick. I’ve done some research, and the only thing that would present the way you’re feeling is a virus of some sort. I know you hate to bug your mom, but she’d want to know. Is there anything I can send you? Is there anything I can do?
Too worried to possibly think of a movie reference,
Fern
23
September 23
Subject: ?????
Holder,
Have you gotten any of my texts or messages? I’m seriously worried, Holder. Please let me know that you are okay.
24
September 30
Subject: Not Alice
I know you're probably out of your mind with worry for me, and I'm really sorry about that. I don't even know what to say. It's honestly taken me some time to figure out how to go about starting this email…
I'm better, so I guess I'll just start with that?
I'm no longer throwing up everything I eat or drink. I no longer feel like a zombie. But, and this is going to sound strange, I don't feel like me either. I don't know, maybe I'm still holding on to a little of the funk I came down with. Or maybe this is something else entirely. I guess it’s too soon to tell.
Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I'm still here.
You know how you're always telling me about your dreams? The ones that involve me anyway. Well, I had one about you while I was sick. It was a little hazy, but it still felt so damn real. Honestly, it's hard to shake it felt so real. A dream feeling real is probably the least of my worries though, right? At least I didn't wake up in a bathroom inside a strange mansion completely naked and with amnesia. It could always be worse.
Anyway, about that dream. In it I was seriously knocking on death's door, and you came to me. Your hair was floating all around your face but I couldn’t feel any wind. I don’t remember now if there was someone with you or if you were alone, but you had this dead serious look on your face like everything you were about to do was going to cost you something. You looked like a damn angel, though. There was a strange glow to you. You told me everything was going to be okay, that you were here to make sure of it. You said you knew I’d do the same for you if ever given the chance. Then you handed me a glass with something in it and t
old me not to question what it was, just to drink. I did. And I swear to you, Fern, as crazy as it sounds, I can still feel the warmth from whatever you gave me in my dream coursing through me now.
Crazy, right? I must have a damn good imagination.
So what does that say about how I view you? Remember, you once told me of the lion tamer dream you had, and you said it probably meant you viewed me as a protector. Obviously, that goes both ways.
I miss you, Fern. Please tell me you're still coming to visit during break.
Holder
25
October 1
Subject: Not that Alice, but maybe this one?
Dear Holder,
I am glad you’re feeling better. I’m not exaggerating when I tell you that I’ve been thinking about you constantly the past few days. Have you been thinking about me?
I’m glad you’re feeling better–oh, I said that already, didn’t I? I haven’t been sleeping much.
That sounds like a rather interesting dream. I was glowing? I made you drink something while promising things would be ok? Maybe it means you look to me for comfort. Was the dream realistic? Did it feel as if I was really there?
Do you remember watching Alice in Wonderland when you were a kid? Not the newer Tim Burton one, but the animated one? I must have watched it a dozen times. I still remember the first time I was old enough to really understand I was supposed to believe Alice had dreamed everything. I refused to believe it. It was real. It had to be. There was no way she could have dreamed up such a fantastic journey. But then I realized something even more important. Even if some of it was a dream, some of it was real. Anyway, what I guess I’m trying to say, is maybe your dream is in some way a reflection of something real? And maybe that warmth you feel… well, you can connect the dots.
I’m hoping I get to come visit. That’s really going to depend on how the next few weeks go.
I’m going to have to start spending more time studying science for the time being. I kind of backed myself into a corner in order to do something really important. Kind of like a trade. Anyway, if I ever take too long replying to your emails don’t give up on me. I’m always here. If you concentrate hard enough you’ll be able to find me.
Don’t go disappearing down any more rabbit holes,
Fern
26
October 2
Subject: Am I Going Nuts?
You'll never guess who called me today. My mom. You know how little we talk. In fact, I don't think I've spoken to her more than once since I left for school. Anyway, she called because she said she had a horrible feeling something bad happened to me. She actually thought I’d died. I told her she was full of it, and I hadn’t died but had been sick with some nasty virus a few days ago. The conversation lasted all of five minutes. All she wanted to do was verify I was alive and okay. I am alive, but I can’t say for sure that I’m okay.
I really do think I died, Fern.
How crazy does that make me sound? I'm not trying to be melodramatic. I truly believe I died the other day and was somehow brought back. Everything is different now. Brighter. Louder. Even things about me are different. My taste buds for one are changing, and I'm not entirely sure that's for the best.
Annabelle seems to think she knows what I'm going through. She said she caught something similar years ago. I have a feeling she’s lying in order to have something to relate to me with other than our love for historical crap. She’s been sort of clingy lately.
I guess on a positive note my roommate hasn't woken to find me covered in an alien-like fungus that’s trying to overtake me no matter how much I suddenly feel as though I’ve been invaded.
I hope you can still make it to visit me, but if you can't I get it. Just don't work yourself too hard, okay?
Oh, and to answer your question–yeah, I have been thinking about you. A lot, actually. At the risk of sounding even stranger than anything else in this freaking email...I feel some sort of connection to you. Ever since my badass dream about you. And, the warmth...I still feel it, but only when I think about you. I don't mean that in some sappy way, either. I mean I actually feel a warm sensation coursing through my blood when I think about you.
It's happening right now.
God, what is happening to me? Am I going nuts?
Holder
27
October 3
Subject: Phone home
Holder,
At the risk of sounding super jealous I’m going to say something. Please stay away from Annabelle. I’ve had a bad feeling about her from the beginning, and this just makes me more certain she’s not who she’s pretended to be. Can you tell me more about the place she took you? You know that ultra secret vampire place? You never did give me details.
Do you remember when I made you watch ET with me? At first you thought it was going to be really outdated, but before long you understood why it’s so good. I’m sure you remember the bond ET and Elliot shared–how when ET was dying Elliot did too. But then they didn’t, remember? I guess what I’m trying to say is there are some bonds that go beyond ordinary beliefs. Also–not all deaths are of the traditional kind. Ugh, I am so tired of having to be extra careful what I say to you about things. How about this for a question… would you still want to know me if I wasn’t who you thought I was? I would still want to know you. Nothing could ever change that. I feel the connection too, Holder. It’s getting stronger and maybe that’s going to make this all easier. Please be careful, and don’t go to Anabelle for help with your appetite. If you need help, I may know someone.
I am going to do everything possible to visit.
Happy to be on any planet with you,
Fern
P.S. See you in your dreams.
28
October 4
Subject: Always
Maybe you’re right about Annabelle. There’s something off about her. She’s nice, but did I mention she’s clingy? You know how much I hate clingy people. She keeps talking about how things between us should be stronger now. She’s worried but won’t tell me why. It’s sort of got me freaked out. I’m not afraid of her, but I do think she might have a freaking screw loose.
The secret vampire bar? There wasn’t much to tell. It was just a bunch of girls wishing actual vampires were there. Definitely not a place Bram Stoker would have seen as a muse. Hell, Dracula would have laughed at it. I didn’t let any vampire brides seduce me while I was there, if that’s what you’re getting at. I had a couple of drinks (yes, one was red before you even ask) but I don’t think anything out of the ordinary happened. Annabelle and I kissed but nothing more. Sorry. I feel like that’s oversharing at this point but assumed you’d want to know.
Annabelle and I haven’t slept together. That’s why her being so crazy doesn’t make sense.
Come to think of it, there is something about the night that doesn’t add up. My roommate yelled at me the next morning for coming home, leaving, and then coming back. He jumped all over me because I woke him up both times, and he was still recovering from the plague he’d come down with. I thought he was nuts. That the sickness was still screwing with him because I only remember coming home once.
What if I went back out again? What if...I won’t even go there because you wouldn’t believe me. It’s seriously insane the train of thought my mind has been on lately.
I do remember watching ET with you. It was a great movie. And, I do think there are bonds that stretch beyond the realm of reason. Fern, I will always want to know you. How could you be anyone besides you? You’re too quirky in your own right to not be you.
Potions & Fangs Page 4