The Pull

by Sara V. Zook

  I glanced uneasily toward my bedroom where I assumed Violet was still in bed. “Yes, it’s true. How’d you hear?”

  “Where is she? Is she here?” Her eyes darted nervously around as she searched for Livvy. When I didn’t answer, she sighed. “I heard it on the radio, okay? It’s all over the news for god’s sake. The woman was practically dead.” She looked me up and down, giving me a disapproving look. “You look tired.”

  “It’s six o’clock in the morning,” I reminded her, not feeling like dealing with more unexpected crap. Beverly had always been a pain in the ass as far as I was concerned.

  “They’re bags under your eyes.” She wrinkled up her nose. “What’s happened to you, Darin?”

  I swallowed and crossed my arms across my chest.

  “How could you do what you did?”

  “What did I do, Bev, that was so awful?”

  Tears came to her eyes again. “You just gave up on everything. You sold all her stuff—all of it. Is there anything you saved?”

  “No.” I wasn’t going to feel bad about it. “I had my reasons, Bev. None of this concerns you. I don’t understand why you’re even here.”

  “She was my friend!” she cried out.

  “People are sleeping!” I hissed. “Keep your voice down or I’ll ask you to leave.”

  “Oh, no. I’m not going anywhere until I see her.”

  “What could you possibly have to say to her after all these years?”

  She narrowed her eyes at me, her wide head and short hair shaking furiously as her temper flared. “I need to see how she is. I want to tell her I’m still here if she needs a friend. I haven’t abandoned her like you have.”

  “This is insane. I don’t need this shit from someone I barely know.”

  She shoved her finger in my face. “You just left. You up and left the home she loved. You left her and moved down here. Did you even go back to visit her after you moved?”

  I didn’t respond. “I have to get ready for work.”

  “Is she here?” Beverly looked around, a wild look in her eyes. “Livvy? Livvy?” she called.

  Violet and Livvy practically ran into each other as they scurried into the living room at the same time. Both of them had disheveled hair, Violet standing with a tiny white robe wrapped around her, Livvy wearing an over-sized sweatshirt.

  “Christ,” I hissed under my breath. I watched Livvy’s eyes scan over my bare chest and felt heat rise in my cheeks before I thrust the feeling away and let the rage return.

  “What’s going on?” Violet asked.

  “Livvy!” Beverly cried out. She ran over and wrapped her arms around Livvy’s small body and clung on tight. “Oh my god, it’s true! You’re really back!”

  Livvy’s blue eyes met mine as she awkwardly patted Beverly’s back. She managed to pull the crazy lady away from her to get a good look at her. Then her eyes softened as she smiled. “Oh, it’s you, Beverly! What are you doing here?”

  “Beverly?” Violet questioned, moving quickly over to my side. She looked chilly, and I knew she was dying to crawl back under those warm covers.

  Beverly turned to look at Violet. She did another look over with her like she had done with me. “Who’s this?”

  “I’m Violet, and this is my house,” she snapped angrily.

  “Your house?” Beverly took a threatening step forward. She had always had this way about her body language where if she wasn’t happy with something, it was almost as if she was on the verge of punching someone, and she was far from a small woman. She was short but stout with a mean look about her. “Do you mean to tell me you’re with Darin?” She turned her head back toward Liv. “What’s going on here?”

  Livvy put a reassuring hand on Beverly’s shoulder to calm her down. “You must’ve been driving all night.”

  “Practically,” she huffed.

  “Let’s go get you some coffee.” Livvy smiled at her estranged friend as she began to lead her toward the kitchen. Her eyes met mine one last time. I could’ve sworn they had a twinge of sadness in them.

  “Well, what a wonderful way to start the morning,” Violet whispered as she got up on tiptoes to give me a kiss. “At least it looks like I won’t have to be the one taking Livvy shopping today.” She grinned then and turned to go back to the bedroom.

  I shoved my hands in my loose jeans, the cool morning air chilling the exposed skin on my chest, back and feet. I stared after Beverly and Livvy. What did I have to feel guilty about? Absolutely nothing. I’d done nothing wrong. I’d even taken Livvy in until she got on her feet again. How many people would do that if they were in my situation? I shook my head. I had to get ready for work or I’d be late. I stomped off in the direction of my room, the guilt I was feeling following close behind.

  ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  Livvy

  “Are you sure you don’t mind taking me?” I had just gotten into Beverly’s car. It was a sedan full of dust and empty fast food containers lying on the floor. She had three kids who were small before. I imagined how big and rambunctious they were now. They were probably responsible for the mess in here. I didn’t care, though. It was so nice to get out of that house and not be around Violet or Darin. I had only been there one night and was already suffocating to death.

  “No, not at all.”

  “You have to be tired, Beverly.”

  She shook her head to disagree. “That coffee really perked me up. Besides, how can I sleep knowing you came out of that coma? I mean, it’s a miracle all right. It’s a crazy, beautiful miracle. I’m just so happy to see you. Do you want to go to the mall?”

  “Um, sure. I need to wear something other than these sweats.” I looked down at the wad of cash Darin had handed me before he left for work. I frowned and shoved it in my pocket. I had to take his handouts, because I didn’t have any money of my own, but I hoped that soon would change and I could pay him back. I had seen the look in Violet’s eyes as he handed over the cash. She hadn’t said anything. She didn’t need to.

  “I’ll say. No offense, but you need a complete makeover. We’ll fix you right up. Don’t you worry.”

  “Thanks. It means a lot to me that you came all this way to see me.”

  She glanced over at me as we drove down the highway. “We were friends, right?”

  “We never stopped being friends,” I assured her, remembering very clearly her personality and how loud and opinionated she was. “Time didn’t stop for me. It’s like I’ve only been away from the house for a little while. It doesn’t seem real that my home doesn’t even exist anymore.”

  Her knuckles whitened as she squeezed harder on the steering wheel. “He was really messed up after your accident.”

  “I don’t know. Seems like he’s moved on pretty well to me.” I was just feeling sorry for myself, sure, but last night’s memory was still very vivid as I still could see Violet wrapped up and entwined with Darin’s limbs. The thought still brought tears to my eyes. I tried to will them away.

  “I’m shocked to see him with that…Barbie.”

  I chuckled.

  “I thought he’d eventually come out of his depression, but he didn’t. He just seemed to be spinning in a downward spiral. I felt so bad for him. He stopped working for a long time. He spent every moment he could by your side at the hospital. Even when they moved you into a home, he was always there. It wasn’t healthy. He wasn’t taking care of himself and dwelled on the could-have-beens. He wouldn’t listen to anyone. People stopped by. He wouldn’t listen. I tried to talk to him a couple of times, but we both know how Darin felt about me.”

  “He likes you, Bev.”

  She let out a boisterous laugh. “Yeah, right. Anyway, it didn’t matter. He was a mess without you, Livvy. It’s was like he’d forgotten how to breathe. He was withering away. Everyone thought he’d die first before you.”

  I raised my eyebrows at this. It did m
ake me feel a little better hearing her tell me how Darin was when I was in my coma, but it still hurt that it didn’t change the fact that he was with Violet now. “So then what?”

  She turned the car around a sharp corner. “I think there’s a mall a little ways from here. I went once with my sister to buy a dress for a wedding out here.” Beverly fiercely blew a stray hair out of her face. “Well, that’s what I don’t get. He just…turned funny. He got angry and started getting rid of your things, the things you two had gotten together. He sold some stuff, gave some away. He wouldn’t even talk to anyone then. Then the house was up for sale. Didn’t take long for someone to scoop it up, and I’d heard he’d moved all the way down here. He just couldn’t take it anymore, I guess. Your memory was too much for him.”

  “So he got rid of everything that gave him a memory,” I whispered, staring out at the road but not really seeing it. My mind was on Darin, how he used to be. He had been so happy and carefree. Had my accident and coma really turned him so bitter?

  “He was sad, I’ll give him that. He mourned you something terrible, but I just thought he was stronger than what he let himself become. And that woman he has now…” Beverly just shook her head in disgust. “What happened? How’d you come to be there with the two of them?”

  “I have nowhere else to go. What choice do I have?”

  “You can come stay with me.”

  I chuckled. “Thanks, Bev. Appreciate the offer, but no. I couldn’t impose like that. How are your kids?”

  “Big and bad,” she replied. “I have a new man. Well, he’s not new, but new to you.” She grinned then, the corners of her eyes wrinkling, and I could tell the thought of this man made her happy.

  “That’s great.” It was hard for me to share her happiness, though, when I felt like such a disaster inside. “I’m really happy for you.” A few tears slid down my cheeks. I sniffled. “Really, I am.”

  Beverly reached over and touched my arm. “Oh, Livvy, I know you are.” She reached over and opened the glove compartment, which was stuffed full with napkins. She grabbed one and handed it to me. I dabbed my eyes with it and then pressed it to my nose. “Listen, I don’t care who this other woman is, he’s still married to you.”

  “None of that matters.”

  “It does. He’s a man. All men are fools, you know that.”

  I shrugged and turned my head to look out of the passenger window. The houses zoomed by.

  Beverly pulled the car over along the side of the road.

  “What are you doing?” I asked.

  She put the vehicle in park and turned to face me. “You’re still married. It does mean something. It means something to Darin, too.”

  “He wants to be married to Violet. The only reason they’re not married is because I was still alive and legally they couldn’t. They were waiting for me to die, Beverly, don’t you see that? Do you know how that feels to wake up and realize that everything you once knew doesn’t exist anymore? Everyone’s been living their lives while I’ve been asleep. My husband’s in love with someone else. My job is gone. My house is gone. I mean, can you really understand what I’m going through here?”

  Beverly’s eyes softened. “No. I won’t pretend I do. I visited you, you know. I would sit and talk to you. You never heard me, did you?”

  I shook my head.

  “None of it matters. It doesn’t matter that Darin’s with someone else. He’s just hardened his heart because in a way, you hurt him.”

  “What? I didn’t do anything to him…”

  She held up her hand, gesturing for me to be quiet. “Just hear me out. You didn’t intentionally do it, but your accident, your being alive but not being there for him—don’t you see he couldn’t take it? He changed after that. Violet helped him get over you, I’ll give her that, but that’s all she has. She doesn’t truly have his heart. The only one who does is you.”

  I closed my eyes and leaned it back against the headrest. “I think you’re wrong.”

  Beverly pressed her lips together and gave me a hard stare. “You can’t give up on him, Livvy. I know you think you’re the one who needs saving here—everyone else in the world thinks so, too—but really, Darin is the one who needs saved. Help him open up his heart again, Liv. He loves you. He always has and always will.”

  EIGHT

  Darin

  “Hi, baby,” I heard Vi say into the phone.

  I pressed my cell up against my ear and looked up at one of my co-workers. I began gathering up some papers scattered on my desk. “Hey. How’s things?” I hurried toward the staircase so I could go outside and get some privacy. I wasn’t able to get much work done today. My mind kept swirling with what was going on at home with Livvy being back and staying in our house. My stomach had been in knots. An old neighbor had shown up and pieces of my past seemed to be beginning to revive themselves. It was too much. I couldn’t concentrate, so the best I could do was pretend I was working. Then again, everyone at work now knew what happened. They also knew I was with Violet, and although no one had directly questioned me yet, I could see their stares—especially the women from human resources—who wanted to know the details going on in the Thorne household. So far I’d avoided them. I was a nervous wreck inside. I hadn’t been able to stomach anything but coffee, and lunch wasn’t looking too good either.

  “Fine.” She didn’t sound fine.

  “What is it? I thought Beverly was taking Livvy…”

  “She did,” she interrupted me. “They’re still gone spending your money.”

  I ignored her insinuation. Livvy needed clothes. I gave her money. Violet had no reason to be so upset about it. “Okay. Good. You have the house to yourself.”

  “Not for long. I just got a call.”

  “Who was it?”

  “The same people who called yesterday and left a message.”

  “Huh? Refresh my memory, Vi, because my mind is on overload right now.”

  She sighed. “The news crew.”

  I growled in frustration as I pushed open the front door to the office building and sucked in a gulp of fresh air. I leaned against the cement wall of the building and glanced around. No one in sight. “Shit. I forgot about that. So she’s doing the interview?”

  “Apparently. They’ll be at our house this evening. So now I have to clean up everything,” she complained.

  “Violet,” I chastised. “The house is fine. What needs cleaning?”

  “Are you kidding me?” she belted out. “There is dust everywhere. I need to sweep. What if they want snacks? What do people feed a news crew? Not to mention I should have some fresh coffee on hand in case anyone asks for that.”

  I closed my eyes. The pit of my stomach felt raw. Who knew life could be this stressful? I was in complete misery here. “I really don’t think anyone’s going to expect you to feed them.”

  “Darin, you realize I have to play a part here.”

  “What?”

  “I can’t believe you’re being so blind to all of this. I’m freaking out here, and you’re acting like this is all perfectly fine and dandy.”

  Wow. Violet had no clue the despair rising within me. My main goal through all of this was to keep her feeling like the center of attention and enforcing the fact that she had nothing to worry about. That was the only way we’d all get through this is if Violet didn’t have a fit. She was a little bit of a spoiled brat, but she was beautiful and kind at heart. She’d uplifted me and made me laugh during a time when I thought it wasn’t possible to ever smile again. She stuck with me knowing I couldn’t offer her my last name for a long time. I could understand she was feeling a little unnerved by everything happening around us now. I had to hold it together so she would.

  “You okay, man?” a co-worker I recognized but didn’t know asked as he walked past me and grabbed the handle of the front door to go inside. “You’re all pale. Looks like you’ve seen a ghost.”

  If he only knew the ghost I’ve seen.

 
“You know, everyone looks at me like I’m some kind of mistress here, Darin. I’ve been with you longer than she has. Just because you two are married…”

  “They don’t look at you like that at all. You’re just feeling paranoid.”

  “Well, whatever. Livvy looks like some kind of saint. Somehow I’m the reason you’re not together. I came between you. I just know it. Did you see how that woman looked at me this morning?”

  “You mean Beverly?”

  “Yes, her.”

  I chuckled quietly. “That’s one of Livvy’s old friends. Of course she’d look at you like that, but it’s me she’s really accusing. Just listen to me, will you?”

  She hesitated for a moment. I could picture her sitting there sticking out that cute lip of hers as she pouted. “I’m listening,” Violet finally whispered.

  “This will all be over before you know it, and we’ll look back on it and laugh. Yes, Livvy is awake again and no one saw it coming, not even the doctors who guaranteed me there was no chance in hell. Yes, I’m still married to her. But it doesn’t mean shit. You got that, Vi? The only one I love is you. The only one I want to be married to is you. We have built a life together, and regardless what situations come our way, we will be fine. Do you hear me?” I could hear her breathing. “Answer me,” I commanded sternly.

  “I hear you. I love you, Darin.”

  I felt a little bit of relief. At least Violet was now calmed down—for the moment that is. “I love you, too. What time is this news crew coming?”

  “Around five.”

  I bit down on the inside of my cheek. “Okay. I’ll be home before then. I got to get back.”

  “Okay. See you.”

  I stuffed my phone back in my pocket and ran my hand through my hair. I was hoping this mess would be over soon. Right now, my life was a complete and utter shit storm.