The Pull

by Sara V. Zook

  “Darin?” Violet called from right inside the door.

  And just like that, the moment was gone.

  I scrambled backward and ran a quick hand through my disheveled hair.

  “Darin, are you home?” Violet swung the door open. Her dark eyes moved from me to Livvy. She put her hands on her hips. “You didn’t answer any of my calls.” She was pouting.

  I exhaled loudly, trying to get my bearings again. I looked over at Livvy. Her back was to Violet. She tugged at the bottom of her shirt to straighten it out. Her face was flushed red, her lips bruised from my kiss.

  “We had some things to discuss,” I stated dryly.

  “Are you coming inside?” Violet demanded.

  “Yeah.” I walked past Livvy, our elbows brushing each other briefly, before I pushed past her and into the house.

  TEN

  Darin

  I pranced around the room. My mind was going a million miles a minute.

  “Wow, you look…great.”

  I looked up to see a crooked smile on Violet’s face. “Really?” I glanced down at myself. Black dress pants and a white collared shirt unbuttoned at the top. I had been tugging at the ends of my hair, a habit I did when stressed, and stressed I definitely was. I turned toward the mirror. I guess I did sort of look like some sort of model or something, all dressed up with a rough look to me. Not really what I was intending, though. “Thanks,” I mumbled.

  Violet was standing there with her straight hair hanging loosely behind her, her hands on her hips in a tight black dress, her eyes on me.

  I raised my eyebrows. “If you think I look hot, you should check yourself out. You’re going to turn a lot of heads tonight.” Tonight...that was the problem. Violet was feeling suffocated in her own home. It had been a few weeks since Liv had been living in our home. There was a thick tension hovering in the air. The level of discomfort was enough to make me want to go running to the hills, but no one spoke about the huge elephant in the room. We just let it linger there, ignoring it. Not to mention the hippopotamus standing behind the elephant, the kiss I’d shared with Livvy. I put my fingertip to the edge of my lips as if trying to recreate the feel of her hot breath on my face. Then caught up in the memory, I slapped myself in the forehead. What an idiot I’d been.

  “Darin?”

  I blinked a few times. I looked over at her. She’d flipped her hair over one shoulder. I was back in the present again. I raised my eyebrows.

  “Are you okay?” She gave me a strange look. “You just hit yourself…”

  I let out a nervous chuckle and pulled back my sleeve to reveal my watch. “Are we late? We’d better get going. I don’t want to be late,” I rambled.

  The truth was I didn’t want to go. I didn’t feel right about it. The knots growing inside me had my guts feeling like they were literally being twisted and squeezed. I was even down eight pounds or so. I had immersed myself in work since the incident with Livvy. I didn’t want it brought up in conversation with her. At the same time, I felt like I didn’t want to face Violet either. I didn’t want anything to do with either one of them right now. I was being a coward. I would lie awake at night and think about kissing her—my wife. I mean, my god, she was my wife after all. That didn’t make it right, though. I had decided years ago she wasn’t coming back. I was with Violet now. That was before, though…before there was any chance of Livvy returning to me. It was enough to make a man want to scream aloud. I tried convincing myself that it was okay I’d kissed Liv. It felt okay because I’d been with Livvy before. It wasn’t like she was a new woman in my life. She wasn’t just a fling that had turned up years later. It was Livvy. She still had my last name. Then when I’d look at Violet, I’d feel guilty. Her body lying next to me at night was a constant reminder of what I’d done. I’d betrayed her, told her there was nothing to worry about. Was there something to worry about, though? It was only a kiss. Then again, there shouldn’t have been any physical contact of any kind. I considered myself a strong man. I shouldn’t have been weak. I’d allowed myself to succumb to that kiss. Hell, I’d initiated the damn thing. But at the same time, I felt guilty going out with Violet tonight. Livvy would know we were going out for a date. I knew she’d feel that sting, and the guilt lingered. Damn it. This situation was so screwed up. I didn’t know if I’d be able to live through it. Another grinding knot formed in the pit of my stomach. I wanted to dig my knuckles into my core to try to relieve some of this pressure. Men that cheated, I supposed they probably didn’t have the same two women living under the same roof. I doubted they were engaged to one and married to the other, either. Hats off to the ones that could actually pull something like that off. I sure as hell felt like I was going insane with this balancing act, and my emotions were all over the place.

  “Let’s just get this over with,” I mumbled under my breath.

  “What?” Violet asked, her head down as she searched for her purse through a pile of clothes on the floor.

  I shook my head. “I said are you ready?”

  She found the purse and held it up with a grin on her face. “Ready. I could really use a drink.”

  I sighed. “Yeah, me too.”

  I grabbed my car keys and wallet and headed out of the bedroom and into the kitchen. I was almost to the front door when I stopped dead. I could feel the heat of her stare boring into my back. I stood up straight in hesitation.

  “You two sure look fancy.”

  I swallowed, dreading turning around but knowing I must.

  “Going out?” Livvy asked.

  Violet snarled. I didn’t have to see her roll her eyes to know she had done so. “We need a little alone time.”

  I could see the hurt in Livvy’s eyes as I turned to face her. It was a look I was beginning to become accustomed to. I’d never hurt her before while we were dating or married, but now, I was a constant disappointment. A stinging sensation hit me right in the middle of the chest, weaving its way up into my throat, sucking the breath right out of me. It was no wonder I was losing weight. My appetite was gone.

  “Oh,” is all that came out of Livvy’s mouth.

  “Don’t wait up,” Violet added, digging the knife in a little more.

  I whirled back around and opened up the front door, sucking in a gulp of fresh air and then another as I made my way outside. I practically ran to my car and braced both arms on the steering wheel for a second while Vi caught up with me.

  “Everything okay with you, Darin?” she asked, climbing into the passenger side.

  “Uh-huh.”

  “You’re acting weird.”

  “I just feel a headache coming on. Who are we meeting with again?” I didn’t feel like socializing tonight. I’d rather just be alone at a bar with a shot sliding down my throat with another one in my hand.

  Violet put on her seatbelt and opened up her purse. “I have some ibuprofen in here.” She dug around for a few moments as I backed out of the driveway. “Just Maria and Scott.”

  That’s right. Maria and Scott. Maria was Violet’s older sister, and Scott was her husband. Maria and Violet were knee deep in our wedding plans. They were probably even more engrossed in them since Livvy waking up. Just what I wanted to talk about—another wedding. I wasn’t going to be very good company tonight. I was out of it as it was. The guilt alone was enough to kill a man. I wanted to drink until I either a) passed out or b) completely forgot about the position life had placed me in. I put the vehicle back in drive and glanced toward the large living room window. I’d been expecting—and scared to death—to see Livvy’s face standing there peering out at me, but she wasn’t there. I pressed my foot down on the accelerator and put some distance between myself and at least one of the women in my life.

  “Here,” Violet said as she shoved some pills into my hand. “Take these so you feel better.”

  I popped them in my mouth and swallowed. “Thanks.”

  Maria and Scott were already seated at a table with glasses of wine in hand when
we arrived at the restaurant.

  “I thought I’d start early,” Maria said with a devious smile. Her hair was a shiny black and pinned back away from her face. Scott chuckled beside her. Scott pretended he was some big shot with his cheap suit and showoff attitude, when in reality, the guy had a brain the size of a fly. And Maria, she didn’t seem to have a sympathetic bone in her body. She had to have it her way or no way at all, and that’s where I felt she was a bad influence on Violet. Violet definitely had her own stubbornness about her, but she took her sister’s opinion in high regard, and when Maria voiced something she thought should be happening with the wedding, Violet took it to heart and wanted it done. In a way, Violet was Maria’s little pet. It annoyed me. I wasn’t particularly fond of Maria or Scott, but I had been tolerating them for years, for Vi’s sake.

  Violet opened up the menu to browse it. Her eyes floated my way after a few moments. “What are you having, Darin?”

  I shrugged. My own menu still remained closed in front of me. “I’m not that hungry. I might just have some drinks instead.”

  I caught Maria’s eyebrows shoot up. “Bad day at work, Darin?” She grinned.

  “Something like that,” I mumbled.

  “Well, I’m getting a steak,” Scott rattled off. “I’m starving.”

  “Here, Darin.” Maria shoved the wine my way. “All yours.”

  I nodded to her and poured myself a glass.

  “Have you had enough time to look over the menu?” a young male waiter asked, approaching us.

  I listened to the others order their steak, chicken, and salads.

  “What can I get for you, sir?” he asked me last.

  I picked up the menu and handed it to him. “Double shot of vodka, on the rocks.”

  His eyes lingered on me for a moment longer than necessary before forcing a smile. “Very well. I’ll put those orders in for you.”

  Violet gave me a look of disapproval, which I ignored. I wondered what Livvy was up to at this moment back at the house. Another pang of remorse hit me, and I squirmed uncomfortably in my seat.

  “So, have you had a chance to talk about things yet?” Maria asked, folding her hands together on the table.

  I turned toward Vi. “Talk? About what?”

  “I’ll take that as a no,” Maria added.

  Scott chuckled while he sipped his wine.

  “Well, no,” Violet replied quietly, her eyes moving downward as if she were hiding something.

  I strummed my fingers on the table.

  “Here’s your drink, sir.” The waiter set down a glass in front of me.

  “Thank you.”

  He nodded and was off again.

  I put the cool glass to my lips. The vodka was strong and made me want to make a face of disgust as it settled on my tongue, but somehow I was able to refrain.

  “I’ve been discussing the divorce with Maria,” Violet continued.

  “Divorce?” I asked, running my hand through my hair.

  “Yours and Livvy’s,” Scott said as if he were reminding me.

  I glared his way. “Yeah, I was able to assume that much, but thanks, Scott.” My sarcasm sounded heavy and insulting, but whatever. I put my glass up to my lips.

  “Maria knows someone,” Violet continued.

  “Someone?” I asked.

  Maria huffed out a laugh. She tossed her hair behind her back and straightened her posture. “I know this great attorney, Darin. He’s dealt with a lot of divorces, and I think he’d be perfect for your situation.”

  “And what exactly is my situation, Maria?” I snapped.

  “Darin!” Violet chastised.

  “I’m just curious,” I went on, “because the last time I checked, wives springing up out of comas doesn’t just happen to everyone, so don’t say it so casually as if my divorce would be just like everyone else’s.”

  Maria’s eyes slanted as she narrowed them. “I didn’t mean it like that, Darin, and you know it. This is a tricky situation, and I just want you to have your bases covered to ensure a prosperous future financially for you and my sister.”

  I shook my head. “You know damn well I make good money, Maria. I make enough so your sister doesn’t even have to work. Livvy isn’t the type that would drain me or take me for everything I have. Hell, she’s the type that wouldn’t want a god damn penny.”

  Scott’s wide mouth spread into a smile. “Well, that’s good then, isn’t it? Maybe you won’t have to spare a penny to her, then.”

  Violet placed her hand on top of mine. I jerked away from her. “I’ll make sure Livvy’s taken care of, and honestly, it’s none of your business, is it?” I turned to Vi then. “Is there a reason we’re even discussing this with them?”

  Violet frowned. “I’d just been talking to Maria about it, Darin, and she mentioned this great lawyer.”

  “We don’t share anything anymore. There’s no furniture to split up, no children to fight about custody with, nothing. Is she bothering you that much that you want to push divorce on her after what she’s been through?” I knew Maria and Scott were listening, but I didn’t care. Violet hadn’t mentioned this to me at all. I felt trapped in a corner I didn’t want to be in.

  “It’s not healthy to have her living under the same roof as Violet,” Maria butted in.

  I put up my hand to silence her. I raised my eyebrows at Vi.

  Violet’s eyes clouded with the moisture of tears. “I just want her out, Darin,” she whispered. “She seems healthy enough. It’s been a few weeks. How long do I have to endure this torture in my own home? I mean, we can finally get on with our life together. We can finally get married if you get a divorce.”

  I studied her face for a second. It was rare that Violet would ever shed a tear, and to see one fall from the edge of her lid and glisten down her cheek, it took away the anger that had been building up this evening and turned into the realization of what exactly I had been putting Violet through. She had been tolerating Livvy living with us. She was uncomfortable from the tension—we all were, but I’d been more focused on myself and pitying myself than realizing how this was tearing her apart inside. All we’d been talking about the last few years was our wedding. I couldn’t take that away from her now. She wasn’t being mean toward Livvy, she was just taking this step forward as a chance for us to move on. After all, that’s what we’d been waiting for all this time, a chance to be able to put Livvy behind in the past to be able to move forward with our future.

  I reached for her hand under the table. She didn’t pull away but instead ran her fingertips across the top of my knuckles.

  ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

  “Goodnight, sis, Scott.” Violet reached over and gave both of them a quick hug and peck on the cheek.

  “Goodnight,” I called out to them as they ducked inside the cab. I stuffed my hands in my pockets as the car pulled away. I was feeling really buzzed from all the vodka. I turned to Violet who moved her body closer to mine. The air was turning cooler and neither one of us had bothered to wear a jacket. “Well, Vi, what’s next? Ready to go home?”

  “Not really.”

  “Well, what else do you want to do?”

  She thought for a few moments, then looked up at me with a devious grin. “Let’s go grab a hotel room for the night.”

  I laughed. “A hotel room?”

  She wrapped her arms around my neck, her hands icy on the surface of my shirt. “I don’t want to go back home tonight. I want to be wild and crazy and loud.”

  I dipped down my head and brushed my lips against hers. “Sounds like we’re celebrating something.”

  “A night away to ourselves without thinking about the problems that await us at the house?”

  I pressed my forehead against hers. “Is that all?”

  “What else is there?” Vi asked, her breath smelling sweetly of wine.

  I put my hands on her ass and pulled
her tighter into me. “I thought we were celebrating the official planning of our wedding. I think we should set a date and everything. What do you think?”

  Violet pulled away from me for a moment, her eyes lighting up in excitement. “Do you mean it, Darin? I thought you were angry about the whole divorce thing.”

  My entire body shifted to the left for a second, bringing Vi with me as the alcohol caught me off balance. I laughed aloud and attempted to straighten myself upright again. “There’s been a lot on my mind lately, but I think you’re right, it’s time to get this whole thing over with. Why prolong it? We’ve been waiting all these years to get married, and now we finally have our chance.”

  “Oh, Darin!” Vi squealed. “You have made me so incredibly happy! You have no idea!” She stood on her tiptoes and kissed me over and over as vehicles drove by on the street beside us.

  “Now then,” I said, “I believe you mentioned a hotel room and something about wanting to be loud…”

  Violet burst into a fit of giggles and pulled me in the direction of my car.

  ELEVEN

  Livvy

  The night’s lack of sleep was wearing on me. I woke up to a quiet house. Darin wasn’t up making his usual ruckus in the kitchen. No, he and Violet hadn’t come home last night. That made me even more irritated. It was as if Darin had to sneak off with Violet to be with her as if he was hiding it from me. Did he think I was stupid? They still slept in the same bed every night. Nothing had changed after he kissed me except for the fact that he was avoiding me more. Did he think I was going to blab to Violet about it? I had no idea what was going on inside that head of his. All I knew is how I felt—miserable. It was foolish of me to let myself become so vulnerable. That kiss had destroyed me, and I shouldn’t have even let it happen. Darin wasn’t falling for me again. He was testing the waters, and it was obvious I failed the test. He still wanted Violet more than me.