Zach (Torey Hope: The Later Years #3)

by A. D. Ellis

Zoey grabbed the flowers she’d purchased on the way.

  She paused at the gate. Her gaze traveled over the cemetery. Zach watched her as she took a deep breath before reaching over to take his hand.

  “There it is. It looks to be the newest one.” She nodded her head toward a brown mound of dirt. No grass had grown over it yet, just sporadic weeds.

  When they reached the plot, Zoey stopped short.

  “Zach, this is the saddest thing I’ve ever seen.” Tears choked in her throat. “If this was a member of our family, it would be seeded with grass already, and overflowing with flowers and tokens of our love.”

  Turning a tear-stained face toward him, she continued, “He lived alone. From the little I know of mental illness, he had to be completely overwhelmed trying to sort out the loneliness he lived in, and the contradicting voices in his head. And from the looks of this gravesite, he had no one to love him. Did anyone even come to see him buried? Or did some cemetery worker just drop his casket into the deep, dark ground?”

  Her voice edged louder, more agitated. When he tried to put his arms around her, she shrugged away from him. Walking to the small, non-descript headstone, she brushed the dirt from its base. Tracing fingers over the Durgess engraved on the stone, a small sob escaped her again.

  Walking close, Zach knelt down next to her.

  “Zoey Belle, he tried to hurt you. He wanted to hurt me. Don’t feel bad for him.” He was having a hard time wrapping his head around her reaction to seeing her attacker’s grave.

  “I know, Zach.” Shaking her head sadly, she stood up. “I think that’s why I’m having such a hard time here today. When I saw the way he lived, and now I see his sad, solitary resting place, my mind and emotions are a jumbled mess. I can’t turn them off, they keep ramming into each other in my head and heart like bumper cars at the fair.” She paced in front of the gravesite, rubbing her temples.

  “Zoey, let’s head home.” He reached for her, meaning to move toward the truck.

  “No, Zach. I need a moment. Don’t go too far, just give me a little space. Please.” She leaned in to kiss him, lips warming as they met. “Thank you. I love you so much.”

  He walked away, settling himself on a visitor’s bench a few yards away.

  Not wanting to pry into her private matters, but unable to stop himself, he strained his ears to pick up what she was saying.

  “Hi, Vincent. I guess I should call you Mr. Durgess. This is so utterly ridiculous, but I can’t stop myself. You attacked me, hurt me, meant to hurt the one man I’ve loved my entire life. Yet, I find myself hurting for you. How can I hurt for you when you hurt me? Insane, right?” She huffed out a small laugh. “Maybe I’d feel differently if you were still a threat to Zach or myself. Who knows? I’m angry with you because you wanted to hurt Zach, which would have killed me. If you were so in love with me, so in-tune with me, didn’t you know that taking Zach away from me would have been as good as murdering me as well?” She stopped suddenly, glancing around at the cemetery. “But, I look around here, and it makes me sad. Where is your family? Where were your friends? What happened over the years to have you living by yourself, with no medical attention to keep your illness in check? You appeared to be very much alone in your life, and now you’re very much alone in your death, and that makes me so very sad. It makes me wonder what your life could have been like if someone had loved you, taken care of you, made sure you had what you needed. Instead, I imagine you were tossed aside. Maybe not as a child, I don’t know the details, but as an adult when bits and pieces of your illness made their way to the surface, did your family and friends start distancing themselves? Is that what I would have done if you’d been my friend or family?” Pausing again, Zoey took a deep, shuddering breath. “Hell, I don’t know what I would have done. So here I am, mad at you for your plans and for scaring me and making me live through these last shitty months. Mad that you planned to hurt Zach. Pissed off that I’m having to do therapy because of you. Even more pissed that I’m actually considering medication to help me sleep because of the nightmares you caused. Yet, my heart is hurting for you too. What if…I think it’s the what if that’s making me crazy. What if you’d went after Zach while I was in California? What if you’d knocked me down those stairs and killed me. What if someone had watched over you and helped you get the medication and attention you obviously needed?” Clearly agitated, Zoey ran her small fingers roughly through her long reddish-blonde hair.

  Stopping, Zoey slowly ran a hand along the top of the headstone. Closing her eyes she whispered what Zach could only assume was a prayer because it was too quiet for him to hear.

  “I’m ready to go.” She gently laid the flowers she’d brought at the foot of the grave. “Goodbye, Vincent, I hope wherever you are that you’re not lonely, and you’re not fighting your demons any longer.”

  Gripping his hand, Zoey let Zach lead her to the truck. The two didn’t speak until they reached his house.

  “Zoey, that was…” Zach started.

  “I know, it was insane. I just stood and talked to a grave. Not only that, I sympathized with my attacker, the man who planned to murder you. But, you know what, Zach? I’d do it again in a heartbeat. I want a nap before dinner at Jack and Judy’s, but tonight I want to talk to the whole family. Today has opened my eyes to a lot, and I’m 100% committed to moving beyond this.”

  She smiled wearily, and led the way to his room. Collapsing on the bed, she murmured, “Cuddle with me while I sleep, and maybe you’ll get a surprise when you wake up.”

  Zach shook his head, which was still spinning with thoughts of what had gone down today. She’d reacted in some ways just the way he’d thought she would. But, leave it to his Zoey Belle to find it in her heart to feel compassion for the man who introduced her to the darkness of anxiety and depression.

  Chapter 19

  He woke consumed with heat. She had obviously slept as long as she wanted to sleep, and now she wanted to play.

  “Whatcha doin’, pretty girl?” He held back the urge to thrust into her mouth.

  Trailing kisses up his torso until she reached his chin, she smiled, “Seems like today was a good milestone for me. It’s like a weight has been lifted. I remember my dad talking about feeling like he was drowning under a dark, wet blanket of blackness, and that’s how I’d been feeling. But something clicked today. I’ll tell you more when I talk to the whole family, but I’m feeling a little feisty right now. By my calculations, we have two hours before we need to be presentable at family dinner.” Leaning it to kiss him deeply, she whispered, “You up for the challenge?”

  She giggled as he thrust his length against her belly.

  “I’m pretty sure I’m up for the challenge after being woken from my nap with your hot little mouth.”

  Several heavy kisses later, Zach pulled open the bedside drawer to search for the vibrator.

  Stilling his search, she shook her head. “Not today, just you. I like to play sometimes, but today is a special day. I want it to be just you.”

  Biting back a moan in a sorry attempt to cover up what they were doing in case one of the other guys was home, Zoey panted as her body adjusted to him.

  When he began to move, tears streamed from her eyes.

  “Shhh, baby, what’s wrong. Are you okay? Should I stop?” Zach stilled above her, his arms shaking with the effort of holding himself up.

  “No, Zach, you’re perfect. This is perfect.” Drawing his head down to kiss her, she sighed. “Ever since the attack, there’s been a piece of me that wondered if I’d ever be the same. But today was the breaking point. And having you make love to me, it cements in my heart and mind that all is going to be okay.”

  They shattered together, slowly floating back to earth. A playfully long, hot, distracting shower later, and they were ready to head over to Jack and Judy’s for dinner.

  **********

  “Oh my gosh, it smells like she made my favorite. This day just keeps getting better and better.
” Zoey grinned up at Zach as he balanced the pan of crispy rice treats on his other hand.

  “I’m glad we made two batches of those. They’ll be gone tonight, and the pan at home won’t last long before demolition. Maybe we should have hidden a couple for ourselves.” Zoey laughed.

  “We can make more. I know how much you like watching me in the kitchen.” He winked at her.

  “Mmm, you are pretty sexy in that apron.” She couldn’t hold back the laughter.

  Pulling her close and nipping at her ear, Zach growled, “Don’t laugh. You’re the one who dared me to wear only the apron.”

  “And oh how I wish I’d been able to sneak a photo of that domestically sexy little display.”

  Pink cheeks, glowing smiles, they traipsed into the kitchen to find the rest of the family.

  “Is that chicken and rice soup, Judy?” Zoey lifted the lid to sniff the soup.

  “Yes, dear. I know you like it, and you’ve been having a rough time of it, so I made it for soup night. Janie is bringing chili, and Cindy volunteered vegetable beef soup. It just seemed like a soup type night.” Judy patted her cheek and leaned in to kiss both of them.

  “Sounds good to me.” Zach winked at the older woman.

  “You have to give me the recipe for this soup. That way I can make it for Zach sometimes.”

  “I’ll write down what I do; there’s no step-by-step recipe, but this soup is easy.” Judy grabbed a notebook to write the information down for Zoey.

  While the rest of the family arrived and the soups heated up, crusty loaves of bread were set to bake. Hallmark and Campbell’s had nothing on Torey Hope.

  Except for one thing.

  “Has anyone talked to Kendrick?” Sawyer asked.

  With a family as big as theirs, it was usual for several extra chairs to have been brought in, and for every nook and cranny of a room to be filled with people.

  The whole room stilled when Sawyer spoke. Jeremiah cleared his throat, and all eyes traveled to him.

  “I’ve been in contact with him. I know where he’s at, but I’ve promised I won’t let it spill for now. But I told him I wasn’t going to keep quiet forever. He knows just as well as you all do that he’d be the one leading the charge if someone else had done what he did, so he doesn’t get to hide away from his family. I told him if he didn’t call me soon saying he was ready to come home, I was bringing you all to him. Just know he misses you all.” Jeremiah smiled half-heartedly.

  Dinner was a fun, boisterous, delicious affair, even if everyone missed Kendrick. When the dishes were cleared, the entire family trooped outside to sit around the fire pit.

  Wine, beer, hot tea, and soda were claimed. A comfortable casualness settled over the backyard.

  Zoey stood. Rubbing her hands on her pants, she looked at Zach and smiled. He nodded at her, silently encouraging whatever she had on her mind to say.

  “So, I feel like I owe you all an apology and an explanation.” She started, only to be cut off by The Captain.

  “Zoey Belle, you don’t owe us a damn thing.”

  “Thanks Captain, but let me finish. I feel like I owe an apology and an explanation, but I also know that the best thing I can do for all of you is to get me back to being me.” She took a drink of her hot tea. Having everyone’s attention, she sat back down next to Zach.

  “You all know that Vincent Durgess attacked me. You’ve heard the police information about his infatuation with me, his mental illness, and his plans to harm Zach. Today I went to see his house. And I went to visit his grave.”

  When murmurs traveled through the group, Zoey paused for more tea to let the family absorb that information.

  “I’m mad at Vincent, but I also hurt for him. He was a very lonely, very sick man. He didn’t have the love and support that we have in this family. He had no chance against his illness, because he had no one to love him and help him. I’m relieved he’s gone so we don’t have to worry about him harming us, but I’m sad that he was so alone. I’ve felt what it’s like to live under that blanket of darkness, and I know a lot of you have as well. I can’t even imagine what life would be like to live with that blackness day in and day out, with no end, no help, no loving arms to wrap you in a hug.”

  Tears were flowing freely, but Zoey continued.

  “I will get through this, and today proved that to me. I have too much to live for. I don’t want to be in that forever blackness like Vincent was. I’ll go to therapy, I’ll even ask for the medication if it will help me relax and free me from the nightmares. But I won’t shrug off the love and support that I have available to me in this family. People like Vincent Durgess don’t have the privilege, but I won’t waste it. I’ll heal and recover. For Vincent and every other person who may have had a fighting chance if only they’d had the family I have.” Reaching for Zach’s hand, she went on. “When this first happened, I feared it would change me. But today I realized it’s okay if it changes me, as long as I let it change me for the better. This dark period has made me more open to recognizing the greatness I have in my life. So, yes, I may change, but it’s okay. Change isn’t always bad. Changing is growing and growing is natural. I just don’t ever want to grow away from those I love.” Taking a deep breath, Zoey smiled at her family, “So, thank you all for being you. I don’t want to think what it would be like trying to survive this without you all by my side. I love you.”

  Tearful, happy, warm hugs were given all around. When the night wound down, Zoey told Zach she wanted to go to her house for the night.

  “I want to talk to you, since I seem to be in a talkative mood today. But I want to do it in my room.” Leaning in, she kissed him deeply.

  “Get a room, yuck.” Asher’s disgusted voice startled them as he brushed by.

  “Yeah, let’s get a room. My room.” Zoey winked. “But, I think Mom and Dad wanted us to go somewhere with them first.”

  **********

  Kyle and Josie had made a phone call earlier in the day to make sure he’d be home. Driving up the expansive driveway to Jason’s home, Zach just shook his head.

  “I guess growing up with money and privilege could probably make most anyone a douche bag.” He had never liked the guy, but he had to admit he was eternally grateful that Jason had been in San Diego to save Zoey from Vincent.

  Walking to the door, the two couples held hands. Zach watched Kyle and Josie as they walked in front of him and Zoey. He’d never really dwelled on it, but Zoey was almost a clone of her mom, both physically and personality-wise. He knew Josie had overcome a lot in her past, and it gave him complete faith in Zoey being able to heal from her ordeal.

  Watching Kyle playfully slap Josie’s butt, Zach secretly smiled. He looked forward to growing as a couple with Zoey the way her parents had over the years.

  Leaning in to whisper in Zoey’s ear, he joked, “I hope we’re as sexy and cool as your mom and dad when we have grown children.” He chuckled as she rolled her eyes.

  When Jason met them at the door, Zach wasn’t sure what to expect. Would the man be back to the pretentious jackass he’d been before the attack?

  It was immediately evident that Jason had changed. His clothes weren’t as uppity, his smiled seemed more genuine than Zach had ever seen it, and Zach didn’t feel the urge to throat punch him.

  “Mr. and Mrs. Martin, please come in. Zoey, Zach.” Jason offered a warm welcome. “Let’s go to the kitchen, I have coffee started. I apologize for my parents not being here; they are traveling in Europe for dad’s work.”

  With steaming mugs of coffee poured, Josie dropped Kyle’s hand and walked to Jason. Drawing him into a hug, she spoke sincerely, “Jason, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart. Thank you for saving our girl, and thank you for being by her side until you could get her home to us. Please share the contact information of your father’s colleague so we can thank him for the use of his plane.”

  Jason humbly stepped from Josie’s embrace, only to have Kyle grip him in a tight
hug.

  “Jason, I wasn’t thrilled with you when I found out Zoey was shitfaced at your party a few years ago. But, all joking aside, you’ve completely redeemed yourself. Thanks so much, the words are inadequate, but they are heartfelt. Please know you’re welcome in our family anytime.”

  Zoey walked to Jason. “Part of my nightmares include what would have happened had you not come looking for me in that stairwell. I have to believe that God put you in my life as a classmate all those years ago so that we’d have the opportunity to travel to San Diego together for the symposium. He knew I’d need you.” Leaning in to kiss him on the cheek, Zoey wiped her tears and whispered, “Thank you.”

  Jason blushed. “I’m just glad I could be there to help.” He cleared his throat, battling what appeared to be his own tears. “I have to admit my own nightmares revolve around what would have happened, but also how I could have saved you from the attack altogether if I’d not invited you to that stupid sushi dinner. I was trying to show off, impress you, and you got hurt because of my asinine thought of stealing you from Zach.”

  Zoey started to correct him, but Zach jumped in. “Man, if you hadn’t invited her to dinner, she would have been alone. Who knows what Vincent would have done? Don’t dwell on the what ifs. You saved my girl, stood by her when we couldn’t, and brought her home as quickly as possible. No question, you went straight from my douche bag list to my stand-up guy list in ten seconds flat.” Zach reached out and shook his hand, pulling him into a hearty half hug.

  After a little chit chat, the foursome walked to the door. Before walking into the evening, Zoey turned and laid her hand against Jason’s cheek.

  “This new Jason is a good look on you. You don’t need to impress people, just be the great guy I know you are deep down.”

  Jason ducked his head, but nodded in agreement before shutting the door.

  **********

  She sat at her mirror, sighing as Zach slowly drew the brush through her hair. He kept his touch soft, working through tangles gently, and massaging her scalp.