"Fuck," I hear Downey cursing as he begins to freak the fuck out.
Stepping into the chaos, I blow a cloud of smoke into Downey's face, "let's make a deal."
Scrubbing his hands over his scruff brown beard, Downey acknowledges he is ready to hear me out. "We help make you the new Prez and you give me all you know about Benji. Don't think too hard; we ain't got all damned day." He takes a mere moment to assess the situation and thinks over his choices briefly.
Without hesitation, he looks me directly in the eyes, "San Antonio, Benji, a woman, some guy Raccoon or something like that and a kid. No address; just know that is where they stay. We get straight from them, they deliver, and we pay. Simple as that."
"Alright, how'd this deal get hooked up?" Romeo flashes his gun, letting him know not to get any ideas.
"Ask your president, him and Miller set it up years ago. Now that's all I know. What are you going to do for me?" His face goes serious Downey isn't fuckin' around either.
"Blaze will attest to the fact that Miller and that ugly motherfucker got in a heated debate. The lieutenant shot Miller, so Blaze shot him in defense, you didn't know what was going on so you knocked Blaze out. You become prez, we keep our shine deal and you let me know any information you get on Benji." Not a solid story but it is all we got to go with.
**
Out at the bar Romeo walks over to LL, whispers something in her ear. She smiles and hugs his neck. I'm glad to see the two of them get over their shit. If I had put an end to Hook and his games years ago that could have been me and Red, getting our happy ending. But in my life there is no happy ending, there is hurt and despair.
After attending choir with the Disciples and Blaze, preaching his side things with the club is settled. Blaze and Romeo are heading home to Drag Creek with LL. I am headed to Texas; the time has come to make Benji pay. It's time for Sarah to come home and be where she belongs—with her sister.
**
Texas
Sarah
My legs are weak and feeling unstable, my middle hurts. I finally started my period; well that's what Betty said it was. I can't remember anything after Betty sticking up for me, it is all a blur. Now when Squirrel looks at me he has this weird grin on his ugly tattooed face. He looks at me, as if he knows a secret about me and I don't like it, he gives me the willies.
"Pack what ya can, we gotta' go right quick. You know how your daddy is." Betty winces as she bends down to get my duffle bag. She still hasn't recovered from the beating Diablo gave her. He says Grim is coming for me, but I don't wanna' run. I wanna' stay right here. I hope he finds me. I hope he kills us all.
"I don't want to go Betty, why doesn't daddy just kill Grim? Is he scared of him?" Distracting Betty with my pointless questions, I take the last book Betty gave me and stick it under the crate. If Grim is really coming for me, I want him to know he was close.
Chapter 5
San Antonio, Texas
Grim
Place is empty, must have skipped out days ago. Motherfuckin' Disciples must have warned him, should have fucking known better than to trust them. Kicking an old crate in the living room of this dinky house, there is a book underneath it. The book itself doesn't catch my attention but the picture that is sticking out from it does. Bending down I pick the book up and look it over. "Vampires," I laugh under my breath. Betty used to read these, haven't thought about that crazy bitch in years. She gave one hell of a blowjob though. Flipping the book open the picture falls out onto the floor and Red, my heart, stares back up at me, her memory haunting me.
Now I know I am on the right track. Bending down I take the picture in my hands, studying it I see her arms wrapped lovingly around the bump in her midriff. This must be her pregnant with Sarah. Red is smiling, was she happy with Benji? Did she lie to me about him; was she playing me? Nah, I can't believe it.
A quick search through all the rooms doesn't turn up anything else, but this picture, I grip it bending the edges, this proves Benji was here and hopefully Sarah too. After canvassing the neighborhood and turning up empty, I know that there is nothing more to be done in this town. As much as it pains me to say it, there is nothing more I can do here, after putting in a call to Romeo to have LL reach out to her girls in Chicago for information I hit the road again.
**
Another city, another nameless whore sucking my dick, everything looks and sounds the same, and yet I can't get that feeling again. The feeling I had with Red, that feeling that made me feel alive, like I mattered. She loved me despite all the ugliness that I carry with me both inside and out. Red didn't care that I had murdered hundreds, that I wasn't capable of giving her a white picked fence, with sunshine and roses, she loved the gritty and rawness I gave her. That love she gave me in return was motherfuckin' beautiful; and that's what keeps me going—what keeps me pressing forward night after night in search of the one thing I promised her, a good life for Sarah.
"What are you doing?" I look over and this whore has the nerve to be parading around the room in my cut, no one touches my cut.
"Don't you think I look hot?" She smiles a wide a toothy grin, her auburn hair frames her tiny face. She straddles my lap as I toke on my joint and offer her a hit. Her pussy grinds over my dick.
"I think you had better take it off."
"Why is that," she coughs, blowing smoke in my face.
Wrapping my fist through her thick mane, I growl in her ear, "Because I am through with you." Shock at my brutal honesty registers on her face, her playful smile fades. "Sweetheart, you didn't think one roll in the sack would get you a brand did you? You did that's real cute and all, but you aren't top bitch material. In the future, you may want to think about learning how to suck dick better. I've seen better action out of a fucking Hoover."
Her hand goes up and she hesitates giving me a chance to grab her wrist before she makes the mistake of smacking me. With my other hand I help her shrug off my cut, her perky little titties don't do a damn thing for me. A tear pricks in the corner of her eye, "Don't take it personal, you aren't my type." I smack her on the ass as she grabs her clothes off the floor. "I prefer my women with some curves on them." I take a twenty from my wallet on the nightstand and throw it in her direction, "here get ya a cheeseburger, might help with them curves."
"You're a real asshole," she spits her words at me as if she can insult me.
"Never said I wasn't." I laugh as she slams the door with unnecessary force.
My phone rings and it's Foxie's name showing on the screen, don't want to talk to her, but I answer in case it has to do with Baby.
Grim: Speak to me.
Foxie: When you coming home?
Grim: Can't rightly say, something wrong?
Foxie: Nothing other than the usual shit. I was thinking of you. What are you doing?
Grim: Breaking hearts, nothing new.
Foxie goes silent on the other end of the line, not sure what she expects of me or wants from me. She knows there will never be anything between us; I don't know why she tries to force something that isn't there. Sure I care about her, but that's just it I care for her, don't love her. Besides, she is my best friend's wife.
Grim: Is that all, you heard my voice. I'm fine. Got shit to do, tell the kid I'll bring her a present when I roll back through.
The line goes dead without another word from Foxie. Time for some shuteye I have a long drive tomorrow, heading to Nevada, got a tip that Benji has a cousin out that way.
Southern Alabama
Sarah
We have been in Alabama for almost a month now, and got a real nice place to stay. We live near the coast. Daddy has even been letting Betty take me to the beach some. He is being nice and it is weird. He and Uncle Squirrel even hung me a tire swing. Diablo says I can't go back to school, says it just isn't safe yet. Our neighbor let Betty and I use her car to go into town. Betty bought me a new bathing suit and a bra; she made me promise not to tell daddy, said she had some money put back just for the
occasion.
Daddy and Squirrel are working for a new club, says they are really going to make some money now. They have a garage out behind our new house, I don't know what they do in there but it can't be good if they have to have masks on to go inside. I think Betty and me are getting more free time because they have to spend so much time out back, I am not complaining though, going to enjoy it while I can. When it comes to my daddy, you never know how long his moods will last.
I am in the kitchen helping Betty cook dinner; it feels almost like having a real mom and a real home if it weren't for daddy and Squirrel. "Betty can I ask you something?"
"As long as it isn't something you know you aren't supposed to be asking, your daddy has been in a good mood. Let's try to keep it that way." She continues pressing the patties for burgers.
"Did you come in my room last night?"
Betty stops her work abruptly and takes as deep breath. "No child, what gave you that impression?" She is looking at me with concern, but trying not to show me my question makes her nervous. Betty has never been very good at hiding her emotions.
"Maybe I imagined it, but late last night I heard a noise and there was someone standing at the foot of my bed, but I couldn't make out who it was. It was too dark. You don't think it was Grim, do you? Daddy says he got too close this last time."
"No baby, if it were him we'd all be dead. I want you to do something for me, are you listening?" I nod so she will continue. She gets a real serious look on her face. "If anyone comes into your room again, I want you to scream as loud as you can, and if that doesn't stop them, here take this." She reaches me a steak knife. "I want you to put this under your mattress where you can reach it right quick, but don't hurt yourself."
"Okay Betty," I do as she says and I take the knife to my room. Not sure how she thinks this could keep Grim away, but I'll do what she says.
"I wish that door of yours had a lock, I'll see what I can do about getting you one." Betty says when I come back into the kitchen. Uncle Squirrel comes into the house for a shower so I don't continue the conversation. It's none of his business and I still get an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of my stomach when he looks at me.
Daddy comes in shortly after Squirrel and he and Betty go outside to put the burgers on the grill while I stay inside to get the french fries made and make a salad. After Squirrel gets out of the shower he joins me in the kitchen, he comes over to me and stands too close behind me. The smell of his cologne is overwhelming. He places his hand over mine, "here you are cutting it wrong let me show you." I freeze when his tongue brushes over my ear while he is talking to me. He is trying to guide my hand and show me how to chop onions, but I cannot move. My mind flashes and I can feel him pressing his weight on me and I am crying. I feel like I can't breathe, my chest is constricting and growing tight with panic. The room feels like I am on a tilt a whirl at the carnival, but I can't see anything.
I come back to when I feel the blade of the knife graze my finger. Squirrel is sitting at the table reading the newspaper and I am at the counter alone. Betty comes rushing over to me, grabbing a paper towel and wrapping it around my finger. She looks between me and uncle Squirrel but she doesn't say anything. Daddy finishes dinner while she bandages my finger. I can't believe he didn't get angry. He finished fixing the food without a word, even let me eat by myself in my room when I said I wasn't feeling well.
After dinner, I pull out the latest book Betty has given me to read. This one about a princess in Victorian London who can see ghost and communicate with the dead, the main character is a teenager and she is in love with a ghost. This story is tragic and heartbreaking, but I cannot put it down. I keep reading until my eyes begin to blur and water.
Later in the night, I awaken to that eerie feeling as if I am being watched, I rub my eyes and that is when I see him. Before I can scream a rough hand clamps over my mouth. I think back to what Betty told me and try to reach my hand down and slide it under the edge of the mattress. "Looking for this," Squirrel's rancid breath penetrates my nose as he holds the kitchen knife and waves it in front of my face. "Don't be scared Sarah. I just want to show you how much you mean to me. I will always protect you. One day I will take you away from here and you will be my wife." I try very hard to bite his fingers but I cannot get a hold of him.
Tears are fighting to fall down my face, but it seems the harder I try not to cry the more he enjoys my fear. "Now if I let go of your mouth, you got to promise me you'll keep quiet, ye hear me." I nod into his hand. "If you scream, I will hurt you, and I don't want to do that, I just want to make you feel good." My tears stop and I accept my fate. His hands begin wandering my small body and I retreat within myself and begin to sing... One two Grim is coming for you, three four had better lock the door, five six had better tuck you in tight, seven eight never mind it is too late...
Squirrel continues to come into my room almost every night for the next three years, he threatens to kill Betty if I dare to say a word, I don't doubt that he would so I keep my mouth shut like the good girl that I am...
Part 2
Chapter 6
Drag Creek Kentucky
Grim
Tonight calls for a celebration, I just returned home after another six months on the road. The past three years have been the same—me on the road searching for Sarah and life at the Roadhouse moving on without me while I am stuck being haunted by the past. Baby is now in middle school and hates me now more than ever. Can't rightly blame the kid, I have become a stranger to her. And with each passing year, she turns more into the spitting image of her mother. Seeing her is so damn hard and having to face Foxie after breaking her heart repeatedly is even harder. Her and Slim have officially separated and I think a part of her has hoped that I would step up and claim her, but it ain't going to happen. They are still legally wed; she isn't going to give up her title as the prez's old lady to Wild Cherry without another man ready and waiting to claim her.
Slim lives in the clubhouse with Wild Cherry while Foxie stays out of the way, she no longer helps run the Roadhouse, instead she has gone into business with LL running a whorehouse for the club. I hate seeing Foxie whore herself, but isn't nothing I can do about it.
I am so damn tired of this never-ending cycle, it is time for me to give up the search for Sarah, and the girl is nearly sixteen years of age by now. Won't be long til Baby will be in high school herself. I have to accept the fact that I have let Red down and broken my promise to her. The time has come for me to do what I should have been doing all these years—raising my girl and being a father. Don't like the thought of Foxie's lifestyle influencing Baby. The Fox's Den is not a place I ever want to see my daughter. Foxie swears that she only works there during the day when the kids are at school, but fuck, Rebel and Striker are about to graduate, she can't tell me those fucks don't know what goes on around here. That is another thing; I don't like them boys spending so much time alone with Baby. I know what goes through a guys mind at their age; I don't care if they treat Baby like their sister. The fact that she isn't their blood is all the proof I need to make sure I keep her away from them now.
After I clean up I ride over to the cabin to see Romeo and LL, they just had their first child not too long ago.
"Don't know how you do it man; I could never let my old lady work in a whorehouse." Their new baby girl is swinging in one of those baby contraptions, looking so content.
"Easy brother, she don't take any clients, she just runs the shit, and it's good fucking paper."
"I hear you, how's things around here?" I cross the room and take a seat in the rocking chair closet to the door. Romeo has done good for himself. He and LL seem real happy; they fixed the cabin up real nice. Never would know they run a moonshine distillery out of the basement. Looks like any other fishermen's cabin turned home.
"Shit has been good; things are running smoothly, Slim seems to have calmed down without you in his ear trying to run shit from the sidelines." Romeo winks, I know he is jus
t giving me shit. Slim and me settled our issues after I returned from Chicago, we had a sit down meeting. He put all of his cards on the table. He explained that he hooked the Disciples up with the Rejects to get Hook off of our back. He said it was the only choice he had at the time other than a blood brawl over territory and money. I understand now that he was acting on the best interest for the club.
"I need your help with something." It is the real reason I really drove over here, I wanted to see the kid, but I need help getting Baby away from Foxie and her boys.
"Name it; you know I always got your back Grim."
"Need you to hire Baby to help with your kid, tell her you and LL need a sitter. I want to get Baby away from spending so much time with those hellcats of Foxie and Slim's."
"No doubt brother, Baby is growing up fast, and she sure is attached to them boys. I'll do what I can. They are over here a lot though, helping me and learning the business. However, I will do my best. Are you home for good now?"
"Hope so brother, I sure hope so."
**
"Baby, I am coming home for good. I want you to move home with me. We can redo your room; I will paint it any color you like. Just tell me what ya want and I'll get it."
"Just don't expect me to call you dad." She gives me a half smile, and it causes a faint hairline fracture in my dark heart. It feels as though I have blinked and the past thirteen years have gone by in the amount of time it takes a person to blink.
"So show me to my room, so I can start designing it, but I am not moving in until it's finished and I know you are really home."
"Fair enough." I can't really blame her now can I? I haven't been around much. But I am hoping to change that and make things right with her.
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