by J Turbett
He was swimming and he was staring. Why wasn’t he saving her if he could swim so well? She closed her eyes, shut out the sounds, shut out the smells, shut out the light, breathe…breathe…breathe? She was breathing.
Chapter 5
Under the Sea
The girl stared groggily at Finn’s tail, hardly realizing that she suddenly had one, too. He was swimming away from her. Whatever she did was her choice now, Finn didn’t care. He had no desire to take care of her. He had seen her floundering and had intended only to cut her leg loose from the bit of trash that was dragging her down. Unfortunately, it turned out that this American had the gene, the one that made it possible for her to transform, despite the fact that she had been raised human. He hadn’t seen or heard of a transform the past two generations but there she was, staring after him, completely and utterly lost in her new body. He would send someone else back for her. She wouldn’t drown, after all. She could be someone else’s problem, not his.
Behind him, Alice took deep breaths underwater water, somehow filling her lungs not with water but with air. It was insane. It wasn't possible! She stared after Finn, after Finn's tail, a tail propelling him powerfully through the water. As the nocturnal creatures of the ocean swirled about, she could see them as if it were day. Not possible. The words pounded through her head. She must be either delirious or dead. She blinked repeatedly and the world was clear around her. She began tentatively moving in the water. She saw her own tail. She still felt the electricity running through her body, or was that the electricity she was creating herself? This wasn’t real, it couldn’t be.
She screamed. It was strange; it traveled through the water, half scream, half song. Finn stopped in his tracks and turned to look at her. If he was the type inclined to laugh, her predicament would have caused him to, but he wasn’t laughing, it wasn’t funny. He knew that this would turn on him for the worse. A transform, after all this time? He didn't need another maid chasing him. All Finn ever wanted was to be left alone. A shark noticed her and spun away from a scent he recognized. The girl watched horrified, unable to grasp what was happening. He sighed.
Finn started back, against his better judgment. She stared at him, her eyes wide and green while she struggled to use a tail she was unfamiliar with. He stared at her for a minute. She was pathetic. Her eyes were filled with terror.
"Help me." She silently pleaded with her eyes, yet she also moved away from him.
He stared at her and began to circle her. She watched him warily, but it took a couple of passes before she realized that he wasn’t doing it to mock her, but to show her how to use her muscles to move her fin. She looked back at her own tail, then began imitating him, first carefully, then more confidently. The sensation of having only one limb in the water was strange to her. Was she going to be like this forever? No, she had seen Finn on land, seen him with legs. He turned to swim, and she began following. She looked backward, then turned her head again. He had stopped in front of her too close.
She reeled backwards, moving in the way he had shown her, slapping him in the chest with her fin. He narrowed his eyes at her as he moved back in the water. She was moving. That was all that mattered, right? Alice folded herself in the water, touching the very end of her new fin. The surface was strange, slimy. How had it happened to her?
She looked back up to find Finn already swimming away again. She puzzled for a moment. He obviously didn’t want anything to do with her, but what kind of person stranded someone in the middle of nowhere in her situation? She had to make her decision quickly; he was moving fast, his body sluicing through the water like a bird flies through the air.
She could hear sounds, calls in the water: whales, far off. She didn’t want it, she didn’t want any of this. She couldn’t even handle being human and now she was a mermaid? No, I can’t let this be. She thought, No, shut out the sounds, shut out the smells, shut out the light…She cried into the depths of the water. She let the sound of her mantra out, let the emotion fly. Little did she know that all transforms expressed themselves in this way, but no two songs were the same. But hers was so sad, so dark.
“Stop it.” He said, in her head, turning around where he was far off. His eyes flamed furiously, she could see that clearly enough. She stopped. She felt the gills in her mouth and nose filtering air from the ocean. She felt the water press around her, a world she didn't know, couldn't know, but it was safe, it was warm, it was perfect. She found her calm. Looking around her, she saw everything, her mouth hanging open. There were several large predators about. She watched the octopus move on the ocean floor. The shark that had passed her was looking for food, but not her. Alice wasn't prey. She looked up, up at the surface that had seemed so far away only moments ago. She moved upwards, minute adjustments pushed her up faster than she could have imagined. She broke the barrier and the air was all around her. She breathed deep as she hung for moments in the air, arcing above the surface of the water the way the dolphins did. It burned for a second, but she felt the gills adjust, and they flapped closed, reopening when she slipped back under the waves.
Finn grabbed her and the breath fled from her lungs. He was furious and the look in his eyes terrified her. She tried to struggle, but his grip was firm. She looked at him with her bright green eyes, her long, flat hair going every which way. She stared with fear at his hand around her arm. He broke the contact as suddenly has he had come, grimacing like he had touched something filthy. As he swam away again, she got his message. Obviously, he didn’t want her to do that, to be airborne, to be seen.
Finn was tired of correcting her, wanted to leave her behind for good. He had swum too far from the others, and too close to the public shore, and now he was paying for it in spades. There was no one nearby, no one to deal with this but him. What gave this crazy girl the right to be out in the ocean late at night anyway? She was about as smart as a snail to have done that with a storm coming in. But there was nothing to it; she would have to come with him. He swam forward and looked back. There she was, stupidly watching him. He swam forward and looked back again expectantly. This time she understood, and as he swam forward again, he didn’t need to look back. He could hear the swish of her tail as she followed him.
Alice saw wonders of which a human could only dream. It was surreal but it was reality, she couldn’t deny it. Her mind could never dream up the sights she was seeing as she followed Finn’s tail. Part of her hated it, hated that she could breathe, that she could see, that she was still alive.
As far as Finn went, he was more irritable in person than he ever looked in the little diner. His movements making it clear that he didn’t care one bit about her, whether she was following him or not. He headed down, down further than any person could go, into the darkness no human eye could penetrate. It unnerved her as she felt the increasing pressure around her, but Finn didn’t stop. She quickly noticed that, while she could feel the difference in pressure, it wasn’t hurting her. On the contrary, it felt like an old friend was holding her closer and closer. She was certain it was enough pressure to crush a human in an instant, but not her. She wasn’t a human anymore.
A giant eye moved past her, beak and tentacles followed. The creature wasn’t at all unnerved by Alice, but she was uneasy, and astounded at the strangeness of it. The giant squid moved on quickly and Alice had to work to catch back up to Finn. Her muscles were screaming, but she knew she would be lost without him, as terrible a guide as he was. He had passed the giant squid with as much attention as she would have given an ant.
She heard the music quite suddenly and completely unexpectedly. Like the mellow sounds of a cello, the notes moved toward her through the water. So many voices, so much sound, so much mystery; it was speaking to her. It was hard to decipher. She wasn’t even sure that she could hear it all. An eerie light appeared ahead and Alice knew that they were nearing a city. Hollowed stalagmites rose from the ocean floor. It almost looked like a pueblo, but the rocks of this formation were natural. The pass
ageways and holes, however, looked like they had been carved by hands. The area was lit with eerie sources of light which seemed to sparkle all around her. When she looked closely, she realized that there were tiny creatures that were accounting for the light. Some predators, some prey; so much life teemed around her and the music in her head pounded and called to her.
As she could see the creatures, so, too, she saw the other mer. The mer were the source of the songs. Each note she heard was pure emotion, and all the notes combined to tell a story. It was their language, and it was wonderful. Alice knew intuitively that this music was the reason so much life was drawn to the area. Even she felt stronger, in a way, nourished by the sounds.
She looked back at Finn. His eyes were darker, this light softened them a little. This time he was actually telling her to follow him. Not in the way the others were talking, but using the simple gesture that any human would use. She stared at him for a moment, wondering why none of this, in all its glory, touched him. He was growing more irritated every moment that she took to pause. Regretfully, she moved to follow the mer.
She swam beside him in silence. She was nervous around so many, swimming by, watching her, watching him. She watched around her as if she was surrounded by the most exquisite jewels on the planet. She watched in a guarded way, a way that only someone who's seen horrors can understand. He swam through one of the holes and inside waited a female. She was an older mer, and she was rather large. Outside she hadn’t seen many mer that had weight on them, but this woman made up for all of that. She looked at Finn with a smile, a smile tinted with sadness, but friendly and boisterous all the same.
She stared at Alice in a way that made her feel underdressed. There was her bra and there was her tail, she threw her arms across her belly to hide her scars, only now realizing that they were exposed.
Finn pointed at Alice, saying “She’s your problem now,” as he left her with the older woman.
The fat mer nodded respectfully, and Finn turned tail and left in a huff. He was out of sight before Alice even registered the fact that he had left. She was alone with the large woman and felt immensely compromised by the entire situation. She had thought she would go for a little swim alone and now she was in the midst of a city, surrounded by strange creatures she had never seen, some transparent and glowing, others were mermaids; mermaids, something that wasn’t even supposed to exist at all. Oddly enough, the mer seemed the most likely of creatures she could see outside the little city.
The fat mer was staring at Alice again, looking her up and down, judging her.
“Forgive me, it’s been so long.”
Alice flinched. She heard the voice in her head, though she saw the woman’s lips move all the same. The woman didn’t change her gaze. “A transform with mine own eyes. I never thought I’d see the day.” The woman’s gaze changed, and looked beyond Alice. Alice spun in the water awkwardly, only to catch the briefest glimpse of a small face staring the same way the fat mer did. Alice looked back at the fat one. “They call me Misa. Keeper of records for what remains of this clan.”
“How?”
The staring, it was bothering her. Alice spun again, only to see several more tails disappearing. There were people watching her. She turned her face again, and Misa was in front of her, reaching for her hands. She balked at the gesture. Misa jerked her offer of comfort back, regarding the transform.
“How and why are human conundrums. Here, we simply have life.” Misa said, her eyes falling to rest upon Alice’s scars. Alice’s eyes paled and she disappeared into her mind. Life. That was something she had been avoiding for a long time. Now she had a new one that she wanted no more than she wanted the first one.
“Your name.”
Alice stared at the mer, at the way her fat melted into her tail. She heard the sigh come from the woman’s mouth as a song. The mer regarded Alice. She turned and gestured to Alice to follow. Alice followed Misa dutifully. She couldn’t think of what she would do or where she would go. The tunnel they went down was dark, and the way ahead was filled only by the girth of the mer.
Alice stopped as the tunnel opened up into a vast cavern. In spite of herself, her mouth gaped again. It was a grotto as large as a football field, filled with marks, drawings, names. She couldn’t even see where the roof of the grotto lay, but inside the cavern sparkled. Misa was smiling at her knowingly. Alice swam along the walls, ignoring the three other mer in the room to look at some of the drawings. She touched a carving of a mer that had to be countless years old.
“The water can destroy but it can preserve as well.” Misa was right next to her, Alice hadn’t even noticed. “Your name.”
Alice looked up at the woman’s kindly face. She put a tolerable distance between them as she noticed the gap mouthed stares of the other mer in the room.
“Alice Bailey”
“Ah. I’ll have Aria take you home.” Misa began to sing and several other mer took up the call. Alice listened to the song echo around her, it was as if it was calling to someone. When she turned around, the wide-eyed little mer was staring at her.
She was a little girl with a strong tail and wide brown eyes. Her small gangly hand reached out to touch Alice’s face. Alice jerked back before forcing herself to let the girl touch her. She smiled a sweet little smile before moving away so fast that Alice could hardly keep up. The girl swam back and motioned for Alice to follow her with a huge smile on her thin little face.
Alice had so much trouble keeping up with the little girl in the water, and she was so weary. She didn't want to think about any of this now. She didn't even want to be a part of her own people, let alone a whole new society. Alice's world had just gotten a bit more complicated, and she really didn't need it. The little girl was way too happy, and by the time Alice broke the surface again, she landed on a soft beach, breathless.
The little girl was already running into the large mansion on the beach, her quick little tail transformed into quick little feet instead.
The mansion loomed huge over the beach in the moonlight. The storm had strewn debris all over the beach, but the worst of it had petered out. Her tail flopped in the surf. She had followed the girl, she knew where she was, but not what to do, and the mansion was extremely imposing. It felt like the giant windows looking out on the ocean were staring at her. They were so dark and she couldn’t see through them. All Alice wanted to do was lay her head down, close her eyes, just…
The girl poked at her with a towel, looking at her insistently. “What am I supposed to do?” Alice demanded a little too strongly, surprised to hear her own voice again. Aria jumped.
“Your tail will disappear when you are dry,” the girl explained, looking at her feet uneasily. Alice moved herself up further on the beach.
“This is the Caraway mansion,” Alice said, looking up at those dark empty windows.
“Y-yes,” replied the little girl, twiddling her thumbs.
“Shouldn’t I be getting shot?”
The girl gave her a wide eyed stare in response “Y-yer onea us.” Aria said, as if that answered all questions.
It didn’t answer any questions for Alice, and she stared astounded as her tail melted into her legs. The pressure of what she now knew, and how much she didn’t know, began to pound at her head. She looked up, only to see the little girl launching herself into the ocean and swimming away.
The night around her was quiet, as calm as her body was in turmoil. She never should have stepped into the water. She forced herself to her unsteady feet, wrapping the towel modestly around her. Every move she made felt like she was moving through molasses, even though the air against her skin felt light as a feather. Her muscles were bruised and beaten. It was a feeling she was all too familiar with.
Alice’s tail was gone, but she knew it was there lurking, waiting to emerge, waiting make her life worse than it already was. She walked through the sleeping town. She felt like a stranger. The night didn't seem like night anymore, she could see through the
darkness. The bar was closed and quiet, the town was sleeping, no one noticed the girl in a towel forcing herself through the streets at night.
She made it home by early morning, finally. She crept as quietly into the house as she could, feeling more exhausted than she had in a long time. She tiptoed across the wooden floor and into her room; the sky was lightening out the tiny window above her bed. She tossed the towel into a corner and peeled off her wet and ruined bra. She forced herself to put on her pajamas, if only to feel the comforting warmth of the cotton against her skin. The next thing she knew, she was falling into the bed, dragging the covers over her, winding herself in them like a cocoon as her head hit the pillow.
It almost felt as if she were there again down in the ocean with the blankets so tightly wrapped around her, it was comforting and it was vile at the same time but Alice couldn’t care less. As she slipped into sleep she could hear her father stirring, which would make it at least five o’clock in the morning. The waves of sleep pulled her down into their depths.
Chapter 6
Day One
It was so dark and so cold. The water from above poured down on Alice’s face. She looked to the side and saw her grandmother’s face and the fear in her eyes. Bright green eyes, just like Alice’s. Suddenly it wasn’t her grandmother she was looking at, it was herself. She was floating in the water, she was safe. The dark monster from the shadows was there. He was beating at the glass. He was trying to get to her to take his knife and plunge it there in her side, right below her ribcage. She looked down. The scar wasn’t there anymore…but a tail was.
He was stabbing at the glass – or was it ice? – separating them with a knife. She couldn’t even be sure she was in that parking garage anymore. For once, Alice was completely confused instead of terrified. This is a dream, isn’t it? she wondered to herself. Out of the shadows another figure walked, naked and beautiful.