by J Turbett
She walked with an exotic swing to her hips. Her hair was long and black, and her eyes were so dark they might as well have been black, too. Alice wanted to scream at her, “No! He’ll hurt you: you’re naked!” Not a word escaped her mouth, and the woman kept walking forward. There was a hairnet woven into her hair: sea grass and pearls. The woman was small, but her body was strong. Looking back at Alice, she lifted her finger to her lips. Shhhh. Alice heard the sound purr around her in the waters of the ocean, held back only by that thin layer of glass. Suddenly, a chink flew out and the ocean began to drain slowly into the dark parking garage as Brassila advanced on the monster.
His eyes were red as he tried to get at Alice. Behind him, Brassila reached up into her hair to retrieve a blade from hair cascading tresses. It shone in the darkness as the hairnet slipped soundlessly into the water pooling at her bare feet.
Brassila wrapped her arms around the unsuspecting monster and Alice watched him struggle against her. Brassila slid the blade across his throat and blood poured into the water. The woman let go of his body carelessly, letting the dying man slide to her feet as she stepped closer to the glass. She reached out, slamming the hilt of the dagger against the wall of ice.
The ice crumbled into a thousand shining pieces and Alice found the water carrying her toward the decorative knife, but before she knew it, the knife was gone and Brassila’s open arms were embracing her.
They were sitting on the beach together, waves lapping against them, Alice lying in Brassila’s lap. But then it wasn’t Brassila anymore, it was her grandmother. Her grandmother sat with her tail stretched out toward the sea, cradling Alice’s head in her arms. Alice could smell the deep briny salt as the waves caressed them both.
“Grandma?” She smelled her grandmothers’ smell, a smell so familiar, and yet so recent; it was also the smell of the cavern below the waves.
“My dear,” her grandmother replied, smiling at her with that vaguely sad smile Alice knew so well. “You are stronger than you know.”
“I couldn’t do anything. It was Brassila who saved you.”
“Was it?” Her grandmother raised her eyebrows. Alice looked down at her hands where she clenched the shining dagger. Her grandmother reached forward and took the dagger from Alice’s hands, sheathing it in the hairnet Alice wore in her long, unkempt blond hair. Alice reached back and felt it with astonishment, somehow knowing it would be there: the smoothness of the pearls, the taut strands of seaweed woven between them. She looked up at her grandmother, astonished. Her grandmother smiled proudly. “My little Aly.” She leaned down and kissed Alice on the forehead. “It’s time to wake up.”
Alice woke up with the sun pouring across her face, warming her cheek. Blinking, she realized David was sitting in the chair next to her bed, his DS laying on her nightstand. He was watching her with curiosity bordering on concern.
"What are you doing here?" she mumbled groggily. Her head felt heavy, like she had spent the entire night drinking. Every muscle in her body screamed with the pain of an intense workout. She put her hand to her head trying to steady the spinning sensation and focus on her brother instead of her aches and pains.
"I saw you come in last night," David said, suspiciously, as she slowly sat up. She looked at him, her green eyes cloudy as usual. Though David still wasn’t sure how it happened, he knew that the girl who came back from Grandma’s after the funeral wasn’t has sister anymore. She had gone somewhere else and no one could reach her anymore. David was the one who tried to reach her most, but even he was starting to wonder if it was hopeless. But he wouldn’t let himself give up. He hated the fact that their parents didn't seem to do anything about her. They just let her slip away from him, from her friends, from the world.
“You were on the computer,” she finally said, a statement instead of a question. He looked sheepish. She had put him on the defensive, trying to drive him away. She did it so often now, it was a habit, but David just couldn’t get used to it.
"It was a Friday night and I didn't have any homework. It's not like there's anything else to do in this podunk town."
"No." Alice responded hazily.
He stood suddenly, angrily, “At least I’m not out all night drinking, making everyone around me miserable.” He stalked away. His insult didn’t even touch her. She had grown such thick skin, like ice. She threw the covers back and stood, ever so slowly, wincing as she put her bare feet to the floor. She must have stepped on so many rocks coming home, but only now did she have realize that she had come home without shoes.
David slammed the door to his room, the bang soon followed by the sounds of combat, a computer game turned up as loud as he dared without making Mom scream at him. Sarah came up the stairs, biting her tongue when she noticed the video game soundtrack, then deciding to ignore it this time. She was coming to make sure her daughter was getting dressed; when Alice didn’t have work, sometimes she would just lie in bed staring at the wall, and they had made a pact that she would at least put clothes on every day. Before she got to her daughter’s door, Alice emerged, walking stiffly and wearing her flannel pajamas and carrying a towel Sarah didn’t recognize, disappearing quickly into the bathroom.
Though her body was moving stiffly, Alice’s mind wanted to run, just run, until her legs gave out on her or she reached the edge of some cliff. She settled for shutting and locking the bathroom door. The familiar bottle of aspirin in the medicine cabinet was almost empty, but she dropped a few in her palm and threw them back. She stared at herself in the mirror before turning on the shower. Her face looked sallow, her cheeks and eyes sunken into her pale skin. She turned away quickly.
Stepping into the burning water, Alice let it ease the soreness out of her body, waiting for the aspirin to kick in. She stared down at her feet, which were still feet. Was there really a tail there, waiting to appear? If so, when would it? Probably when you least want it to, she thought.
It was noon when she left the shower. Her wet hair hung in a clump behind her head, carelessly dripping on the floor as she walked to David’s room. He didn't turn from his computer; he didn't need to see that face. Sometimes, Alice looked like she was dead, even as she walked around. He didn't want to see it, and he didn't want her to see his face scrunched up so he could stop the tears from falling from his eyes.
“Where’s mom?”
"She went to get groceries," he said.
Alice turned away without another word, and David let her go without a fight.
As Alice slipped her pants over damp skin she realized just how hungry she was. Her stomach rumbled as she crept down the stairs and made a trip to the empty fridge. She sighed, grabbed her purse and decided to go to the diner instead. David heard the front door shut and knew she was going out and hadn’t even thought to tell him where.
The walk to the diner was uneventful, the sun blaring in her eyes. She stared at the ground, letting her hair in fall of her face, hiding from the smiles and stares of the townies. It was maddening: some seemed more friendly, some just watched her, but none of them were interested in who she was. She remembered walking down the street with her grandmother, disarming people with their friendly smiles and waves. Unfortunately, that attitude hadn’t really served Alice very well. In truth, it was part of what had destroyed her. She saw the glass breaking in her dream again, and the intense gaze of Brassila, and she shivered.
She walked through the doors of the diner and moved quickly to a booth in the dark corner, out of the way of people coming in. As far from people as she could be in the public diner.
“I’ll take a Caesar Salad,” Alice said to the waitress carelessly. She slunk back into the corner as far as she could, hoping that no one would see her. She stared at the wall, trying to puzzle through the night before.
She was in the middle of her salad when four girls slid into the booth with her. She looked up with surprise. The dark-haired girl sitting next to her shoved her. Alice felt the shock run through her, and she knew. They were t
he fashionable girls, the same ones that had been gathered around Finn the first week she had arrived in this forsaken town. The quick shock told her that they also happened to be mer. She looked at them around her, the pushy dark-haired girl beside her and three on the opposite bench: a blond vacant one, a shy little redhead looking uncomfortable pressed against the wall, and the one in the middle, with the sickly sweet smile, and brown hair with blond highlights.
"Ashley was right. This girl doesn't even have a prayer,” said the blonde, swiping hair from her eyes.
The redhead looked at Alice with curiosity; “She’s the first transform in a century…” she trailed. Alice avoided her blue eyes. What did they want from her anyway? Alice didn't think she was being unclear about not wanting to be a member of their club.
“As long as she doesn’t think that makes her special,” said the girl in the middle, clearly the leader. “We’re here to welcome you,” she said to Alice.
“What’s your name?” the redhead asked, seeming genuinely friendly. Alice looked at her, but made no move to respond.
“Quiet, Kari, this isn’t a meet and greet, this is business. Alice, you are of age and you need to know some of our rules,” the leader began again.
“You are to talk to none of us, you are one of us but you are not on the same level as us. Certainly you will have males pursue you, being the first transform in a while. You are not to chase a male. You are dirty, half-human.”
Alice stared at her. What was this girl talking about? Because the first thing Alice wanted anything to do with was guys. She had never “chased a man” in her life, and she wasn't about to start. She had a feeling that they just wanted Finn to themselves. This was some kind of intervention. That was fine, they could have him; it was obvious to her that this was how they passed their time, chasing after a guy who wanted nothing to do with anyone, as far as she had noticed.
Alice knew she was being manhandled; one of her psychiatrists had tried to do the same, and he had gotten the same reaction as this clique. Alice picked up her fork, looked down at her meal and began to eat again, ignoring them with the hope they would just go away. She hadn’t reacted to anything for years now; there was no reason to change her routine for these annoying girls.
"Now that that’s all clear, let me introduce everyone." said the girl across the table in a fake-sounding voice, flipping her streaked brown hair and ignoring the fact that Alice was ignoring her. "I'm Ashley. Everything that happens in our clan goes through me, and you can feel free to ask me anything you want. These others are the unmated women of Brassila’s clan: Ilse,” she pointed to the blonde, “Carmen,” Alice felt another shock from the one beside her. “And Kari the Selkie,” Ashley finished, motioning offhandedly to the redhead next to her. Briefly, Alice’s eyes found the redhead’s, clearly the meekest, with an odd title. Alice had no idea what any of it meant nor did she really care. She continued to eat silently.
Across from Alice, Ashley was getting slightly annoyed. She hadn’t expected to be ignored by the transform. “You don’t have a human lover, do you?” Ashley asked, trying to get the transform’s attention. In that task, she was failing miserably. Alice stared at the Formica table, chewing each bite carefully, just hoping that the intrusion would disappear. Ashley’s smile turned sour. “Who are we kidding? You couldn’t attract a man of any species.”
Ilse laughed, Carmen shocked her, and Kari looked like she’d rather be somewhere else. Alice flinched at Carmen’s touch. She looked like the oldest there, and yet it wasn’t hard to tell that she was completely under Ashley’s thrall. Ashley commanded obeisance, and the more Alice ignored her the more it irked the mer. Alice was starting to wonder if she could get them to go away. She finally looked up at Ashley, her irritation apparent, her teeth grinding at the shocks she was receiving from the mer next to her.
“What do you want?” Alice asked coldly.
"It's unlikely you'll attract a mate, but I just want to be clear with you,” Ashley reiterated. “You are of an eligible age, but you’re to stay away from the man who turned you. You will not be going after the prize stallion." Alice almost choked, almost laughed, but she restrained herself, not wanting to dignify Ashley with a response. She didn't care about what the girl was saying, didn’t care about her little world. Alice simply stared at Ashley, challenging her unwittingly with her silence.
Ashley’s face darkened, but Alice wasn’t really looking at her, only through her, the way she looked at everyone.
"Finn belongs to one of us, the loyal ones, the true bloods. If you make any move toward him, we will smear you against a boat and make hats of your fins," she said menacingly, lowering her voice. Alice raised her eyebrows. Ashley smiled again and began to talk normally. "Not that you would. I mean you wouldn't stand a chance anyway; you're just so darn ugly." Ashley laughed and her posse followed suit.
“Let me help you understand,” Alice hissed, “I want nothing to do with your politics and your people. I just want to be left alone.” Ashley stared at her. Little did she know that it was the first time Alice had spoken to defend herself in a long time. Alice’s head was filled with images of the knife crashing through the glass, the knife in her hand, the face of her grandmother, but Alice’s gaze remained steadily on the mer. Carmen and Ilse looked to Ashley for a lead, and Kari looked out the window, looking like she couldn’t decide if she wanted to flee or to say something.
“We only want to help. It can’t be easy.” Kari put in suddenly. Ashley spun in her seat and shoved Kari into the wall. Kari winced. Alice returned to her food as if nothing had happened.
“You’re here because we let you be here, too, Selkie,” said Ashley to the red-head. She turned back to Alice, who didn’t even deign to look up again. “Be careful, transform; you certainly don’t want to make the wrong enemies.” She turned to her posse, “Come on, ladies. Let’s go. I think she’s got the message.” She shoved Ilse out of the way as she exited the booth. Carmen turned and gave Alice one last shock for good measure as they all flounced out of the diner. Alice's nostrils flared and she felt a burn as, for a split second, her gills let in pure air.
Something about the girl with her stylish clothes and her stylish make-up calling her ugly bothered her faintly. Alice felt strangely warm; she assumed it was anger. She hadn't felt anger in a long time. She was mildly annoyed that she was angry at such high-school behavior. She stared at her food in a distant way. Maybe it would disappear without her touching it, too.
The bell on the door rang. A young man with sloppy dark blond hair walked into the diner. He spotted Alice immediately, though she was sitting in one of the furthest booths. He moved awkwardly, as if he weren't used to walking, and slid into the seat across from her without asking. He wasn't really concerned with how Alice looked; he was more interested in building a family. He noticed that there was a little color in her face, which was mildly pleasant, more than he had hoped for from the stories he had already heard of the homely transform.
The boy looked like a nerd, and she doubted that he had spent much time outside his watery home. He reached forward, brushing his hand against hers, which was still holding the fork. He sent a tingle through her that would have been pleasant to anyone that wasn't Alice. He let his hand linger on hers, hoping to feel a bit of warmth from her. He knew she wouldn’t be used to their ways, how sometimes they used their electrical field to communicate, but he had expected some kind of immediate reaction.
Alice stared at his unmoving hand. She had been too slow, hadn’t pulled away, and now here he was, touching her. Was it so hard to just be left alone? Alice bristled, the boy jerked his hand away, and the lights in the diner flickered. The boy glanced up worriedly, but no one in the diner really noticed the sudden power surge.
“I didn’t mean to o-offend you,” he said, stumbling over words he wasn’t used to saying aloud. “You can’t use that much current. It’s dangerous among humans.” Alice stared at him sideways. What was this guy doing here, anyway
?
“I-I-I wanted to bid you w-welcome. I-I thought you might…enjoy…company…a guide, maybe?” Alice just stared at him. Yes, this must be what anger felt like. It had been so long that she had felt anything, let alone anger. “Maybe we could g-go for a s-swim sometime?” he said hopefully. She shook her head slowly from one side to the other, trying once again to shake away the dream from the night before. Anger lead nowhere. In the beginning there had been more anger and sadness then her body could handle. Alice had learned to cope and replaced all emotion with a state of persistent apathy. She receded back into it now, trying to keep the breaking glass and the smell of the sea out of her head.
Kendall watched her, waiting for her to respond. He sat awkwardly for a minute, "Uh...I guess you know where to find me," he said as the silence stretched on, then stood and stumbled to the door. Alice watched him go. Finally, when she knew the mer were gone, she let out a sigh and returned to her meal. The anger faded once more and she was Alice again, or at least what passed for Alice these days. She was alone again.
Alice was almost finished when the diner bell rang again. A young man swaggered into the diner. Somehow he moved in a manner as sarcastic as the expression that seemed to permanently stain his face. He nodded toward the owner behind the bar, who looked completely shocked to see him. Several other patrons watched him, curiously whispering as he walked by. The entire diner was alive with an air of surprise. All eyes followed the teenager.
The whispering of the patrons was so obvious that even Alice turned to look. At least there was one thing today that people seemed more interested in than her. The boy walking in wasn't much older than David. His hair was short but stuck almost straight up. Though he certainly resembled Finn, his features were softer and his eyes darker. He had a permanent look of amusement on his face and it didn't change as the people around him whispered. Alice heard an old fisherman behind her whispering to his wife.