by J Turbett
"Leave." Finn said, so low that Alice barely heard it. Alice tripped over her heels as she turned, leaving Finn alone with his dead grandmother.
Somehow, she found her way, stumbling, back to the ballroom. She leaned against the wall, then stuffed the hairnet that was still in her hand into her purse. There were tears on her cheek and sobs in her chest. She would give anything to be as strong as that woman had been. She felt like she was going to slip to the floor, like her legs just weren’t there anymore and there was no fin to replace them.
"Alice!" Adam noticed her suddenly, then hastily put his arm around her. He was nearly lifting her, taking her out of sight of prying eyes. She was on a bench outside now and he was holding a Kleenex in front of her. He didn't say anything; he knew what had happened. He knew how weak Brassila was. "Calm down, it's okay," he said, idly stroking her hair. He pulled her close to him, holding her shaking form in his arms.
Finn came down the stairs, and looked at her disdainfully. Adam looked up at him angrily, though Alice didn’t even notice, her face buried in Adam’s chest. Finn ignored them both and went to find Tommy.
"I have to dance, don't I?" Alice whispered as she calmed. He looked down at her, brushing an errant hair from her eyes.
"It would be better. You should be seen." She let him lift her up and lead her to the dance floor but she didn't feel the music; she simply went through the motions. She was used to it by now, always going through the motions, feeling weak and vulnerable all the time. She didn't want to be seen; she wanted to fade away, she wanted to retreat. All the make-up, the hairstyling, it felt like she was carrying fifty extra pounds. Shut out the sounds, shut out the smells, shut out the light, breathe. But it didn’t work, she knew it wouldn’t, she was in too deep.
Before she knew it, before she could register anything, Tommy cut in with a simple tap on Adam’s shoulder. She could tell he knew about Brassila, but his smirk was still there. Alice was very nearly offended by the sudden change of dance partners. She sent a warning spark into Tommy’s hands as they continued to dance. She looked around for the first time, catching sight of Finn. He looked like he was in pain, dancing with some girl or another.
"You have spirit. I just thought I should warn you," Tommy said, pulling her out of her thoughts.
"Warn me of what?"
"Be careful of the good doctor."
"What?"
"He is falling head over heels for you as we speak." Alice stared at Tommy. She could hardly believe him. "Just saying, human and mer. You could lose the ocean.” She stole a glance at the doctor. She felt tenderness for him that she hadn’t realized was there, but it wasn't anything Alice wanted. Tenderness meant she had a connection to him, and connections made her weak. Besides, none of it was Tommy's business anyway. She tried to pull away from Tommy but his grip was too strong.
"We will send Brassila to the sea after the party. I thought you might want to be there." Finally he broke away, giving her a sarcastic bow, and Adam swept into his place. Alice felt a strange relief. He looked irritated, but he wasn't about to say anything. He shouldn't even be there; it was a party for fish, not for him. He had no real desire to be a part of this world.
Alice was distracted. She could hear Brassila's soft voice echoing through her memory. You are strong, Alice Bailey. Alice didn't feel strong. Alice felt like screaming again. Alice felt like disappearing forever, running away. Yet here was Adam. He was anchoring her, not to mention her parents. How could she think of disappearing when they were thinking they finally had their daughter back. And what of David? She thought of David, of his future, of their past together. Suddenly she missed him so much.
Memories of them played across her mind’s eye as Adam led her around and around. Her actions were mechanical; it was her mind that was truly dancing. For the first time, she felt acutely the loss of her kid brother, the boy who used to be her best friend. Soon, it would change, one way or another.
She looked up as she realized that Adam was stepping away, nodding his head to Finn. Finn, who looked so unhappy. She saw for the first time how much he wanted to escape, just as much as she did. He took her hands, but he was stiff. He was shut off to her and she was shut off to him. They swirled around the floor under the stares of the other mer. Everyone was watching Finn, and now he was with the transform. Alice even caught a glimpse of Ashley’s glare, though it didn’t register. She heard the slamming of a door, but it didn’t matter, Finn wasn’t there any more than she was.
Alice broke the silence. “Why sad?” she asked, below anyone’s hearing but her partner’s. He stared at her, not understanding. “In your song, there was sadness, something no one else seemed to hear.” She didn’t truly care, but the curiosity was eating at her. She knew that emotion all too well, the one he sang.
He stared at her, and stood for a couple extra seconds after the song had ended. He stared at her, but he didn’t answer. Abruptly, he turned tail and fled. He pushed through the throng of people, away from the other groping maids, and disappeared out the door.
Chapter 14
Brassila
Alice stood behind a carefully placed potted plant in a corner. She had run from Adam, had run from the stares of the other folk. Parties weren’t really her scene anymore, no matter how much champagne she imbibed. She just she couldn’t breathe. Out of her purse she pulled the hairnet and stared into the pearls. She saw Brassila’s eyes and her insistence, felt the mer’s courage and current. Her hands were shaking when she remembered the reflection of a pair of green eyes not unlike her own. She looked up, suddenly seeing the face of a little girl watching her.
“You,” Alice said. The little girl kept looking at Alice, but made no response. “You were the one that led me back here on the day I became one of you.” The little girl cocked her head to one side and nodded.
“My name is Aria,” she said, almost so softly Alice could hardly hear. “You were there. With the grandmother.” Alice stared at her wide eyes. Her dark hair wasn’t bound in any way; in fact, she was by far the least primped and pampered person there, and certainly the youngest. She lifted her slight hands to point at the hairnet in Alice’s hands. Alice knelt to be on a level with the young mer. She was so small that the dress she was wearing didn’t remotely fit her; a little waif, swimming in a cloud of material. She definitely looked like she would be more at home beneath the waves. Something about her made Alice respond to her.
“Where are your parents?”
Gently, Aria took the hairnet, then moved behind Alice and began to undo Alice’s hair. Alice couldn’t figure the child out; she was shy, and, yet, she was forward. She began to carefully style Alice’s hair into the net, with the hilt of the knife pinning it back. The blade was hidden in the hair and it was impossible to guess that the decorated hilt belonged to a blade.
“Mom and Dad wander. When Tommy returned, my parents left, to continue his mission.” She moved around to Alice’s front, watching her curiously. She brushed a lock of wet, mousy brown hair from her eyes.
“Why did they leave you?” Aria watched her.
“I don’t…understand?” she said.
“Your parents. How could they leave their daughter?”
“I have many parents here,” Aria said simply. Alice stared at the little girl, wondering what her life was like. She was born of the ocean and the clan and grew with the ocean. Alice had been born of land, and the ocean had claimed her. Instead of dealing with the concept, she stood and moved across the hall to a giant decorative mirror. She gasped as she stared at her reflection, Aria standing behind her. Alice hardly recognized the woman in the mirror. She was no longer the happy-go-lucky person she had been in college, nor was she the visage of death she had been for the past two years. She was beautiful, but there was a hint of danger to her, too, and her blond hair was perfectly complimented by the embroidered hairnet, with only one errant lock hanging over her forehead. She looked down at the little girl.
“Thank you.”
“Alice! There you are.” Alice looked up to see Adam at the end of the hallway. She heard Aria patter off behind her. Adam’s eyes grew wide as he looked at the woman in front of him.
The pearls, the knife nestled in her hair, it was all wrong. He clenched his hands. She didn’t look human; she wasn’t human, but she was beautiful. It pulled at the strings of his heart. Maybe he had just been around the folk too long. Despite the earplugs, the language of the folk had to be getting to him. He shook off the unwanted emotions and strode forward, taking her hand. She did not resist.
“They’re sending Brassila off,” he said simply. She looked up at him. Her eyes matched the emerald on the hilt of the knife. She nodded and Adam led her through the crowd and out to the beach. There were stares, there were whispers, but Alice didn’t notice any of it.
Adam stood next to her, holding her hand. She didn't push him away. Tommy was standing there, too, a solemn look on his face, his spiked hair blowing like grass in the ocean breeze. There were a couple others that Alice didn't recognize. Misa was there. She looked suspiciously at Alice and Adam holding hands. It was not a large gathering; most of the mer remained inside the building, ignoring the small group on the beach.
Alice watched Finn carry his grandmother from the house and down to the ocean. He gently set her down in the surf. To Alice's astonishment, as the water touched her, she melted into it as foam. Adam was looking down; he couldn't see well enough anyway. Finn walked back to the house, not even acknowledging the group on the sand that had shown up to pay their respects. Like a stubborn child, he slammed the door behind him. The crowd slowly dispersed.
"We should go," Adam said quietly
"You go," she said, "I'll walk." He nodded in resignation and Alice stood there while everyone disappeared around her. There was nothing of Brassila left, except in her progeny: a sarcastic, sardonic little boy, and an asshole of an older grandson; that was all Brassila left behind. That, and the knife nestled so perfectly in Alice’s hair. She stared at the ocean and thought of David, and how he had found the other knife.
A hand fell to her shoulder and she jumped. She spun on the boy standing behind her on the empty beach.
“Tommy!” she said.
“Who else? Expecting the doctor? I believe he was tired of dancing with us fishies.” She scowled. Tommy was not someone she could trust. He looked out at the ocean. “It wasn’t wise for her to bequeath you with her knife.”
“What do you mean?”
“Oh, nothing,” he smiled that evil smile at her.
“What do you want?”
“We have business, and I know my delightful sibling will not handle it.”
“What…?”
“Brassila’s last decree. You have an obligation to share our secret. Your brother, I believe.” She stared at him, then looked to the house. To her surprise, it was almost empty. She had no idea how long she had been standing there. “You’ve been here quite a while, you know,” he said, following her gaze. “Dawn is almost here, and, ceremony-wise, that’s really when this should happen. Not that I’m much for ceremony.” He crossed his arms over his chest and smirked at her. Part of her wanted to slap the smirk off his face, but her only response was a nod. She turned slowly on Tommy, though she didn’t like the idea of him being behind her, and started the trek home.
She walked home in a daze. She knew precisely what she was going to do, exactly what Tommy had meant. She knew exactly where she was going, and she knew what it would mean. This could be the end or the beginning for her brother. She tried to find comfort in Adam’s words: Your brother probably is. Somehow that didn’t make her feel much better. Still, she snuck upstairs. The steps didn’t even creak; she was learning to use her weight differently, she was becoming more and more like them. She slipped into David’s bedroom and shook him.
He looked up groggily. "Alice, what are you doing?"
She put her finger to her lips, shushing him and handing him a shirt. He put it on slowly. "It's five o’clock in the morning!"
"Don’t wake Mom and Dad, just come with me." He flopped back on his bed and closed his eyes.
"It's too early," he mumbled into his pillow.
"You're up this late all the time! Come on," she reached forward and gave him a little shock. His eyes opened wide and he stared straight at her. For the first time, he noticed what she looked like through the make-up. He looked at her hair, covered by a hairnet encrusted with pearls, finished off by a hair stick with a giant emerald in it. She didn’t look like his sister: there was something different in her eyes, her skin was different; something wasn’t right about her.
"You shocked me! How did you do that?"
"Come on, I'll show you,” she whispered back.
David got up, staring at her, wondering. She threw his swim trunks at him. He looked at her suspiciously as she turned away and he put them on. She was hurrying quietly out the door of his bedroom. She wasn’t even making a sound, and he knew that those floors creaked. He grabbed a flashlight and slipped into some sandals.
The two siblings snuck out of the house together. Alice was in front leading the way, with David trailing behind, watching her in a way he hadn’t since her hair was cut. He cringed every time his feet creaked on the stairs. She moved so much more swiftly, looking back at him, irritated at his slow pace. He was making a great effort to make no sound, but she was moving like a ghost. Something about this was so strange, even in this strange town, and yet Alice seemed so strong, like she knew exactly what she was doing. Exiting the broke into a run and he followed; they were running down to the beach together. It was the first time in a while they had done something together, yet somehow it felt wrong. Alice ran, tears welling in her eyes. How could David possibly know that she might be leading him to his death? They were now running past the signs warning that trespassers would be shot.
"Aly, we're not supposed to be here," David said, slowing down. Alice was ahead of him, pulling the nice slinky dress above her head. It landed near a discarded tux jacket. Under her dress, she was wearing a bathing suit. This was one he hadn't seen before, it was deep blue. David looked up at the giant wall of windows that looked into to the ballroom. There was a boy his age standing there, drinking a cup of some drink or another. His brown eyes watched the two of them. "Alice!" he said with alarm. "There's someone watching."
Alice looked back, the moonlight shined off her green eyes in a way that David couldn't believe was normal. He looked back with her; the moonlight glinted off the boy’s eyes, too. "It's Tommy," she said.
"One of the Caraways?"
"The younger," she nodded.
He joined her, switching on the flashlight and shining it around. There didn't seem to be anything remarkable about this beach; it looked just like the public one, only more secluded. "Alice, what are we doing on a millionaire's private beach at 5 am, dressed in swimwear?" He felt nervous, especially with Tommy watching their every move, but no one was shooting. Alice must have permission to be here – after all, the Christmas party must have just finished.
She smiled at him. "I'm a mermaid, Davy." He spun to look at her. He stared at her like she was insane as she ran into the surf. She didn’t give him time to process her comment, and he certainly didn’t believe it. David wasn't about to move to join her. This all had to be some tric
k. Alice was under the waves where he couldn't see her. He shined his flashlight on the water nervously as he waited far too long for her to surface, growing more scared by the second. He caught sight of the bottoms of her bathing suit, washing up in the surf, ripped. He moved forward and gently picked them up. He still didn’t understand what was going on.
Suddenly Alice shot out of the water at high speed—with a tail! David jumped back, dropping the swimsuit into the water. She hit the water again and then let herself wash up on the beach, her tail extended behind her.
David fell down on his ass.
There was no other reaction he had for it. The flashlight fell on the sand at his feet. "How is this? What is this? What?" Tommy suddenly went flashing past him. David blinked. Tommy wasn't wearing anything except a belt with a short sword in it. A sword? Tommy was running naked for the waves with a sword strapped to his hip. Tommy leapt into the waves, then came back with a tail, same as Alice.
David's mouth hung open like in the old Looney Toons. He just couldn't believe what his eyes were seeing, but the flashlight was shimmering off their scales. He couldn't even form words anymore.
"Grandma was a mermaid, David. That's why she never went in the water with us as kids."
"That...doesn't...make sense," he mumbled “Grandma?”
"She couldn't go into the water. She was forbidden. Both for the tail, and because she fell for a human." That wasn't exactly what David had meant. None of it made sense. Mermaids weren't real, but there Tommy was, staring at him with that sarcastic gaze. Staring at him, laughing at David's expression with his eyes. It was all widely disconcerting, far too much for his sleep-addled brain to understand.
David looked back at Alice, perplexed. "You—how long?" he demanded, suddenly angry.
"About a month after we moved here, when I decided to take a swim."
“You…you didn’t…” his hands shook. How could she keep something like this from him? This was it, this was the secret, this was the reason she had started changing, and here he was, sitting in the dark. What did she want from him? What did she expect from him? He shook his head and opened his eyes again. This time he stared at Tommy.