Original Sin

by Tasmina Perry

  She wiped her red eyes and inhaled loudly to catch her breath. How ridiculous to be crying after so long, she thought angrily, hoping Sean wouldn’t tell his mother; her career had meant everything to her. For twelve years she had worked so hard she would never feel lonely or insecure again. Money couldn’t bring her father back but it could give her a safety net from the world. She couldn’t allow herself to lose that; she had seen what it had done to her father.

  She blew her nose and looked at her watch. It was now almost midnight.

  ‘Thanks for the beer. I should get back,’ she said, standing up, feeling suddenly embarrassed at her outpouring to someone she barely knew.

  ‘Are you sure you don’t want to talk about this some more?’

  ‘I’m sure. I just want to go to my room and pack.’

  ‘You’re leaving? I thought this was your holiday. What about the volcanoes and the dolphins?’

  She shook her head vigorously. ‘And bump into Mother and Anthony on their romantic holiday? No way.’

  ‘But if you haven’t spoken to her for twelve years, maybe your mother isn’t even with Anthony any more?’ said Sean. ‘Maybe she’s not in Hawaii.’

  She could be dead for all I care, thought Tess, instantly feeling bad for having had the notion. She shook her head; surely she would have heard. And she would definitely have heard if her mother had left Anthony. Every now and then she heard snippets about their life through friends such as Jemma’s sister Cat, so she knew about their big house in Edgware, their life of happy retirement enjoying cruises and holidays, just like the one they were on now.

  ‘I have another idea,’ said Sean, looking thoughtful. ‘I was going to head to Maui tomorrow, it’s the next island over. My friend has a great house in Hana, a really quiet, fantastic spot. Why don’t you come?’

  He looked completely serious.

  ‘No, they’re your friends … ’ she said, jangling the silver bracelets around her wrist. ‘I don’t want to intrude.’

  Sean shook his head. ‘No, it’s just going to be me, if you can stomach that,’ he smiled. ‘Chris is away in Europe. I’m just staying there for a couple of nights before I head back to London.’

  ‘Sean, I can’t.’

  ‘Yes you can. You told me you’ve got a couple of days off yourself, and my mom is in Paris with Brooke doing wedding dress stuff, so she won’t be needing you. And really, I don’t bite.’

  He smiled, his eyes crinkling up. Tess couldn’t believe she was actually tempted by his suggestion. But then she badly needed a break from New York. And she couldn’t stay here.

  ‘When are you leaving?’

  ‘Seven tomorrow morning, before anybody else is up and around, even for breakfast.’

  ‘I must be crazy.’

  Sean laughed. ‘Hey, I could have told you that the day I met you.’

  *

  It was only a short hop over to Maui on a twelve–seater plane that Sean had chartered for the day. Maui looked more green than the Big Island, but its volcanic past was still evident from the huge, lunar–like crater she could see in the middle of the island. From the air, they could also see the perfect, crescent–shaped beaches all along the coast, some black, some white, some even a dark red. She loved it already. They landed at Hana airport, little more than an airstrip on the lush eastern side of the island, and climbed into an open–topped Jeep waiting for them by the tiny office building.

  This was a different Hawaii to the one she had experienced on the Big Island, which was built up and touristy with skyscrapers in the business districts and cruise ships on the horizon, every shop seemingly packed with plastic surfboards and crazily patterned shirts. Hana, by contrast, had a unique calm that was almost spiritual. Tess loved the smell of the frangipani and rain–scented breeze as they took a ten–minute trip around narrow, mango–strewn lanes into the small town.

  They pulled up in front of a one–storey oriental–styled house with emerald green lawns that sloped down to the ocean. Inside it was like a Thai boutique hotel, with maple floors, ceiling fans, and grey, cream, and charcoal minimalist furnishings. She walked out onto the lanai – the terrace at the back – and saw a black marble infinity pool stretching out in front of her. In New York she was sometimes intimidated by the luxury: the museum–quality splendour of Belcourt, or Meredith’s chilly Upper East Side WASP palace. But here, she felt as if she could lie down on one of the ivory sofas by the pool, drink in the views, and feel entirely at home.

  ‘Who owns this place?’ she asked Sean, who had already changed into khaki shorts and a white T–shirt. He grinned.

  ‘Chris Kennedy.’

  ‘The rock star?’

  Sean nodded. ‘I’ve known Chris for years – well, before the band got really famous. Lots of musicians live around here actually. George Harrison used to have an estate down the road.’

  ‘Blimey,’ said Tess, looking at the house in a different light now she knew it was owned by a celebrity. Still, there was no harm in enjoying the luxury while she was here, was there?

  ‘Mind if I take a dip in the pool?’ she asked.

  ‘Oh no,’ said Sean. ‘Grab your bikini, I can think of somewhere better to swim than here.’

  ‘Better than here?’ she said suspiciously.

  ‘Trust me.’

  They got back in the Jeep and drove back towards the tiny village, turning off down a bumpy road behind the one–room schoolhouse, finally coming to a dusty dead end where Sean parked and jumped out.

  ‘Come on!’ he grinned, heading for a hole in a barbed–wire fence.

  ‘Where exactly are we going?’ said Tess.

  ‘Off–piste,’ called Sean as he disappeared through the hole. She followed him through and down a trail heading towards the jagged cliffs. They were surrounded by lush forest on all sides. Flowers on the trees were the bold red of traffic lights, the ripe mangos were as shiny as topaz; it was a picture–book Garden of Eden – apart from the fact that Tess felt the loose earth of the path might fall away into the sea at any moment. They slowly edged along a dusty and treacherous path that clung to the side of a cliff–face, at one point even having to double back where the trail disappeared into the sea from a landslide.

  As they walked, Sean began to open up to Tess, and she learnt the real stories behind some of the things she had read or heard about him. Yes, he had been expelled from his exclusive prep school, but he had been dyslexic. ‘Couldn’t make sense of all those jumbled letters,’ he smiled. Relegated to the bottom stream, he became frustrated, which led to ‘high jinks’ to keep himself amused. ‘They didn’t really go for high jinks at my school,’ said Sean. ‘They suggested I might be happier elsewhere.’

  Tess laughed. ‘And to think I thought you were just a trouble–maker. It just goes to show that behind every story is another more interesting story. My first editor always used to tell me that.’

  ‘Well, he was right about that,’ said Sean, ‘certainly when it comes to my life.’

  Just then, Tess slipped on a loose rock and fell sideways. Sean’s hand shot out to grab her and they both sat down on the path with a bump. They exchanged a look of alarm, then both cracked up laughing. ‘Come on,’ said Tess, as she dusted herself off and sat down on a large rock.

  ‘What exactly am I risking my neck for?’

  ‘We’re going to the Secret Beach,’ said Sean as he sat down next to her.

  ‘Secret beach?’ she repeated with wonder, ‘How come you know this island so well?’

  Sean sighed. ‘Ah well, that’s another of your “hidden stories”. Do you remember after the Venus party, my mother checked me into a rehab facility in Minnesota?’

  She nodded. Meredith had told her.

  ‘Well, I lasted ten days. There were some seriously fucked people there and it made me feel worse. It wasn’t that I didn’t agree with what they were saying at the clinic, I just didn’t like the way they went about it,’ said Sean. ‘All that public confession, it’s not what I
was brought up to do. The Asgills deal with their problems within the family, I’m sure you’re up to speed on that?’

  Tess smiled and nodded.

  ‘Anyway, the overdose had scared the hell out of me and I knew I had to do something. So I came out to Chris’s place. Believe it or not, they have NA meetings in a place as little as this. Anyway, I went to a few sessions but I found I didn’t really need it. Not here. Not when you’re surrounded by all this.’ He paused and looked around at the forest and the sea beyond.

  ‘I guess what happened just scared me shitless.’

  ‘At least you met Annabel in Minnesota,’ said Tess good–naturedly. She figured it was about time she brought up Sean’s girlfriend in conversation.

  ‘Annabel and I aren’t together any more,’ said Sean after a moment.

  ‘Really?’ she said, trying to sound casual. ‘I didn’t know.’

  ‘It only happened last week. I didn’t think it was serious enough to make an official statement,’ he replied, eyeing her cynically.

  ‘Well, you need to tell me these things.’

  ‘Do you ever stop thinking about work?’ he smiled, helping her up and setting off up the steep track once more.

  ‘Only today,’ she said, realizing that it was actually true. She hadn’t actually thought about work once since she had stood outside the Aloha Grand at seven a.m. that morning, waiting for the taxi, when she had pondered whether going on a two–day vacation with Sean Asgill was a sackable offence. More importantly, Tess realized she hadn’t even thought about her mother’s husband – my evil stepfather, she corrected herself – all morning.

  ‘Are you sure this is the way?’ puffed Tess as she followed Sean up a steep incline, the crumbling rock sliding away behind her feet. Sean pointed around the next corner and grinned. ‘I’m sure.’

  As she turned the corner, Tess gasped out loud. They were high up on a rocky outcrop, looking down into the most glorious cove she had ever seen. It was as if a giant had scooped out the side of a mountain, leaving the rainbow layers of sheer rock exposed, plunging down to a perfect crescent of beach protected from the pounding sea by a line of rocks jutting from the sea two hundred yards out. It was completely deserted apart from a pair of pelicans perching on a boulder.

  ‘Bloody hell,’ she whispered.

  ‘Exactly,’ said Sean.

  They scrambled down the narrow ledge to the beach. The sand was bright red and the water like a flat piece of jade, the natural lagoon making it calm and clear. Tess could see a shoal of tiny fish darting about in the shimmering brine, like a translucent cloud. Whooping, they ran down the sand and splashed out into the sea. They swam to a tall wall of black volcanic rock forming the edge of the lagoon, where Sean hoisted himself out and onto the rock, while Tess floated lazily on her back, gazing up at the blue sky. For some reason she began to think about the holidays she’d had as a child. Her mother Sally had always insisted on going to the chic resorts that her posh friends were visiting: Marbella or Nice; except the Garretts could only afford to stay in the cheapest places. They’d buy things from the supermarket and eat a picnic on the beach while Sally griped about the injustice of not being able to lunch in the beach cafes only yards away.

  ‘Hey, you looked deep in thought back there,’ said Sean as they swam back to shore.

  ‘I was just thinking how much I loved travelling.’

  ‘Just as well, with the job Dom did, I guess.’

  ‘That was different,’ she said, smiling ruefully. ‘It wasn’t really about having fun.’

  From this distance she could see how travel had bound Dom and her together like some sort of artificial glue, and how the mini–breaks, luxury hotels, and Caribbean beaches were just mood enhancers to disguise the fact that they didn’t really have that much in common. Tess flopped down on her towel and drank the bottled water greedily as Sean towelled his face.

  ‘So do you forgive me?’ he asked.

  ‘For what?’

  ‘What happened in London with Dom,’ he said quietly. ‘I was only trying to protect you, Tess, but you know that’s an uphill battle.’

  She squinted up at him, shielding her eyes. ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Well, you have this “leave me alone, I can handle it myself” vibe going on, don’t you?

  ‘I do not!’

  ‘Okay, but it was fairly obvious you hated me from the second you met me.’

  ‘That’s not true,’ she protested.

  ‘It is.’

  She smiled, taking in a deep breath of sea air.

  ‘I have this theory that how you feel about someone stems from the time you first meet them – that “first impressions last” thing, you know?’ said Tess. ‘I remember at sixth–form college there was this kid called Big Marie. She was cuddly and lovely and a very big girl. Last year I went to a college reunion and Big Marie was there, except she wasn’t big any more. She was slim and beautiful and had just got married to a handsome City banker. No one could believe it; they were all gossiping about how this fat girl had landed a hunk; it was as if they couldn’t see what was in front of them. Their view of Marie was fixed – to them she would always be big and awkward and ugly.’

  Sean looked at her. ‘Am I Big Marie in this scenario?’

  Tess giggled.

  ‘When I first met you, or should I say when I first knew of you, you were the guy at the orgy full of drugs, remember?’

  ‘Hmm … I can’t deny that. But, you know, some people do think I’m an okay guy.’ He looked at her. ‘Hey, what’s that look for?’ he asked.

  ‘You. Today. You’re being such a gent.’

  ‘D’you think I’m trying to seduce you?’ he grinned.

  Her cheeks flushed red and she avoided his eyes.

  ‘Do you want me to seduce you?’ he said more softly.

  ‘It doesn’t matter, does it?’ said Tess, finally looking at him. ‘It’s not going to happen.’

  Leaning towards her, he took her face in his hands and his lips came down on hers. With minimal resistance she pushed him away. ‘No Sean, I’m serious, we can’t.’

  ‘Yes we can,’ he said with a chocolaty laugh.

  She groaned as he kissed her damp neck, his hand sliding across her stomach, gently pushing her back onto the hot sand. She felt his lips over her sun–kissed skin; her shoulders, fingertips, stomach. He slid off her bikini top and sucked her dark, cherry–like nipples as his fingers peeled off her briefs.

  ‘Not here,’ she gasped. ‘Someone might come.’

  ‘Maybe,’ he chuckled as he dipped two fingers through her damp, dark triangle of hair and deep into her, stroking her hard, throbbing clit with his thumb.

  She dug her toes into the sand as he pulled down his swimming shorts in one impatient movement. She no longer cared who might come and see them. Here, with Sean in this secret cove, it seemed the most natural and perfect thing to do.

  ‘Please, now,’ she gasped, knowing she was already on the edge of climax. Pulling his hard, muscular body towards her, she could think of nothing but how she needed his cock, beading with dew, inside her. And as she moved in unison with his body, his cock filling her whole, every sensation she had felt over the past twenty–four hours: the annoyance, panic, sadness, the pleasure, they all crystallized into one hot, burning climax so intense that she saw spots of light bursting on her vision.

  Afterwards, they lay together, their damp bodies caked in the red sand, Sean stroking her hair, Tess enjoying the feel of his strong arms around her. They went back to Chris Kennedy’s house and, after a long cool shower together, made love again, this time on the crisp white sheets of an emperor–sized bed, more slowly, less urgently, but with just as much desire. Stepping onto the lanai, watching the streak of peppery starlight across the inky black sky, she smiled to herself. Now she could see that Sean’s actions in London were only designed to show her how little Dom cared for her feelings. But did that mean Sean cared for her? She didn’t want to think about th
at too thoroughly right now.

  He walked out and handed her a glass of pink lemonade and they both sat on the swinging love–seat, watching the fireflies come out to dance around the brush.

  ‘What are you doing after the wedding?’ asked Sean after a long pause.

  ‘You mean, am I staying in New York?’

  He nodded.

  ‘I’d like to,’ she said slowly, unsure if that was the right answer – whether it was true and whether it was what he wanted to hear. She was enjoying this moment and didn’t want to break the spell. Did he expect her to want to run back to London because he was there, just because they had had sex? Is that what she wanted to do? Tess just didn’t know anything any more.

  ‘So what about you? How long are you staying in London?’ she asked cautiously.

  He rocked the seat back and forth with his foot. ‘Initially it was a year, then it became two; now I consider it home. You probably don’t know this, but I want to start my own PR and events management agency next year.’

  ‘Really? And not work for Asgill’s?’

  ‘No, I’d still work for Asgill’s, they’d just be one of my accounts,’ said Sean. ‘Over the years, a lot of blue–chip companies have approached me to do events and PR for them, and it seems a waste to let those opportunities pass by, especially when I can still do my bit for the family company.’

  She glanced at him; here was yet another side of him she hadn’t noticed. She’d been so quick to write him off as a waster and a dilettante that she hadn’t recognized his ambition and passion for what he did. ‘Anyway, how can I leave England,’ he said with a cheeky twinkle, ‘When my latest addiction is English girls?’

  She punched him on the arm.

  ‘Hey! Let me finish!’ he cried. ‘ … Although it’s just a shame that the one I like lives in New York.’

  He was cut off by the chirping of her mobile phone.

  ‘I’d better get that,’ she said, her heart still thumping wildly from his words.

  ‘Leave it.’

  ‘You know I can’t do that,’ she said regretfully. She had already missed two calls from Jemma and wondered if there was a problem.