Lather

by Nicki Rae

  As we are rounding the house, I smell the fire before I see it and start to feel a little more comfortable. I see friends. My friends, not my so called friends that were only around when I wanted to drink my life away. I know that coming out tonight was the right decision. The only person that is missing is Missy. But since her and Tyler broke up, I didn’t expect to see her. Maybe it is for the best. It was her house and her friends that I was getting in trouble with.

  “Em! Shay! We saved you a couple of seats.”

  As we are taking our seats, Tyler comes over and hands us both a beer.

  I decline.

  “Thanks, Tyler, but I am driving.”

  I know he has no idea, but driving would have never stopped me before. I just don’t want to make an ass out of myself in front of all of my friends.

  “Oh sorry, I wasn’t sure how you got here.”

  “It’s ok.”

  “I wanted to tell you that Logan is in town, I wasn’t sure if you knew or not.”

  My heart drops for a moment. I have been doing so well; I really don’t need to hear his name. Instinctively, I look around. I don’t see him thank goodness.

  “Is he here, now?” I ask, almost scared to know the answer.

  “No.” He says and shakes his head.

  So he was in town for Tyler’s graduation, he just didn’t come because of me. Don’t I feel like the ass.

  I have to remind myself that we are here to celebrate. I can’t get depressed and ruin everyone’s night.

  “Let’s not talk about Logan, Tyler. We are here to have a good night.” Shayla says before I can.

  That is why I love her. She and I have been friends for so long that she knows exactly what I am thinking most of the time.

  “Shay, it’s ok.”

  She looks at me wearily, “Are you sure?”

  “Really, Shay, I am ok.”

  “Good because this is a good song. You are going to get rid of that mopey look on your face and we are going to get up off our asses and dance!”

  I start laughing as Shay grabs Tyler and my hand and we start dancing. I don’t think I have ever saw Tyler dance but evidently he is enjoying himself just as much as we are.

  I pull away from Shay a few minutes later. It is getting so hot, I need a drink. I walk over to the cooler, grab a bottle of water, and sit back in my seat. The other girls that were sitting here are gone, so I am sitting by myself.

  I watch Shayla and Tyler continue to dance, oblivious to what is going on around them. I can feel my eyes start to fill just watching the two of them dancing together. I look down at the grass and subconsciously begin to play with the hem of the dress. The last time Logan and I danced like that, we were so happy. None of this had happened. I want to go back to that time.

  Chapter 8

  *Emily*

  “Logan, are you sure this will be ok?”

  “Emily, I promise. Everything will be fine. Please just tell me that you are ok?”

  “I am fine I just am a little nervous.”

  “Nervous I can work with, scared I can’t. Just trust me, babe.”

  Logan is the first guy that I have ever loved and even though I have not technically said those words to him, I’m sure he knows. He knows if you hear them from me; it means you are pretty special.

  It’s a beautiful night; in fact, it could not be more perfect. I am nervous but at the same time, I am so ready to give myself to Logan. We have been dating since the first day of my sophomore year. We have been almost inseparable for the last few months; I just feel the time is right.

  “You are so beautiful.”

  He never tells me I am hot or cute, he always says that I am beautiful and in some way that makes me feel so special.

  “You’re pretty beautiful yourself, you know.”

  He pushes my hair away from my face as we lay on the blanket that we had a picnic dinner on. Even though my family owned this land, I have no idea how to navigate it, so I really hope he knows how to get us back to his house because I definitely do not. He slowly kisses me, our tongues intertwining and he moves his hands up and down my arms.

  “Are you cold?”

  I laugh, “Um, no Logan.”

  I feel his smile on my lips, “Good because it is about to get a whole lot warmer out here.”

  I am pretty sure I am blushing underneath my already flush colored cheeks.

  “I’m not sure that is possible,” I laugh.

  Logan’s hands move to my sides, over my belly and start going towards my breasts.

  All. Laughing. Stops.

  “Your skin is so soft,” he pants as his head lowers and he starts kissing my stomach.

  My insides are on fire, my head is foggy, and I’m not sure if I even know where I am, at the moment.

  “You ok, babe?”

  A moan is all I can manage and I’m not even sure I really managed that.

  Logan laughs, “I’ll take that.”

  He takes one of my nipples in his mouth and this time I really moan.

  I’m not sure how much more my body can take but I am very much ready to find out.

  I suddenly wake and realize that I am in my bed; the smell of campfire in my room from the night before and the unease of dreaming of Logan. I’m glad that I am not spending the summer here because I don’t know how I would handle seeing him. I haven’t actually even seen him and I am dreaming about him. I shake off my unease and begin to pack up some of my room when my sister, Rebecca, knocks on my door.

  “Mornin’, Bec.” I say continuing to pack my box.

  “Mornin’, Em. Someone is downstairs to see you.”

  This instantly gets my attention.

  “Who is it? It is far too early to be Shay.”

  Bec looks down at the floor.

  “It’s Logan.”

  My heart stops.

  “Look. Em, Mom wanted me to tell him to leave, but I think the two of you need to talk.”

  “That’s not your call; you should have listened to mom.”

  She looks me straight in the eyes, “You need to talk to him. It may give you the closure you need.”

  I looked up to the ceiling to calm myself.

  “This can’t be happening.”

  “Do you want me to send him away?”

  I blow out the breath I was holding.

  “Fine, whatever.”

  Bec smiles at me and runs back down stairs.

  As I am subconsciously checking myself in the mirror, I hear Logan at the door.

  “Em, can I come in?”

  Goodness, his voice is still beautiful. Get yourself together, Jenkins. Let him say what he needs to say and kick his ass out.

  “Come in, Logan.”

  I am still trying to reel myself in from just hearing his voice so I have my back to him. When I am finally able to turn to face him, I am met with those beautiful green eyes and that smile that always gets me.

  “Hey Emily, you look beautiful!” he says, nervously.

  “Don’t…just don’t, Logan,” his face falls a little and instantly I feel bad.

  “I’m sorry, Logan, It has just been so long, I’m not sure how to react to you.”

  “Why? It hasn’t been that long, Em. Plus, you know me better than anyone.”

  “I thought I knew you Logan, but evidently I didn’t know you well enough.”

  “What is that supposed to mean?”

  “It doesn’t matter, Logan. Why are you here?”

  “Em, please.” He says with his arms held out as if he wants me in them.

  “No, don’t Em, Please me! I gave myself to you, everything was for you, and I have become some joke. So, don’t talk about this bullshit of me knowing you better than anyone. I don’t want to hear it.”

  I had not planned on that coming out or even getting that angry with him, but it definitely feels good to say it.

  “I deserved that, but you don’t understand what it’s like to be away at school not even in the same state as yo
u.”

  “No, you’re right. I guess I don’t but that is no excuse.”

  Logan looks away and I think I see a hint of moisture building in his eyes.

  “Em, I’m sorry. I can sit here and spew excuses at you all day but that won’t fix anything, either. So, I am really at a loss for what to say to you. You do remember that you are the one that hasn’t returned my calls or messages, right? I’m not sure why you are pissed at me.”

  “It doesn’t matter, Logan. I am leaving in a few days to head to school anyway, so you won’t have to worry about me.”

  He looks confused at this.

  “School doesn’t start until the fall, why are you leaving now?”

  Because I can’t be around you all summer.

  “I have already gotten a job and an apartment there, and I want to get myself used to it before school starts.”

  “Oh, that makes sense. You have always been one to plan ahead. Where are you going to be living?”

  I look directly in his eyes. “Yes, I have. I had a lot planned for us, Logan. But that went out the window didn’t it? And it is none of your business where I will be living.”

  Not backing away from my stare he says, “Em, I can’t change the way things worked out and I’m sorry for whatever it is you think I have done. But I can’t explain, if I have no idea what the hell the problem is.”

  I walk over to my bedroom door and open it.

  “Please leave, Logan.”

  That is all I can say to him. I know that I should probably let him explain, but would it matter? Would there be any excuse that would make what he has done ok? I know that there isn’t, so it is pointless to even listen to him. He needs to go because I don’t know what will happen if this conversation continues. I have been doing so well, I can’t let this set me back.

  “I can’t believe the way you’re acting. I know that you think that I have done something but be reasonable and tell me what is on your mind.”

  I don’t know what he is thinking but telling a woman to be reasonable when she is pissed just makes her more pissed. Or, at least, it does me

  “No, Logan. I don’t have to be reasonable.”

  Apparently, he is playing the innocent card. Well that isn’t going to work. I am not going to tell him what I saw to have him just agree and not have to admit it himself. He will tell me or we will have nothing more to say to each other.

  “Ok, Emily. We will leave this for now but you are going to have to talk to me at some point.”

  I walk over to my door and without saying a word; open it for him to leave. I watch him hesitate for a few minutes but eventually he realizes that I am not going to budge so he walks out of my room.

  The impulse to numb is taking over and I hate it. I walk over sit on my bed, lean my head back against the wall and close my eyes. I take a few cleansing breathes before my nerves begin to calm.

  I open my eyes and am very proud that I was able to make it through that situation without drinking.

  Rebecca opens my door and pops her head in.

  “Are you ok?”

  I really don’t want to talk to her at the moment. This whole situation could have been avoided had she listened to Mom in the first place.

  “Em, I’m sorry. I thought it would help.”

  “I know, Bec. It’s ok. It probably did help more than I can see at the moment. He had the gull to tell me to be reasonable!”

  Bec walks in, closing the door behind her. She sits next to me on the bed.

  “Do you want me to help you pack?”

  I lean my head on her shoulder as I wipe the tears from my eyes.

  “I just want to go back to before he left, life was so much easier.”

  “I know, I’m sorry.”

  *Logan*

  I am driving away from Emily’s house when my phone rings, I look at the ID; it’s Tyler. “Hello?”

  “Where are you man?”

  “I’m just leaving Emily’s.”

  He whistles, “How’d that go?”

  “Fucking great! She won’t talk to me and then she kicked me out. And the best part is she is leaving in a couple of days.”

  “Fair is fair, bro. I’m surprised she is as good as she is. I would have been going nuts.”

  I don’t want to hear his shit. “Why did you call?” I practically growl at him.

  “I am going to the lake with some buddies, want to come?”

  Should I go and try to relax and think of a different way to try to approach Emily? Or, do I stay home. I don’t want her to think that I am out fucking around on her. I will be with Tyler and she trusts him, so I think it will be ok. Plus, she fucking kicked me out, what else does she expect me to do, sit and twiddle my thumbs.

  “Logan? Man, are you coming?”

  “Yep, be there in a few.”

  Tyler and I pull up to the lake, and our buddy Jon has brought his pontoon. We usually go out, do some fishing, and drink a lot of beer.

  “What’s up?” Jon asks as we shake hands.

  “Not much, just ready to do some fishing.”

  “Sounds good. This is my buddy Justin. Justin this is Tyler and Logan Moore.”

  He shakes Tyler’s hand but he just nods at me. What the fuck is this dude’s problem. Whatever, I just nod back.

  We have been out on the water for a few hours and no one is catching anything. We have been catching up and having a good time. Justin is just listening to the conversation flow around him, not participating. At first I thought it was because he didn’t know anyone but then I catch him somewhat glaring at me. So now, I want to ask him what the fuck his deal is but I really couldn’t care less so I just let it go.

  It is getting unbearably hot, so we decide to take it to the shore. As soon as Jon gets the boat close enough to the shore, Tyler jumps out to get the truck. I hook the boat to the wench and pull it out of the water. We all get to the truck and hop on. Once we get to the top of the ramp, Tyler and I get out to get our cooler from the back of the truck. Justin just gets in the truck, but his lazy ass doesn’t help us get the boat docked.

  Jon walks over.

  “What’s up with your buddy?” I ask a little pissed.

  He shakes his head, “I don’t know he will get over it.”

  Not wanting to fight, I just shrugged it off. We shake hands with Jon and get back on the road.

  “Do you know that guy?” I ask Tyler.

  “No,” is all he says.

  That guy gives me the creeps for some reason. I don’t talk the rest of the way home; I was too busy thinking about why Justin was being a dick to me and what I was going to do about Emily.

  Chapter 9

  *Emily*

  I have lived in Muncie for all of two days and I already miss being home. I look around my new apartment at the boxes that are piled up everywhere, and decide that I need to just dig in. Mom and my sisters offered to help but I told them I would probably need something to do to pass the time.

  My apartment is small with one bedroom. It is old and has seen its fair share of tenants. But the place is clean, in a good neighborhood and close to school, so I can’t complain. My mother went a little over board buying little things to make this place feel like home. I think I now have a lifetime supply of the type of tea we drink. She has bought enough of the big fluffy towels that I like for four people. I tried telling her that just a few would be sufficient but she told me that I wouldn’t want to do laundry every other day. I thanked her for thinking ahead because I absolutely do not want to do laundry every other day.

  The only thing that would have made this move better would be if I were able to share this with someone, someone with beautiful green eyes. But he doesn’t know where I am and I would like to keep it that way. I have cried over him too much.

  I finally get all my boxes put away by the end of the day, which is good because I have to start working tomorrow and I need a break before that. I decide that I need to call Shay.

  I look around trying
to remember where I laid my phone. I walk in the kitchen to find it on the counter and dial Shay.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey girl, how are you?”

  “Good.”

  She now has my full attention. Shay is a chatty Cathy, so when I get one word answers from her it usually means something is going on.

  “Ok, so spill it.”

  “Em, I can’t.”

  “Shay what’s going on?”

  I hear a long sigh on the other end of the phone. For a minute, I actually think she isn’t going to tell me. As I start to ask her again what’s going on, she starts talking.

  “Logan is going crazy looking for you. He is livid that you wouldn’t tell him where you are living.”

  I knew he would be. He is so used to the universe revolving around him that he can’t stand for someone to actually tell him no.

  “Hmm. Well he can get over it.”

  “Emily, I have never seen him like this.”

  “Well I guess we are even now. I did things I never thought I would do because of him.”

  “I guess. I better get going; Mom needs me to do a few things around the house.”

  “Ok, bye Shay.”

  Shay has never had to do housework in her life, so I know she was just trying to get me off the phone.

  What the fuck?

  ***

  I get out of the shower and start getting ready for my first day on the job. Once I am ready, I look around at my house to make sure everything is secure. I lock the apartment up and walk down the hall to leave. I feel eyes on me as I make it to the stairs. I turn to see my mom’s friend, who is a Professor at Ball State walking up behind me. One of the reasons I moved to these apartments is because of her. My mom felt safer knowing that I lived in the same building as her rather than with people I have never met. I guess it makes me feel safer, too.

  The only good thing about working is meeting new people. The deli was very busy today and even though I am new, they had no mercy on me. Twice I had to clean up a mess made by children. Wow! For such small creatures, they sure can make a mess! And I don’t know how many people spilled drinks. I was surprised to see people who made the most mess were my age.