Monsieur Pamplemousse on Vacation
Page 21
‘If you and Pommes Frites are planning to be around for two whole months, don’t expect to eat like this every day of the week,’ said Doucette, as she bustled around clearing the table. ‘Besides, there are all sorts of things that need attending to. The window boxes could do with a thorough going over for a start. I will make a list …’
‘First things first,’ said Monsieur Pamplemousse hurriedly. ‘It is a matter of priorities.’
‘In that case,’ said Doucette, ‘I suggest you start by telling me exactly what Monsieur Leclercq has in mind.’
‘Ah!’ Monsieur Pamplemousse looked at his watch. ‘Now that, Couscous, is going to take time. Time, and a measure of understanding. Perhaps, as an aid to digesting it all, before I begin we should open another bottle of Meursault? It involves my writing a play.’
Pommes Frites looked from one to the other before settling down in a corner of the room. A good deal of the conversation that day had gone over his head, but he knew the signs. Weighing up the pros and cons and coming down heavily on the side of the cons, it seemed to him his master might well be in need of support before the night was out.
About the Author
MICHAEL BOND was born in Newbury, Berkshire in 1926 and started writing whilst serving in the army during the Second World War. In 1958 the first book featuring his most famous creation, Paddington Bear, was published and many stories of his adventures followed. In 1983 he turned his hand to adult fiction and the detective cum gastronome par excellence Monsieur Pamplemousse was born.
Michael Bond was awarded the OBE in 1997 and in 2007 was made an Honorary Doctor of Letters by Reading University. He is married, with two grown-up children, and lives in London.
By Michael Bond
Monsieur Pamplemousse Afloat
Monsieur Pamplemousse on Probation
Monsieur Pamplemousse on Vacation
Monsieur Pamplemousse Hits the Headlines
Monsieur Pamplemousse and the Militant Midwives
Monsieur Pamplemousse and the French Solution
Monsieur Pamplemousse and the Carbon Footprint
Copyright
Allison & Busby Limited
13 Charlotte Mews
London W1T 4EJ
www.allisonandbusby.com
First published in Great Britain by Allison & Busby in 2002.
This ebook edition published by Allison & Busby in 2012.
Copyright © 2001 by MICHAEL BOND
The moral right of the author is hereby asserted in accordance with the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.
All characters and events in this publication other than those clearly in the public domain are fictitious and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means without the prior written permission of the publisher, nor be otherwise circulated in any form of binding or cover other than that in which it is published and without a similar condition being imposed on the subsequent buyer.
A CIP catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
ISBN 978–0–7490–1245–8
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MONSIEUR PAMPLEMOUSSE AFLOAT
Cuisine de Chavignol is France’s premier television cookery programme. Seated in the front row of an invited studio audience, Monsieur Pamplemousse watches in silent horror as the eponymous host, having downed an oyster in close-up, utters a strangled cry and slowly but surely sinks from view behind a kitchen worktop.
Pommes Frites, sniffer dog extraordinaire, has his own views on the matter: Claude Chavignol was a bad egg if ever he’d seen one. Subsequent events prove him right, and soon he and his master find themselves caught up in a bizarre world of unrequited lust, murder and blackmail in high places.
MONSIEUR PAMPLEMOUSSE AND THE MILITANT MIDWIVES
It isn’t every day that a coffin explodes during a funeral ceremony. Barely escaping with his life, thanks to a warning howl from his faithful bloodhound Pommes Frites, Monsieur Pamplemousse can only wonder who was behind the explosion … and if they were also responsible for the demise of the coffin’s inhabitant.
But then another urgent matter comes to his attention: a terrorist group is planning to poison the food chain. Monsieur Pamplemousse, together with Pommes Frites and a rather strange ally, must spearhead an elite group to stop the catastrophe …
MONSIEUR PAMPLEMOUSSE AND THE FRENCH SOLUTION
When Monsieur Pamplemousse gets an urgent summons from the Director of Le Guide, he knows that there is trouble at the top.
But neither he nor his faithful sniffer dog, Pommes Frites, expects the trouble to involve a nun who is in the habit of joining the Mile High Club or a full-scale smear campaign targeting Le Guide’s credibility as France’s premier restaurant and hotel guide. Someone has been spreading worrying rumours among the staff and infiltrating the company files – awarding hotel prizes for bedbugs and praising egg and chips signature dishes. Even Pommes Frites has become a victim of the assault. It could all spell the ruin for Le Guide, but Pamplemousse is on the case …
MONSIEUR PAMPLEMOUSSE AND THE CARBON FOOTPRINT
In an attempt to improve the lacklustre reputation of France’s most prestigious culinary guide in America, the Director of Le Guide persuades Monsieur Pamplemousse to write a play for the guide’s benefit, complete with a walk-on part for faithful bloodhound Pommes Frites.
Emphasising the importance of a healthy lifestyle to decrease one’s carbon footprint, Monsieur Pamplemousse tries to impress the well-renowned American food critic Jay Corby, but disaster strikes on opening night and Corby storms out in a rage. It’s vital he is found before he ruins everything for Le Guide. Luckily, star sniffer dog Pommes Frites is hot on the trail of their only lead: a flimsy undergarment belonging to an exotic dancer they came across in a state of undress before the start of the show …