The Lonely Hearts Club

by Radclyffe

  “Good.” As she spoke, Reilly double-checked the readouts. Liz’s blood pressure and heart rate were normal. Some of the tension in her chest eased.

  “God, Reilly, I fell. What if—”

  “Hey, it’s okay,” Reilly soothed, feeling more in control with each passing second. She wasn’t going to let anything happen to Liz. “Let’s just wait and see what Dr. Thompson says.”

  “Someone mention my name?” Marta Thompson pulled the curtain aside, pushed in a portable ultrasound machine, and slowed only long enough to yank the curtain closed again. “Fill me in, sweetie. Your chart said something about you getting hit by a car?”

  “If I did, it was just a bump.” Liz quickly related the incident. “I think in all the excitement I just got a little dizzy.”

  As Reilly listened, the muscles in her jaw tightened until her head throbbed. Liz could so easily have been killed. She swallowed down the urge to curse.

  “I’m not hurt,” Liz repeated, giving Reilly’s hand a shake. “Really.”

  Reilly forced a smile.

  “Well,” Marta said, “let’s just be sure everything’s okay.” She studied Liz and Reilly’s joined hands, and then met Reilly’s eyes. “Are you staying?”

  “Yes,” Reilly said instantly. Then she glanced at Liz. “Okay?”

  “Of course,” Liz said softly. “Thank you.”

  Reilly stroked Liz’s hair and drew her hand to her lips. She kissed the back of Liz’s fingers. “Nothing could get me out of this room right now.”

  The obstetrician pulled down the sheet and lifted Liz’s hospital gown, exposing Liz’s abdomen. She placed the lubricated ultrasound probe below Liz’s navel and turned on the machine. “Then let’s have a look.”

  Against the whoosh of the probe gliding over skin, the rhythm of a rapid heartbeat sounded steadily. Reilly listened intently, mentally counting and trying to remember what she’d learned in medical school about normal rate for a fetus at this stage. She squinted at the monitor, trying to decipher the black and gray shapes amidst the background of snow. Then, as if a camera lens were twisted into sharp focus, the gently curved shape of the fetus jumped out in sharp contrast to the shadowy echoes around it.

  “Oh, sweetheart,” Reilly whispered, “will you look at that.”

  Liz glanced from the monitor to Reilly’s face, struck by the note of wonder in Reilly’s voice. Reilly’s mouth was curved in a faint smile and her eyes were soft. Liz had seen that tender look before, when Reilly touched her as they made love. She recognized it now as the reason she’d fallen in love with her. I love you, she thought, and knew it to be true.

  Reilly glanced down at her as if she had spoken the words aloud. “You’re both so beautiful.”

  “Well,” Marta Thompson said, “everything seems fine. The placenta looks nice and healthy and well attached. The fetus is growing normally.” She turned off the machine and set the ultrasound probe aside. “Just to be on the safe side, I want you to rest for the next twenty-four hours. That means on your back with your feet up. Don’t go to work tomorrow.”

  Liz relaxed, the rush of relief so profound she felt lightheaded—in a good way. “Fine. I won’t take any chances.”

  Marta glanced from Liz to Reilly. “Do you have someone you can stay with tonight?”

  Reilly grimaced. “I’m on call again, but I might be able to switch with someone.”

  “No, don’t do that,” Liz said. “I’ll stay with Bren.” She looked at Marta. “A friend.”

  “Good. If you have any cramping or bleeding, even streaking, I want to know about it,” the obstetrician warned.

  “I understand.”

  “All right then. As long as there are no problems, I’ll see you for your next scheduled appointment.” Marta pushed the equipment cart out into the hall and left them alone.

  Reilly cupped Liz’s face and kissed her. “Great news.”

  Suddenly feeling shy, Liz tried for a casual tone. “Well, I guess I can go home then, right?”

  “Let me check with the nurses and make sure there aren’t any tests pending. I’ll find Bren, too.” Reilly kept a grip on Liz’s hand. She didn’t want to leave her. She didn’t want to entrust her care to anyone else. The thought of not being around if something happened to Liz made her feel sick. “It might take me a little while to find someone to cover for me tonight, but I’ll see you later at Bren’s.”

  “You don’t have to.”

  “I do.”

  “I know how busy you are,” Liz said, but she secretly wanted Reilly to come. She needed her, and as scary as that idea was, it felt good too.

  “I want to be with you.” Reilly caressed Liz’s cheek. “I need to be. Is that all right?”

  “Oh, it’s so much more than all right.”

  “If you need anything at all,” Reilly found the call button and pressed it into Liz’s palm, “ring for one of the nurses.”

  “You heard Marta, I’m fine. Stop worrying.”

  Reilly smiled a little unsteadily. “Sure. No problem.”

  “Reilly,” Liz said carefully. “I have a favor to ask.”

  “Anything.”

  “They brought Julia in, too. I heard someone say she might have a broken ankle. Could you check on her? Her last name is Myers.”

  Reilly’s eyes narrowed. “What I had in mind was something closer to strangling her.”

  “I know it probably sounds crazy to you, but I don’t want her to be alone if she’s hurt. She didn’t mean for this to happen.”

  “I’ll check on her. Don’t worry.”

  “Thank you.”

  It took all Reilly’s willpower to leave Liz. Even though in her rational mind she knew Liz was all right, the fear of losing her was not that easy to banish.

  “Okay. I won’t be long.” Reilly backed away. “You’re all right?”

  Liz smiled. “I’m wonderful. Go.”

  Reilly stepped out from behind the curtain and motioned to one of the nurses who stood nearby. “This patient’s ready to be discharged. Can you check if there’s anything pending for her?”

  “Sure. It’ll take me a couple minutes.”

  “That’s fine. Someone else came in with her. A possible extremity injury. Julia Myers.”

  “Twelve, I think. They just finished her x-rays.”

  “Thanks.” Reilly strode down the hall to the wall-mounted light boxes and checked the x-rays hanging there. She found Julia’s and scanned first the distal tibia and fibula, then the ankle bones. Other than a great deal of soft tissue swelling, she didn’t see any fractures.

  “I didn’t find anything,” John Burke, one of the ER attendings, said as he stopped next to Reilly.

  “No, I don’t either.”

  “Ace wrap and elevation for a few days?”

  “Sounds good to me. I’m just going to say hello—unofficially.”

  “Sure,” Burke said, heading in the opposite direction. “We’ll take care of the paperwork in a few minutes.”

  Reilly walked to the next cubicle and stopped at the edge of the closed curtain. “Ms. Myers, I’m Dr. Danvers. Do you mind if I come in?”

  “Not if you’re here to tell me I can go home.”

  Reilly recognized the throaty voice and recalled their brief meeting at Liz’s apartment. She also remembered that Julia had been happy to let her think that she and Liz had been together that morning. She slipped through the opening in the curtain and stopped at the end of Julia’s stretcher. “We met last Saturday.”

  Julia eyed her appraisingly. “I remember. What a coincidence.”

  “Not really. Liz asked me to check on you. The emergency room doctor will be back in a minute to talk to you, but it doesn’t look like your ankle is fractured.”

  “How’s Liz?”

  “She’s fine.” Reilly held Julia’s gaze. “So is the baby.”

  “That’s good then.”

  “Yes, that’s very good.”

  “What kind of doctor are you?” Jul
ia asked

  “I’m an orthopedic surgeon.”

  “Liz didn’t break something, did she?”

  “No. I’m here because Liz asked me to come down.”

  “That’s interesting. She told me she wasn’t involved with you,” Julia said coolly.

  Reilly smiled. “Well, I suppose that might have depended upon when you talked. And what kind of involvement you were discussing.”

  “She led me to believe you weren’t intimate.”

  “I’m in love with her.” When Julia merely stared, obviously caught off guard, Reilly went on, “If you have unfinished business with Liz, that’s between the two of you. But don’t put your hands on her again.”

  “I didn’t know Liz went for the bad girl type,” Julia scoffed.

  “There’s a lot about Liz you don’t know. Don’t walk on that ankle for a few days.”

  Then Reilly turned and walked out.

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  “Will you two stop fussing,” Liz complained after Bren asked her for the third time if she needed anything. Opposite Bren at her desk, Candace occupied the overstuffed chair next to the sofa pretending to read, but Liz could tell that she was staring at her more than her book. The windows were open, and the night was still and hot, even at a little after seven. In another hour it would be dark. Reilly had called an hour earlier and said she had just finished a case and would be over soon. Every minute of waiting seemed endless. Liz turned on her side on the old familiar sofa and curled one arm under the pillow, gazing at her two friends. “I’m perfectly all right, except I’m bored.”

  “You’re supposed to lie on your back,” Bren said. “That’s what Reilly told us.”

  Liz sighed deeply. “My obstetrician said bedrest. I don’t think she meant on my back literally, but just that I couldn’t run around right away.”

  Bren didn’t look convinced, and rather than argue, Liz dutifully shifted onto her back. “Better?”

  “Yes. You still look a little pale.”

  “I’m tired. That’s all,” Liz assured them.

  “I’m going to hunt that bitch down and tear her head off,” Candace said calmly.

  “I’m coming with you,” Bren said.

  Liz shook her head. “I love that you two are ready to do damage for me, but it’s not necessary. Julia is history.”

  Candace snorted. “Not if she’s still walking around.”

  “I don’t know,” Bren said, “she didn’t look to me like she was ready to quit this afternoon.”

  “I saw her for a few seconds before I left the hospital,” Liz said. “I told her I didn’t want to hear from her again. She actually agreed that it was better we didn’t see one another for a while.”

  “She probably knows if we see her anywhere near you, she’s dead meat,” Candace grumbled.

  Liz laughed. “Probably. Julia’s no fool.”

  “You’re wrong about that,” Bren said seriously. “She let you go.”

  The doorbell sounded downstairs and Candace dropped her book and jumped up. “I’ll get it. I think it’s time for a glass of wine. Bren, you want one?”

  “I’ll come with you,” Bren said. “How about we order pizza? Liz?”

  “Sounds good,” Liz said, more to alleviate her friends’ worry than because she was hungry.

  Alone, she closed her eyes, as mentally weary as she was physically tired. She still found it difficult to accept how little she had understood Julia, despite their years together. And she wondered how she could have ever thought what they had together was enough to build a life on, let alone start a family together. Absently, she rubbed her abdomen. The uncertainty she usually felt when contemplating the future was gone. In its place, she felt a surge of happiness.

  When Liz sensed someone else in the room, she opened her eyes. Reilly stood in the doorway, watching her. She must have come right from the hospital, because she wore jeans, a scrub shirt, and her running shoes.

  “Hi,” Liz said.

  “Hi. I thought you were asleep.”

  “No, not asleep, just thinking.”

  Reilly crossed to her and squatted down beside the couch. She stroked Liz’s hair. “What were you thinking?”

  “That having a baby is sort of fun.”

  Reilly smiled. “Glad to hear it.”

  “Me too.” Liz leaned forward and kissed Reilly softly. “And I was wondering how I could have mistaken what I had with Julia for being in love.”

  “Maybe,” Reilly said, her voice husky, “being in love, all the way in love, is one of those things you don’t recognize until you feel it.”

  “I recognize it now,” Liz said. “Every time I look at you.”

  “Me, too.” Reilly cupped Liz’s cheek and kissed her, a slow, deep, possessive kiss. “I’m crazy in love with you.”

  “Lie down with me.” Liz shifted away from the edge of the couch and patted the empty spot beside her.

  “Are you sure? I don’t want to crowd you.”

  “I’ll lie on top of you.”

  “Uh…”

  Liz grinned. “You can be good, can’t you?”

  “It might be a hardship.” Reilly kicked off her running shoes and started to ease down onto the couch.

  “Jeans too. It’s hot and it will get hotter with us so close together.”

  “You know, I go commando in the OR. Most of us do.”

  “Forget it then. You can’t be naked with Candace in the house,” Liz said immediately.

  Reilly laughed and popped the button on her jeans.

  “Baby, I’m serious,” Liz warned, her gaze riveted to Reilly’s hands. “God I love your body.”

  “No touching,” Reilly said as she pushed her jeans down. Underneath, she wore navy blue boxers.

  “Oh good,” Liz sighed. “A safety net.”

  Reilly stretched out on her back, and Liz curled up half on top of her, her head on Reilly’s shoulder. Reilly ran her hand up and down Liz’s arm. “Comfortable?”

  “More than comfortable. Happy.” Liz kissed Reilly’s throat and slipped her hand under Reilly’s scrub shirt to caress her stomach. “I’m crazy in love with you, too, you know.”

  “I can’t tell you how good it feels when you say that.” Reilly kissed the top of Liz’s head. “Annie and I were together three years, but I wasn’t her only lover. I didn’t know that at first, because she didn’t think it should make any difference to me. When I did figure it out, she said she loved me, but she didn’t believe in being exclusive.”

  “If you’re asking if it would make a difference to me, it would. Both ways.” Liz smoothed her hand higher in slow circles over Reilly’s chest. “I can’t imagine wanting anyone else to make love to me except you. And the thought of someone touching you—God, that hurts.”

  “I don’t want anyone except you,” Reilly whispered. She covered Liz’s hand and squeezed gently. “Stop before you get me really turned on.”

  “I’m sorry. I just love to touch you.”

  “I love you. I hope you never stop wanting me, because I’ll never stop wanting you.”

  “What about the baby?” Liz asked quietly. Despite that the moment was wonderful—more special, more exciting than anything she had ever dreamed—this was a dream that came with strings. And as much as she wanted Reilly, she had to know if a real future was possible.

  “I want you, and the baby.” Reilly stroked Liz’s belly. “I want to be part of this with you. I want to love you and this child.”

  “But you said—”

  “Annie always did what she wanted, no matter who it hurt. Including herself. Usually herself.” Reilly tilted Liz’s face up. “Annie said she wanted to get pregnant because she was getting older and running out of time. I’ve always suspected that having a child was part of her dream of having a normal life.”

  “And you didn’t want her to.”

  “I didn’t agree, for a lot of reasons. Her health, mostly. Pregnancy would have put a tremendous strain on her
. Especially if she wasn’t careful.” Reilly shook her head. “Annie was careless with herself—she took chances with people, and with other things.”

  “It must have been so hard for you. And for her.”

  “Harder for her,” Reilly murmured. “I don’t know if she was trying to get pregnant or if she just did by accident. I suspected she slept with men sometimes, but I couldn’t call her on it. I guess since she knew I didn’t want her to be pregnant, she didn’t tell me.”

  “That’s not your fault.”

  Reilly closed her eyes and pressed her cheek against Liz’s hair. “I shouldn’t have judged her. If she had trusted me, if she had told me, I might have paid more attention to what was happening with her. I know I would have. Then I might ha—”

  “I doubt you would have anticipated she’d have a stroke, Reilly. And even if you had, she might not have listened to reason.”

  “I loved her,” Reilly said, “but I didn’t love her the way she needed to be loved.”

  Liz pushed herself up so she could look down into Reilly’s face. “You love me the way I need to be loved. I want to be able to give the same thing to you.”

  “You do.” Reilly skimmed her fingers along Liz’s jaw. “You make me happy. You make me excited about the future. I want to be there for you and the baby. I want to be the one with you in the delivery room when the baby is born.”

  “When I let myself dream,” Liz whispered, “I see us. You and me. The baby. A family.”

  “So do I, and it’s exactly what I want.”

  Liz buried her face in Reilly’s shoulder, unable to stop the tears.

  “Are those happy tears?” Reilly whispered, her throat tight, her cheeks wet.

  “Oh, more than happy,” Liz answered. “Much, much more than happy.”

  *

  “Do you think we should wake them to eat?” Candace whispered, standing in the doorway with Bren. At close to nine, the room was dark except for the pale glow from the desk lamp. Liz slept with her head on Reilly’s chest, her hand still nestled under Reilly’s shirt. Reilly held Liz protectively in the circle of one arm.

  “They both look exhausted, not to mention adorable,” Bren said.