EMIT (THE EMIT SAGA)

by Barbara Cross

  Dad got in an hour after me and said he knew we were having Indian food from the aroma in the hallway. During dinner, the house phone rang and it was Daphne, but I didn’t answer. I wanted to talk to her privately not in front of my parents. When I called her back, she suggested a walk and I agreed. I’d wait to tell her how mad I was in person.

  When I saw her approaching, I must have looked annoyed because the first thing she said was, “Are you okay?”

  “No. Why did you post that comment about Reed?” I asked coldly.

  "Oh, you aren't together?" she asked.

  “Don’t you think I’d tell you if I was dating him? Why didn’t you check with me first?”

  Looking at me incredulously, she said, “I did. I tried all day. I saw the post this morning then called you like six times. I texted, emailed and left voice messages, but I didn’t hear back from you. When I saw Eden’s post, I thought it was true. I called your house phone tonight hoping you’d tell me about it.”

  “I was at work all day and there’s no messages from you on my phone.” This was crazy.

  Daphne checked her phone and said, “Look. The six calls and here are the texts. Let me find the email.”

  “This is ridiculous! I have to go to the phone store.” Frustrated, I threw my phone in my bag. “So what do I do about Reed? I just want to be friends.”

  Daphne was looking at me and shaking her head. “Girls in school would die to date him. Just go out with him. He really likes you and we could double date if Evan ever asks me out,” she added smiling. I was right she did like Evan.

  Daphne started talking about Evan forgetting about my problem entirely. “Evan was flirting with me, but he might like Josie.”

  “I don’t know about that. I think Josie likes Reed.

  Daphne cheered up hearing that. “Really?”

  “I’m pretty sure. She couldn’t keep her eyes off him.”

  “That would be good for you. Deidre said that she’s coming to our school in the fall.”

  “Maybe Reed will fall for her and leave me alone. I shouldn’t have hugged him goodbye."

  "You hugged him?" She looked at me awkwardly.

  "Give me a break. It meant nothing. So what should I do, so he doesn’t hate me?” Looking for some, any kind of advice.

  “Oh, just go out with him,” Daphne said, sounding annoyed.

  “You go out with him,” I said angrily.

  “I used to like Reed,” Daphne admitted. “Now, I like Evan.”

  “What? You never told me that you liked Reed,” I said, surprised at the news.

  Daphne stared at me uncomfortably and finally spoke. “I didn’t tell you because I felt stupid. He was dating Carla and then he was after you. I really didn’t want to be sloppy thirds.”

  “That doesn’t make sense. I never went out with him.” We were best friends yet she never told me about her feelings for Reed. I should talk since I said nothing at all about Daniel.

  Daphne shrugged her shoulders. “Whatever. I don’t know what you can do. Reed posted it on Facebook and now he’s going to look like a fool when you dump him. Forget about being friends. That’s never going to happen.”

  Feeling absolutely miserable, I knew that Daphne was right. This wouldn’t end well. “It’s like he’s trying to force me to date him,” I rambled.

  Why didn’t I like Reed? He was nice, popular, and cute. I wondered if it was because he had dated Carla, the antithesis of me, for over a year. Carla was Spanish and very loud and gregarious. She was the girl version of Reed as far as athletics were concerned. The difference was that Reed was nice and she was a horror. She played sports year round and was adept at a lot of them. She was a gifted athlete, but was a miserable human being. Playing on some varsity teams her freshman year, then all varsity teams since then, the coaches treated her like the second coming. Her head was so swollen from all the accolades that she treated everybody in school who wasn’t a teammate with contempt. In school, she only conversed with her teammates, girls on other Varsity teams or her absolute favorite, the boys. No one else mattered. Since I was only on the JV tennis team, I didn’t exist to Carla.

  Daphne was on Carla’s softball team and said that the coaches continually stroked her ego and kowtowed to her. One day, Daphne overheard Carla telling the coach that she was too tired to go to practice. She didn’t come that whole week and when she returned, she left early every day. She came and went as she pleased and her teammates were sick of the preferential treatment. All that mattered to the athletic department was that the team won.

  In gym class, if someone couldn’t do something up to her standards, she rolled her eyes, smirked and laughed out loud. She was never reprimanded because she made sure the teachers weren’t nearby to hear her. Carla knew how to play the game. In the presence of teachers and grown-ups she was the politest, sweetest girl and had the entire faculty fooled. No one in school complained about her because the teachers never believed that she was a bully.

  In the halls, whenever Reed said hi to me, she gave me venomous glares. When they broke up last year and she found out that he asked me out, she became even more unbearable. How could Reed have ever dated her?

  After discussing Reed ad-nauseam, I couldn’t talk about him anymore. “He caused this mess so if we can’t be friends it’s all his fault,” I said angrily. “I have to go. I’ll talk to you later.”

  I called Lily as I walked home and it went to voicemail. Where was she?

  As I entered the apartment, Lily called so I ran to my bedroom.

  “Where have you been? I’ve been trying to reach you all day.”

  “Sorry, my phone died and I forgot to bring my charger to work today. What’s up?”

  I told her about Reed and she wasn’t sure what to do either.

  “I don’t get it. Why would anybody do that? He’s going to look ridiculous when it gets around that you aren’t dating.”

  “I know. Why hasn’t he called me back? He’s supposedly my boyfriend,” I joked.

  Maybe he tried, but with my phone acting crazy his calls didn’t go through. If he couldn’t reach me, maybe he’d leave me alone.

  “Just call him again and get it over with. Try his cell this time. You’ll drive yourself crazy worrying about it.”

  All of a sudden, I realized I forgot to tell Lily the most important news of all. “Oh my God Lily, I have to tell you something. I met that blond guy today. His name is Daniel.”

  She was actually speechless for a moment. “Are you kidding? That’s amazing!”

  “I know. I got so tongue-tied that I couldn’t think straight,” I admitted. “At least, I know he lives in my neighborhood, so maybe I’ll see him again.”

  Lily laughed and said, “If you don’t, you can always stalk 72nd Street.”

  “Thanks, maybe I will.”

  

  When I opened my eyes, it was ten o’clock. I couldn’t believe I slept so long.

  After I ate some yogurt and strawberries, Amber and I headed out to the park. I knew Mom or Dad had already taken her out, but I hoped to bump into Daniel. I looked all around and even strolled by the Bowling Greens. With no success and feeling pathetic, I went home.

  As I entered my building, my cell rang and it was Reed. I didn’t want to have the conversation in the lobby or the elevator, so I ignored the call. When I had called him, I was angry and brave, but now I didn’t know what to say.

  After Daphne’s, not to mention Lily’s, dire predictions, I needed some more time. Maybe I could just hide out until he went to Canada and it would all blow over.

  Tired of thinking about Reed, I went for a jog and as I entered the park on 79th Street, to go to the reservoir, I passed Daniel jogging out of the park. I stopped, but he didn’t notice me.

  After my run, I showered and went to the library. Then, I hid in my bedroom for the rest of the day, read poems and tried not to think about Reed. I refused to look at Facebook, afraid of what people were saying.

>   Lord George Byron’s biography described a troubled and tortured soul, which I found very disturbing. Although he was a handsome man from a wealthy family, he had a clubfoot and an alcoholic mother. Due to sexual abuse by his nanny, he grew up to be a wanton adult and his contemporaries condemned him on moral grounds. He supposedly had an affair with his married half-sister and there were rumors of an incestuous relationship with his daughter. Because of the accusations, he left England to escape the scandal. By his own account, he had slept with about two hundred women in his time in Venice alone. Supposedly, women were always throwing themselves at him.

  How pathetic! Was I just as crazy for obsessing over someone I didn’t know because he was good-looking?

  Reviewing the required list, I read the next poem.

  SHE WALKS IN BEAUTY

  She walks in beauty, like the night

  Of cloudless climes and starry skies;

  And all that's best of dark and bright

  Meet in her aspect and her eyes:

  Thus mellowed to that tender light

  Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

  One shade the more, one ray the less,

  Had half impaired the nameless grace

  Which waves in every raven tress,

  Or softly lightens o'er her face;

  Where thoughts serenely sweet express

  How pure, how dear their dwelling place.

  And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,

  So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,

  The smiles that win, the tints that glow,

  But tell of days in goodness spent,

  A mind at peace with all below,

  A heart whose love is innocent!

  Unrequited love seemed to be Byron’s inspiration for this poem and it made me think of my unexplainable and unexpected feelings for Daniel.

  My bedroom door opened and Mom startled me.

  “Hi, Honey. Sorry, I didn’t get a chance to call today.” She kissed my head.

  “It’s fine,” I said, but it came out sounding pathetic.

  Looking at me suspiciously, she sat down on the bed and asked, “Something wrong?”

  I didn’t want to talk about it. There really was no point. “No,” I said sullenly.

  As she got to the door, she stopped, “If you’d like to talk, I’ll be in the kitchen.”

  Awhile later, I realized that I did want to talk to her, so I went downstairs and told her.

  “You have talk to him, because the longer you wait, the worse it might be.”

  “Yeah, I know. I just don’t want him to hate me,” I moaned.

  “If that happens, it wasn’t your fault.”

  I walked into the living room, sat on the couch and texted Reed. After a few exchanges back and forth, we agreed on meeting at the IMAGINE mosaic. How appropriate! Maybe it would inspire this talk to remain peaceful. I took Amber for moral support and also as an excuse for a getaway.

  We walked over to Strawberry Field and I started thinking about John Lennon’s life and death. This part of the park was named after the Beatles song "Strawberry Fields" and for an orphanage in Liverpool, England. The black and white mosaic, inscribed with “IMAGINE” in the center was the focal point of the Garden of Peace. Whenever I saw the word, I sang the Imagine song in my head.

  I got there before Reed. I took the Lord Byron poetry book out of my bag and tried to read, but it was impossible to concentrate.

  I saw him approaching and he looked just as nervous as I felt. This was going to be bad; I knew it. Putting my book down on the bench, I braced myself.

  We exchanged pleasantries and Reed sat down. I had to get this going before I chickened out. “We really need to talk.” He stopped smiling. “I saw your status and I don’t understand,” I blurted out and waited for his explanation.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t do it. Evan did and I really had it out with him. If you go on my wall, it’s gone and I posted that Evan’s a moron.”

  “Oh.” I was stunned. It wasn’t a real posting!

  “I wanted to get it off before you saw it, but people had already started commenting on it. When you didn’t call back, I thought you saw I deleted it.”

  “No, I haven’t been on Facebook.” I breathed a sigh of relief.

  When I looked over at Reed, he seemed uneasy and asked, “Are you dating anybody?”

  I paused and answered truthfully, “No, I’m not.” Please don’t ask me out!

  He sort of nodded his head and said, “Okay.”

  Before he could say anything else, I quickly asked, “When will you be back from camp?”

  “The last week in August. I’ll call you when I get home. I won’t have a computer there, so I can’t stay in touch and the camp doesn’t allow cell phones.”

  “Wow, you’re going to be really roughing it,” I kidded.

  “Yeah, they want us to focus only on hockey.”

  He wasn’t happy, but I was. I wouldn’t have to deal with him all summer. Perhaps there’d be girl hockey players at the camp and he’d fall in love with one of them.

  “I’ll be in London till Labor Day, either way, I’ll see you in school,” I added.

  “How about a rain check for a dance this year?” he asked.

  I jokingly said, “Maybe.”

  “Maybe?”

  “I’m just kidding,” I answered and didn’t definitively say yes or no.

  “That’s good.” Reed looked at his watch and said, “I have to go and meet my parents. Chad has some gig and I’m being forced to go.” He rolled his eyes. I guess he wasn’t a fan of Chad’s music.

  “Okay, have fun in Canada.”

  As he walked away, I closed my eyes and was thankful that this nightmare was over.

  When I opened my eyes, Daniel was standing right in front of me. How did he always sneak up on me?

  “Hey, you okay?” he asked and sat down. Amber scampered right over to him and Daniel scratched her head. She had totally ignored Reed, even though; she had met him numerous times.

  “Hi! I’m fine, just a little tired.” I was so excited to see him.

  “You seemed upset talking to that guy.” He had stopped petting Amber and she nudged his hand with her nose until he resumed.

  He’d been watching us? “Oh, no, I wasn’t upset,” I said.

  “Was that your boyfriend?” he asked.

  “No, he’s a friend.” This couldn’t be happening. My fantasy man was here and he was talking about Reed.

  “What are you reading?” Daniel picked up the poetry book. “Wow. Lord Byron. That’s really amazing.” There was a pause. “Lord Byron went to my school. I know his poetry really well.”

  “You’re kidding, right?”

  Daniel shook his head no.

  “You like poetry?” I asked.

  “I do. I know that’s strange,” he added.

  “Not strange, different,” I remarked. “Who’s your favorite poet and poem?”

  “Lord Byron and his poem ‘Darkness.’”

  “Sounds ominous,” I said jokingly. There was no response to my comment, so I wasn’t sure if he had heard me. What happened to him? He seemed a hundred miles away.

  Amber started tugging on the leash trying to reach a passing dog. I jumped up so that she could say hello. Daniel stood up and after the other dog left, asked, “Want to take a walk?”

  “Sure! That’d be great.” Since Reed had made a speedy getaway after our conversation, there was still time before dinner.

  For some reason, Daniel escorted me out of the park and we headed towards Columbus Ave.

  Hoping he was my age, I asked, “Are you in high school?”

  “No, I graduated last June, a year go,” he answered very slowly.

  “So you’ll be a sophomore this fall? What college do you go to?” I wondered.

  “I’m not at school. I’ve been working and traveling around.”

  “Did you apply somewhere and get deferred?” I never heard of people taking two years off be
fore. One year for a gap year was the norm.

  He stopped talking and looked at me with a curious look. “No, I’ll decide when I’m ready. What about you?” he asked.

  “I’m a senior in high school,” I answered, watching his reaction.

  “Really! I thought you were older.”

  “I hear that a lot. I’m seventeen. I’ll be eighteen in December. How old are you?”

  “Nineteen.”

  “Did you go to high school in Manhattan?”

  “No, I went to Harrow, a boarding school in London. It was my Dad’s alma mater,” he answered. That explained his good manners. “My parents were from London.”

  “So is my dad. Wouldn’t it be funny if he knew one of them?”

  Daniel looked at me awkwardly and said, “You never know, but my parents passed away.”

  “Oh…I’m so sorry. What happened?” I asked, incredulous to hear that they were dead.

  “They were in a car accident my freshman year,” he answered quietly. Daniel quickly regained his composure and managed a cute smile. “I’m sorry for getting gloomy.”

  “Please, don’t apologize.” I felt bad and sad for him simultaneously. “Do you live alone?” I asked, trying to steer the conversation in a different direction.

  “No, I live with my Uncle James, my Dad’s brother. I’m working for him part-time.”

  Daniel didn’t like to talk about himself, but I persisted in asking questions. He eventually told me his uncle was married, had two kids and normally lived in DC. He was here this summer for business. When I brought up college again, he explained that he had a trust fund and had decided to take some time off before heading back to school.

  “Enough about me. Where do you work?” he asked.

  “At my dad’s law firm. I just go in when they need me.”

  “Does he specialize in any law?”

  “Yeah, international law.”

  It got totally quiet and I started feeling uncomfortable. The silence was killing me, so when Lily popped into my head, I told him all about her. After exhausting that topic and he still wasn’t talking, I remembered that he was in Australia, so I asked him about it.