Soon, the lodge looked and felt more lived in. Claire’s portable typewriter and stationery were neatly laid out on the dining table, and her cosmetics and toiletries adorned the dressing table. Feeling very much at home, Claire brewed the tea and silently thanked God for Aunt Ellen, who had, in her wisdom, insisted she come to Impunzi. There was a magic to the place, a subtle essence that had seeped into her bloodstream and already captivated her heart. Claire loved Ireland, but Zimbabwe was different. The lifestyle was different, as were the people. The ambiance was different… and, she admitted, Seth was here, always hovering at the back of her mind. Pouring their tea, Claire decided that she really ought to do something about her fixation with that man.
At four o’clock, Naomi thanked Claire for the tea and company, brushing off her thanks for helping her settle in. Turning, just about to step out of the door, she looked at Claire and said sincerely, “I’m glad you’re here, Claire. I miss having female company. Since Mom died it can get very lonely here sometimes. I think I’ve been starved for another woman to talk to! Anyway, I’ll leave you to yourself for a while. If you need anything, you know where I’ll be – otherwise I’ll see you at dinner. Okay?”
Before Claire could answer, Naomi had taken off down the path. Claire was touched by her openness and honesty, and glad that she could take away some of her loneliness by being a friend. Naomi was the type of person who attracted people. Her exuberant personality broke through barriers of shyness and reserve. Claire wondered about her relationship with Tony, who had seemed so quiet and practical. She hoped he was deserving of such a lovely person.
Reflecting on her affinity with Naomi, Claire had to appreciate again the extent to which Aunt Ellen had been right to send her here: she identified totally with Naomi and Seth. Finally, she could talk to someone who really knew how terrible it was to come to terms with the loss of one’s parents. But the siblings’ differences were startling; while Naomi mentioned her parents often, Seth was closed off, and very obviously still trying to come to terms with their tragic death. Claire wondered to what Seth’s time being active in the war had exposed him. Her heart ached for him and, once again, she felt the strange, inexplicable connection between them.
Remembering her promise to write to Aunt Ellen and Kacey, Claire sat down in front of her typewriter, and her words flowed. A short while later she sealed the envelope addressed to Aunt Ellen. She’d been glad that she could honestly tell her aunt that she felt better within herself, and was glad she had come to Zimbabwe. To her aunt, she did not mention her growing awareness of Seth, or her new, confusing and unpredictable emotions. Claire had, however, poured out her heart to Kacey – they had always been totally open with each other, and Claire was desperate for advice. How seriously should she take the wayward flutterings of her heart? Surely, they weren’t going to give her any cause for moral doubt…? Praying for a speedy reply, and that her best friend would be able to give her some perspective on her confused feelings, she sealed Kacey’s letter, too.
Deciding to take a walk, Claire left the lodge and strolled slowly along the pathway. Hearing a strange chattering sound, she stopped and stood still. Looking all around, she spotted movement above her. In the branches of the trees was a troop of monkeys. Sitting down slowly against a tree stump, Claire watched them, entranced. One monkey in particular caught her attention. It was more daring than the others, chattering all the while. Inquisitive, the monkey approached her cautiously, almost within touching distance. The natural naughtiness and devil-may-care attitude of the small animal captured her imagination and snapped Claire out of her incessant rumination about Seth. Storylines and ideas started to come together in her mind, creating her next book character. The troop’s chattering suddenly rose to a crescendo and then they all disappeared, jumping, swinging from branch to branch.
Disappointed at the monkeys’ sudden departure, Claire stood and dusted off her jeans. She realised that more time had passed than she had thought. Walking back along the pathway, she admired the twilight sheen of gold that glanced off the leaves and gave everything a firey hue. Further up the path, she saw Seth standing uncertainly.
Calling out to make her whereabouts known, Claire noticed the relief that banished the frown from his brow. “Seth, I’m over here. I went for a walk and saw some monkeys!”
Seth approached her with long strides. “Listen, Claire; this is the bush, and you shouldn’t be wandering off all on your own.”
His anger was unexpected and, as far as Claire could see, unwarranted. “I understood that the lodge area is fenced off. I didn’t go far, and I knew my way,” she snapped back, not understanding his terseness.
Stepping past him, Claire continued on her way to her lodge. Following closely behind her, Seth realised that he’d overreacted. He had decided to walk her to the house for dinner and, not finding her at the lodge, he had panicked. As they reached the front door, Seth caught Claire’s arm and turned her around, halting her against the door by placing a hand either side of her head. Still defensive, Claire watched him warily, her eyes drawn like magnets to the dark hairs that curled damply above the open neck of his shirt.
“Okay, I’m sorry,” Seth said curtly. “I overreacted. When you weren’t here, I thought… I don’t know what I thought. Next time you decide to wander off, please leave a note taped to your door, so that I know where you are.”
Accepting his apology, and seeking the quickest route of escape from his disturbing nearness, Claire answered hoarsely. “It’s all right. Sorry I worried you.” Raising her eyes to meet his, she implored him softly, “Can I freshen up quickly?”
Meeting his eyes had been a mistake. Once contact was made, Claire could not look away. Time ceased to exist, and she needed to stop him from seeing right into her head. Claire was suddenly, uncomfortably aware that the intensity that she’d felt that morning must have been reciprocated in Seth. She could sense how urgently he wanted to kiss her, wanted to crush her in his arms and taste her sweetness.
Seth almost gave in to his desire – but then he saw a shadow in Claire’s eyes and realised that, although she may be attracted to him, she was also scared. Keeping a tight rein on his emotions, Seth lowered his gaze.
Dipping his head swiftly, he kissed the tip of Claire’s shiny nose and said huskily, “Sure, Claire – go and wash up. I’ll wait for you out here.”
Turning quickly, Claire opened the door and slipped inside, shutting it firmly behind her. Collapsing onto an armchair, her legs like jelly, she sat completely still, breathing deeply and willing the knot in her stomach to unwind. Well, she told herself miserably. I guess that answers that question: this is definitely going to start causing me moral problems. Questions whirled around in her head. Why did Seth have this devastating effect on her? Why was she being so weak? Although she was glad Seth had not kissed her, she couldn’t help wondering what had stopped him. Seth, she knew, didn’t feel he lived in the sight of God. Couldn’t he see how conflicted she was? If so, couldn’t he leave her be?
Claire felt so confused that she could scream. Instead, stumbling into the bedroom, she dropped to her knees beside the bed. She talked to God silently, as she would talk to a best friend. Her heavenly Father knew everything past, present and future, and surely he would give her guidance and direction. Prayer had always been an integral part of Claire’s life, and had become even more so since her parents’ passing. God had never failed her, and she knew answers would come in His own time. Slowly, peace and calmness invaded her heart. She still did not understand – but the Lord knew everything, so she decided to leave Seth and his effect on her in His capable hands.
Seth prowled along the pathway, fighting down his desires. Veering to the left, he walked past the huge mopane tree. He abhorred people who were unable to control themselves. He had witnessed more than one friend of his change totally after being entrapped by a woman. He had vowed long ago that it would never happen to him. He was a grown man of twenty-eight, and he wasn’t about to l
et a slip of an Irish girl turn his world upside down, and tie him in knots. If he wanted her so much, why couldn’t he just have her? What was stopping him? Walking on, Seth noticed that Claire’s bedroom curtains were open. Looking into the room, at first he did not see Claire.
Then he spotted her, crouched at the end of the bed. At first, with a shock, he thought she must be hurt, or crying. Then he noticed the serene expression on her face, and the silent movement of her lips. Seth regarded the scene before him in total amazement. She was praying. Did people still believe in prayer? Seth felt unaccountably shocked, and somehow cheated. To him, religion now seemed just a crutch that weak people used to make themselves feel better. When it came down to real life, in his experience, God was always absent and elusive. Prayer did not bring answers; it only added to the confusion and anger he already felt. Unstoppably, Seth’s memory regressed again to his parents’ funeral, and his unassisted desparation… Turning away from the disturbing scene, Seth suddenly wondered if Naomi prayed. Their parents had taken them to church for holidays, but other than that… He had no idea. Naomi did seem to handle life’s pressures way better then he did. Seeing Claire rise from her knees, Seth was tempted just to melt into the deepening shadows, feeling himself unable to face her quite yet.
Quickly, Claire splashed cold water on her face and freshened up. Opening the door with renewed calm, she stepped outside and, smiling openly at Seth, she said, “Thanks for waiting for me, Seth. I’m ready now.” Looking up, she remarked, “Oh Seth, look! Isn’t the moon bright now? And the stars look close enough to pick out of the sky!”
Muttering a response, Seth observed her questioningly. What was with this woman? The best thing he could do was keep as far away from her as possible.
When the pair arrived at the house, Naomi looked in confusion from Seth to Claire. The tension between them was obvious. Something was definitely brewing between these two. Seth’s face looked like a thundercloud, while Claire was being strangely polite. As the three of them seated themselves, Joseph came through the swing door, bearing a tray of soup. Feeling more at home with the Hendersons now, Claire quickly bowed her head and, without embarrassment, said grace.
Naomi gave Seth a look of surprise, and was astonished to see the conflict glowering under the mask of his face. She kicked her brother under the table, trying amusedly to draw his attention to Claire, who it seemed he was trying his best to ignore.
Claire said her ‘Amen’, and for Naomi the strained moment seemed to pass. Taking a spoonful of soup she questioned her brother.
“How was your day?” she opened. Someone had to start the conversation and, by the look of the other two, she guessed it would have to be her.
“Fine,” Seth grunted abruptly, returning to his intense study of his soup. Well, so much for that, Naomi thought; first course finished, and two more to go. This’ll be fun. Trying again, this time she addressed Claire. “What is your current set of children’s books about, Claire?”
Claire’s face lit up, and Naomi sighed in relief. A point of interest at last!
Responding enthusiastically, Claire explained. “I try to get my ideas from everyday characters. My main character at the moment is a bad-tempered, cheeky, cantankerous squirrel called Squeak. I normally devote two books to each character, while trying to teach a moral lesson at the same time.”
Pausing to thank Joseph for the next course, which consisted of home-fried chicken, chips and coleslaw, Claire continued. She amused Naomi with the true-to-life happenings of Squeak’s adventures: how he learned through trial and error to think before saying hurtful things, and to control his grumpiness. By the end of the meal, even Seth was taking notice and contributing to the conversation.
After coffee, Claire excused herself, accepting Naomi’s offer to walk her back to the lodge. Bidding Seth a quick ‘goodnight’, Claire preceded Naomi out into the balmy night. A strong beam from a halogen light lit the path for them, cutting a glowing line through the shadowy darkness. The two women walked side by side, savouring the tranquillity of the savannah night. Far away in the distance, an owl hooted; closer, crickets chirped.
Naomi’s voice cut into the peace. “Claire, on Saturday it’s my birthday. We’ll be having a braai – I guess you’d call it a barbeque. Some friends are coming over for the evening, and it’s be great if you’d join us. Is that okay?”
Claire protested earnestly, “Really Naomi, I don’t want to impose! I can organise a snack for myself.”
Grasping Claire’s arm with a genuine smile, Naomi insisted, “I want you there, Claire! You’ll enjoy the braai, and it’ll be a chance for you to meet some more of the local people. Braais are such fun. Please say you’ll come?”
Giving in gracefully, Claire accepted the invitation. The rest of the walk was filled with Naomi’s gossip about the neighbours Claire would soon be meeting.
On reaching the lodge, Claire remembered her letters to Aunt Ellen and Kacey and, running inside, she grabbed them. Naomi promised to visit the Post Office on her next trip to Hwange and wished Claire good night with a quick, warm hug.
Not feeling ready to sleep yet, Claire moved one of the armchairs just outside the front door. Making herself a mug of tea, she settled back against the cool leather. It was a quiet night and she let her thoughts roam back in time, bringing to mind special occasions with her parents. She smiled as she recalled odd bits of advice her father had given her over the years. In her mind’s eye she pictured Ireland, her thoughts bringing to life a small, isolated country, which had also survived a turbulent history. She saw clearly the countryside, a patchwork display of delicate shades of green. A land where it rained, or threatened to rain, almost daily. Her mind recalled holidays spent fishing and exploring east of the river Shannon. The wildly beautiful Wicklow Mountains, with lush, green meadowlands… Humming an old Irish ballad, Danny Boy, a smile curved her lips. Tears filled her eyes as she remembered quiet evenings, the three of them watching a movie together or talking through the night about every subject under the sun. Claire knew she would have been able to talk to her mam about Seth and his huge impact on her. They’d had so much love, so much laughter… Now she had so much of a loss.
The wind had risen and, feeling chilly, Claire pushed the chair back inside and closed the door. Her memories had been poignant and real. It was good to remember, though now sadness filled her heart. At times she imagined that her parents were there, waiting for her… but they were not, and Ireland would never hold quite the same place in her heart. Surprised to find that it was after midnight, Claire decided to have a quick shower. Pulling the windows closed, she felt slight apprehension at being so alone. She wished someone was closer, in the same building – Naomi, Claire told herself: not Seth. Squashing her wayward thoughts she continued humming Irish songs. The hot shower relaxed her; the jets of steaming water soothed the tension from her body. Claire huddled under the covers and fell asleep peacefully, unuttered petitions on her lips.
When Naomi had returned to the house, she’d found Seth had disappeared into the office. Leaving him alone, she read her novel for a while and then, making a last cup of coffee for the two of them, she advised Seth to leave the paperwork and get some sleep.
Annoyed at her interruption, Seth at first chose to ignore her advice. Shortly afterwards, though, realising that he was not actually achieving anything, he left the office and made his way upstairs. Looking out of his window, he noticed that Claire’s light was still on and wondered if she was all right. Maybe they should have had her stay on at the main house. Pulling on a pair of shorts after his shower, Seth wondered at his inability to unwind and relax. Crossing the room to the windows, he pulled them shut – at the same time noticing that Claire’s lodge was now in darkness. Somehow feeling more at ease, Seth lay back on his bed.
Oblivion eluded him. With eyes closed, hands joined under his head, he went through the rollercoaster of emotions he had been experiencing since Claire had entered his life. She was a lovely youn
g woman, but there was more to her than just that. He could not pinpoint the elusive quality she had that so fascinated him. In the darkness, a frown furrowed his brow. He did not like the invisible hold Claire seemed to have over him. No matter how he tried to deny it, she attracted him like a magnet attracted iron. Slipping finally into sleep, his last conscious thought was, ironically, that he really had to get her out of his head.
Chapter Seven
He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.
(Isaiah 40: 29-31)
Claire had woken bright and early. As she rinsed her teacup, she heard the breakfast gong. The morning was beautiful, the air fresh and crisp. Closing her lodge door behind her, she made her way to the main house. After breakfast she intended to get some writing done, and the prospect cheered her. She knew, once she got lost in creating a new character, she would be able to stop thinking about Seth. It had always been like that: she entered a world of her own when she was engaged in creating stories and pictures – a world that would then fascinate children the globe over. Her sense of pride and achievement had never dimmed since she had held her first completed book in her hands.
When Claire arrived at the house, Seth, Naomi and Tony were already seated at the table. The smell of bacon and eggs wafted on the air, tantalizing Claire’s taste buds and making her stomach grumble in anticipation as she entered.
Crossing the room and taking her seat, she greeted them. “Good morning, you three – what a lovely day! The food smells great.”
Claire's Prayer Page 7