by Robin Janney
His finger hovered over the touchscreen. Why wouldn’t God want Craig to know about his wife’s returning memories? So, instead Jared called his father. He still didn’t trust his instincts when it came to these feelings. After his mother answered and passed him over to his father, he wasn’t sure what to say.
“What’s up? Homesick already?” His father teased, much as his mother had.
“No. I want to run something by you.” Making his way outside, Jared began to walk down to the stables. “I think Angie’s memories are beginning to resurface. It’s scaring her for some reason. She says they’re not the memories she wants. I was going to send Craig a text message letting him know…but…I felt like I shouldn’t.”
“Why do you need to text him?” Philip asked. “Isn’t he there?”
“No, he had to go to New York. His dad was hurt in a drive-by or something.”
“No! How badly was Les injured?”
“I don’t think they know yet. At least Angela doesn’t. She said Craig was at the hospital and had his cellphone turned off.”
He could hear his father hesitating. “I don’t know what to tell you Jared,” Philip said eventually. “I know he and his father don’t have the closest relationship. Let it be for right now. Give Craig a chance to worry about his father.”
“Alright. It’s a little freaky when it happens though…she just sits there and stares blankly.” Jared rolled his shoulders. “Dad, she said that first night at the farm after she came home from the hospital, she wasn’t entirely sure who I was.”
The other man grunted. “I suspected she’d lost more than a few days surrounding the kidnapping, but honestly I’m not surprised. It would explain why she went through the photo albums a few times. I guess this must be part of the reason why you’re there this summer.”
“Maybe. I gotta get going, Dad. I just wanted to double-check with you before I messed anything up again.”
“Anytime, son.”
N o more memories surfaced.
And not for lack of trying.
Angela sat ensconced in her craft room, Princess at her side. Sitting for several minutes in the quiet room, she had shed more tears when she couldn’t remember anything else from the blank spots in her memory. Why was it happening like this? Pat hadn’t had an answer for her the last time they’d talked about it. Giving up for the moment, she returned to working on one of her sewing projects.
She was trying to piece together a top for her sister and wished she could have her sister’s help with it. Cassie was better at sewing than she was, but the top was supposed to be a Christmas gift. Maybe she’d message her sister later, nail down a specific weekend for the visit they’d discussed.
There was a rap at her open door, causing her to jump and Princess to bark. Looking over to the doorway, Angela was relieved to see her housekeeper standing there.
The dark-haired woman smiled as she lowered her hand from the door. “I’m sorry to disturb you Miss Angela, but Toni is here.”
“Crap,” Angela muttered. “I forgot to tell her I can’t ride yet.” She glanced at the clock on the wall and sighed. Nan made no comment, but she felt embarrassed anyway. “I only rode that once. You know I haven’t since.”
“I didn’t say a word,” replied Nan, her gentle voice amused.
“Did you tell my husband?”
“I did not. I figured if you wanted him to know, you’d tell him yourself.”
Which she hadn’t. Angela placed her sewing aside and left the room. Princess yipped happily as she followed behind Angela and Nan as they descended the stairs.
“You’re not dressed for riding,” commented Toni from where she stood in the living room, sounding relieved. It looked like the taller woman had been putting her cellphone away, but maybe she’d just been straightening her top.
“I forgot to call you,” explained Angela, coming to a stop in front of her friend. “I’m still on medical restrictions. Dr. Ryan doesn’t want me riding yet. Hopefully he’ll clear me when I see him again on Monday.”
“Ah, I’m not here for a ride. Your husband sent me a text this morning asking me to stop in and make sure you’re obeying your restrictions. I’m sorry to hear about your father-in-law.”
Angela didn’t understand the anger flaring up in her. It wasn’t the first time Craig had asked someone to check up on her, but usually it was one of their staff. Toni was a friend, even if she did sometimes forget and acted like a therapist as she was now.
“Why does that make you angry?” the other woman asked.
“I only rode once,” she replied, ignoring the question. “Yesterday after he left. Feel free to tell him. I also did a few jumps I wasn’t supposed to.”
Toni’s eyebrows shot up. “I hope you don’t do that again. Hey, don’t be sore with me. He asked me to check on you because he’s worried about you. Once I heard about your concussion, I was worried too.”
Sighing, Angela tried to remember the truth of that. Craig did have a lot going on right now, and it was foolish to be upset just because she wasn’t the center of his attention right now. But… “He wouldn’t have to worry about me if he’d just taken me with him! I like my father-in-law, and I know I wouldn’t get in the way like Craig said I would!”
I could protect him.
That…sounded like something she’d said, but no memory followed. Who would she have said it to? Was this something from the dreams she’d had during her coma?
“Craig said you’d be in the way?” Toni asked skeptically, taking a seat on the cushiony couch.
“No.” Sitting down next to her friend, Angela shrugged. “He said it would be complicated to have me there. It sounded to me like I’d be a nuisance.”
“He’s probably just concerned about how hard it would be to protect you there,” reasoned Toni. She rubbed Angela’s back with a firm hand. “Keeping you safe is a bit of a hang-up with him, but I thought you’d understand that.”
“Of course, I do!” Angela hopped back up to her feet, not wanting her friend’s touch and not understanding why. “There’s no way he could have stopped what happened. I was the dumb one for leaving the house. If I’d just stayed put…”
“Things might have been a great deal worse.” Toni crossed her jean-clad legs and watched Angela pace around the spacious living room. “You don’t know what would have happened.”
Princess followed Angela’s every step. If she would stay in one place, the dog knew she could help her charge.
“Still, I made it easy for them to kidnap me in front of his home. My home. It was supposed to be my home too.” A shudder passed through her at the memory of the flashback she’d had in the anteroom of that home. “He made me stay there, Toni. I know it’s not his fault, he didn’t know how much it would hurt me.”
“But it still hurt,” surmised Toni. “Have you told him this?”
“I think the flashback I had said it all.” Sitting on the floor, Angela put her arms around the dog which crawled in her lap. Princess was a hair too big to be a lapdog, but not by much and it had never stopped the dog from behaving like one. “And the nightmares.”
“Yeah, I’m not sure anything more would have to be said. You should though. Verbalizing your feelings is important.” Toni scooted forward to sit on the edge of the couch. “When do you see Pat again?”
“Probably next Tuesday. I don’t think Craig changed that.” Angela looked over her shoulder, saw Nan standing attentively near the bottom of the steps. “Do you know?”
“No, but I can check for you. Would you like some tea made?”
“Not really.” Angela sighed and pulled her iPhone out as it began to play her husband’s ringtone. She let the soft Trisha Yearwood tune play a moment before answering. “Hi.”
“Hi, honey.” He sounded stressed.
“How’s your dad?” she asked, running her other hand down Princess’s side. It didn’t sound like it was going to be good news.
“He’s a bit groggy still. A lit
tle confused, I think. Other than that…”
Angela bit her lip as he trailed off. “What’s wrong Craig?”
“They’re not sure if his spinal cord was damaged. There’s a lot of swelling, and Dad can’t feel his legs right now.”
“Oh my God,” she whispered. Her husband needed a hug from her so badly, and she wasn’t there to give him one. Instead, she hugged her dog a little closer. “When will they know?”
“I’m not sure. I think Dr. Rashid said they had to wait for the swelling to go down before they could do more testing. Probably MRI’s, I don’t remember if she said. I have no idea about anything right now.” Craig drew in a deep breath. “I’m not sure when I’m going to be coming home, Angel.”
She’d been waiting for him to say so, but it came as a sharp blow. “How long do you think?”
“I don’t know, and I’m sorry.”
Angela nodded automatically. “Okay. Okay.” Her mind raced to find a solution. “Can I come to you?”
“Not yet,” he replied. “If I’m still here for our July anniversary, I’ll arrange a flight for you.”
“Okay,” she said again. At least it hadn’t been an outright no. Their July anniversary of their ceremony at the farm, the only one she remembered, was just over a month away. They’d never been apart that long, not in the four years since she’d awakened from her coma and stayed away from him for a month afterwards. She felt panic clawing at her throat. And not just for herself. “Is there something else bothering you, Craig?”
There was a momentary silence. She thought she could hear hospital sounds in the background. “It’s probably nothing,” her husband finally said. “It’s just…Veronica apologized to me this morning.”
Not all scars are seen.
“Oh,” she said. She had to remember this phrase, even if she didn’t always understand it. She usually only ever heard this phrase when she thought of her husband’s past abuse, although she’d heard it float through her head once when seated across from her biological father. Sometimes it was easy for her to forget how badly her husband had been hurt by everything surrounding her kidnapping. And the fact that he had other hurts he liked to keep hidden. “That’s…unexpected. I mean, I guess it’s good.”
But she didn’t trust it.
“I know,” her husband said. “But…it’s just, she told me Tim wrote to her about our abuse and he never mentioned it to me. I like to think my brother would have mentioned a confrontation like that.”
There was a slapping sound, and Angela wished she could see what her husband was doing. “I know we don’t talk about it in our letters. I tell him about stuff going on at the ranch and Tim tells me stories from when you two were kids.”
Craig laughed, and she was heartened. “Don’t believe everything he tells you.”
“So, you two never snuck onto the subway, or…”
“That was a long time ago, Angel.
Still, she’d made him laugh. “Will you visit Tim while you’re there?”
“I plan to. I’ll ask him about it then. It’s just…her timing is unsettling. Why not apologize after she’d confessed to my father what she’d done? Or even at our second wedding?”
They were valid questions. “Did you ask her?”
“Yeah, she said she didn’t want to give my dad the wrong impression.”
A warning bell sounded in Angela’s head. “Why would your dad think anything of it if she apologized to the sons she molested?”
“I had that thought myself,” he admitted. “But I didn’t ask her. Dad promised me he’d divorce her if he thought for a minute she wasn’t cooperating with her therapist. Maybe she knows that and didn’t want to risk it.” Craig cleared his throat. “I promise you, Angel, if this drags out more than a month – I will bring you out here. I don’t like being here alone.”
His confession warmed the cold spot his absence brought her. “I don’t like it either. I hope it won’t be that long. I hope he’s alright.”
“Me too, honey. Look, I’m going to go back and sit with Dad for a while. I’ll text you later and we can talk some more.”
“Alright,” she replied, smiling so he could hear it. “Tell your dad I said hi.”
“I will. I love you, Angel.”
“I love you too.” She was about to ask if he wanted to hang up on their three count, but her phone beeped as the call ended. “Oh, uhm…”
Putting her phone back in her pocket, Angela didn’t know whether she was crying or panicking. The dog in her arms whined, and she could hear two women talking to her as they patted her back.
Her husband needed her…how was she supposed to shine in his darkness and comfort him if she wasn’t there?
N an sighed as Miss Angela shut herself away in her craft room after her crisis had past. This time she’d managed to keep Princess out, and Nan petted the dog as she flopped down at the bottom of the stairs.
“Give her a few days,” Nan said to the distraught canine. “She’ll even out.”
Princess made a snorting sound, causing Nan to smile.
“Do you really believe that?” the equine therapist asked skeptically.
Looking over at the other woman, she suppressed a sigh. “It’s my hope.”
Toni nodded. “I hope so too. Maybe once she can get back on a horse, things will be better. Tell her I’ll come around again in a few days.”
“I will. Thank you for your help.”
Nan sighed in relief as the other woman left without further opinion. Although they both considered Angela to be a friend, they were not friends with each other. Princess snorted again, and the housekeeper chuckled. “I agree, Princess.”
Returning to the kitchen, she decided to start the earliest dinner preparations. It was far too early, but since her Miss Angela had refused any lunch, she was going to try to coax her into an early supper. She was mildly surprised to hear the front door opening.
Ever vigilant in the protection of the woman upstairs, Nan moved quickly to the entry way between rooms to see who had entered. She was surprised, but relieved, to find a dusty Jared standing in the doorway taking his boots off. “I wasn’t expecting you back so early, Jared.”
The young man smiled warmly at her. “Toni stopped to talk to Gary. Who talked to Rick.” He shrugged. “And then Rick sent me back to the house for the rest of the day.”
“I see,” replied Nan, and sighed deeply at the departed woman’s meddling. Sometimes Miss Angela just needed to be alone, and she was so seldom able to be that way. “Your sister had…I’m not sure if it was a crying jag or a panic attack. But Miss Angela’s in her craft room at the present, and she’s requested to not be disturbed.”
Jared pushed long hair out of his eyes. “That’s not good. What did she learn about Craig’s dad?”
Nan hesitated, but this young man was family to her bosses. “Come with me into the kitchen, Jared.”
The young man nodded, glancing up the long curving stairwell. But he followed the housekeeper.
“Go ahead and wash your face and hands in the sink,” Nan instructed as returned to tenderizing the chicken breasts she’d set out.
“Yes ma’am,” replied Jared, doing as she’d requested.
“I’m not sure all of the details, Miss Angela was a bit vague and I only heard one side of the conversation. From what I gather, there is a chance Mr. Moore’s father might be paralyzed.”
J ared stared at the older woman in shock. “Paralyzed!”
“Perhaps. That’s what your sister said. Mr. Moore is in for a longer trip than he’d planned for I’m afraid.” Nan shook her head, bringing the metal mallet down repeatedly on the raw chicken on the counter in front of her.
Considering how his sister had locked herself away for the time being, Jared sighed as he dried his hands on the dark blue hand towel. “What’s the longest Craig’s ever been gone for?”
“A week,” answered Nan.
“And Angela…”
“Varies as to how
well she handles it.” Nan shot a glance in the general direction of the stairs. “She usually spends a lot of time riding, but for some reason she seems to be following the doctor’s orders despite her recent infraction.”
“I wonder how long it’ll last,” mused Jared. He saw Nan’s quizzical expression and explained his comment. “The doctor’s restrictions, not her obedience to them.”
She chuckled. “No doubt at her next appointment on Monday. She does seem to be feeling better than when she came home.”
He nodded, then asked, “Since Angie’s hidden herself away, is there anything I can help you with?” Jared shrugged at her look of confusion. “Rick told me to give you whatever help you might need.”
“I was planning on doing some vacuuming once I have the chicken breasts stuffed, and in the oven,” replied Nan. “Not my original plans, but I think it best I stay in the house this afternoon.”
The young man nodded. “What were your original plans?”
“I was going to work in the garden. Check it for weeds and see if rabbits have been invading. The vegetable garden, I mean. Miss Angela tends to the flowers and fruit bushes.”
“I bet she has blueberry bushes.”
“She does,” Nan answered with a smile. “Several.”
Jared pressed his lips together in thought. It must have been a new hobby because he didn’t remember his sister being interested in gardening before. How many other things had changed since her kidnapping? At least she still liked blueberries. Did she remembered how they used to go blueberry picking together in the summer? If she had her own bushes, maybe they would do so again. He’d make sure of it. “Tell you what, show me where the garden is, and I’ll give it a once over for you. I used to help Mom with ours.”
“Alright, I will as soon as I’m done with the chicken.”
18
H e wasn’t sure how much sleep he’d gotten. Standing at the windows in his bedroom, Craig watched the sunrise creep over the city. His dreams had been vague, and he couldn’t remember details, just feelings. Fear, loneliness, and anxiousness had followed him into awakening.