As angry and frustrated as I was, I couldn’t help but feel sorry for her. She was so delusional, so fucked up. Her glassy eyes showed me she had gone out and gotten her latest fix.
“You’re high as a kite,” I said. “You don’t even know what you’re saying.”
“I’m hot for you, Zane. Still.”
“Well, I’m not hot for you. At all. As a matter of fact, you make me sick, and I hope I never have to look at you again.” My words were harsh, but they were the truth she needed to hear.
“Give me my daughter, and you don’t have to see either of us again.”
“That’s never going to happen. You’re pathetic, Heather. You’re a horrible mother, a selfish, inhuman piece of shit.”
She kept that smug look on her face until the sound of sirens could be heard. Before she could run away, I caught her arm. “I don’t think so.”
“Let me go, Zane. Don’t do this to me. Don’t let them lock me up again, Zane. I’m going to do better.” She struggled to get away from me, but I held on to her arm, not letting it go until it was to be put in handcuffs. “I hate you for doing this to me.”
“You did this to yourself, Heather. You don’t love me, and you don’t even love Mila more than your next fix. You’re unfit, and now you’re not free anymore. You’re going back where you belong.”
The cops came in, and I turned her loose.
“I want my baby,” she cried to them. “Please, I want my baby. He’s got my baby.”
It wasn’t going to do her any good to carry on with her lies. The cops, who we’d gone to school with, knew the truth. As much as I was glad to see her go, it was a heartbreaking display, but only because it should have never come to that.
Heather had had it all and threw it away.
As the cops took her away, I breathed a sigh of relief. I called my mother’s phone, and she answered anxiously. “Zane? Is it good news? Can we come home?”
“Yes, ma’am,” I said, watching them put Heather in the car. “She’s back in custody, and I should have the house in order before you get home.”
“Oh, good. Thank the heavens. I was so worried about you. We’re on our way. Give us half an hour.”
We ended the call, and I glanced down to see the message from Tara.
Should I, or shouldn’t I?
I was still hurt by her decision to end things, but I had a feeling that Clay and Grady had given her the note I’d left already.
As much as I wanted to call her, it just seemed like I needed to see my little girl for the moment and have things ready for her when she got back. The house still needed vacuuming, and there were still broken dishes in the kitchen that needed to be swept.
I decided to bide my time. First things first, and then I’d tell her everything. If she wanted me, she could follow the instructions given. It was what I’d planned and the best way to do things.
If she truly wanted me, she’d make the next move. She was the one who’d ended it, after all.
Before I knew it, the time had passed, and my parents were in the drive. The house was clean, but it wasn’t the way it had been before. All I could think to tell my daughter was a lie. The truth would be too damaging.
I went out to greet her, and when she saw me, she ran toward me. “Daddy!”
I dropped to my knees, and she ran into my arms, throwing her little arms around me. “God, I’ve missed you, Noodle!”
I picked her up and carried her over to get her things out of the car. My father was already a step ahead of me, and he had a concerned look on his face that was very similar to my mother’s. Neither would say a word, but I’d catch them up later.
“How was your trip?” I asked her as we walked into the house.
“It was fun. Daddy, why did you take everything away?” She glanced at the wall where one of my favorite paintings used to hang. Then she pointed to the area where my cars had been destroyed. “You got rid of the cars?”
“Yeah, well, it was time for a change. I thought you and Nana might want to see what you could find next time you go out to the store, and we’ll put up whatever you like.”
“Okay,” she said. “But I hope you like unicorns, Daddy. That’s just what this place needs.”
“Wonderful,” I said, trying my best not to sound too sarcastic.
My mother looked around and covered her mouth. I could tell she wanted to cry. The loss in the home was much more than she expected, and I was glad she couldn’t see the inside of the cupboards. They were practically bare from Heather pulling everything out onto the floor.
As I put Mila down, she ran to her room, and I walked over to see if my mother was okay. “It’s just stuff, Mom. She didn’t get Mila, and that’s all that matters to me.”
“Anything you need, just tell us. We’ll help.”
“I appreciate it, Mom, but we’re good.”
My father went over and opened the cabinet, and my mother looked up and began to cry. “She got to the plates?” I’d had custom dishes made with my monogram. My mother’s friend, who had passed away months ago, had been the potter I’d used.
“I know. I know she went for that on purpose. It’s going to be fine. I’ll have more made somehow.”
“She’s evil, that one.”
About that time, Mila came out of her room, a confused look on her face. “Daddy?”
“What’s up, Noodle?”
“Where are my clothes?” She looked as if she was going to cry.
I glanced at my mother. “Um, let’s go take a look.” I had been so focused on the things in her room that I hadn’t thought to look in the closet. When I opened the door, the rack was empty except for one little outfit I’d saved from when she was a baby. It was the outfit we’d brought her home in.
“I wanted to change.”
“I’m sorry, sweetheart. I thought you and Nana could get you some new ones. You’ve gotten so tall that those wouldn’t fit you anymore.”
How did a mother take her child’s things? And worst of all, I had to take the rap.
“Yes, honey. I told your father that we needed to get you all set up with a new wardrobe. It’s going to be so pretty. You’ll love it.”
Mila’s eyes lit up. “At least I still have these,” she said, pinching her leggings and pulling them away from her skinny little legs. “I love my pink sparkles.”
Those were getting a bit short too. “Why don’t you see if you can get a new pair of those in her size?” I said to my mother. “Unless you want me to take her?”
My mother shook her head. “No, we’ll be fine. I know just where to go. And besides, you intimidate the salesclerks.”
“That’s not intimidation, honey,” said my father, wagging his brows.
My mother rolled her eyes at him and scooped Mila up into her arms. “Come on, honey. Let’s go see if we have some money in my purse, and maybe we’ll all go out for ice cream.”
“Yay!” Mila cheered as she followed my mother out.
My dad looked at me. “Son, I’m sorry we headed back without telling you.”
“It’s okay. I should have told you I knew Heather was out. I just didn’t want to ruin your trip.”
“It’s understandable. You don’t think they’d let her out again, do you?”
“Not after all of this. And now I get to tell them about the closet. I hadn’t noticed she’d wiped out her things like that.” I wondered if she had taken them with her. There was no telling. I hadn’t noticed the trashcans were full when I threw the other stuff away.
“I never want Mila to know anything about her. She doesn’t deserve this.”
“No, she sure doesn’t. And I just hope the next time you find someone, you know what the hell you’re getting into. I know your mother encourages dating. Make sure whoever she is, she’s worth all of this. Heather wasn’t.”
“I know.” I gave a nod. “I actually did meet someone in Las Vegas.”
“She isn’t some drugged-up stripper, is she? You need to
find a mature woman. Someone who could be a mother to my granddaughter.”
“She is. Her name is Tara. We’re talking, but I’m not sure it’s going to work out.”
“Well, I know you are aware my stance is a little different than your mom’s, but I think it won’t hurt to just be you and Mila for a little while longer.”
Dad walked out, leaving me there. He had a good point. While I wasn’t going to pursue anyone else, I still wanted to give Tara another chance. If she was even interested.
I joined them in the other room, and Mom and Mila decided that we should go out to grab some ice cream.
It was good to be with my little girl, to see her smile and hear her laughter. She was all that mattered in my life, and I wasn’t going to lose focus of that again, not for anyone. Whatever happened with Tara happened.
I loved her, but the ball was in her court, and a text message for me to call her wasn’t going to cut it. Maybe I was just stubborn, but all I wanted to do was spend time with Mila for the evening.
Chapter 30
Tara
Even though I’d barely had a wink of sleep in two nights, I was at work with a smile for my customers.
“Thank you, honey,” said one of the older women who had come in with her husband at least three other times that week. “I’ll just have a coffee. Make it that dark roast you brought me yesterday.”
“Yes, ma’am,” I said, swallowing hard the same way I had every single time someone ordered the dark roast, which happened way more times than I remembered.
Usually, everyone wanted the house blend, but it seemed like there was an influx of dark roast drinkers, or maybe it was just me being overly sensitive.
I hurried to the back, got her and her husband’s drinks, and brought them back to the table. They thanked me, and I left, glancing over at the table that Clay and Nick had sat at the day before. It was open, and I was still waiting like a fool on whatever he was supposed to be bringing me from Zane.
Karen breezed past me. “Don’t look so anxious. It could have been bullshit.”
“Thanks for making me feel better,” I said. “It’s not like I can help how I feel. I want to hear from him. I haven’t even gotten a text back.”
“That’s because you need to move on. He’s over it. He’s back home with whatever girl he dates there, and he’s moved on with his life. You should take the hint and do the same.”
I stirred the gravy and made sure the items in the back of the buffet were brought up to the front. “That’s real nice of you to be so blunt. Thanks for the words of encouragement.”
“You should have gone out with me last night. I met a couple of guys, and they were so hot. You’d have liked the one. You know you should really get back out there. It’s going to hit you sooner or later, and all of the batteries in the world won’t save you.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” I regretted asking the minute the words left my lips.
Karen looked at me like I was so naïve. “You’re heightened libido,” she said with a giggle. “You’ll be buying toys to save you when it gets to be too much. It’s common knowledge. You’re going to want it even more now that you lost it. You may as well face it.”
“I’m good, okay?” I glanced around to see if anyone was paying attention, but luckily, there wasn’t anyone within earshot. “I don’t need toys and batteries. I need Zane. I need Clay to show up.” I dropped the tongs and went to the back, trying to get away from her.
She meant well, or at least that was what I told myself, but I knew she thought I was a fool. A fool in love. That wasn’t the worst thing to be, was it?
I hid in the back for as long as I could, peeking out now and then to make sure my tables were okay and to see if Clay and Nick had shown up.
Then I spotted another handsome man sitting at my last table. He was alone and dressed to the nines in a fancy suit. He had that devil-may-care smile that reminded me of Zane’s a whole lot, and I took a deep breath knowing I had to go and talk to him.
But before I could make it to the table, he was joined by Clay, and the two men shook hands across the table.
I strolled up, prepared to play aloof. “Welcome to the Golden Flower Buffet. I’ll be your server today. My name is Tara. How may I help you?”
“Wow, that’s quite the spiel. You didn’t have to say all that for us.” Clay grinned.
I took a deep breath, trying really hard not to tell him off. “Well good. Then this should be easy. Tell me what you want to drink.”
“Juice with gin.”
“You can go to the bar for the gin, but I can bring you the juice.”
“He’ll have juice and so will I,” said the other man. “I’m Grady, by the way. Zane’s best right- hand man.”
“You are the one he was here to see.”
“That’s me, the one and only. He told me a lot about you. Said he was crazy for you, and now I get it. You’re gorgeous.”
“And you’re a flirt.”
“I would never,” he said with a hearty chuckle that made his hazel eyes sparkle. “Zane would murder me. He doesn’t share. Never has.”
“Not even when I offered him one of the Babin twins,” said Clay.
“Yeah, our boy doesn’t give himself away that easy. He’s a gentleman, a protector.”
“You sound as if you’re in love with him.” I had never heard a man say so many sweet things about another with such a twinkle in his eye.
“He’s like a brother to me. We’ve known each other since we were kids. And that means something. Like when he is in love with someone, that’s—”
“Enough with the games. Did you have something to give me from him or not?” I put my hand on my hip, and it was all I could do not to tap my foot.
Clay shook his head. “Now I see the appeal,” he said. “She’s just as tough as he is.”
“If not tougher.” Grady leaned onto the table and pulled something from his coat pocket. “Here. It’s the letter your man sent to you. He was hoping you’d understand everything once you read it.”
He passed me a small envelope, and inside, there was a folded piece of paper and an airline ticket. I read the letter and hoped it would explain more than just why he hadn’t texted me back.
Tara, I don’t know what I did to upset you, but I had wanted to explain something. While I wanted to share my life with you, there was a part of it that I just couldn’t share. That is, until I found myself in love with you.
Knowing you don’t want kids has made things tough, and that’s because I have a five-year-old daughter. Mila is the world to me, and she has to come first, but if you want, I’d love to keep in touch and see where things could go.
I understand if you don’t want to be a part of our lives, but I’m afraid we’re a package deal if things are to go any further. Enclosed are some tickets to my hometown, as well as a voucher for an all-expense-paid stay at the Heights in Williston.
I hope you come and see me sometime and take a break from your life to be a part of mine. If only for a while.
I miss you already, Zane.
“I don’t understand. His big secret was that he had a kid?” That wasn’t the worst news in the world. I loved kids. I just hated seeing them in horrible situations. And I wouldn’t raise one in Las Vegas like my mother did me.
“He’s very protective of her. He wasn’t hiding her for any other reason but to make sure you were decent before bringing his kid into it.”
I could understand that. “So, this is for me to go and see him?”
Clay nodded. “Yeah, he’s hoping you’ll make the next move. And honestly, I think you owe him that much.” He gave me a look as if I’d done his friend dirty, and perhaps I had when I hadn’t let him explain.
But how was I to know the other woman in his life was a five-year-old daughter? “I would have understood.”
“He’s got some other issues with her mother. But he should be the one to explain all of that.”
“
Oh, great. Let me guess. She’s still hooked on him.”
“No,” said Clay. “The only way she’d get hooked on him is if he was made of cocaine.”
Grady pegged his friend with a hard stare. “Again, it’s probably best that he tells you.”
“I don’t want any drama.” I shook my head.
“She’s in prison,” said Clay, earning another look. He gave it right back to his friend. “What? She’s going to find out sooner or later.”
“Later would be better. It’s not our place.”
“No, I appreciate it, really. It’s hard wondering.”
“Yeah, I was thinking the same thing. So, tell me. Are you going to go and see him?”
I smiled. “I think I am. I just don’t know when I could.”
Grady smiled as he got up from the table.
“I could go and get that juice,” I said.
“No, thanks,” he said. “I think we’ll just head to the bar after all.” He laid down a hundred-dollar bill and turned to walk away.
“Oh, you don’t have to do that,” I said. “I didn’t even wait on you.”
Clay smiled. “Let him. He doesn’t have enough to do with it as it is.”
“For your trip,” he said. “I hope you don’t change your mind.” He turned and left, taking Clay with him, the man glancing back once as they headed for the lobby.
I stared down at the tip and the airline ticket. I still couldn’t believe he had sent it. I wanted to go so badly. I missed him so much.
I ran to the back, where I found Karen and Ben arguing. Once he walked away, she turned to me and smiled. “I’d like to wipe the smug smile off his greasy face.”
“Yeah, me too. Maybe you can tell me how to tell him I’m going to North Dakota without getting fired.”
“What? North Dakota? To see Zane Ballard?” She had it right. Ding, Ding.
“Look at this,” I said as she grew concerned, her brow creasing to show how much. “It wasn’t bullshit. He likes me, and I nearly blew it.”
Tell Me No Lies Page 18